Guo Degang’s May Day Golden Week Crosstalk Special: Talking about Prank Lines

A: Thank you for your encouragement to me. Hello, audience friends on the third floor.

B: Is there a third floor? Is there a third floor?

A: The fourth floor

B: There is no fourth floor

A: This time we will tell you a stand-up comedy

< p>B: I’m glad, don’t talk nonsense

A: I like to talk about cross talk very much. Over the years, everyone has praised me so much, and I know the reason is that I am very good

B: Really?

A: It would be better if no one strangled me

B: It seems that I am here to strangle him

A: I’m glad that everyone came to see me and watch me talk about cross talk. Sorry everyone. I really can’t get rid of it

B: What’s wrong?

A: If there is a way to prevent you from watching this, I’ll go back and make a mosaic of the video

B: I provoked you to offend me

A: Don’t make trouble, everyone is here to see me talk about cross talk

B: Two people talk about cross talk, why? It’s all about you

A: Don’t make trouble. If you don’t believe me, just ask. If you are willing to watch my cross talk, sit on a stool and applaud. If you are willing to watch his cross talk, stand up and jump three times. Do you think so?

B: Well, who would like to offer those eyes?

A: What about this admirable actor? I have always had a strong opinion of them. Why, the general intelligence of those who stand in them is a little bit lacking. Think about it, anyone with a better mind will stand here and make fun of you. Who wants to let their children admire them? This is a shameful thing. The cost of our trip here is huge, but there is no serious talk over there. Just a few words, ah, yes. Me, I'm being ridiculous. Do you know this?

B: Where is this?

A: They didn’t talk seriously, they just talked back and forth. Talking back and forth, he just recited these few sentences. It is said that we are not going to corrupt you. He just recited these few sentences from the age of seven until yesterday.

B: As for me?

A: But to be honest, when he was an apprentice, what he learned was funny.

B: This is the truth

A: We were apprentices together. The teacher was very happy when he saw me, "What is your name?" "My name is Tian Hailong" "Oh, okay Ah, so good. This kid looks like Zhou Bichang, how smart he is. I recognize you as my godfather."

B: Wait a minute, what kind of teacher is this?

A: Love me, like me

B: Then I can’t just accept you as my godfather

A: The teacher asked you again, "Come in next, you What's your name?" "Wang Huaguang" "turned away and faced over there" (vomiting)

B: It's not so disgusting

A: His father is watching, I'm anxious. "Teacher, you are troubled. Our children want to learn this." "Your children can't learn, because their intelligence is not good." "Can you give us a chance? Please."

B: We have to see what happens. Ah

A: Seeing the adults doting on the child, this pitiful "turn around, turn around, what's your name?" "Wang Huaguang" "How much does one plus one equal?" "Six" "Go home, go home" < /p>

B: I'm so stupid

A: His father is sweating now, "Teacher, give us another chance" "How much does one plus one get" "250" Let’s go for a walk”

B: I think I’m only 250

A: “Teacher, please give me another chance”

B: It’s not easy for my dad either< /p>

A: "How much is one plus one?" "1000" "Get out" "Teacher, please give me another chance"

B: Look how anxious my dad is

A: "For the last time, what is one plus one?" "Two" "Teacher, please give me another chance."

B: Give me a chance. Who is the stupid one between me and my father?

p>

A: They are all stupid, so there is no need to argue

B: What is there to argue about? It is not right for two generations to suffer so much.

A: When I was young, who didn’t know about him in our folk art club? In our business exam, I got a hundred in every door. Talk, learn and sing, no matter what. I haven't even taken the exam yet, and the teacher gave me one hundred.

B: This teacher is also partial. A: He is, 30, 25.

I worked hard, didn’t sleep for a month, and worked hard, -9

B: -9? I still owed 9 points last semester

A: There are fortune-telling outside. How can I get a few points and get a high score? The fortune teller told him that if he eats one fried dough stick and two eggs before the exam, he will get 100 points if he eats one fried dough stick and two eggs. I was really obedient. I ate and went to take the exam after eating. 0 points,

B: Why 0 points?

A: Eat the eggs first.

B: Hi. Am I like this?

A: There are many stories about him fighting wits when he was a child. There was Wang Xuebo in our folk art club. He was so awesome and smart. One day Wang Huaguang met him at the entrance of the alley, with a bulging pocket, "You "What are you carrying in your pocket?" Wang Xuebo is so smart. "I didn't tell you that I was carrying boiled eggs."

B: About the same as me

A: Wang Huaguang, look at it, "Bring it here." "Give it to me, give it to me." "Why? Just guess, I'll give it to you." "I guess you'll give it to me."

B: Cough, not as good as me

A: Make Wang Huaguang happy, "five"

B: Cough, I'll just die

p>

A: So if you want Wang Huaguang to be happy during the New Year, just tell him a joke on August 15th, and he will be happy during the New Year.

B: This is too insensitive.

A: With this intelligence, how can you make me laugh?

B: You are trying to bully me

A: Stop making trouble, give me some praise Tell me the name of the dish.

B: What is the name of the dish? After coming up, it was wrong for you to say this. After so many years of doing this, what happened to us?

A: Don’t make trouble, don’t make trouble.

B: Although I am standing at this table, there is nothing wrong with this or this.

A: You must have a bad mouth. Don't be polite.

B: Why don’t you have a good mouth?

A: Didn’t you accuse him unjustly?

B: It makes you angry.

A: Don’t make trouble, don’t make trouble, no more jokes, let’s perform seriously. You give me a paragraph and I tell you the name of the dish.

B: Wait a minute. That doesn't sound right to me.

A: What’s wrong?

B: What’s wrong, I’ve been working with you for so many years?

A: There’s nothing I can do about it. None of the people here today are outsiders.

B: What are you doing? Just because you are not an outsider, why should you elevate yourself and belittle others?

A: I didn’t belittle you, I’m just exalting you.

B: Is this too high-spirited?

A: I say this, I am grateful and I tell you.

B: You are exalting yourself and belittling others. Just this sentence for you, let me tease you. Isn’t this over? What else is there?

A: He hasn’t teased you, you know? Have you ever teased me?

B: Why haven’t I teased you before?

A: Have you ever teased me? I have known you for so many years, have you ever teased me?

B: Your memory is not very good either.

A: What’s wrong?

B: In the first few days, did you tease me once? In the first month, did you tease me once?

A: Or do you still remember it?

B: How could I forget this has just been a month?

A: Yes, yes, yes. Funny and funny.

B: I didn’t accuse you wrongly.

A: Last time we went to Wendeng for a commercial performance, a pharmaceutical company held a sorority party. There are many patients with prostate inflammation, more than 100 people, and they are given medicine on site. There is a small show during the process of dispensing the medicine. I can't sit idle. We have found someone to perform it. Regardless of picking up or delivering, food or accommodation. 15 yuan per game, 70% tax deducted. No one went, he went. There was such a time. Yes, he went.

B: Don’t talk so much. Am I kidding you?

A: All the patients’ pants were wet within three minutes of being on stage. The doctor also felt very puzzled. Wang Huaguang was too diuretic.

B: Never heard of it.

A: Do you still remember this little thing?

B: It’s not like what you said. Why don't you, you talk too much, don't talk nonsense, you stand over here, I'll stand over here. Today I am going to tease you a little bit and let everyone take a look.

A: Is anyone watching?

B: Look, look. Thank you. Thank you.

A: It seems there are a lot of patients down there.

B: What? Come back for fun.

A: I will give you instructions.

B: Just tell me.

A: Everyone, Wang Huaguang is so funny. Starting next year, today is Wang Huaguang’s birthday. Do you know? Everyone is not happy about having fun for a while. Don’t let anyone pick on him. I’m going to treat you after the show is over. Whoever goes spends the money. I've finished giving instructions.

B: Is this an instruction for me?

A: Aren’t you funny? Can you do it?

B: Stop talking nonsense. Let's start from the beginning. Today I will tell you a cross talk,

A: Cross talk pays attention to four skills

B: Yes

A: Pays attention to speaking, learning and singing

< p>B: Yes, yes, yes

A: This is not easy to say.

B: What?

A: You have to keep your mouth clean

B: Yes

A: There are a few words that can be said easily by those who talk about cross talk for two hundred yuan. Money buys a piglet, and he drinks water and eats beans. Hit the wall and throw it out. Guess what?

B: What’s wrong?

A: Dead.

B: Oh, that’s not right. I am funny. Do you know?

A: Hey, why do you say this so smoothly?

B: I can’t help it, you always take the lead

A: You can’t do this.

B: I can’t do it, I said this.

A: I said too much, right?

B: I said this word.

A: I’ve said too much, I’ve said too much, okay, let’s do it again.

B: Yes, talk less.

A: Talk less.

B: Stop talking. Don't mess with it.

A: I won’t interfere. Come on come on.

B: Today, I will tell you a cross talk. Cross talk focuses on speaking, learning and singing. These are the four lessons. Generally speaking, two people stand on the stage and talk, which is called cross talk. If there is one person, it is called stand-up comedy. If there are three or more people, it is called group cross talk. There are many types of cross talk. There is the flat one with a straight mouth. What's going on until you die?

A: Disgusting.

B: Not a word, not a word?

A: Come on, come on, come on.

B: There is a preface and a postscript. Is this what I usually say? Let’s talk about a whole paragraph.

A: Come on, come on, come on.

B: Tell me the name of the dish, okay?

A: Come on, come on, I won’t pick.

B: What about today

A: Hey

B: Let me perform a cross talk for you

A: Yes

B: The name of this cross talk is Bao, are you taking some medicine?

A: I don’t think so? After you finished speaking, I said yes. After you finished speaking, I said yes?

B: Nonsense, isn’t this? But why don’t you say it after I’ve finished speaking?

A: Come on, come on.

B: This program is called naming the dishes.

A: Stop making trouble when giving the name of a dish. There is a long passage at the end. How can you do it?

B: I can do that?

A: Is it true or false?

B: Come on.

A: Come

B: Come. I'll treat you to a meal.

A: I won’t go.

B: Not going? I have nothing to say, what can I do if I don’t go?

A: What should I do?

B: You have to go. I'll treat you to dinner, why don't you go?

A: Following you?

B: Of course

A: Okay, come on, come on.

B: I’ll treat you to dinner

A: Go to hell

B: What, you’re scolding the Master no matter what

A: Didn’t you say go?

B: Go to eat

A: Didn’t I fuck you?

B: I said you can talk about people Words? Just say it, just one word

A: OK, OK

B: No one is as twisted as you

A: It’s going to kill me

B: I’ll treat you to dinner

A: Go

B: This won’t work either

A: Oh, I’ll just die, what? None of them work

B: Let’s do it again, I’ll treat you to dinner

A: (falling to the ground) What’s wrong, someone is making trouble

B: No, no , you are the one causing trouble

A: You don’t know how at all

B: I haven’t said it yet, why can’t you?

A: Okay Come back when you're done

B: I'll treat you to a meal

A: What to eat?

B: Let's have a banquet of Manchu and Han Dynasty.

A: Don’t tell me what I’ll eat. Just tell me the dish. I know what you want to eat, so I’ll treat you as a treat.

B: Is this what you said?

A: No problem.

B: Okay. I treat you to steamed lamb.

A: Stop, I can’t eat it now.

B: This is just a dish, this is just a dish. Can't eat it?

A: I can’t eat anymore.

B: Don’t ask, you have no money.

A: Hey, thank you all, it’s so flattering, thank you all.

B: You are causing trouble. Let me tell you, you are not so flattering. You have to follow my lead.

A: Still have to follow you?

B: Nonsense, if I praise you like this, you will not be amused.

A: Come on, come on, follow you.

B: Really, I hate you. Don't mess with this.

A: Come, come, come and go, are there words and deeds?

B: Nonsense. I want to invite you. . . . What do I say?

A: Say something else. Say something else.

B: You tell me this.

A: Say something else. Say something else. Don't be anxious. Don't be anxious.

B: Thank you for your hard work

A: Thank you for your hard work

B: Yesterday, I went to your house

A : Come home, come home

B: I opened the door like this

A: Open the door

B: A person came out

p>

A: Someone comes out, someone comes out

B: I saw that this person is not an outsider

A: There are no foreigners in my family.

B: She is your daughter-in-law, my eldest sister-in-law

A: My eldest sister-in-law, eldest sister-in-law

B: I’m asking you, saying you’re not at home.

A: Not at home, right?

B: I’m leaving.

A: Let’s go.

B: You should also do some exercise. What's the mess?

A: What's the matter?

B: What's going on?

A: What's the matter? There are words coming and going.

B: You must have content in every word you say.

A: I hate it, that means you don’t know how to do it, you know?

B: Why not? It’s not okay for me to praise you so much.

A: Everyone will be happy if I say this.

B: Impossible.

A: Let’s try it. Take that side.

B: Does anyone say that about cross talk? Come on, I don't believe this.

A: Let me give you a few instructions,

B: You also give instructions

A: Nonsense, I just gave you instructions

< p>B: Come on

A: It’s up to me, you can be happy even if you don’t want to be happy, there are benefits after finishing the job. I just told you the same thing.

B: Is this how they were matched?

A: Thank you for your hard work

B: Thank you for your hard work

A: Yesterday, I went to your house

B : Come home, come home

A: I opened the door like this

B: Open the door

A: A person came out

p>

B: Someone comes out, someone comes out

A: When I see that this person is not an outsider, she is your wife, my sister-in-law

B: Sister-in-law, sister-in-law

p>

A: I’m asking you, saying you’re not at home.

B: Not at home, right?

A: I’m leaving. As soon as I went out, I met your father. Your father looks like Zhou Bichang. Hahahaha, so cool.

B: What Coke, what Coke?

A: Do you think everyone is happy? This is ability, you know?

B: What Coke? Does my father look like Zhou Bichang? Does anyone talk like this? I have to say that everyone would be happy if your father looked like Li Yuchun.

A: You are unhappy!

B: Come and change it again.

A: Come on, come on. Isn’t that all? Tossing the horse back and forth isn’t it

B: Come on

A: Come on

< p>B: Thank you for your hard work

A: Thank you for your hard work

B: Yesterday, I went to your house

A: Come home, come home< /p>

B: Let me bang the door open like this

A: Let’s open the door

B: A person came out from inside

A: Someone comes out, someone comes out

B: When I see that this person is not an outsider

A: There are no foreigners in my family.

B: She is your daughter-in-law, my eldest sister-in-law

A: My eldest sister-in-law, eldest sister-in-law

B: I am asking you, saying you are not at home.

A: Not at home, right?

B: I’m leaving

A: Let’s go, let’s go

B: I met your father when I turned the corner

< p>A: No, my father is dead.

B: Ha! Alas, please wait for a while. Your father is dead?

A: Yes.

B: Actually my father is also dead, I forgot to mention this.

A: I’ll do this with you. Isn’t it possible? Come on come on come on. My dad is dead. Reflect slowly on this person.

A: Thank you for your hard work

B: Thank you for your hard work

A: Yesterday, I went to your house

B : Come home, come home

A: I opened the door like this

B: Open the door

A: A person came out

p>

B: Someone comes out, someone comes out

A: I saw that this person is not an outsider

B: There are no foreigners in my family.

A: She is your daughter-in-law, my eldest sister-in-law

B: My eldest sister-in-law, eldest sister-in-law

A: I am asking you, I said you are not at home.

B: Not at home, right?

A: I left, and I met your father when I turned a corner. Your father looks like Zhou Bichang.

B: No

A: What’s wrong?

B: My father is dead

A: I didn’t meet him yesterday, I met him twenty years ago.

B: Oh, have you seen it for twenty years? My dad died thirty years ago.

A: How annoying. His father has been dead for thirty years. He's dead, I've seen him die too.

B: Did you see him even after he died?

A: Not that.

B: Which one? Just one

A: That one, chubby, like Zhou Bichang.

B: No need to compare, no.

A: I, hey hey, said it wrong. Your father died thirty years ago, right?

B: Yes

A: Your father has been dead for thirty years, so where did you come from?

B: Well, this is waiting for me