Ceng Shiqiang is afraid of being laughed at.

Don't get drunk again. Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a glass and shouted, "Are you a brother?" Brother did it! ! "

4。

I am a lonely tree, standing on the roadside for thousands of years, waiting alone, just because one day you pass me, I will fall for you, and it is in vain not to smash you.

5。

If I leave in autumn, I will wait for you in the snow; If the world goes, I will love you in heaven; If I leave, I will let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are not bad!

6.

Miss you, is a very happy thing; Nice to meet you. Loving you is what I will always do; Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing; However, lying to you just happened.

7.

Every day, I pray to the Buddha for a long-lasting blooming rose. When it reaches 999, I will give it to you together and say emotionally, "Little son, I don't believe that the attracted bees won't sting you!" " ! "

8。

Someone saw you today, and you are still so charming, walking slowly in a plaid vest, looking detached and comfortable. It is really cute. I wonder how you beat rabbits in those years.

9。

Husband: Honey, I'm fired. Because of a little thing, it's so unfair! Wife: Why? Husband: I forgot to close the tiger cage after work last night. But they don't want to think, who dares to steal a tiger!

10。

You were internship in a mental hospital, and suddenly a psycho came after you with a kitchen knife. You turned around and ran until you reached a dead end, thinking it was over. The patient said, "This is your knife. It's your turn to chase me!" " "

1 1。

The sky is so clear, the sun is so brilliant, and the sea is so boundless. You were standing on the blue beach, and I stabbed you with a stick: "Hey, this little bastard, his shell is quite hard! ! "

12。

On the first day of the obstetrician's internship, his wife asked him, "How was today?" The doctor said, "It's not too bad. Although the mother and the baby were not saved, the baby's father was finally saved. "

13。

In the military training under the tree that year, the instructor said to the students: Count off in the first row. You looked at the instructor in surprise, and the instructor said loudly, "Count off! So, reluctantly, you turned and hugged the tree! ! "

15。

The moment I left, you cried helplessly and tore your heart out behind me, which made me suddenly understand how much I love you. I suddenly turned around and cried and hugged you: "I'm not selling this pig!" " ! "

16。

When I first met you, I felt that I had known you for a long time. I have never said anything so certain. You may not believe it, but it's true. You really look like my ... lost pig!

18。

If you want to travel abroad, sincere friends will see you off. The cold wind cannot stop our friendship. I hold your hand and say, "Make a good reform and try to reduce your sentence!" " ! "

19。

Listen! I want to chase you! I thought you were! I have been looking for you! I will seize this opportunity! I must catch up with you! Dead flies!

20。

Honey, I miss you again. My love for you is increasing sharply every day, because someone told me that pork has gone up in price, so you can get a good price!

2 1。

The defendant promised to his defense lawyer: "If you have the ability to let me go to prison for only half a year, then you will get an extra reward of $65,438 +0 ooo." As a result, he finally got his wish. While collecting money, the lawyer said, "This is really a chore. The judges had hoped to be acquitted. "

22。

In those days, we walked quietly on the path in our hometown, and you bowed your head shyly. When the villagers saw us, they all praised you: Oh, it's so beautiful and clean! Also praised me: good boy, so young to come out to release pigs! ! "

23。

Honey, you know what? You have lost a lot of weight recently! I see it in my eyes, but it hurts in my heart. It's almost the Spring Festival, but your health is worrying ... who doesn't want to let their pigs kill a few kilograms more!

24。

A girl walked into a bar and said to the shopkeeper, "I will do anything for you if you pay 200 yuan." The shopkeeper said, "OK, you paint the wall here."

26。

27。

29。

Yesterday, I made a bet with my friend. I said: there is nothing more stupid than a pig in the world. I lost, so it's all your fault!

30。

Ah! Your skin is so shiny and your fragrance is so irresistible. Let me bite you hard, dear ... Braised pork.

3 1。

There is a tacit understanding called tacit understanding, a feeling called wonderful, a happiness called being accompanied by you, and a yearning called yearning, so that a fool will finish reading the short message.

32。

33。

An electrician walked into the operating room and said to a dying patient wearing an oxygen mask, hello! Listen, take a deep breath, I need a power outage for five minutes!

34。

Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? I dreamed of you last night. We walked by the river and snuggled up to each other. You looked down at my eyes and said three words affectionately: woof-woof.

36。

A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: "I don't know, I just arrived!" " "

37。

On the bus, a standing pregnant woman said to the man sitting next to her, don't you know I'm pregnant? See that person says nervously only: "the child is not mine!" ! "

38。

You heartless man, to be honest, who was the woman who answered the phone in your room last night? She told me that the number you dialed is busy, please redial later.

39。

Go home: fill your stomach. Hand in the tickets. Kiss your wife. Children in Doby; Go out: Look in the mirror. Dating a woman. Use your head! Pretend to be a grandson.

40。

One day, a drunk took a taxi home, reached out and stopped a 1 10 patrol car, shouting, "Even if it's a kilometer, it's not necessary to write that big!" ! ! ! "

4 1。

( ! ) ordinary ass (_ _! _ _) Fat ass (! ) Tight ass (_). _) Flat ass (_ * _) Inflammatory ass

42。

The sun is pregnant, play a song. Hee hee ... (the disaster caused by the moon)! The tiger held the tortoise down and said, sample! I didn't know you were wearing a vest? Seeing the turtle the next day, the tiger smiled: hey hey! How's it going? Did I break your shell?

43。

Cucumber was lovelorn and cried, and eggplant comforted her: love is not just sweet. Just drunk and heartbroken. And tears. Alas! Who made you fall in love with onions?

44.

People get married because they lack judgment; People also divorce because of lack of endurance; People remarry because of lack of memory.

45。

Your face is more beautiful than Chen Shimei, and your eyes are brighter than Zhuge Liang; My love is deeper than Lu's, my affection is longer, but my promise is more empty than the Monkey King's.

46。

An old lady loved playing mahjong before her death. After her death, her children offered to send mahjong to be buried with her, but a woman was very worried: "What should we do if she is short of hands?" ! "

47。

When the street beauty beckons, the street lamp should also look; The beautiful woman in the street waved and all the tall buildings wanted to kiss. The street beauty waved her hand three times, and the earth braked back.

48。

A couple gave birth to eight children, followed by osmanthus. Camellia, plum blossom, chrysanthemum and yellow flower. Grass flower. Wild flowers, the last one is called no money to spend.

49。

There is a boy in the class who is a famous sissy. Once the art teacher asked him to be a clay figurine, and he shouted: I want to be a man! The deskmate picked up a sentence: "Alas, you finally figured it out!"

50。

I'm not worried if you ignore me outside the castle peak building outside the mountain. There are beautiful women everywhere in the world, and they will take me in at any time.

5 1。

Two mountain friends go climbing together. One of them accidentally fell into the valley ... the other shouted, "Are you hurt?" I only heard the echo from the abyss: "I don't know, I'm still falling ..."

52。

Modern people's living conditions: attend today's class, sleep yesterday's sleep and spend tomorrow's money.

53。

Women like themselves, men like themselves and they are poor. If both sides like themselves, it must be a frog with a dinosaur.

54。

A cool poem about falling in love in college: loneliness, loneliness, not falling in love in loneliness, but perverting in loneliness.

55。

Beauty is beautiful, and beauty is like a cloud. If you treat beautiful women, you can't get a wife.

56。

I don't know what makes me miss you so much, but a thousand words can be summed up in four words: "give me my money back quickly!" ! "

57。

God knows you are thirsty and created water. God knows you are hungry and created rice. God knows you have no lovely friends, so he created me. However, God knows that there is no idiot in this world, and he created you by the way.

58。

Someone said to me, "You are as smart as a pig." I was furious after hearing this! ! I know you! ! How insulting! I'm sorry about that pig! ! ! !

59。

Instructions for jumping off a building: leave a note to the sixth floor; Want to be disabled to the fifth floor; To be hospitalized to the fourth floor; Only scary to the third floor; Fight martial arts to the second floor; Please go to the first floor to watch the excitement.

60。

I have always had a soft spot for you, and your face has always appeared in front of me! But I am too poor to expect, and now I have money! You can say loudly, "Boss, cut that pig head in half for me!" " ! "

6 1.

It is not unusual for people to fall in love; It is not unusual for cattle to eat grass; It's amazing that pigs can press their mobile phones. A pig is a pig. Press it again! What a stupid pig!

62。

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was an idiot. He is so stupid that when people ask him questions, he only answers "No". Have you heard this story?

63。 Wooden furniture, scholars know poetry, people think about money, talents practice, women want figure, geniuses send messages, fools read text messages.

64。

Brainstorm: A pig was killed by a car while crossing the road. Why? I'm telling you, pigs don't turn sharply.

65。

After only five months of marriage, my wife gave birth to a chubby boy for nothing. The husband asked suspiciously, isn't this child a little early? The wife replied: We got married a little late.

66。

The May Day holiday is coming. For the sake of the city's appearance, please stay at home during the holidays and don't go out to scare others.

67。

An unmarried woman lamented: Why are mature men and good men husbands, and no unmarried man is decent? She was reminded that the wife's cultivation of a good husband is self-produced, and no man can learn it by himself!

68。

Don't try to teach pigs to sing, it will not only have no result, but also make pigs unhappy! Don't quarrel with fools, or others won't know who fools are! Don't think you are important, because without you, the sun will still rise in the east tomorrow!

69。

Person: If you help a friend who needs money badly, he will definitely remember you-the next time he needs money badly.

70。

When the nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered, "sweetheart!" " "The patient smiled and said," baby. "

7 1。

A sister-in-law saw a person who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, and quickly said to that person, Comrade, you dropped the cigarettes! The man is furious: you just castrated!

72。

Starting from tomorrow, the city will decide to drive away all the young people with mental retardation who are ugly and detrimental to the city appearance! Hurry up and pack your things, go out and take shelter, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! You are welcome!

73。

A gentleman went to eat: Good, I sat next to a suckling pig. As soon as the words were spoken, I found a fat lady next to me glaring at each other and quickly smiled apologetically: "Sorry, I mean the one that was cooked!" " "

74。

If a star falls on your head, please don't panic. Because that's a gift from God, and you will live a carefree life from now on, because you are stupid.

75。

You are the sun in my heart, but it is raining; You are the moon in my heart, but gloomy; You are a long moth in the sky, but your face hits the ground first.

76。

That day, you cut a pig with a knife, and the pig fled into a dead end, only to hear the pig kneel down and beg for mercy from you: "We were born from the same root, so why fry each other!" "

77。

Test you: What should I do if pigs all over the world die overnight? (Type the title) ..........................................................................................................................................................................