Selection of funny jokes in 2017

Although generally silly jokes are exaggerated, it does not affect our love for them at all. Below is a selection of funny jokes I compiled for you in 2017. I hope you will like it.

2017 Funny Jokes Selection Collection

1. The salary is dead. If you want the salary to be worthy of working, you have to work less.

2. A stutterer was supervising an exam and found a student peeking in. He shouted angrily: "You, you, you, you, how dare you cheat, stand up!" Five students stood up stand up.

3. A couple went to register for marriage. ?Have you had a premarital check-up? His house and car are all intact. ?I mean go to the hospital. The young woman blushed and replied in a low voice: "I checked, it's a boy." ?

4. Maintaining life lies in movement, and creating life also lies in movement. The difference is - out of bed and in bed.

5. Keeping an empty house alone makes people wasteful; having a group of wives and concubines makes people know how to be frugal. But now, I yearn for frugality in the midst of waste all day long.

6. You ask me, where is happiness? I tell you, you can get closer to happiness by standing on tiptoes, and you can feel happiness by closing your eyes?

7. If you blink your eyes, I will die. If you blink again, I will come to life. If your eyes keep blinking, I will come back to life!

8 . Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua went to the zoo to play. When they entered, Xiao Ming pointed at Xiao Hua and said to the gatekeeper: "Look carefully! When you come out later, don't say that I stole your monkey!"

9 . No matter how high a woman stands, squatting down can only wet the ground under her feet; if a man is great, he can stand higher and urinate farther!

10. Master, just follow my old father! It’s been a long time. After a long time? Master, please spare me!

11. The female bird burst into tears, and the male bird said angrily: How many times have I told you, this ring is for bird research The person at the station put it on me, not a wedding ring! I’m not married yet!

12. During a military parade of a certain unit, the chief walked by with his head held high, "How are you, comrades? How are you, chief? Comrades, thank you for your hard work? Why?" People's Service? Comrades are tanned? Chiefs are even tanned?

13. Someone met a friend on the street. When he first asked about his friend's wife, he suddenly remembered that she had passed away, so he changed his words: "She is still in the original cemetery, right?"

14. A certain man's wife often went out with red apricots. Wall, but turned a blind eye, a colleague sent a pair of couplets, the first couplet: As long as life goes by, the second couplet: Even if the head is a little green, the horizontal line: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

15. Two little birds saw a hunter aiming at them. One said, you protect the scene and I will call the police!

16. You look very creative and alive. It's your courage; being ugly is not your original intention, it's just God losing his temper; you have to live bravely, without you? Who will set off the beauty of the donkey!

17. Three in the forest The animals are chatting. Xiaozhu said: Nicknames are popular nowadays, from now on you will call me Xiaozhuzhu. Little Rabbit: Okay, then I’ll call you Little Rabbit. The little chicken looked unhappy: I have something else to do, so I’ll leave first.

18. My dream life: sleeping until I wake up naturally, counting money until my hands cramp.

My real life: counting money until I wake up naturally, sleeping until my hands cramp?

19. Being single is painful, and being single for a long time is even more painful. I saw a sow a few days ago, and I thought it was pretty and beautiful. ?

20. Some people’s love is pornographic films, some are third-level films, some are comedies, and some are literary and artistic films; I am the worst, my love process is literary and artistic films, comedy, and third-level films. A movie, a suspense action movie, and finally a KB (horror) movie. What’s even more annoying is that there are fucking commercials?

21. Menstruation is not only a pain for women, but also a pain for men.

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22. Men are all lustful. Those with a slightly stronger lust are called perverts, those with stronger lusts are called perverts, and those with stronger lusts are called perverts. If they are particularly strong, they become perverted perverts. Those who are lustful to the extreme are called perverts. Anthropology artist.

23. There are two types of men, one is lustful and the other is very lustful; there are also two types of women, one is pretending to be pure and the other is pretending to be impure.

　24. I like to leave my life to fate: I will flip a coin when I wake up in the morning. If it comes up heads, I will continue to sleep; if it comes up tails, I will lie in bed and watch TV. If the coin sticks up after it hits the ground, I will get up and clean up the house.

25. Is it cruel for female mantises to eat male mantises after mating? But some women swallow countless offspring during mating?

26. Chastity varies from person to person. , for example, people will praise a girl for being a virgin, but they will also laugh at a boy for being a virgin.

27. After we separated for a long time, I looked at your blushing cheeks and asked you softly, do you feel happy? You lowered your head gently and replied in a sweet voice: You ate garlic today. .

28. What is cruelty? If it’s a man, I’ll break his three legs; if it’s a male dog, I’ll break his five legs!

29. You behave violently in the theater You occupied four positions while lying down. When someone asked you to get up, you just hummed twice and didn't move. The security guard came and said: "That's cruel, brother, which road was it on?" You gritted your teeth and said: "I fell down from the upstairs aisle!"

30. Girls care about happiness in the second half of their lives, boys focus on Is it the happiness of the lower body?

31. My wife and I haven’t spoken for a month, and I have no chance to interrupt her.

32. Clerk: Miss, these ten hundred-dollar bills are all fake. Pretty girl: Ah!? I’ve been raped!

33. I can’t speak. I stutter when there are many people, like a sheep shitting. It’s not to everyone’s taste. I hope you can bear with me.

34. Why are you so ignorant? Your uncle is here, why do you still think of going to the zoo to see bears?

35. For men, ?godsister? That is - you can attack when you advance, and you can defend when you retreat. It is suitable for both giving as a gift and for personal use.

36. Note to robbers: Our bank staff only understand Spanish. Please be patient when robbing. It is best to bring a translator with you. Thank you!

37. Brutal People - If you have nothing to do, find someone to kill you. Romantic people - find a beautiful woman to sleep with if you have nothing to do. Rich people - buy a new car and drive it. I--I have nothing to do to pick up a cigarette butt and smoke it?

38. Blind date is called "distribution", love is called "direct selling", and throwing hydrangeas to attract brides is called "bidding".

39. I am quite forgetful, so my wife often tells me not to pull out an umbrella when I go out to do errands on rainy days, so I already have ten umbrellas at home.

40. I have done a lot of stupid things, but I don't care. My friends call it "confidence".

2017 Funny Goosebumps Selection Selection

1. Tourist: Master, is that thatched house over there a toilet? Monk: Except for that thatched house, the rest of the places are It's a toilet.

2. Driving on the road is not difficult, except for the newcomers?!

Those who work in public institutions are called "iron rice bowls", and those who work in private companies are called "iron rice bowls". ?Disposable dishes?.

3. My principle is: I will not offend others unless they offend me; if someone offends me, I will get angry!

4. In love, some people regard death as a homecoming; In marriage, some people regard marriage as if it were death.

5. The tragedy of life is that after a night of hard work and beautiful dreams, you wake up the next morning and can’t remember them all!

6. Officialdom The experience of rolling around - A person knows flattery from a distance, but it turns out to be disgusting with people over time. Quotations from a friend at Sanxia Online over wine.

7. After dinner, I was smoking and enjoying on the balcony. Suddenly I saw a light spot flashing across the night sky. I was excited: Shooting star! So I immediately made a wish? I made six or seven wishes and opened my eyes. , I had finished my cigarette and threw it out of the balcony. Suddenly I heard the voice of a girl downstairs: Wow! Shooting star! Make a wish now

8. ?Those who respect others will always respect them? Today, this virtue can only be seen during banquets.

9. Yesterday I signed up for a weight loss training class. They asked me to wear loose clothes during training. How is that reasonable? If there are loose clothes, then why should I sign up?

10. Menstrual blood is the uterus crying for loneliness, and wet dreams are the seminal vesicles crying for suppression. Menstruation occurs once a month, but nocturnal emissions are irregular. This shows that a man does not shed tears easily?

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