Joke-telling skill

I think of Yang Guo on the first day of high school.

That morning, I went to eat cold noodles with melon seeds for breakfast. The cold noodles of melon seeds are just across the road from the school gate. The noodle stand is run by a middle-aged couple. This man is dumb, which is what we call melon seeds here.

Men are mainly responsible for cooking, and women are responsible for receiving orders and collecting money. There are no shops, no tables and chairs, and people who eat cold noodles can only sit on the small benches around the noodle stalls.

I was absorbed in sucking noodles, and a bright voice caught my attention: "Boss, a bowl of cold noodles, with polysaccharide and vinegar, not oil peppers!" "

How can Chili eat cold noodles without oil? I couldn't help looking back. It was a chubby girl with an oval face and dark skin. All her hair was behind her head, tied in a ponytail, revealing a shiny forehead.

After eating cold noodles, I saw her as soon as I stepped into the classroom. She played with some boys in the back row and gave an exaggerated and somewhat rude laugh.

When she came on stage to introduce herself, she fought back a smile and said, "Hello, my name is Yang Guo. I'm fifteen years old, and I like ... "

Before the words were finished, she burst out laughing uncontrollably. Her laughter made no sense, and everyone felt puzzled, but it was very infectious. Soon the whole class laughed, even the head teacher narrowed his eyes and waved her down.

I didn't laugh. I thought she was grandstanding.

After introducing myself, the class teacher began to arrange seats, and Yang Guo and I became deskmates. At that time, my family was poor and I entered this high school only after paying the school selection fee, so my mother repeatedly told me that I must study hard.

I thought that Yang Guo's careless personality would affect my study, so I asked the head teacher to change my seat, and he refused me without looking up.

Yang Guo gets along well with all her classmates, but she seldom talks to me, even though we are deskmates. Maybe Yang Guo also noticed that I hated her.

Our first communication came from a night of power failure. When the power went out in the middle of the evening self-study, the teacher lit some candles to let us continue our self-study. The noisy voices and flickering candlelight make me uneasy, and I can't write a word when I look at the exercises in my notebook.

At this moment, Yang Guo's signature laughter came from the side, and I couldn't help turning her with my elbow: "What's so funny?"

Yang Guo said, "Just now Xu Zuolong told me a joke, which was ridiculous."

I said to her, "Then tell me about it." Yang Guo told me off and on, but I was expressionless from beginning to end.

I said, "Does this make you laugh? I'll tell you one. "

As I expected, Yang Guo laughed exaggeratedly and told other people my joke. They all laughed their heads off.

Looking at their reaction, I was superficial, but my heart was extremely inflated, and my long-lost satisfaction came back.

From then on, Yang Guo pestered me to tell jokes whenever he was free, and spread them to the whole class on his own initiative. Everyone gradually found that I, an ordinary person, seemed to have a bright spot.

two

Yang Guo is fat, but he seems to be afraid of the cold. There are as many wool hats, plush gloves and snow boots in winter, and he can't wait to pick up hot water twice in ten minutes between classes.

I am naturally weak, my hands and feet are cold, because I am used to the cold, but I don't have such a big demand for warmth.

Over time, students began to be dissatisfied with Yang Guo's frequent water reception, especially monkeys, who often sneered at Yang Guo.

The monkey is of medium height, but thin, with a horse face and sunken eyes, and looks like a drug addict. I like to wear a khaki cotton-padded coat in winter, which looks like a furry monkey from a distance.

One day in class, Yang Guo and the monkey suddenly had an argument. The monkey gave Yang Guo a push and poured hot water from the glass bottle on him. Yang Guo screamed and squatted down to cry. Other students quickly pulled the monkey away.

My seat is in the front row of the classroom by the window. I had the opportunity to stop them in time, but I didn't have the courage to move forward. The monkey is one of the few students who play well in my class. Even if I stop it, I don't know who to pull.

Yang Huan helped Yang Guo to his seat and cried at his desk for a class. In that class, I pretended to be trying to write. In fact, I always wanted to comfort Yang Guo.

I brewed the mood of the whole class. Seeing her burying her head in the second class, I finally said the first sentence: "Don't cry, I'll tell you a joke."

In fact, I don't know if she is crying, but I just blurted it out.

Halfway through the joke, Yang Guo giggled, his head still buried in his arms, and his shoulders shrugged. But it wasn't until I finished my speech that Yang Guo showed less than half his face.

Her forehead has formed a red mark on her arm because of long-term oppression, and her eyes are red. Her eyes are a little swollen. After crying, she looks like a goldfish with swollen eyes.

Yang Guo asked me in a low voice, "That monkey just hit me. Why don't you help me? "

I said, "You just pushed it a few times. I thought you were joking. "

Yang Guo said: "The monkey is not a person, it is too stingy!" " "

I said, "Even if you don't cry, I'll tell you a few more jokes."

Yang Guo leaned over to my side and continued to bury her head in his arms, revealing only his forehead and eyes. I leaned over to her ear.

That night, no teacher came to study. Yang Guo gave me a glove for fear of catching cold, and put a hot water bottle stopper in the other hand. I think: I can comfort her blatantly next time.

three

After getting familiar with it, Yang Guo will bring me a copy every time he goes out to eat. After several times, I took the trouble and offered to go with her.

The places we go most are cold noodles and melon seeds. Yang Guo always said, "Don't use polysaccharide and vinegar pepper."

I asked Yang Guo, "Why don't you oil the red pepper?"

Yang Guo said, "I have a bad stomach, so I should avoid eating."

"Then why do you want more sugar and vinegar?"

She thought about it, lowered her head and said, "Chili is tasteless without oil, so I can only add more sugar and vinegar." Delicious, do you want to have a taste? "

I don't like being jealous all the time, but I still tasted the cold noodles in her bowl, which was really delicious. In the future, whenever I eat cold noodles with Yang Guo, I will say, "Don't use polysaccharides and vinegar-oil peppers."

Eating cold noodles is my proposal and the most proposed.

Yang Guo asked me, "Why do you always eat cold noodles?"

I said, "Because it's cheap, you can eat burps for five dollars."

Yang Guo said, "I have money. I will treat you to a good meal. "

I know Yang Guo is rich. Several times, I saw her father pick her up at the school gate. This car is very upscale. The monkey said it was a Porsche. I don't know what a Porsche is, but just look at the tires of that car and I know it's different from other cars.

I said, "Do I need you to invite a man?"

Guo Yangwei squinting, made a look of unbearable. I said, "Besides, I am an elegant and moral person. How can I eat my own food?"

Yang Guo said, "Well, we'll treat you to dinner, you treat me to dinner, and I'll treat you to dinner."

I agreed to this plan, but Yang Guo always invited me to dinner with a rice cover or a set of rice. When it was my turn to invite me, it was cheap cold noodles. I knew she was covering for me.

four

Before long, the class began to spread rumors about me and Yang Guo.

After class on Friday afternoon, Yang Guo and I came back from dinner and saw the names of Yang Guo and me written on the blackboard and a love box painted outside.

Several boys saw us coming into the classroom together and clapped their hands and whistled excitedly, as if they had found something ambiguous. I heard someone say, "Look, I told you they were a couple."

My face turned red at once and I hurried to the podium to clean the blackboard. AARON Li, a sports member, is drinking water. He said jokingly, "I said, you have been pulling a marriage certificate for a long time."

I didn't provoke him. The monkey sitting on the left side of the platform said, "Ouyang, pay attention to the influence in the future." Don't always kiss at night self-study After all, it is a classroom. "

I threw the blackboard brush on the monkey table and said, "Fuck you! I kissed your mother! "

The monkey stood up on striking the table and said, "Why don't you kiss with your heads so close?" ! Have dinner together after class and eat in a bowl! "

I pointed at the monkey's nose and scolded him. The monkey came to the platform panting. I guess he wanted to fight, so he took a step towards him.

The monkey came up to me and got scared. He knows this is no match for me. He puffed his eyes and said, "Just chew it, many students in the class saw it!" " "

The monkey pointed at me and said to AARON Li, "Look at his face, like a monkey farting!" AARON Li beside hee hee with a smile.

I am most afraid that others will make fun of my body, and I can't wait to tear my face at this time. I pretended to be cruel and said, "You wait!"

I stormed out of the classroom, and the cold wind outside hit my face. I suddenly woke up. At this time, I saw the head teacher enter the office, so I went in and said to the head teacher, "I want to change my seat!" "

The class teacher may also think that I am unusual today, so he lowered his head and asked, "Why?"

"Someone in the class is talking nonsense."

"Say what?"

"Said I was playing a friend game with Yang Guo."

The head teacher looked up at me and asked, "Are you kidding?"

"Of course not!"

"Then what are you afraid of? You focus on your studies all day and think nothing. "

I wanted the head teacher to make a decision for me, but I was scolded. When I walked out of the office, the more I thought about it, the more angry I became, and I wanted to slap myself.

five

Back in my seat, I deliberately knocked the tables and chairs loudly. Yang Guo handed a note: Don't be angry.

I ignored her and took out the paper to do the problem. I was still thinking about the scene when I was doing the problem. I felt really humiliated, angry and ashamed, and I involuntarily increased my strength and wrote the paper again.

After a while, Yang Guo leaned over and asked me, pointing to a math exercise. I gave a few rude perfunctory words and ignored her.

Yang Guo saw that I hadn't calmed down and took the book back without saying anything. A few minutes later, he leaned over and said, "I still don't understand." Please tell me again. "

I said, "Do you have no IQ? Are you a pig? "

Yang Guo pursed her lips and pretended to be poor, ready to approach what I said. I dragged the chair back hard, and the legs of the chair rubbed against the ground and made a harsh creaking sound. I said loudly, "hey, don't lean over, you shameless!" "

The whole class is quiet, and everyone seems to be watching us. Yang Guo was angry, too, and her voice trembled and said, "Ouyang, what do you mean?"

I didn't speak, just buried my head in the question. The class started to make trouble again, and I heard someone behind me saying, "What's the matter?"

"The couple quarreled at the end of the bed."

I glanced at Yang Guo, who seemed to be crying with her head buried. I began to regret in my heart and bent down to comfort Yang Guo, but when I spoke, my voice became cold and serious. I said, "Yang Guo, please talk to the class teacher and transfer us away."

Yang Guo turned away, revealing half his face, and said angrily, "Why didn't you say something?"

I said, "I told you, but he wouldn't listen. You are a girl, and he will definitely listen to you. "

Yang Guo was silent for two seconds and said slowly, "Ouyang, you have gone too far!" "

I don't know what to say. After a while, Yang Guo handed over another note: "I will tell the class teacher about the transfer."

Looking at that little note, I have mixed feelings, both relieved and guilty.

Fortunately, I have a holiday after Friday, so I don't have to see Yang Guo right away, but these two days feel like years.

I get hysterical at the thought of what I did to Yang Guo on Friday night. I rehearsed all kinds of apology scenes in my mind, thinking that maybe Yang Guo changed his position on Sunday night and didn't have a chance to apologize.

On Sunday night, I walked into the classroom on purpose. I want to wait for Yang Guo to change his position before going in, so we won't meet again.

But I see Yang Guo hasn't moved away. She buried her head in her homework. When I squeezed in from behind her chair, I whispered, "Give me a hand."

Yang Guo didn't speak, just moved his chair forward.

Yang Guo is rummaging about in her desk. She is wearing a thick white down jacket and a wool hat, like a bear.

Probably wearing too much, she leaned down and laboriously handed a bowl of cold noodles and said, "You must have missed dinner."

I quickly took the cold noodles, flattered, and tried to please her: "Is my favorite pepper free of oily polysaccharides and vinegar?"

Yang Guo ignored me and took out another bottle of drink: "And your favorite fruit orange."

I took the drink and said cautiously, "I'm sorry."

Yang Guo turned around and said softly, "Hmm."

six

Gossip about me and Yang Guo is still circulating in the class. Yang Guo and I ignored it, and the rumors gradually disappeared.

The weather is getting warmer. One afternoon, Yang Guo was lying on the table, clutching his stomach. I asked her what was wrong. She said she had her period, dysmenorrhea.

I told her not to eat. I'll get her a hot drink. But when I came back, Yang Guo had already asked for leave to go home.

The next day, Yang Guo still didn't come to class. I'm sure Yang Guo doesn't want to go to class to make excuses for dysmenorrhea. Yang Guo didn't come to class for a week in a row. One night, I saw Yang Huan packing Yang Guo's textbooks and said that he would help Yang Guo take them back.

I know that Yang Huan and Yang Guo are neighbors, so I asked Yang Huan what happened to Yang Guo. Yang Huan said that Yang Guo was ill and went to the city for treatment. I asked what disease? Is it serious? Yang Huan lowered his head and whispered, "It seems to be cancer."

I know that cancer is fatal and controllable. I asked, "What kind of cancer is this?"

Yang Huan said, "I heard my dad say it was rectal cancer."

For the first time, I thought that rectal cancer should be very serious, because once the organs in the stomach got cancer, there was no cure. I didn't say anything. I helped Yang Huan clear the table.

In June, Yang Guo was transferred to the county hospital, and our classmates organized a visit to her on Saturday. It was already very hot at that time. I was wearing a pink striped shirt, which my mother bought for me. I think it is very handsome. I have to show it to Yang Guo.

I also bought a fruit basket for Yang Guo. At the top of the fruit basket is a grapefruit, but it is as small as an orange. Yang Guo will laugh when he sees it.

In the ward, only Yang Guo's mother and grandmother endured fatigue and sadness while warmly welcoming us. Several female students were sitting next to Yang Guo and talking to her. I stood behind and watched her secretly.

She was wearing a hospital gown, with short hair shoulder-length and bangs covering her forehead. The new hairstyle suits her very well. I was shaking all over, grabbing my wrist desperately to stabilize my mood. I didn't say a word to Yang Guo until everyone left.

When we left, Yang Huan asked Yang Guo's mother and grandmother to give us a ride and said that she would talk to them.

Yang Guo's mother and grandmother sent us downstairs to the lobby. Several girls comforted them. Yang Guo's grandmother took out a tissue to wipe her tears.

Monkey, AARON Li and the others took me aside and said, "Let's stall Yang Guo's mother. You go up and talk to Yang Guo. "

"Go and tell Yang Guo more."

"Yang Guo definitely wants to talk to you."

I hurried to the ward, which is on the third floor. I ran to the third floor without taking the elevator. I didn't feel tired at all when I entered the ward.

Yang Guo smiled at me when he saw me come in.

I sat next to Yang Guo and said to him, "Yang Guo, you must get well as soon as possible. Let's eat cold noodles together, and I'll give you a lecture. "

Yang Guo nodded at me, and I took out the grapefruit in the fruit basket and said, "Guess what this is?"

Yang Guo said, "This is an orange."

I said, "It's grapefruit. You can't believe it. Where can there be such a small grapefruit? Whether you eat grapefruit or not, I will peel it for you. "

Yang Guo didn't laugh, shook his head and said, "I don't want to eat, I can't eat."

Yang Guo's neck twitched when she shook her head. She is so thin that she sticks to the bone like a piece of skin.

I said, "Yang Guo, your hairstyle is really beautiful."

Yang Guo smiled and looked even weaker. She said, "My aunt cut it for me."

I said, "Yang Guo, you've lost weight. Losing weight is beautiful. "

Yang Guo said, "Well, I always say that I have lost weight. It must be Ban Hua. You don't believe me. "

I said, "But I still like the way you look fat." When I said this, I felt tears coming out. I took a deep breath and held back my tears.

I still want to talk, but my voice has begun to choke. I pretended to cough to get my voice back to normal: "Yang Guo, in fact, I have always liked you. Would you like to be my girlfriend? "

Yang Guo smiled again: "How can you like me? Are you saying this because you see my pity? "

I quickly said, "no, no, I didn't realize you were a great beauty until you lost weight." I have always liked beautiful women, you know. "

Yang Guo said, "Then you should lose weight. I'll think about it when you slim down and become a handsome guy. "

I nodded: "OK, I will exercise, do push-ups, squat, run and play basketball every day."

Yang Guo stretched out a hand to hold me. Her hands are thin, but warm. The bones on my wrist were exaggerated and abrupt, and my palm caught her hand in turn.

Yang Huan told me that Yang Guo died at the end of June.

I haven't had dinner since Yang Guo left. I went to eat cold noodles alone that afternoon. The proprietress with cold melon seeds recognized me. Before I could speak, she asked, "Two bowls of cold noodles, sweet and sour without oil, Chili, right?"

I wanted to say no, but I choked in my throat and couldn't say anything.

Title from: pexels