A joke in one sentence is hilarious.

I bought a new dress today, the green one with a hat. I was walking on the road and heard two sisters talking behind me. That idiot is wearing a green hat. ? In fact, I am very happy in my heart, as if I had a wife. Don't expect to lose weight, Bajie hasn't lost weight after walking 108 thousand miles, and besides, he is a vegetarian! We were all happy when we were young, because at that time, we were ugly and poor. The expert said that varicose veins are easy to get in the late stage, so I sat down. Experts say that sitting is easy to cause lumbar disc herniation, so I will lie down. Experts say that lying down is easy to get cervical spondylosis. 5. My emotions can be roughly divided into four categories; Eat too much, sleep too much, think too much and spend too much. 6. I always talk nonsense when people ask for directions, just to make them remember it longer. The more beautiful a woman is, the more deceitful she will be! 7. Three elements of success: first, persistence; The second is shameless; The third is to persist in shameless. Did you do it? 10 Find the right person, be romantic all your life, find the wrong person, and talk about swords all your life! 8. Ancient times are really good. Take too much, and you will become a demon, a god, a demon! In modern times, if you suffer too much, you will become a psychopath, a madman and a fool. 9. Winter is coming. If I don't reply to your message, it must not be because I am cold, but because my hands are cold. 10. Taobao bought an underwear, and the shoulder strap broke just after wearing it for one day, and communicated with the store angrily. The shopkeeper replied, Are your breasts too big? Forget it, take five-star reviews! 1 1. Many young people feel that the whole world has abandoned themselves when they are lovelorn. Don't be silly, the world doesn't need you at all. 12. Every time someone gives me a red envelope during the Chinese New Year, I have to push it around. In fact, I'm really afraid of being pushed away. 13. Why did you remind me? Money is not everything? ? I'm not that greedy. I just want money, but I don't expect it to do everything. 14. I took my daughter to the children's playground and met my first boyfriend. He also took his son to the children's playground. Because I haven't seen you for many years, there is no topic, and the atmosphere was once very embarrassing, so my first boyfriend took the lead in breaking the embarrassment. I heard you told people everywhere that I was dead? ? 15. My wife always warns me not to find a lover by crying, making trouble and hanging herself, which makes me very angry because she never makes a third move. 16. The woman went to the temple to beg for a visa and asked the master: How much is the cancellation of master's visa? ? Master:? We monks don't talk about money, only about fate. ? Woman:? What fate? ? Master:? 100 yuan! ? . 17. Men's clothes are few, mostly for these reasons: shopping malls are too expensive to buy; The shop is too expensive to cut down; Stalls are cheap and disdainful; No girlfriend. 18. When you are young, don't despair because you have no money, because you know, there are still many days without money. 19. Four major sorrows in life: a long drought meets sweet rain, only one drop; Meet an old friend in another country and touch the creditor; Wedding night, next door; I was dreaming when I wanted to be the first. 20. I was really happy when I was young. Nobody cares that you are poor, and you don't know that you are ugly. You have no money and no partner, but you are still happy every day. 2 1. If you eat less than one meal every day, you can save a lot of money over time, which can be used to treat stomach problems in the future. 22. In the past, the mail of horses and chariots was very slow, and I only loved one person in my life. Now the network technology is developed, and 50 people can be green in one day. From today on, as long as they are my friends, anyone who has no money will reply to me, and I can tell you how I live without money. 24. When I went to the barber's, the barber tied a scarf on me, looked at me and praised me, saying that beautiful women have big eyes! I said: Brother, if you tighten up a little, I can still stick out my tongue. 25. I grow so well, first of all, I want to thank my parents. If they didn't give me a pair of hard-working hands, could I make myself look so beautiful? 26. My monthly salary is 2000 yuan now, and I feel that I have reached the peak of my life. I'm still single, but I dare not. 27. You will never understand the pain of myopia? Six parents deny it 20 meters away, men and women deny it 50 meters away, and people and animals deny it 100 meters away. Our world is pure and beautiful. We're not too cold, just a little fuzzy? It's a little fuzzy. A person suddenly contacted you. Usually, he is looking for a spare tire. It's normal to suddenly stop contacting you. You are just a spare tire. I contacted you again one day, which is quite normal. You are a good spare tire. Then I stopped contacting you. It's still normal. There is a better spare tire than you. 29. I heard that my ex-girlfriend was not doing well, so I sat at the door all day and had a good time. 30. I spat on the plane today, and several foreigners looked at me. What did I say in order not to lose face? Eight horns? ! 3 1. Other people's property exceeds 100 million, billions, and billions in their twenties. I'm only 5 million, still pixel! 32. I always say that my mouth is shut. How do you know if it is soft if you don't kiss it? 33. I know this is a world of looking at faces. I had plastic surgery with school money. 34. When I was a child, I was called a turtle grandson by my grandmother, a rabbit by my mother, and single dog by others when I grew up. My life is an animal history. 35. Seriously warn my mother again that we young people are only nominal years old, so please don't lie about my age to friends and relatives. 36. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when you have a parent-teacher conference, your mother-in-law is in front of you, but you can only call your aunt. 37. Girls nowadays are really interesting. Watching a movie with a boy shows off in a circle of friends. Have classes with more than twenty men at the same time. Did I say anything? In the past, as long as the feelings were true, age was not a problem. Now as long as the feelings are true, gender is not a problem. 39. Commitment is like farting. It was earth-shattering, and then it was pale and powerless. Fortunately, I am ugly and have never experienced your love and hate. 40. Usually go to school to drive a Land Rover, go out to play with a Bentley and drive a Ferrari. But you asked me what kind of car I like best, and I like joking best. 4 1. The highest level of eating buffet is: help the wall to go in and then help the wall to come out. 42.？ How to describe a beautiful woman? ? Putting you in ancient times can support a brothel. ?