Quiet classic and funny jokes, thank you very much, speed!

One day an elephant was taking a bath. Suddenly an ant came over and said to the elephant. You stand up. The elephant stood up. Ant! Just sit down. The elephant asked the ant what he wanted to do. Sometimes he stands up and sometimes he sits down. Ant replied! I lost my underwear. Let me see if you wore it.

4. There were three tadpoles. They went to a restaurant to eat... After waiting for a while, the first dish was served... It was fried frogs... The three tadpoles sang in unison: I I don’t want to, I don’t want to grow up...

5. The hen complained to the bull: "Humans ask me to lay more eggs, but I plan to have children. This is so unfair!" The old bull said: "You What the hell? People all over the world drink my wife’s milk, so who the hell calls me daddy?”

6. The car married the train, but they got divorced soon. Everyone asked why, and Qi Qi said sadly: "He worries about me getting hit every day, and I am always afraid that he will cheat on me. I can't stand it!"

7. A hen was comfortably incubating an egg. Suddenly, an egg popped out from under its buttocks. The hen asked in surprise: "What's going on? Why did you run out?" Little Dandan said: "You... ....You......................you farted!"

8. The dog was crying in the garden, and the cat asked Why is it so sad? The dog said: "Archaeologists found a large number of biological bones in the owner's garden, saying they may have been left by prehistoric creatures!" Cat: "What does this have to do with you? Why are you so sad?" Dog Cried: "Those are my private money!"

9. The young couple had a fight and threw a pillow downstairs. A beggar happened to be passing by. He was very happy, and then flew off the quilt. , the beggar was ecstatic, wiped his tears and shouted upstairs: Brother upstairs, please do a good job and throw that woman down too.

If you want to see more jokes, go to Cold Joke Xuemi Street

10. One day when a green apple was out shopping, he suddenly saw a red apple. Said: "You have a crush on me, otherwise why would you be blushing..."

11. One day, I saw a black poop and a white poop,

Black poop Question: Why are you so white and beautiful?

Bai Shi was very angry after hearing this!

He said: I am not a poop! I am ice cream!!!

12. Two dumplings got married and had a wedding night. After seeing off the guests, the male dumpling returned to the house and suddenly found a meatball on the bed, but the female dumpling was missing.

He was so panicked that he quickly shouted: "Where is my bride?"

Meatball said angrily: "It's annoying, you don't recognize her when she takes off her clothes." ? !

13.

Every time my wife and husband quarrel, the wife goes to the bathroom and stays there for a long time. If this happens often, the husband will ask his wife curiously: "Where are you?" What's the toilet for? Seems quite relieved? My wife said, "Brush the toilet!" My husband asked: "Can cleaning the toilet relieve anger?" The wife said: "I don't know, anyway, I use your toothbrush." "

14. Dayong was on a business trip and suddenly came home. He heard the sound of a man snoring at the door.

Dayong walked away silently and sent a text message to his wife: " Get a divorce! "

Then he threw away the mobile phone card and left for a foreign country.

Three years later they met again in a city, and the wife asked: "Why did you leave without saying goodbye? ”

Dayong told the situation at that time, and his wife turned and left, saying lightly: “That’s Ruixing’s little lion”

15. Meeting the class beauty whom I haven’t seen for many years on the street , she asked me what I have been busy with recently. I answered truthfully: I have been very busy these past two days. I placed an order with PetroChina yesterday, signed a contract with China Telecom today, and will discuss a three-way cooperation plan with China Unicom and Apple tomorrow.

My wife kicked me from behind and yelled: "Put on gas, install a broadband, buy a mobile phone, what are you going to do?" ...What's the matter? ...what

16.. The eldest brother has a very heavy automatic rifle at home. Whenever his sister-in-law loses her temper, the eldest brother always goes to the side to clean the rifle without saying a word. The sister-in-law turned pale with fear, and the civil war was over before it even started. I couldn't help but ask my elder brother: "Are you afraid that you will kill her?" My elder brother was very proud and said: "No, she is afraid that I will commit suicide."

17. On the plane, the crow said to the flight attendant: Give it to me Come on, get a glass of water. After hearing this, the pig said to the stewardess, "Here you go, give me a glass of water too!" After hearing this, the stewardess threw the crow and the pig out of the plane together. The crow smiled and said to the pig, "You are stupid, I can fly~~ ~~

18. A hunter went hunting with his hunting dog. He wandered in the woods for a whole day but found no prey.

It was getting dark, but he was unwilling to keep riding in the woods.

The horse suddenly said: 'You don't even let me rest, you want to exhaust me to death! ? '

The hunter was startled when he heard it. He immediately rolled off his horse, pulled the hunting dog and ran away.

When he ran to a big tree to catch his breath,

The dog patted his chest and said to him: "I'm scared to death. Horses can actually talk!" So the hunter was frightened to death on the spot...

19. The host asked: Can cats talk? Climb a tree? Eagle's quick answer: Yes! Moderator: Give an example! The eagle was in tears: That year, when I was asleep, the cat climbed up the tree...and then there were owls...

20. A puppy climbed up on the dining table and rubbed against a roast chicken. The owner He said angrily: "Whatever you dare to do to that roast chicken, I will do to you."

As a result, the puppy licked the chicken’s butt. The owner fainted. The puppy said happily: Let’s see who is cruel among the demos!

21. After the company got off work, several computers gathered together to play Landlord, and they also played at the water fountain. He loses every time but still insists on participating every day.

Sofa was very confused and asked the chair: Why are you still fighting so hard when the water dispenser loses every day? The chair said, "Asking this kind of question, is your brain flooded?

If you want to see jokes, go to Lengjie Xuemi Street. There are many funny ones.