A selection of humorous jokes that make people laugh.

It's hard not to laugh at jokes. Here, I bring you a series of humorous jokes that you have to laugh at. I hope you will like them.

A selection of humorous jokes makes you laugh.

1

My son cheated in the exam and was reported by his classmates. The teacher called his parents.

When dad got to school, he gave his son two slaps.

Teacher: "I understand your feelings, but hitting won't solve the problem."

Dad: "can I not worry?" I didn't expect this boy to be so unpopular at school! "

Teacher: "What is the relationship between cheating and popularity?"

Dad: "The popularity is good, and the classmates will report him?"

2

One day, there were too many people on the bus, which was hot and stuffy. I don't know who farted, which made the environment worse. My friend can't stand it, and I don't know who it is. I can't help it It happened that the conductor was asking, "Who didn't buy a ticket?" My friend suddenly had a plan and said loudly, "Fart didn't buy a ticket!" " Suddenly, a particularly fat woman, holding the ticket high in her hand, said loudly, "I have bought the ticket!" "

three

Bicycles in school are lost seriously, and the new ones disappear in the blink of an eye, but sometimes with luck, the lost bicycles will reappear every few days. One day, my roommate Xiao Jing bought a new transmission car. She showed off to everyone and said, "I locked this car with the latest lock!" " The next day, Xiao Jing came back from self-study at night and looked depressed. He still holds a piece of paper in his hand, which reads: Don't be the owner here, I borrowed the car, and I'll pay you back in a few days!

A few days later, the thief really returned the car. Xiao Jing is very happy, but she is worried that the car will be "borrowed" again. He bought ten big locks, locked the car tightly, and put a note on the thief: See how you "borrow"! When Xiao Jing went downstairs the next morning, she found five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: See how you ride!

four

It's crowded to go to work by subway in the morning! There is a very lovely girl next to her. Kawaii is texting. I accidentally took a look and found that she wrote, "There are many people on the bus today, which is very crowded." After a while, I remembered something and laughed to myself. I inadvertently looked back for a while and saw the girl continue to write, "There is still an SB standing next to me."

five

Once in class, a classmate was very hungry and made instant noodles. In order not to let the teacher find out, he put away the book and buried his head, but the heat still came out. The teacher said calmly, "Who is this classmate and who is obsessed with reading?"

six

One night in the middle of the night, I was awakened by a knock at the door. My sister who slept next to me kicked me and said, "Go and see who it is!" " "

I looked blank: "How can someone knock at the door at this time? Is it a bad person? "

Sister quickly said: "Don't scare me! I am afraid! "

I looked at her and almost cried: "Don't scare me!" ! I've been single for more than 20 years. Where the fuck did you come from? "

seven

Mother said to shota, "Do you know why no girl likes you?"

Zheng Tai: "Why?"

Mom: "Because girls like warm men now."

Zheng Tai, "How can I be a warm man?"

Mom: "Come on, put on these long pants first."

eight

Call my best friend: "I'm pregnant, can you lend me 1000 for emergency?"

My best friend replied, "Sorry, my husband is in charge, and I put all my salary there."

I hung up the phone and slapped the man beside the bed when I hit back: "Dare to lie to me and say that you have no money! Your wife said that her salary is in your place! "

Those things at home, look at mom's cold humor

1, stayed at home for a day at the weekend. My mother came back and saw me kneeling at the end of the bed without eating, so she made me a bowl of noodles. Seeing that I didn't mean to answer the phone, she squatted down and put it on the ground, then touched my head and said, "Come on, eat."

I smiled and said, "Mom, you are feeding the dog. I am not a dog. "

The mother who walked to the door turned around and smiled bitterly: "Who said you weren't? Single dog! "

2. Husband doesn't like to talk, and brother-in-law talks a lot, so what to say and what not to say.

But they are both very nice and care more about my parents than my sister and me. My mother said that both of them are very nice, that is, one speaks like constipation and the other like diarrhea. . . It's so vivid ! !

I quarreled with my wife, and she went back to her mother's house in a rage. I quickly went to my mother-in-law with a gift: "She rarely comes back once, so please stay with her for a few more days!" "

My mother-in-law gave me a white look: "If I can stand her, I will marry her to you! ? "

My mother always talks to me very grumpy. I said, mom, can you be gentle? If I study like you in the future, can I still get married?

My mother said: whether you can get married or not is your skill. I'm married anyway.

5. Mom called me: Bao Er, how much do you earn this year?

Me: Don't spend money in Qian Qian all day. I said you should care about my girlfriend!

Mom: Did you talk about girlfriends?

Me: No!

Mom: I didn't say girlfriend. I didn't ask how much you earn.

I can't refute it. . .

6, the martial arts in the world, only fast and unbreakable, the real master is to judge the opponent's intention at the moment when the opponent is about to shoot, and then kill the opponent invisibly.

Let me give you the simplest example, such as: mom, I think. . .

Mom: No money. . .

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