I like you like a wild goose passing without a trace or a leaf falling silently

When Yanzi called me, I was walking towards the dormitory building. It rains all the time in Hefei recently, and the pitter-patter is annoying. Finally, I have someone to complain about, so I naturally talk enthusiastically. , but the Yanzi on the other end of the phone was a rare low-pressure person.

"He is in love."

My heart skipped a beat, and even my voice became cautious when I spoke.

I asked her, are you okay? But what I responded to was a burst of crying.

It has been four years since the last time Yanzi cried. She is not a girl who loves to cry, but she cried again and again because of him.

He is Lin Mu, Yanzi’s first love.

I don’t know how Yanzi fell in love with Lin Mu. I only know that they were junior high school classmates. Yanzi said that Lin Mu was not outstanding at that time, and his relationship with her in the class was not good or bad. No classmate in the entire junior high school class knew that she liked him.

When I first heard about this, I didn’t believe it. I thought that if you like someone, you would never pretend to be someone, but Yanzi told me that it was true. For a long time, Lin Mu always thought that Yanzi liked another boy in the class.

She said that she would cheer for the boy when Lin Mu and the boy were running at the same time, but her eyes would always be on Lin Mu; He should be more social; she would take the initiative to run over to the arrogant Lin Mu and ridicule her when he was unwilling to contribute to the class, but only to prove that he treated her differently from others the moment he agreed.

Yes, she has done all these stupid things.

I wonder if you were so slow when you were young. When someone makes a face at you, or someone confronts you, your first reaction is to be incompatible with the other person, but you have never thought about why he did these childish things. Only do it to you. Later, when I grew up and understood, I could no longer find that innocent childishness.

Because in the past, I only saw love with my eyes, but now I listen to love with my heart.

Although Lin Mu misunderstood her, fortunately, no one seemed to like Lin Mu except her in junior high school. People who fall in love are so stupid. They only think that the only person who likes him is themselves, so how can I He just has a different existence.

After high school, Lin Mu grew a lot. Coupled with his handsome face and human-like talent, more and more girls began to like him. During that time, Yanzi was The saddest. She felt that she was the one who first fell in love with Lin Mu, and she was the one who first discovered his advantages, but in the end, she seemed to be no different from those people.

Unfortunately, love has no priority. Lin Mu has become a celebrity in his grade. Wherever he goes, he will win the attention of girls.

Later, I don’t know who leaked the news or discovered something. Many junior high school classmates came to ask Yanzi if he liked Lin Mu. Amidst the gossip, Yanzi smiled faintly and said, I don't like him anymore.

Yes, Yanzi decided not to like him. Yanzi said that there were too many people who liked him, and she couldn't fight, and she didn't want to fight. It was over.

How ridiculous, no one knew when she liked him, but everyone knew when she was planning to dislike him.

Of course, Yanzi’s plan to give up did not succeed in the end. Someone said this, it only takes one second to fall in love with someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget.

I don’t know if Yanzi has liked Lin Mu for so long. Anyway, she said this at least ten times throughout high school. We friends all tacitly refrained from exposing her.

"When he falls in love, I will write him a letter and throw it in front of him, saying that I will never like you again."

"When he is single I have completely given up my thoughts, and I will find someone better than him."

"Oh, Xiaomo, why don't you think of him as a partner? He doesn't have his own plans. "How can I find a partner?"

Yanzi's words are still in her mind. It seems that she has been talking about Lin Mu like this since high school. Over time, we got used to this kind of joke, and we all thought, She really gave up.

"How could he have a partner? How could he have a partner like this? I like him, I like him so much. He has been with me throughout my youth..."

Yanzi's whimpering voice came from the microphone. For a moment, I wanted to tell Lin Mu these things, but I gave up the next second because it was meaningless.

There are trees in the mountains, and the trees have branches, and the heart is happy but you don’t know it. For secret love, this grand love seems to be a one-man show. In this one-man show, I learned tolerance, learned how to express my love, and understood what it feels like to like someone, but I also learned that there are some things for which there is no way except compromise.

Giving up again and again, not being able to bear to give up again and again, seems like hesitation, but in fact it is helpless.

If you have ever had a crush on someone, you will understand that it is like a plant, growing wantonly with time as water. It will not dissipate over time, but will accumulate and be buried in my heart little by little.

Secret love is different from falling in love. Love will eventually break up. It must be because they are tired of each other and neither wants the other. But secret love is different. From beginning to end, it belongs to one person. The person in my heart will only get better and better, but it is difficult to dislike him.

Later, Yanzi still didn’t bother Lin Mu. A month later, I saw her comment under Lin Mu’s comment. It only had four words: I wish you happiness.

She once said that the last person in the world she would not bless sincerely is Lin Mu. In her words, girl, I have worked hard to like you for so long, how can you let me down, how can you bear it? Let down.

But in the end, she still relented. I think she might have really let go this time, or maybe she didn’t let go, but she just recognized one thing in her heart, that is, she had exhausted all her strength. The boy I loved in my youth finally belonged to someone else.

At that moment, I suddenly felt that the person I have a crush on is very great. This is an unspoken waiting. I don’t know when it starts and I don’t know when it ends. It is as calm as water and silent. But it is also very distressing. Time and time again, I say it doesn't matter or don't care, but my heart hurts more than anyone else.

But in the end, there will always be a time to say goodbye, and by then, it will all be gone. I like you, just like the flying geese leaving no trace and the falling leaves making no sound.

After so many years, I only wish you to be worry-free every year.