Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Robinson's process of domesticating goats on a desert island
Robinson's process of domesticating goats on a desert island
Excerpts from the original novel:
……
In the third year of going to the island, I caught a little female goat. After domestication, it grew up. Later, I always wanted to catch another goat to match; But I tried my best to catch one. Finally, the little goat turned into an old goat, and I couldn't bear to kill it until it died of old age.
I have lived on the island for eleven years now. As I said before, I'm running out of ammunition. So I began to study how to catch goats with traps or clips to see if I could catch one or two alive. I especially hope to catch a pregnant ewe.
To this end, I made some clips to catch goats. I'm sure the goat has been caught in the clip several times, but because there is no metal wire such as lead wire, the clip is not ideal. As a result, it always eats the bait, breaks the clip and runs away.
Finally, I decided to try to dig a trap. So, I dug several big pits where goats often graze, covered them with some homemade sticks and pressed some heavy things on them. A few times ago, I put some ears of wheat and dried rice in the covered pit, but I didn't mean to pretend. You can tell at a glance that the goat went in to eat the grain, because it left feet and cherry blossoms on it. One night, I set devices in three traps at the same time.
The next morning I went to have a look and saw that all the bait had been eaten, but none of the three organs moved. This is really frustrating. So, I modified the mechanism. I won't go into details. To sum up, one morning I went to see the trap and found an old sheep in one trap and three lambs in the other, one of them was a ram and the other two were ewes.
I can't do anything about that old sheep. It is so fierce that I dare not go down to catch it. I want to take him alive, that's my purpose. Of course, I can kill it, but I don't want to do that because it's not my will. So I had to let go. As soon as the old goat ran out of the pit, it ran away like a frightened soul. At that time, I didn't think that even lions could be tamed by starvation. Only later did I know this method. If I let the old goat starve in the trap for three or four days and give it some water to drink and some food to eat, it will be as docile as those little goats. Goats are very clever, and they are easy to domesticate as long as they are properly raised.
However, I didn't know what to do at that time, so I had to let the old goat go. Then, I went to the pit of the little goats, caught them one by one, tied them together with ropes, and took them home with great difficulty.
Little goat refused to eat for a long time. Later, I gave them some food, because it was sweet and they liked it very much, so they gradually tamed it. Now I know that the only way to eat goat and mutton after running out of ammunition and food is to domesticate some goats. Maybe there will be a flock of goats around my house in the future!
At present, my first thought is that domestic goats must be discarded separately from wild goats. Otherwise, as soon as the domesticated baby goat grows up, it will run away and become a wild goat again. The only way to separate domesticated goats from wild goats is to find a clearing and enclose it with a solid fence or wooden fence. In this way, the tamed sheep inside can't get out, and the wild sheep outside can't get in.
I'm alone. Building a fence around the enclosure is undoubtedly a huge project, but it is absolutely necessary. Therefore, I must first find a suitable place, where there should be grass for goats to eat, water for them to drink, and a cool place for them to rest.
I found a very suitable place, and I have all the above three conditions.
This is a large flat grassland, which is what western colonists call a tropical or subtropical grassland with sparse trees. There are two or three streams on the grassland. The water is clear and there are many trees at the end. However, anyone who has enclosure experience will definitely think that my practice lacks calculation. If I tell them my initial idea, they will definitely laugh at me. This is not only because my fence is too big, if I want to build a fence or wooden fence, it will be at least two miles long! In fact, the length of the fence is secondary. Even if it is ten miles long, I still have time to finish it, mainly because of the consequences of excessive enclosure. At that time, I didn't consider that goats would run around in such a large range, as if they were not enclosed. If you want to catch it, you can't catch it at all.
I started building fences, and I didn't think of the above problems until I finished about fifty yards. So I immediately stopped working and decided to circle a place about 150 yards long and 100 yards wide. This area, for quite a while, is enough to accommodate the goats I can tame; When the number of sheep increases, I can further expand the enclosure.
This method is safe and feasible, so I summon up courage to start over.
The first fence took nearly three months to complete. In the meantime, I have been tying three lambs to the best place, so that they can always graze near me and get familiar with me. I often feed them barley ears and handfuls of rice and let them eat in my hands. In this way, when I finish building the fence, even if I let it go, I will come back around me and beg for food!
My purpose has finally come true. In less than a year and a half, I raised twelve goats. Two years later, apart from the ones I killed, I had 43. Then I circled five or six places to raise sheep. On these fences, narrow fences were built; When I want to catch sheep, I drive them in. At the same time, some doors are used to communicate with each other between the fences. That doesn't count. Now I have not only mutton to eat, but also goat milk to drink. I didn't even think about it at first. So when I suddenly thought that I could drink goat's milk, I was overjoyed. Now, I have my own milking room, and sometimes I can produce a gallon or two of goat's milk every day. I have never milked a cow, let alone goat's milk, or seen anyone make cream or cheese in my life. However, after many attempts and failures, I finally made cream and cheese, which was convenient and neat. It can be seen that nature not only gives every living thing food, but also naturally teaches them how to make full use of all kinds of food.
……
A brief introduction to Robinson Crusoe;
Robinson was born in a respectable merchant family, eager to sail and bent on seeing something overseas. He secretly went to the sea without telling his father, and went to London, where he bought some fake beads and toys to do business in Africa and exchanged valuables such as gold sands and ivory with local natives. The profit was as high as dozens of times, and he was unfortunately captured by the Moors for the second time and became a slave. Later, he escaped by rowing his master's boat and was rescued by a Portuguese cargo ship on the way. After the ship arrived in Brazil, he bought a manor there and became the owner of the manor. Not content with getting rich in this way, he went out to sea and sold slaves in Africa.
On the third voyage, the ship encountered a storm on the way, and all the sailors and passengers on board were killed. Only Robinson survived and drifted to an isolated island. He made a raft from the mast of the sunken ship, transported the food, clothes, guns, ammunition and tools from the ship to the shore again and again, and set up a tent on the hillside to settle down. Then he put a fence around the tent with sharpened stakes and dug a hole behind the tent to live. He used simple tools to make furniture such as tables and chairs, hunted game for food, and drank fresh water from the stream to tide over the initial difficulties.
He started planting barley and rice on the island, making wooden mortar, pestle and sieve, processing flour and baking coarse bread. He captured and domesticated wild goats and let them breed. He also makes pottery and so on to ensure his own needs. At the other end of the desert island, a "country house" and a farm were built. Even so, Robinson never gave up looking for a way to leave the island. He cut down a big tree and spent five or six months making a canoe, but the boat was too heavy to drag into the sea, so he had to give up all his previous efforts and build another boat. Robinson lived alone on the island 15 years later, one day, he found a footprint on the coast of the island. Soon, he found human bones again, and it was too hot. It turned out that a group of savages from outer islands held a feast of human flesh here. Robinson was surprised. Since then, he has increased his vigilance and paid more attention to the things around him. Until the 24th year, another group of savages came to the island, ready to kill the captive. Robinson found and rescued one of them. Because it was Friday, Robinson named the rescued prisoner Friday. From then on, "Friday" became Robinson's loyal servant and friend. Then Robinson took Friday to rescue a Spaniard and Friday's father. Soon an English ship docked near the island, and the sailors on board rebelled and abandoned the captain and other three people on the island. Robinson and Friday helped the captain subdue the rebellious sailors and recapture the ship. He left the sailors on the island and left the desert island for England with the captain on Friday. By this time, Robinson had been away from home for 35 years (living on the island for 28 years). He got married in England and has three children. After his wife died, Robinson went out to sea for business again, passing through the desert island where he lived. At this time, the sailors and Spaniards who stayed on the island have settled down and thrived. Robinson sent some new immigrants, gave them the land on the island, left them all kinds of daily necessities, and left the island with satisfaction.
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