Enter the science joke

1. One issue said that an ancient temple in Emei Mountain was located in the depths of the forest, but there was never a leaf on the roof. On this matter, I interviewed monks, tourists, security guards, laymen, the director of the Cultural Relics Bureau and a neighbor's dog of his aunt's second cousin. After a long, in-depth, all-round and multi-angle analysis, I finally came to the conclusion that it was blown away by the wind. I want to fucking jump off a building! NN Bear, it hurts my self-esteem!

2. water monster? What about monsters? They are so deceptive. Tianchi monster is three things. They are otters and turtles. The third thing told me to vomit blood, but it was a Korean motorboat!

I'm not sure if it's this program. Anyway, it is CCTV 10. It's about an old farmer who measured the room with an electric pen and later developed it to the ground. Finally, I simply, C, the air is charged, above 220V V V. Of course, people who have this phenomenon are fine. Anyone with a little culture or common sense knows that there must be something wrong with this pencil. I treat this program like a joke. I'm really touched.

In the other issue, it is said that the cowhide drum that has been hung for several years suddenly grows cow hair, which is quite famous in the local area. The program interviewed so many people, and the research was taken from Xiamen University to the central government, but no one told me why. In the end, nothing can be done. The drummer is unprofessional and his hair has not been shaved. At first, the cow hair was not shaved. Isn't this a doubt about the professional level of drummers?

In September 2006, a very strange thing happened to an ordinary villager in Caoban Village, Hua 'an County, Fujian Province. In the middle of the night, there was a loud noise, and an unknown object fell from the sky, breaking branches, smashing through the roof, sinking into the ground, and smashing a pit more than ten centimeters deep in the ground. And it was very hot when it fell, and it felt very hot. The villagers are talking about it. Some people say it's a meteorite, some people say it's part of an airplane, and some people say it's a ufo fragment. What's more, they even said it was like an alien urinal. Is it an alien or something? What exactly is this unknown object and how did it end up here? Get close to science and uncover the mystery for you. Mysterious, finally tell you, it was a peddler who canned hydrogen privately, accidentally burst the can and the fragments fell!

6. In another episode, a child was possessed by a ghost and turned into a left Tang Zong, which is also an explanation. The children don't know who Zuo is, but everything they say is gentle and clear. I don't know what they finally explained. When the child was possessed by a zombie, his mouth was still chanting ancient Chinese. This-I didn't explain it clearly at last.

7. One episode said that a village had strange crying in the middle of the night every night, which woke up the whole village. Everyone is afraid to go out and watch, and they are afraid to sleep until dawn. I interviewed many elderly villagers. It is said that there are wild animals here, and they come to the village every night to make people panic. This music is called KB! Also divided into two fucking episodes! Finally, I even said that a fat man in the village was snoring! Is TNND the fat man reincarnated as Lohan King Kong or Pavarotti's illegitimate child? ! Can snoring wake a village? ! k！ I want to smash the TV!

8. I was lucky enough to watch an episode that said that a person died n times and survived. The final conclusion is that he was ill (epileptic) when he died. Why can you come back to life? Because the barefoot doctor in the village secretly gave him infusion every time he faked his death.

9. In another episode, it is said that a family always found bright red liquid like blood seeping from the cracks in the tiles on the floor of their living room, and it was everywhere. The whole village doesn't know what's going on, and they are wondering if this land was originally a cemetery or something. Then more than N experts were invited to study the geographical location and topographic conditions of their home, and all the conclusions were: according to science, it is impossible for underground minerals to seep back. So the final conclusion is that the liquid was spilled by this family for the sake of fame. I fell to the ground with a bang.

10, last time there was a person who was not afraid of electricity, and it was nothing to take a 220v wire. Finally, it was sent to an expert in Beijing for identification, saying that this person has a thick calluses and is not afraid of electricity. I think at least 500 million of China's 700 million farmers are not afraid of electricity.

1 1, there is an episode that a person can suck blood from the skin as long as he touches it hard, but there is no wound when he touches it, and finally the gums bleed violently.

12、7。 The latest issue is about the spontaneous combustion of the elderly. The cotton-padded clothes on the old man and even the objects he touches will spontaneously ignite. Therefore, his curiosity has greatly increased. Finally, the granddaughter of the old man ordered it. Shit, this has nothing to do with science. Finally, it also leads to the topic of unfilial children, which should be a family matter!

13. Last time there was a man who was not afraid of electricity. He has nothing to do with 220-volt wires. Finally, it was sent to an expert in Beijing for identification, saying that this person has a thick calluses and is not afraid of electricity. I think at least 500 million of China's 700 million farmers are not afraid of electricity.

14, the first issue is about an old house that no one lives in. It glows at night, and there is a bed in it, which looks like someone has slept. It's dreamy ~ ~ The final answer is that the glow is the light reflected from the opposite family. The explanation of the bed is 10, and no one sleeps for two years. As a result, someone slept as soon as he slept.

15, I just watched the first issue, and an old man's electric light is always on at night for no reason. As a result, everyone said that their house was haunted and the old man was sick. One of them invited a great college student, which can't be explained. Finally, the village overhauled the circuit, saying that the switch screw was loose and it would be fine. After watching it, I thought it was a program on the retarded channel. The point is, I'm fucking patient!

16, there is an episode that there are strange noises in a village every night in the middle of the night, which wakes up the whole village, and everyone dares not go out to watch it or sleep until dawn. I interviewed many elderly villagers. It is said that there are wild animals here, and they come to the village every night to make people panic. This music is called KB! Also divided into two fucking episodes! Finally, I even said that a fat man in the village was snoring! Is TNND the fat man reincarnated as Lohan King Kong or Pavarotti's illegitimate child? ! Can snoring wake a village? I want to smash the TV!

17, a child who is often possessed by zombies. Do all kinds of strange actions. For example, roll your eyes, bite, jump forward with your arms straight, and drink blood to bite. The camera was dim and interviewed more than n villagers. Everyone is very scared. Later, a professor was invited to investigate, but the investigation could not come out. The professor dragged the child to the hospital of West China University of Medical Sciences for examination and concluded that he was in good health. Finally, take the child to see a psychiatrist. The doctor asked a few silly questions and came to a conclusion because the child wanted to attract the attention of his family. Because his father usually doesn't care much about him. As a result, after he disguised as a zombie, his father was very concerned about him and took him to see a doctor.

18, another episode said that a family always found bright red liquid like blood seeping from the cracks in the tiles of their living room floor, and it was everywhere. The whole village doesn't know what's going on, and they are wondering if this land was originally a cemetery or something. Then more than N experts were invited to study the geographical location and topographic conditions of their home, and the conclusion was that according to science, it is impossible for underground minerals to seep back. Therefore, the final conclusion is:

19, I just watched the first issue, and an old man's electric light is always on at night for no reason. As a result, everyone said that their house was haunted and the old man was sick. One of them invited a great college student, which can't be explained. Finally, the village overhauled the circuit, saying that the switch screw was loose and it would be fine. After watching it, I thought it was a program on the retarded channel. The point is that I actually read it patiently!

20. In the first phase, an old house that no one lives in glows at night, and there is a bed in it, which looks like someone has slept. It is very charming. The final answer is that the glow reflects the light from the opposite home. The explanation of the bed is 10, and no one sleeps for 2 years. As a result, he cleaned it up and someone fell asleep. Passed out on the spot (fortunately, I was in bed)

2 1. In the latest issue, it was said that the old man spontaneously ignited, and the cotton-padded clothes on his body and even the objects he touched would spontaneously ignite. Therefore, his curiosity has greatly increased. Finally, the granddaughter of the old man ordered it, which has nothing to do with science. Finally, it also leads to the topic of unfilial children, which should be a family matter!

22. I recently read an issue about two girls who rented a house and found the room abnormal at night. When I checked, I found that the computers of these two girls were hit by a Trojan horse.

23. In another issue, it is said that the cowhide drum that has been hung for several years suddenly grows cow hair, which is quite famous in the local area. The program interviewed so many people, and the research was taken from Xiamen University to the central government, but no one told me why. In the end, nothing can be done. The drummer is unprofessional and his hair has not been shaved. At first, the cow hair was not shaved. I feel dizzy. Isn't this a doubt about the professional level of drummers? Ha ha! To send me away with such a conclusion is to look down on my IQ or the director's IQ!

24. A child is often possessed by zombies. Do all kinds of strange actions. For example, roll your eyes, bite, jump forward with your arms straight, and drink blood to bite. The camera was dim and interviewed more than n villagers. Everyone is very scared. Later, a professor was invited to investigate, but the investigation could not come out. The professor dragged the child to the hospital of West China University of Medical Sciences for examination and concluded that he was in good health. Finally, take the child to see a psychiatrist. The doctor asked a few silly questions and came to a conclusion because the child wanted to attract the attention of his family. Because his father usually doesn't care much about him. As a result, after he disguised as a zombie, his father was very concerned about him and took him to see a doctor. Is to go into science.

25. And the episode "Who's Flying on My Back". At first it was an angry and exaggerated mystery. It is said that 30 years ago, a farmer was still in a rural area with traffic jams in Hebei the night before 10. I woke up at five or six the next morning and found myself in Nanjing. Somehow, the same thing happened again for the second time, and I woke up to find myself in Shanghai. This family is also called Gao and Gao by these two people in Shandong. The third time, they flew to several cities on their backs. This is probably the process. The program is both investigation and evidence collection, and witnesses are everywhere. It's so mysterious that I couldn't sleep or eat that night! That's called lovesickness! As a result, several bird experts finally came and insisted that honest farmers sleepwalk to Nanjing, Shanghai and other places. Seeing this, I fainted for a long time on the spot. Don't you have to buy tickets for TM sleepwalking? Maybe the whole country was sleepwalking? But think about it, wasn't it TM sleepwalking at that time? Later, bird experts said that both people and farmers had epilepsy, and everything was an illusion. What kind of MRI, CT and so on are chasing people and farmers to check, taking people's heads instead of heads. As a result, they were not sick and their heads were quite normal. The bird expert looked at it and said, then you are paranoid, and this disease cannot be detected! I thought so. I fainted for a long time! NN Bear, who is paranoid? If someone is not sick, you say that he is sick and there is no test result. If you create test results, you should also say that they are sick. Who's paranoid?

Classic dirty jokes, jokes that people in the circle of friends want to praise, jokes that God replies to, and thanks to all those who come into life.

Guide: Time is like a song, and life is like a tide. Give life a reason to smile, don't let your heart bear too much burden; Give yourself a way to keep warm, pursue with the obsession of the wind, and polish the most beautiful scenery of the branches with the calm posture and smile of the lotus.

1. When you are in a hurry, don't forget to stop and squat down to listen to the sound of flowers on the roadside; When you feel too tired, take a break and enjoy the passage of time in the memory of things and me. Don't think there are more beautiful scenery ahead. When you get to the end, maybe it's just a wasteland.

2. Every flower quietly came into this world and quietly left. If we listen, there seems to be profound thoughts in silence and beautiful eloquence in silence. In fact, as we all know, when we start to sigh about time, we have lost something forever. Yes, we can never go back, so we learned to look up.

No one can take away your pain and suffering. You have to face everything yourself. The human heart is like a container. When you pretend to be happier, you will naturally feel less depressed. Some bitter, can be hung on the face to let people know; Some pain can only be buried in my heart alone.

Don't panic, everyone makes mistakes. Losing someone is just a process of life. It won't rain all the time, but it will always clear up after the rain. Life is like tea, with sweetness in bitterness. Warm water can't make good tea, no matter how good the tea quality is, the water temperature is not enough and there is no fragrance.

Time passes in a blink of an eye, and life is like a trip. Everyone is on the road, and everyone unknowingly passes by the scenery along the way. Many times, life is like water, the stone sinks into the sea, and the waves are stormy; Many times, if life is a dream, look back and dream happily.

6. There are always many gullies that we need to cross. When you have negative emotions, don't say them. Mind your own mouth, sometimes being dumb is a state. Many things look good; If you can't open it, you have to get through it. Don't think that you can't get through without opening your eyes.

7. Tired, look at the world from another angle. In the innermost spiritual life, each of us is lonely, and love can't eliminate this loneliness, but it is precisely because we realize the loneliness of others from ourselves and others that we are full of the most sincere love for others.

8. People who can't figure it out are better to ignore it. We are really alive, but not everyone, everything should be true to the end. Behind the truth, there is often a heartache. Live happily, bloom naturally, fall naturally, and not be sad. Flowers are not flowers, fog is not fog, and overlooking is elegant.

9. The painful struggle in life has lost youth. We are all actors, shedding our tears in other people's stories. Let's watch the prosperity die and cry. At the end of the song, only the sad people understand. Cold stage, I am a player who has lived in your story all my life. Players enter the show for life.

10, life is like a car, long distance or short distance. Many times, life chose you, not you. When life can't hold on, smile at every corner of the journey, give you joy, give you sorrow, give you endless, predictable and unpredictable little gifts.

1 1, don't expect, don't assume that time is the fairest resource in this life journey. We are spectators, not scenery. Thanks to all the people who came into life, no matter what kind of intersection between you and me, it has been fixed with time. Years have aged the face, but also indifferent to the mood. Time has mottled the memory and remembered you and me.

12, the cry of childhood landing doomed everyone to grow up in pain, turn into a butterfly in tears and fly in the garden of the past years. Dance out a brand-new world, barren wilderness, beautiful forest, Snow White in fairy tales.

13, we can be ordinary, but we can't live without dreams. For it, we in never back down will never give up and never hesitate. Thank you for all the encounters and parting, just like the lines carved by time in my heart. I was sad and disappointed, but what remained was more warmth.

14, we wash away the bitterness of life with tears and precipitate emotional fragments with time. Summer flowers are gorgeous, autumn leaves are quiet, life extends in motion, and the soul is quiet in the noise. The pain and fatigue of the past are not suffered by others, but the background of your dormancy and the flash of your looking back.

15. No matter how many pairs of eyes there are around, no matter how noisy the decibel is, real reading is doomed to be lonely, either in a bustling city with neon flashing or on an island dancing for a month. That's a single hammer from one mind to another, and that's a story that Grandpa Fairy told for you.

16. Whenever I am upset, I will lie on the grass, watch the night sky, listen to music, and my thoughts will gradually melt into the night sky, and my troubles will gradually disappear. Even if the whole world abandoned me, I still have this sky, I still have this land, and I still have that immortal heart. The heart is there, the dream is there; If the dream exists, it will bloom under this land and this sky.

17, I always feel that time is not enough, but I don't know where all the time has gone. Day by day, and I have never been bad or bad. Happiness is a state of mind, not a state. I have a happy state of mind and a sad state at this time.

18, I started with an ugly duckling, and then walked slowly on the road, growing up and growing beautiful feathers. I can also fly in the blue sky, keep company with the breeze and white clouds, and soar in the wind. I have been obsessed with the words, but also on the road of walking, accompanied by my steps, my figure, walking with me.

19, a thing of the past, let it go with the wind. Life is the last resort. Every sunrise and sunset, every flowering and falling are vicissitudes of life, so there is a lot of helplessness. Whether you love or hate, cry or laugh, life goes on.

Life can't be perfect, so we try our best. In the journey of life, we have been looking for it, but we have neglected the scenery in front of us. In fact, beauty is deeply hidden in the years. Lilacs in spring, drizzle in summer, fallen leaves in autumn and snowflakes in winter are all beautiful.

2 1, don't always think about who to rely on, people are selfish, and there will always be some feelings that need quiet aftertaste in the ups and downs of life; There will always be some pain that needs to be experienced by a person; There will always be a way to walk alone; There will always be things to face calmly.

22. Life is a personal process, sometimes it will make you happy, sometimes it will make you miserable, and some will make you unable to extricate yourself. It is really hard to imagine and torture. I have always liked loneliness, and I am used to it. In the noisy crowd, I always want to escape. It's really nice to be alone.

23. If the years are quiet, take good care of your body and mind. Tired, look at the world from another angle. I cherish everyone I can call a friend, because that's where my wandering heart can stop. Sometimes I am moved by a word, because I am sincere; Sometimes I cry for a song, because of nature.

24. Many people, at a very young age, have decided to do things for a lifetime. Even after all kinds of twists and turns and detours, sooner or later, I will always follow the default direction in my heart. I feel that I have found a general direction, or accidentally found something I am willing to do.

25. If the face of youth is a season's amorous feelings, then the mature charm is the evergreen scenery of life. Those condensed fortitude can stand the ups and downs of the years, remembering the ups and downs, regardless of joys and sorrows, ups and downs and collisions.

Another name of youth is futility. This futility lies in that no matter how you live it, whether you squander it or cherish it, you will feel uncomfortable in retrospect. It's like you like that person very much, but you know you can't make it to the end.

27. When one day you become the person you like, who will question that your choice is unreliable? You become a better person, and you will meet better people. No matter who you are, you will meet. The important thing is that no matter what choice you make, you must live up to your heart.

28. Time will not care for anyone as soon as possible, but it may erase all your goodness. Only the warmth and persistence in the heart, only the sober understanding all the time, the years will not become ruthless. Time is too long, desolation is too long, even the memory will be indifferent, we should all live with our hearts.

29. There is nothing that can't pass, only the mood that can't pass. Just change your mood and the world will be completely different. Don't worry too much about the present and don't worry too much about the future; When you experience something, the scenery in front of you is different from before.

30. Many things are doomed to come to an end. Enjoy the wonderful process. When passing by, learn to forget, laugh loudly, cry boldly, look up, and there is a bright sunshine. You should believe that time can change everything! Don't let yourself cry easily.

Editor's note: Since we have chosen this road, we must work hard to go on, so in the unpredictable life. As long as I have a bright future expectation, I will summon up the courage to go on. Even if I fall on the road of pursuing a better future, I am definitely not bored.

Famous aphorism

1, no one can fully grasp the truth. Aristotle

There is no end to science, which is an eternal mystery. [Name] Albert Einstein (Jewish theoretical physicist)

3. Surprise is the seed of science. Edison

4. The benefits of fallacy are temporary, while the benefits of truth are permanent; When truth has shortcomings, these shortcomings will soon be eliminated, and fallacies always go hand in hand with fallacies. Diderot

Truth may be on the side of a few people. Plato

6. Exploring the truth is more valuable than having the truth. [Name] Albert Einstein (Jewish theoretical physicist)

7. For people engaged in science, diligence is the mother of success. yisheng mao

8. All reasoning must come from observation and experiment. "Galileo"

9. Science is the best way to make people brave. Bruno

10, fantasy is the wings of a poet, and hypothesis is the ladder of science. Goethe

1 1. If we admit defeat too easily, we may not realize that we are very close to being right. Karl Popper

12, it takes special courage to pursue science. "Galileo"

13, without bold speculation, there would be no great discovery. newton

14. A soul without imagination is like an observatory without a telescope. [Name] Albert Einstein (Jewish theoretical physicist)

15, initially deviated from the truth, but in the end it was a thousand miles away. Aristotle

16, the pursuit of objective truth and knowledge is the highest and eternal goal of mankind. [Name] Albert Einstein (Jewish theoretical physicist)

17, so is the difficulty. Facing the cliffs, you can't see a crack in a hundred years, but with an axe, you can advance inch by inch, you must advance inch by inch, and you will continue to accumulate. Leaps will come, and breakthroughs will follow. Hua

18, the sea of truth, let all the undiscovered things lie in front of my eyes and let me explore. newton

19. Exercise is the source of all life. leonardo di ser piero da vinci

20. Diet often makes people clear-headed and quick-thinking. Franklin

2 1, I really want to invent a quality or machine with such terrible large-scale destructive power that war will never be possible. Nobel

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Franklin

23. Invention is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. Edison

The question mark is the key to any science. Pavlov

25. Once science has wings of fantasy, it can win. Faraday

26. Man's bounden duty is to be brave in exploring the truth. Copernicus

27. Thought is always the ruler of the universe. Plato

28. The foundation of science is a healthy body. Madame Curie

29. Only by adapting to nature can we control nature. bacon

30. Health is not a matter of physical condition, but a matter of mental condition. ( )

3 1, when the water stops, it loses its purity, the heart stops moving and the essence disappears. leonardo di ser piero da vinci

32. Anyone who rashly tells the truth in small matters is also untrustworthy in big matters. [Name] Albert Einstein (Jewish theoretical physicist)

Talking about the mood of walking into the desert

Looking forward to entering the vast land of northwest China, although I am tired during the journey, the historical crossing from Xixia Mausoleum to Zhongwei Desert has picked up deep thoughts and memories from ancient times to the present, which is the cultural blood that supports the country to maintain the nation, not populism or barbaric utilitarianism. China with vast territory and abundant resources! Brilliant civilization!

Talking about the mood of walking into the desert

Always wanted to walk into her desert, the same latitude and longitude, the same sand, the same restless mood! Now I can only say that it is getting closer and closer to you, Sahara ~

Second, set foot on this mysterious land with awe and start a trip to the desert. A different kind of peaceful and quiet Buddhist world can purify the soul even if it is impossible to enter.

Third, open your bright eyes, eliminate the interference of sleepiness, stretch your beautiful smiling face and embrace a happy day. Good morning! Friends, I wish you a good mood today. The water in the desert is the most precious, the lights in the night are the most precious, the friendship in the vast sea of people is the most precious, and a happy and healthy life is the most precious. I wish you all the most precious and beautiful things!

I walked into Tengger Desert for the first time on National Day, and that kind of shock made me feel that there was no language to express my feelings at that time. It's just a pity that I didn't bring my husband and daughter. This beautiful scenery was decided without sharing it with my family. I will enter the desert again.

Walking into the desert, I feel so small that I want to shoot something to express my mood at the moment.

6. Suddenly, it gives people a dreamlike feeling, but unfortunately, such a beautiful scenery has an eternal amorous feelings, and who do you tell it to? Then, light a cigarette, and the past is like a cloud, like a person crossing the desert and coming to the oasis. I am extremely excited and hope comes with it! Walking into the building complex, I saw a square, shops gathered, and high-rise buildings were spacious and luxurious, running through from top to bottom, just like a kingdom! It's beautiful here, which makes people linger!

7. I let go of this world, but I never let go of the beautiful poem of the living Buddha. With curiosity and reverence for the curtain, let's go into the secret realm of Alashan, throw ourselves into the embrace of Tengger Desert, go to Chengqing Temple to see the Bodhi of the living Buddha-Wenguanguo, and explore the poet legend of the living Buddha in Cangyang Gyatso.

Eight, open your bright eyes, eliminate the interference of sleepiness, stretch your beautiful smiling face and embrace a happy day. Good morning, my friend. I wish you a good mood today and a comfortable life and work! Walking into the desert water is the most precious; The dark night light is the most precious; Friendship in the vast sea of people is the most precious; Happy life and health are the most precious; May you have all the most precious and beautiful things!

Looking at this solemn desert temple, I walked in with awe. When I came out, there was only sand and stones.

Ten, every day to see tourists from all over the country, into the Islamic cultural show, and then leave happily, in a great mood, Dalian found the kingdom desert cultural show waiting for you.

Eleven, prepared a pair of shoes that can walk in the desert, picked up an empty bottle, filled with clear streams, followed the guards into the castle with a feeling of anxiety and secretly pleased, and put down the flowers and chose to stay when she learned that the princess would not come back.

Twelve, entering the desert water is the most precious; The dark night light is the most precious; Friendship in the vast sea of people is the most precious; Happy life and health are the most precious; May you have all the most precious and beautiful things.

13. I rode a camel into this mysterious desert, which was both pleasant and pleasant. I saw the undulating yellow sand dunes with my own eyes, felt the shock of the magnificent boundless desert, and deeply felt the power of nature and the tenacity of human beings. Life is like a trip to the desert, either you are trapped in the desert and exhausted, or you rush out of the desert and get another sky.