Humorous jokes and funny replies

A complete collection of humorous jokes and the most funny replies

One of the functions of humor is to make people feel satisfied and ensure emotional stability in unsatisfactory situations. So, the following is given by I have compiled a collection of humorous jokes for you.

Cold goods are damaged, Judou Shen replies

1. Why doesn’t WeChat have a computer version?

Because computers are too Too heavy to shake. ?

2. Question: Is there a person who makes you feel sour when you think about it?

Answer: Yes, the one who sells candied haws.

3. Question: Someone secretly has a crush on you, will you be tempted when you find out?

Answer: I think I will change my heart.

4. Why do students cheat?

Because grades are more important than integrity. ?

5. Why are your math scores so good?

Just because I believe in one sentence: Success is 99% of sweat plus 2% of inspiration. ?

6. Which master can help me calculate, when will I have a lot of money?

God’s reply: When your family pays a visit to your grave. . .

7. Question: What is the main reason for students’ failing academic performance?

Answer: Examination.

8. How can you take a particularly beautiful confession photo?

Be beautiful.

9. Question: Is it too late to learn piano at the age of 26?

God’s reply: It’s a bit difficult, your parents can’t beat you anymore.

10. Question: What should I do if I am too short?

Answer: Eat more meat.

Question: Can you grow taller by eating meat?

Answer: Can you gain weight by eating meat? Fat people are not too short!

When I woke up, Uniqlo was all over the Internet. Don’t get drunk from laughing

1. Hello, this is the UNIQLO customer service center. How can I help you?

Ah, hello, please book a sea view for two people for me. Couple's fun fitting room. Thank you. ?

2. The Uniqlo incident made e-commerce giants such as Jack Ma and Liu Qiangdong discover a major loophole in the e-commerce business model: there is no fitting room!

3. UNIQLO This advertisement is very real, reflects human nature, and has no sense of advertising. There are no fancy shooting techniques in the advertisement, and the lens is plain. From the perspective of the expression technique of the lens, the handheld breathing of photography just caters to the atmosphere of expression, and the lighting also pursues authenticity. Sensual, unembellished, and more unforgettable than many artificial lights. Although the story is a romance film, compared to today's clichéd tragic love movies, it seems to be to the point. The whole film is a closed space. It can be seen that the director is so skillful in grasping the tension of the story, and in the selection of actors, he also boldly casts new actors. The female lead is also the "little era" style that the audience likes today. In general, a small-cost film can achieve this This level is already very good. I give it 9 points.

4. Physical stores have finally turned around! They tell Taobao and JD.com with ironclad facts that no matter how powerful the Internet is, they can’t beat the physical stores no matter how cheap you are. , do you have a fitting room? It took a hundred years to build the same boat, and a thousand years to build Uniqlo. I searched for her thousands of times in the crowd, but when I look back at you, you are at Uniqlo in Sanlitun. Uniqlo is everywhere in the city.

The most beautiful thing is not a rainy day, but being in the fitting room of Uniqlo with you~

5. After watching the Uniqlo video, my inner feelings were extremely complicated. I kept asking myself, what is wrong with this society? ?Are the most basic moral bottom lines for human beings gone? The world is really in decline! It’s unsightly! Thinking of this, I clenched my fists and roared out my inner cry: Why is the leading actor not me!!

6. Searching for him thousands of times, Sanlitun, UNIQLO;

Purple smoke comes from the incense burner in the sunshine, looking at the dressing room in the distance;

Two orioles sing in the green willows, in UNIQLO Take a walk;

There are tens of millions of fitting rooms, sheltering the poor people all over the world.

There is no place to look for after wearing iron shoes, and the beauties are all in Uniqlo;

The sun shines on the incense burner and produces purple smoke, and you can see the dressing room in the distance;

It takes a century to build the same boat, and a thousand years to build UNIQLO!

7. After watching the UNIQLO video, I think, this You still have to rely on deception to find a girlfriend. To be honest, any good girls can come to me and I can take you to Harrods to have sex. If you like literature and art, then go to the British Museum Library. I am a member of both libraries, which is higher than QQ membership. I don’t know where to go. I'll take you to the members' area of ??the museum to have a try. In the ocean of knowledge, art and history, you can enhance your body, mind and soul and inject positive energy.

Others show off their wealth, but I show off my beauty! How beautiful am I?!

1. Snow White’s stepmother is looking for me all over the world.

2. If beauty can be eaten, no one will be hungry in the world, because I can feed the whole world.

3. My ID card photo is used as a profile picture by many people.

4. Help me think of a reason to reject a handsome guy without hurting him. Urgent, wait online.

5. Ever since I posted a selfie in the space, Tencent has automatically recharged me as a super member every month.

6. I have been looking for the most common camera. Why do people say I have photoshopped my photos no matter how I take them?

7. Girls all use my photos to get plastic surgery.

8. In Chinese class, the teacher told us about the meaning of beauty. I couldn’t understand it. My deskmate handed me a mirror. When I looked at it, I suddenly realized.

9. The return rate is too high, causing traffic accidents as soon as I go out! The traffic police advised me not to go out if nothing happened, and to wear a mask when going out.

10. It’s actually very painful to be so beautiful, because I don’t dare to smile. Once I smile, I’ll be all over the city, and if I smile again, I’ll be all over the country. ;