Complete works of cold jokes. More than 20. It's impossible not to laugh! ! ! !

1. A female colleague and a male colleague in the office can't beat each other. She picked up the perfume and sprayed it on her clothes, then smiled and said, "I'll wait for your daughter-in-law to fight with you tonight!" "

2. A flat-chested girl is decorating the house at home. The quality of the construction team's work is so poor that my father quarreled with them! The girl came to stop the fight. Dad said, "You just came, lie down!" " "Dad pointed to the girl and shouted at the construction director." See? This is Ping! Is your floor tile also called Ping? ! "

Touch screens are popular in mobile phones and computers now. A friend expressed special emotion: "With the rapid development of science and technology, it is hard to say which day TV will touch the screen." Another friend said, "You are so stupid! If you have a remote control, do you want to poke it with your finger? "

I asked my daughter, "Did you call my father? Going home for dinner tonight? " She said, "I called my father and an aunt answered." My heart sank and I was unhappy. The daughter continued: "Aunt said:' The line you dialed is busy, please redial later. "

One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend. He kept crying and crying, and he was so sad that he was going to sprout.

10. A colleague got under the desk and soon screamed: "That's it, I pressed the wrong button, I pressed the wrong main switch of all computer patch panels!" Everyone was surprised: "but our computer is still on?" ! "A colleague's voice came from under the desk:" My hand was not raised, and the whole office was silent for two seconds! " !" "Turn it off! ! Turn it off! ! ! ""help! ! ""You hold on, hold on! "

1 1. Chatting with my boyfriend, when it comes to rising, my saliva splashed all over his face. Then instinctively wipe it off by hand. I was a little embarrassed, but I deliberately shifted my focus and pretended to be angry: "What? Don't like me, "he said with a gentleman's smile. "No, wipe it evenly!"

12. In the past, the school said that it was necessary to have a physical examination and a stool test, and then everyone took a little. Then an alumnus put it in Chow Tai Fook's bag and box. Then I was robbed by a motorcycle driver halfway through.

13. Girlfriend has small breasts. We bury her every day. One day, she finally couldn't bear it, yelling at us: "I don't care if my breasts are small, I'll follow my dad, whatever!"

14. Today, I took my family to swim on the beach in Jinshan City, mainly playing with sand with children. In the process of piling sand, the lifeguard (commander) on the distant high platform shouted with a megaphone: Parents with children should pay attention, please take good care of their children, especially those with their own children and other people's wives, please don't leave them aside, I can see that!

15. In other words, I have a female colleague named Li Rui and a male colleague named Li.

16. Two colleagues had a fight today. At first, they chatted happily. Later, colleague A said angrily, "The ghost was still barking next door in the middle of the night yesterday. I have scolded them before! " ""Oh, "colleague B asked after a short pause." Did you scold the next door? "Colleague A didn't answer, and colleague B asked," I said you scolded the next door? " Colleague A got up after hearing angry words: "Fuck you! "So?