Why can’t I always see children working hard but always playing?

First of all, it is understandable that you hope that your son will succeed and your daughter will succeed. This is also the common wish of parents all over the world. But you may be too impatient and always see your children playing, so you have to moisturize things quietly. If you push too hard, it may be counterproductive.

Secondly, it is children’s nature to love to play. We are all people who have been through this and we must understand and respect children. Don’t hit and scold them all the time. Use less condescending preaching and more communication with your children. Less messy training and more correct and scientific guidance.

Again, parents are their children’s first teachers. Your words and deeds play a very important role in their children’s growth. Don’t just talk, you must be strict with yourself and lead by example. Let your children learn from childhood. Develop good study habits and a correct study attitude.

When I saw your question, I thought of my childhood. My mother had always attended parent-teacher conferences since I was a child. Both my parents were farmers, and their education level was only a junior high school degree. The expectations for me were quite high when I was a child, but I did work very hard when I was a child. I am a girl. I am very partial to subjects. I can get full marks in English and good Chinese scores, but I am not afraid of your jokes. My math scores are a mess. Before the third grade of junior high school, my scores were good, even though I was not good at math. , but English and Chinese can pull me back, so that my overall ranking is okay. But after the third grade of junior high school, physics and chemistry were added, and I was very poor in science... In the end, I just couldn't get back... Once, in the third grade of junior high school, my class had more than 30 students, and there were 60 children in one class. My mother went to hold a parent-teacher meeting for me. I felt very uncomfortable and wanted to find a crack in the ground to crawl in...

But I will never forget my mother's words. If you are first in the class, you will be last. , my mother gave me enough respect and never scolded me in front of my classmates and teachers. Makes me very happy. From then on, I worked harder than before... When I entered high school in the fourth year of junior high school, my grades were poor, but my parents did not give up. They always encouraged me and cheered me up. By the end of the fourth grade of junior high school, there were some children with poor grades whose teachers were unwilling to take care of them, so they persuaded their parents to go to that kind of vocational school, including me. But my parents didn't give up and found a teacher to let me continue studying in school. I was really touched at the time. After turning off the lights at night, I used a flashlight to study on the quilt. If I wasn’t good at science, I would memorize formulas and ensure accuracy on every question I knew how to solve. My parents expected me to get into high school as I wished, but even my teachers found it incredible. (If we didn’t pass the exam, we could have spent money to buy it 10 years ago for 12,000 yuan.) I remember that after I passed the exam, my mother told me that if you pass the exam, you can save a whole house of cotton money... because my parents are farmers and work hard. A year's cotton harvest can be sold for this amount of money. I will never forget this scene and my parents’ encouragement and guidance.

My own experience tells me that parents should give more guidance. As a mother myself, I feel that parents should not have too high expectations for their children, and the most important thing is to fully respect their children. Encouragement is more effective than any education. You can try another method

Playing is a child’s nature. Parents should control their emotions at all times and not lose their temper. Losing temper all the time will cause serious rebellious psychology in the child. The child will not only be disobedient, but will also be unable to achieve good results. Parents can change their mood, change their previous thoughts and attitudes, use warmth and care, actively accept the characteristics and needs of their children, communicate and interact with their children more, and encourage and praise them instead of scolding them. When children are optimistic, parents make clear decisions about their children's learning requirements, but do not adopt mandatory control. In order to cultivate children's self-confidence, self-esteem, self-discipline, strong and courageous learning attitude, parents must set an example and strictly demand themselves in all aspects of life, so that they must do what they say and what they do.

This is a good example for children!

Expand the question and meet a parent who is anxious but very humorous

"The child is playing, procrastinating, and doesn't want to study..." "You are making progress every day" [呲Teeth]

Forgive me for disagreeing with your one-sided statement. Is the child really as you described? Or maybe your child is making progress but you just don’t see it?

Besides, who is born to only want to study and not play? Why is it so slow? Slow work pays off

In terms of study alone, I think the most important thing is to look at grades and results.

There are different ways to treat the same thing, and the efficiency will naturally be high or low.

The same is true for children. Different paths lead to the same goal, and the process cannot be the same. As long as the final result is good, he can be free to innovate on the basis of school learning.

In fact, in real life, there are many parents with the same mentality. My husband is a typical parent of this type. He says every day that his children "don't work hard, don't work hard...", and he persists in saying this from elementary school to college [呲呲]; My son even said to me on the eve of the college entrance examination, "I let him play with me and I panicked!". I didn't understand, so I replied to him: "It's not your college entrance examination. I don't panic. Why are you panicking? It's unfounded! [face covering]".

I have completely different personalities from him. I have never panicked [face covering]

I think it is useless for parents to panic. The result is good, so don’t worry too much about it. Children; if their grades are not good, you can help them analyze the reasons, find out the gaps, and promote their progress.

The understanding of learning is too narrow

People often think that when children learn book knowledge

they are working hard

Sincerely appreciates

Playing and other activities

but thinks it is a waste of time

or unnecessary

Mainly ignores

The complexity and diversity of the sources of human knowledge

The long-term and multiple nature of the human enlightenment process

Book knowledge

can both enrich Children's knowledge level

can also develop the potential of the human brain

and promote human wisdom

Likewise

Play

It also stimulates the potential of the brain

It also accumulates knowledge and experience

It also soothes the soul with a strong body

It is also essential in the process of enlightenment. Few extremely important links

Children wander in the ocean of knowledge

Children are intoxicated in game activities

Combination of the two

Coordination and integration

Children can promote comprehensive and healthy growth

Be confident

Meet the challenges of the future

The most taboo

Put effort and play into opposition and confrontation

Go against the child's nature

Suppress the child's development

Lay many hidden dangers

p>

It also deviates from the rules of children's growth

Therefore, once parents are biased

they will delay their children for a lifetime

#灵远长长#

p>

Why do some parents just can’t see their children’s efforts? 1. Parents have high expectations, and their children’s behavior or achievements do not meet the parents’ set goals.

Such parents are picky and only look at the results, not the process. This type of parents will think that if you work hard, you will definitely gain something. If there is no gain, it must not be hard enough.

When a child works hard but does not get satisfactory results from his parents and fails to achieve the goals set by his parents, in the eyes of such parents, the child's efforts are in vain, equivalent to no effort. Without good results, whatever the child does is wrong. 2. Lack of communication between parents and children

Some children don’t like to talk to their parents, and will only work hard silently and follow their own pace. Parents do not communicate with their children in a timely manner. They only yell at their children to study or read books when they are resting. However, the child may have studied for a while and just wants to take a rest. The parents’ words urging them to study may arouse the child’s rebellious psychology. The child will use confrontational methods to reply to the parents. In this way, both parties will understand each other even less. Psychologically, parents do not understand their children, and children will not understand their parents. In the eyes of children, parents only let them learn, while in the eyes of parents, children only know how to play. 3. Parents and children have different standards for measuring effort

Some parents have strict requirements on themselves and are quite self-disciplined. For example, they get up at five in the morning to read English, do not watch TV but only read books, and work late at night. Or parents see other children going to the library on weekends and going home to do homework as soon as school is over. In the eyes of parents, this kind of effort is called hard work. For children, as long as they succeed in their daily homework, it doesn't matter when they do it; if they can sacrifice two hours of playing with friends on weekends to study, that's a lot of hard work. Parents and children have different understandings and measurement standards for the word "effort", so differences will naturally arise - children think they work hard, but parents think their children are lazy. 4. Children are indeed inferior to other children in some aspects

Some children are introverted and do not like to move, but parents just want to change this in their children and enroll them in sports such as Taekwondo, basketball, and football. The child doesn't like it, has no talent, and will not get good results no matter how hard he works. Naturally, he can't compare with other children in this aspect, and the parents think that the child has such poor results because he doesn't work hard. He even said directly to the child: "You have the same two legs and hands as others, so why can others do it but you can't? It must be because you don't work hard enough."

In short, there should be more dialogue between parents and children. Through communication, parents should participate in the process of their children's efforts. Parents can also remind them in a timely manner when their children's efforts are in the wrong direction and method.

Qualified parents will lead by example and work hard with their children, instead of making sarcastic remarks, attacking their children, and increasing communication barriers with their children.

I guess there are several situations:

First, when the child starts to play after finishing studying, and you happen to see him playing, you will think The child is playing all the time and not learning.

Second, when the child is studying there, you will think that the child is pretending. Therefore, the child will think that you don’t trust him no matter what he does, so he will wait for you to supervise him before learning.

In fact, parents should give more positive affirmation and trust to their children's learning abilities.

In addition, being able to play is an ability. The better he is at playing, the more creative he is and the more flexible his reactions are, as long as he is guided in a timely manner.

Because I have too many worries and anxieties in my heart, I want to alleviate them by changing my child's behavior, but this is unlikely to be effective. Just like a cold, it's no use just wiping your nose desperately. You have to figure out whether it's a cold with wind-cold or a cold with wind-heat, and then prescribe the right medicine.

If you can't control your emotions when you see your child's behavior, it must be your own problem. Your child's behavior only triggers your inner anxiety and anger. If you are not aware of this, your impulsiveness may lead to tragedy.

Therefore, it is the parents who really need to grow up.

You have a common problem among Chinese parents - anxiety disorder. It is the nature of children to love to play. Procrastination, not wanting to learn, and being very slow in everything are common problems of children. Parents do not need to get angry because of this. He is just a child, and it is impossible for him to do everything as you want.

Now that you are a parent, don't say anything about regrets. Educating your children will not only test your love and patience, but also your tolerance for your children. It takes ten years to cultivate trees and a hundred years to cultivate people. Education is a very sacred matter and has a long way to go. You must not rush it, kill the seedlings and encourage them to grow, or even do something that you will regret for the rest of your life.

Try to think about it from the perspective of a child. It is indeed not easy for children nowadays. At such a young age, they carry such heavy schoolbags and go to school from early in the morning to late at night. They also have to attend various so-called interest classes on weekends. In cram school, there is actually not much time left for them to play. If you fail to do a small thing, you will be criticized by adults. If you do not finish your homework on time, you will be criticized. If you fail to do well in the exam, you may be beaten. You will always compare your children with others, and your children's enthusiasm will be dampened again and again. , things that could have been done well are not done well amidst your scolding. Adults still long to be affirmed and recognized at work, let alone a child.

A child is a relatively independent individual. He is not an accessory of his parents, nor is he the private property of his parents. You must not impose your will on your child; your child will have his own life in the future, and his life The road must be walked by oneself, and no one, including parents, can replace it. What parents need to do is to provide necessary help and support to their children on the road of growth, so as not to let their children go astray and avoid detours.

Having said so much, you may think that I am standing and talking without back pain. In fact, I am also the father of a sophomore in high school. Looking back on the seventeen-year growth path of my child, we are really heartbroken. , there are too many difficulties. It is said that after entering the second year of high school, children should be sensible and know how to work hard, but this is not the case. To be honest, I am also a patient with anxiety disorder. But anxiety will not help in the end. All I can do every day is to urge and nag.

The eagerness to have a successful child is causing trouble, coupled with the competition in the general environment. Besides, it is a child’s nature to love to play, and children are constantly absorbing knowledge while playing. One hundred thousand whys is a good proof!