Ask for 20 jokes

Sister Gu: [Moriyama, do you eat rice? ]

Do you eat, sir? )

Male guest: [? .......]

Sister Gu: [Moriyama, can you shoot a fine shot? Sir, can you write a drink? )

Male guest: [er .........................................................................................................................................................................

Gu Mei: [Moriyama, do you want a bird massage? Press the bell, you can lift it ...] (foot massage ... hammer ...)

Authentic Chaozhou cuisine …

Guest: "Dude, what do you recommend? ! "

Dude: "Eat mouse platter", including mouse eggs, mouse intestines and mouse pig ears, but "eat mouse goose" (bittern platter).

Shenzhen McDonald's …

Customer in Hong Kong: No, it's a pork tenderloin burger. "

Shop assistant: I want eggs. 〞

Hong Kong guest: "No eggs!" ! 〞

The clerk was so tired: "Do you want eggs? ! 〞

Hong Kong guests start? Yuck: I don't want eggs, I just want a pork tenderloin burger! 〞

The clerk is more tired: "You want an egg, you want an egg in ten minutes ..."

(I have to wait)

immigration office ...

Tourist: "Do you want a new animal card?"

(ID card for birth certificate? )

Bus stop ...

Tourist: Moriyama. Do you have hemorrhoids? (There are loose papers to sing)

on / in the street ...

Tourist: [Excuse me, where is the Dwarf Village? ] (G2000)

Digital communication …

Tourist: [Can this pipe catch lightning? ]

Shop assistant: [No, good safety rack …]

Tourist: [Is there no lightning display function? ! ] (Caller ID)

Shop assistant: [mobile phones don't need lightning rods ~]

Tourist: [Can my mobile phone work] (Trade-in)

Fengze electric appliance …

A tourist: Excuse me, does this TV set have a TV stand? discount

Shop assistant: Of course. 〞

A tourist: How much is the TV stand? "

Salesman: "I'm embarrassed to buy it on the shelf, but I need a TV stand."

Tourist B: "Excuse me, Ben, the branch of forbearance?"

Besides, how many guard rooms do you have? (copier, toilet)

Hairstylist: [Miss, do you want a haircut? ]

Miss: [Master, how many D's you cut with me! ]

Hairstylist: [Have you ever been married? ? ! ]

Miss: [It's not a spirit likeness, it's a spirit likeness! ! ] (hierarchical)

Hairstylist: [Miss, do you want to do D color? ]

Miss: I want to look like a forest! ] (dark blue)

Hairstylist: [Forest? ]

Miss: [Yes ~ ~]

One day, a gray-white female rabbit walked into a forest and got lost.

Fortunately, it met a white male rabbit.

So the mother rabbit asked the white rabbit, brother, how can I go out?

White Rabbit: Want to know? Then make me happy.

The white rabbit solved the urgent need and told the mother rabbit: Go straight from here, turn left, turn left, turn left again, turn right after seeing a big tree, and then turn left, and you can go.

The mother rabbit forgot how to get to the big tree.

Fortunately, it met a black rabbit again.

So the mother rabbit asked the black rabbit, brother, how can I go out?

Black Rabbit: Want to know? Then make me happy.

The black rabbit solved its needs and told the mother rabbit: turn right here, then turn left, and you can go.

The mother rabbit left and gave birth to three little rabbits a few months after returning home.

Do you know what color they are? Three white ones? Wrong. Three black ones? Wrong. Three gray ones? Wrong. 1 gray 1 white 1 black? Not right either!

Do you want to know?

If you were a meteor, I would chase you,

If you were a satellite, I would wait for you.

If you were a star, I would fall in love with you.

unfortunately ...

You are an orangutan ~ I can only see you in the zoo! !

Alas ~ what a pity! !

I'm so confused now ~ I don't know what I'm thinking. !

My brain is bored to death! ! I really don't know what to do.

Can you tell me? I really don't know ...

Do you want to eat Regan Noodles or Q barrel noodles?

Thank you for being with me when I was most frustrated.

Give me a hand when I need it most,

A thousand words can't be finished ~

I just want to tell you: "since I met you ... nothing good has happened!" You really take the game seriously! 」

I'm sorry! ! Text you so late ~

If it bothers you, I'll tell you. ...

"Serves you right"! !

Who told you to go to bed earlier than me ~

Meeting you is the beginning of my heart;

Falling in love with you is my happy choice;

Having you is my most precious wealth;

Stepping into the red carpet is my eternal motivation.

Forever love ~ it's you

Unfortunately ... I sent it to the wrong person! !

Because of you, I believe in fate;

Because of you, I believe in past lives.

Maybe it's all destiny takes a hand,

Pull us together,

Now I really want to say ...

What crime did I commit in my last life? !

Starting tomorrow,

The city government decided to remove all ugly faces,

Young people with mental retardation who are harmful to the city!

Hurry up and pack your things,

Go out and find a place to hide,

Don't tell anyone that I informed you.

Remember, you're welcome

If the government stipulates that a person can only be kind to one person in his life,

I'd rather be you.

Till death do us part, I have no regrets!

But the government has no regulations ... then forget it!

It is a happy thing to miss you;

Nice to meet you;

Loving you is what I will always do;

Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing.

But? 6? 4? 6? 4? 6? four

I lied to you, and it just happened!

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away;

I wrote your name on the beach, but it was washed away by the sea;

I wrote your name in every corner. ...

X I was taken away by the police!

(x is an indecent word! So mosaic! )

If being good-looking is a mistake ... I made a big mistake.

If loveliness is a crime ... I have committed a heinous crime.

It's really hard to be human ... you'll be fine ~

Yes and innocent ~ I envy you to death! !

When the white clouds pass by, it is the trace of my missing you;

When the sun shines, that's my miss for you;

When it rains, it is proof that I miss you;

When it thunders, it's when I pray to heaven that you are hit.

If I burn incense and meet you in a year,

It took three years to get to know you.

Ten years of burning incense can cherish you,

For the happiness of my next life,

I do ...

Convert to Christianity! !