The complete works of humorous jokes in one sentence

The complete works of humorous jokes in one sentence

A humorous little joke encyclopedia, everyone likes people who have a sense of humor at ordinary times, which will make people very happy and feel very happy. It is also good for couples to have some jokes to make girls happy when they quarrel. Let's share a humorous little joke encyclopedia.

In a word, Xiao Qiang stole 100 yuan from home. After being caught by his father, he was beaten up. After typing, ask him: my money is locked in the drawer. How did you steal it? He replied, very simple. Fold a piece of hard paper into a long strip and paste it. That's what you stuck to it. I was beaten again. That's great.

2. trick or treat! The little boy opened the door and saw his favorite little girl standing at the door. He awkwardly touched the empty pocket, got up the courage to kiss her, and then asked, is it sweet? Little girl: Go away and make my face water.

I went to a bar last night and suddenly saw a boy in a hat look familiar. At first glance, isn't it my son? Look, he's running away. I said, boy, stop in the middle of the night and go clubbing. The son replied nervously, Dad, you mistook me for someone else.

4, two boys fight, a boy was knocked down, got up and ran, ran out of a unconvinced shouting at each other: hit you but I will clean up your dad! Then he gave himself a loud slap in the face.

There are two flies in the room, playing with the pyramid. At this time, my roommate got angry and took the book directly. It's almost Singles Day. You two animals also show love in front of me. Who gave you courage! Even if you show your love, you still keep flapping your wings for fear that others will not know.

I went to the supermarket to buy lollipops. I took out one and stuffed it in my mouth. The salesgirl stared at me doubtfully, and I quickly explained: Don't worry, it doesn't matter if you eat first, it's not like I don't give money. She nodded, still puzzled: but you. Why did you pull it out of my mouth?

7. I met a beautiful woman on the road to chat up. I like you! Psycho! So who do you like? Psycho! . This happiness came too suddenly!

8. Just after dinner, there was a couple sitting opposite the roadside shop. The girl got up and went out after eating. The boy pulled the plate and ate the leftovers without saying a word, and instantly felt full of love. After a while, the girl came back with a bottle of drink, looked at the clean plate and said to the boy, damn it, you robbed me of my meal before I finished eating. .

9. I asked the goddess of southerners: guess a riddle. The pear is crooked. Into what? Crooked pear. I love you too.

10, the second-rate boyfriend is eating at the table, and a bug smells delicious. The boyfriend gave it a small clip, and when he was full, he said to the bug, Are you full? Go on the road when you are full, and then slap yourself to death.

1 1, Lu Yu's first love, I'm so sorry. I said, well, if we weren't poor, we might have been together. She said: I remember your conditions were ok at that time. I shook my head: I said you.

12, Singles Day is coming, only once a year. Oh, action is better than action. What are you waiting for? Pick up the phone and break up with your partner!

13 and double 1 1 are coming. Recommend some good songs, break up, happy break up, good break up, strong break up, laugh break up, painless break up, break up with the world, break up with her, it's no big deal, break up peacefully, break up after dawn.

14. Yesterday, I met my good friend Wang Xing. We haven't seen each other for more than a year. I asked him what had happened when I saw his pale face. Why is his face so white? He said: anemia, there have been too many paternity tests recently.

15, two people are dating, the man is very shy, and he waited for a long time to introduce himself to the woman: you. . . Hello, my last name is Leng, but I am very enthusiastic. . . With that, the woman left.

In short, I bought melon seeds, preserved fruits and potato chips for my husband to quit smoking. Seeing fewer and fewer snacks, I asked my husband how the effect was. He said: "Smoking while eating snacks really feels much better than dry smoking."

I bought a white rhinestone hairpin, which is the same as what Kim Hee Seon often wears. After I bought it, I immediately put it on my head and asked my husband happily, "Do I look like Kim Hee Seon?" The husband took a look and said, "It's like covering your face." When I got home, the more I thought about it, the more angry I became. I kept pestering my husband: "Who do I look like if I don't cover my face?" The husband said excitedly, "Sister Ma, an idle person!"

My husband asked me, "Wife, if I have any incurable patients, will you abandon me?" I said, "Nonsense, do you think I will be widowed for you?" Husband is silent. After a pause, my husband said, "When you leave, can you buy some beer and soak me in it?"

One day, I was nursing my baby, and suddenly my toes itched a little. I put out my foot to call my husband: honey, my third toe itches, please help me catch it. The husband came up to him and said, "Is it the third one on the left or the third one on the right?" I replied helplessly: "You count."

I bought a dress, walked around the house in it and asked my husband back, "Is this dress nice?" The husband said, "It looks good, but you have another one that looks better than this." "Which one?" "apron." "Yes, but women are reluctant to wear the most beautiful clothes-you are still cooking today."

At noon, my husband stared at me carefully for a long time and said, "A woman who doesn't do housework can never be beautiful." He came back late at night, so I had to cook. My husband looked at me seriously for a long time and said, "Women who do housework are always beautiful, but you are an exception." Then I went on strike.

7. I don't know why I quarreled with my husband when I was knitting a scarf for him. I told him in a rage, "I won't knit you a scarf!" " "Then who are you knitting for?" My husband glared at me. "Tube wear! I won't give it to you even if I donate it to the disaster area! " "Donate to the disaster area?" The husband frowned: "I dislike your craft alone, so why bother the people in the disaster area?"

8. I came home from work and found my wife in a bad mood. The result was a close fight and an unpleasant quarrel. Everything I did was wrong. At night, things didn't get better, so I suggested that I go out and pretend to have just arrived home, and then everything would start over. The wife agreed. After I went out, I came in and said, "honey, I'm back!" " "She snapped," where have you been just now? It's 10.

9. Husband: "I don't understand why women don't pay attention to cultivating temperament, read more books and enrich their inner beauty. They always like to go to beauty salons to maintain their skin and spend their time on superficial external beauty?" Wife: "That's because most men are superficial, but they are rarely blind."

10, wife: "Why do you always call me stupid?" Husband: "Men like to say that the woman they like is stupid." "Why?" "I am very happy to find the same kind."

1 1, I seldom cook soup at home, only make tomato and egg soup. I remember being praised by my husband that it was super delicious with pancakes. Yesterday, I remembered that the mushroom soup in a hotel was good, so I bought mushrooms, cut some shredded pork and onions, and cooked a pot of soup according to the gourd painting. My husband picked up a bowl and wolfed it down. I asked, "Is the soup delicious?" He said, "Well, delicious, tomato and egg soup is really delicious!" " "

12, I don't know what to eat at night, and my husband suggested flipping a coin. Husband: "look up, we eat fish, look down, we cook." As a result, coins were thrown downstairs. The husband said, "Then let's ... go out to eat."

13, my husband asked me seriously, wife, have you found that you have become beautiful recently? I felt smug, suppressed my excitement and said, no, and then he said seriously, well, yes!

14, my husband taunted me: "Your hair is tied up like a kitchen appliance-a pot washer." I glanced at my husband's "self-invited paper" and laughed at him: "Yours is not like a brush, but also like a kitchen utensil." My husband opened his eyes wide and asked, "What utensils?" Me: "steel ball!" "

15, one day, my spoiled husband said, "Husband, take me to the washing machine!" "My husband looked at me and said weakly," Let me help you with the washing machine. It is lighter. "