Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - White classical Chinese after Sui Dynasty
White classical Chinese after Sui Dynasty
There is a man named Hou Bai in Fujian who is good at calculating and deceiving others. People in Siliba Township hate and fear him, and no one dares to compete with him. One day, he met a woman named Hei on the road. She stood by the well, pretending as if she had lost something. Hou Bai asked her strangely. Hougang: "Unfortunately, I dropped my earring in the well, which is worth about 120 gold. If anyone can catch it, I'll thank you in half. Don't you want to do it? " Hou Bai pondered for a long time and came up with an idea. He said, "One of your women has lost her earrings. If she catches it, she must give me half, otherwise I won't give it to you. " So she promised him. Hou Bai took off his clothes by the well and went down. Houhei estimated that Houbai had arrived at the wellhead, so he took all Houhei's clothes away and didn't know where to put them. So now Fujian people call those who calculate each other and say, "I'm already like Hou Bai, and he's more like Hou Hei."
Commentary: According to this story, we can know that the folk proverb "I am white, I am darker" means: "I wanted to earn him, but I didn't expect him to." Zhao Zhou used this proverb to mean: "I wanted to investigate him, but I didn't expect to be investigated by him." Or: "I thought I was smart, but he was better than me." Obviously, "it must be called Hou Hei and Hou Bai" means "strong in China".
2. After Hou Bai translated Tai Ping Guang Ji (Volume 247) and Qi Yan Lu Wei Shiren in Sui Dynasty, when Wei Xiaowen became emperor, princes and nobles took many stone medicines, all of which were called stone hair. Those who are hot, those who are not rich, are also hot, and many people think that they are cheating for wealth. There was a man lying in front of the city gate, turned around and said it was hot, because everyone was scrambling to see it. The companion scolded it and reported, "I have a stone hair." The companion said, "When will you serve the stone? Today is Stonefur. " "I bought rice in the market yesterday. There are stones in the rice, and food is the present. " Everyone laughed. Since then, few people have said that they have stone hair.
After Emperor Xiaowen of Wei, many princes and nobles took mineral pills such as lead and mercury, claiming that they were hot after taking them. Some people claim that they are not rich after eating stone pills. At that time, many people hated these people and lied that they were rich. Once, a man was lying on the street in front of the market, tossing and turning, claiming that he had a fever after taking stone medicine, which attracted many people to watch. The partner who came with him accused him of pretending to be rich and told him, "I'm hot, too." The man asked, "When did you take the stone medicine?" The companion replied, "I bought rice in the market yesterday." There are stones in the rice. After eating, it is hot now. " The onlookers burst into laughter when they heard this. Since then, few people claim that they have a fever after taking calculus medicine.
3. Zou Bingtai translated classical Chinese in the Qing Dynasty, with a volume of 35 1 and a biography of 138. Zou Bingtai transmitted the original text of Zou Bingtai, whose name was Wen Zhong, from Wuxi, Jiangsu.
In the thirty-seventh year of Qianlong, he was a scholar, selected Jishi Shu, awarded the editor-in-chief, compiled Sikuquanshu, and moved to imperial academy. Because at the end of the Yuan Dynasty and the beginning of the Ming Dynasty, Chinese studies were not harmonious, and soldiers and Taiwan helped the ancient system.
In forty-eight years, Emperor Gaozong released the ceremony and built Biyong. After more than two years, this ceremony was called the Grand Ceremony.
Looking for the ice platform as a drink offering. He joined the cabinet with a bachelor's degree and studied politics in Shandong and Jiangxi.
In the fourth year of Jiaqing, he was awarded the assistant minister of the ritual department and transferred positions to eliminate the accumulated disadvantages. Yan Peitian, who was sitting in the grain hall, went without leave and violated regulations.
For the past six years, I have been holding special discussions in Beijing. The military ship owed money for food and promised to make up for it. Those who came later recovered.
Considering that he owed money every year, Bingtai disagreed with his colleague Qing, so he played sparingly, denounced his paranoia, made him angry and stayed. It also plays the role of supervising warehouse rotation, and warehouse service is harmful. It is advisable to make it live in the official room outside the warehouse and follow it.
In ten years, Zuo Du was appointed as an imperial consultant, and was transferred to the Ministry of War as a minister and a part-time Ministry of Industry to manage the Ministry's three libraries. Eleven years, in charge of Shuntian prefect affairs.
Twelve years, the official department. Fourteen years, plus the prince and Shao Bao.
Gao Tianfeng, a warehouse official, knew that someone was stealing rice. Sitting in the warehouse for a long time, I didn't notice. He lost his palace title, lowered his hat and was dismissed to stay in office. After a long time, he recovered. Sixteen years, the Department of Commerce.
Find a college student assisted by a senior official. Bingtai has been in the official department for a long time, especially in politics.
In eighteen years, the chief officer of the Ministry of War was wrong, and Hutuli, the same official, was partial to the ministerial meeting. He firmly defended himself. Only in this way, Tai said, "I am old, why do I love Lu? Don't make the imperial laws and regulations self-destructive! " I have my own reasons. I have to pay attention to my words.
After that, two retired officials donated money, which was improperly approved. At the beginning of the assistant minister, Peng Ling's theory and opinions were different, and he was dismissed by Taitai, and he remained in office. Yao Kun, the head of the Ministry of War, was stolen in Baxianzhuang, Changping, and the land was near Gyeonggi. The officials were incompetent and could not cure the theft. Bingtai is also in charge of the prefect's affairs.
Lin Qing, a bandit, opposed the Party and lived in Gu 'an and Huangcun. He thought that the military platform was invisible to the officials, so he could allow it, praise it and make it up. I want to have a rest and come back.
Twenty-five years, pawn. Bing Tai has never been a terrible person since he entered the business, going up and down in the museum.
Pei Gong holds the palm of Wen Heng and is called a gentleman. The establishment of the dynasty is meticulous, and Renzong attaches importance to it, but it will eventually be embarrassing.
Zou Bingtai, a native of Wuxi County, Jiangsu Province. In the thirty-seventh year of Qianlong (1773), he was elected as Jishi Shu, was awarded the post of editor-in-chief (after the museum was scattered), and was (ordered) to compile the Complete Book of Siku, and was promoted to secretary of imperial academy.
Chinese studies in the Qing Dynasty followed the old system of Yuan and Ming Dynasties, and there was no imperial academy. Zou Bingtai invoked the old system to make a request (to establish imperial academy). In the forty-eighth year of Qianlong (1784), Emperor Gaozong set up food and wine in imperial academy, completed the ceremony of offering sacrifices to sages and teachers, and then wrote a letter to build the imperial academy.
Two years later, the ceremony of the emperor's visit to imperial academy began, which was called the grand ceremony at that time. Soon, Zou Bingtai was promoted to propose a toast to imperial academy.
Now he has been promoted to a bachelor's degree in cabinet and studied politics in Shandong and Jiangxi provinces. In the fourth year of Jiaqing (1800), he served as assistant minister of the ritual department and was transferred to the warehouse to eliminate the accumulated disadvantages.
(Later) Yan Peitian of the Grain Bureau was impeached and incompetent. In the sixth year of Jiaqing (1802), the imperial court inspected the official's political achievements in Beijing and gave him a special promotion and merit award.
Military ships that have been given food on credit have been allowed to make up for it, and so have those who arrived later. Zou Bingtai took into account the accumulated debts (bad debts) every year, and disagreed with his colleague Daqing (because). (So) he wrote a detailed paper, and the emperor wrote to denounce his one-sided stubbornness and arrogance, and he was demoted to stay.
He also invited (requested) the supervisor (official) to take turns to live in the warehouse, saying that the little official in charge of the warehouse should live in the house outside the warehouse, and the emperor listened to his suggestion. In the tenth year of Jiaqing (1806), he was promoted to Shi Yu, the capital of Zuodu, and later to Shangshu of Ministry of War, where he was in charge of Ministry of Industry and managed the third library of Ministry of Industry.
In the 11th year of Jiaqing (1807), he was also in charge of the affairs of Shuntian prefect. In the 12th year of Jiaqing (1808), he was transferred to the official department.
In the 14th year of Jiaqing (18 10), he was given the title of Prince Shao Bao. Gao Tianfeng, the official in charge of the warehouse, was exposed for stealing rice. Because he was a warehouse manager for a long time but didn't notice this, he was deprived of his position in the East Palace, lowered his second-class hat, dismissed and stayed in office, and it took him a long time to recover.
In the 16th year of Jiaqing (18 12), he served as the minister of the household department. Soon, he served as the co-founder of the university as an official minister.
Zou Bingtai has served in the official department for a long time, especially in selecting and appointing officials. In the eighteenth year of Jiaqing (18 14), due to the mistake of the chief of the military selection department, colleague Hu Tuli listened to the opinions of the competent officials and insisted on defending him.
Zou Bingtai strongly advised: "I am very old, how can I be reluctant to pay?" You can't corrupt the laws of the imperial court from me! "I told the story myself, and the emperor felt that what he said was right, and finally Hutuli was dismissed. Soon after, two officials who were demoted and dismissed opposed the post after approval because of donations. Peng Ling, assistant minister of Chu, disagreed with him, so he heard about the emperor. The emperor reprimanded Zou Bingtai for not having a definite view and demoted him to stay.
Another thief hijacked Yao Kun, the minister of war, in Baxianzhuang, Changping County. The emperor wrote that Zou Bingtai was removed from the post of prefect because the place was close to the capital area, and the officials were mediocre and inferior, which could not stop the bandits. When Lin Qingzhi's rebellion happened, the rebels lived in Gu 'an and Huangcun. Zou Bingtai was investigated when he was in office, and was demoted to Zhong Yun and Zanshan.
I will retire soon and go back to my hometown. Jiaqing twenty-five years (182 1), died.
Zou Bingtai started as a high-ranking scholar, but he didn't climb the gate of the imperial court and floated in the library. It was a long time before he became a senior official second only to Xiang Qing. He has been in charge of the Ministry of Rites for many times and has been praised as a sage.
When he was an official in North Korea, he did not hesitate. Renzong (Emperor Jiaqing) in Qing Dynasty valued him very much, but he was eventually demoted. Note 1, Jishi Shu: official names of Ming and Qing Dynasties.
There were six subjects in Jishi Shu in the early Ming Dynasty. In the eighteenth year of Hongwu, he made all the officials examine politics and practice their merits.
Those close to the yamen, such as imperial academy and Yu Jian, adopted the meaning of "being an ordinary scholar" in the book and renamed it Jishi Shu. After Yongle, imperial academy enjoyed it exclusively, and was selected by scholars who were excellent in literature and good at books.
After three years, the examination will be conducted, and those with excellent results will be awarded editorial posts respectively; The rest were given to important people, advisers or state and county officials. This is the so-called "scattered museum". The Ming Dynasty attached importance to Hanlin, not that Hanlin did not enter the cabinet after a calm. Therefore, when Jishi Shu started to enter, he was already in this group.
Qing Dynasty and Ming Dynasty, in the Imperial Academy.
4. Legend has it that during a trip after Sui Guojun saw an injured snake on the roadside in great pain, and he developed sympathy with Hou Xin, making people wrap it up and put it back in the grass. After recovering, the serpent took the night pearl to the residence of the late Lord and said, "I am the son of the Dragon King. I am grateful for saving my life, and I have come to repay you." This is the so-called "pearl in the snake".
Related idioms
Pearl jade (also known as "pearl jade"): describes the best among treasures.
Playing with pearls: a metaphor for doing things improperly is not worth the loss.
Huai Nan Zi and Sou Shen Ji after the Han Dynasty will remember the story of the late master in more detail. In the Spring and Autumn Period, the state-owned snake mound was broken. When I was traveling with Hou, I saw the big snake break in two. I saw that its snake was a little supernatural, so I ordered my followers to take medicine for treatment, and the snake moved immediately. This place is called "Broken Snake Mountain". A year later, the snake came to repay Sui Hou with a pearl. "The pearl is full of pure white, and the night is as bright as the moon, which can be used as a candle room. Therefore, it is called "Sui Houzhu", also known as "Snake Pearl" and "Bright Moon Pearl". There is a pool with Dr. (Liang). " What form does the snake take to send pearls? People say that when they were in the same boat with Hou, they were caught in a storm, and a big snake showed a big bead in the water. The other is that I dreamed in the middle of the night that a big snake was holding a pearl to repay my kindness. When I woke up, I saw a pearl as bright as day indoors.
5. Hou Bai's ingenious debate on the translation of the classical Chinese version of "Huai Zi Diao Zhi" in "Qi Yan Lu"
Hou Bai agility, once and riding a horse, there is a locust tree by the side of the road, gaunt, dying, said:
"Brother Hou, what can you do to bring this tree back to life?"
Hou Bai said: "Take the seeds of Sophora japonica and hang them on the branches to live."
Su Yang asked, "Why?" Hou Bai answered, "The Analects of Confucius" said, "How dare you die here?
"
("Zi" refers to Confucius and "Hui" refers to his disciples.
)
This is a joke with homophonic allusions in The Analects. Landlord, if you really want to save a locust tree in real life, you'd better not use this method. ...
If we have to say that this story has any value, we can only see that the words "Huai" and "Hui" in the ancient rhyme are homophonic. ...
6. Humorous and short classical Chinese can boast.
original text
When a person gets lost and meets a mute, he doesn't answer questions, but only gives directions by making money gestures with his hands as a sign of getting money. This person is metaphorical, that is, he uses it to count money. The dumb man opened his mouth to show the way, and the man asked, "Why don't you have the money to pretend to be dumb?" Dumb: "In today's world, talk if you have money!" "
translate
A man lost his way and met a "mute" who asked and didn't answer. The "dumb" will only ask for money with his hand, and then he will show the way. The lost man understood the meaning and immediately took out a few dollars and gave it to the "dumb". "Dumb" then opened his mouth to show the way, and the lost man asked, "Why pretend to be dumb?" "Dumb" said: "In today's world, you can talk if you have money."
Excerpted from Laughing at Guang Lin Collection, Laughing at Guang Lin Collection was collected by the owners of the famous brand games in Qing Dynasty, mostly from jokes in Ming and Qing Dynasties.
7. Chu Liang, whose real name is Mingxi, was a minister in the Tang Dynasty and a native of Yangzhai (now Yuzhou) in the Tang Dynasty, also known as Qiantang (now Yuhang, Hangzhou).
When I was a teenager, I was alert, smart, studious, well-read, good at literature and poetry, and liked to make friends with celebrities. He became famous in the Sui Dynasty. After becoming an official at the age of eighteen, in the first year of Chen Zhide (583), he met Xu Ling, the servant of Shangshu, and was appreciated.
Chen Houzhu heard and summoned, ordered people to improvise poetry, and everyone here praised him frequently, and served as an assistant minister in the hall of ministers. After Chen's death, he entered the Sui Dynasty and worked as a bachelor and doctor in the East Palace.
Great cause, Yang-ti jealous, framed implicated Yang Xuangan, demoted to Xihai county magistrate. In the 13th year of the Great Cause (6 17), Xue Ju, a captain of the Jin Dynasty, was the king, and Ren Liang was the assistant minister of Huangmen.
In the 14th year, Li Shimin, the king of Qin, destroyed Xue Ju, and after entering the Tang Dynasty, he became an instructor of Qin literature. Every time after Emperor Taizong's conquest, Liang often participated in the rebellion and fought bloody battles with the army and his entourage. At the beginning of the Tang Dynasty, Chu Liang often made suggestions on major policies at home and abroad, and once discouraged winter hunting so as not to disturb the people.
In the first year of Zhenguan (627), Du Ruhui and others 18 people were awarded the bachelor's degree in Hong Wen Pavilion, and they stayed in the Pavilion in turn to discuss military affairs. After nine years of Zhenguan, he served as a regular waiter outside the club.
After his promotion, he was appointed as a formal waiter. 16 years, promoted to Yang Zhai County Hou.
Liang strongly supported the policy of expanding territory and ordered Chu Suiliang to join the army and send troops to Turkey. After Tang patriotic, he recruited talents for the Literature Museum, and took this officer as a bachelor's degree with Du Ruhui and others, with eighteen people.
Emperor Taizong once ordered the painter Yan to paint portraits for them, and asked Liang to praise these portraits. The so-called "eighteen bachelor's * * * pictures", accompanied by titles, was a high honor at that time. After resigning, he returned to Li and was sick at home in his later years. Li Shimin also sent condolences.
/kloc-died in 0/993 and wrote 20 volumes of anthology.
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