Homophonic couplets, jokes and stories. Urgent! ! !

During World War II, there were four people in a train box: ○ 1, an old lady, ○ 2 1, a young girl, ○ 3 1, a Romanian, ○ 4 1, a German officer. The train entered a dark tunnel. There was nothing in the train except a kiss, followed by a loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, I saw the German officer sitting there with five red handprints on his face.

1 This German is out of line. How dare he bully that girl in the dark? Serve you right!

The German was up to no good. He must have wanted to kiss me, and he kissed the old lady. Serve you right!

○3 This Romanian is out of line. He kissed this girl and quickly hid, causing me to be beaten for him. This girl is too hard. It really hurts!

○4 I kissed the back of my hand and slapped the German, which was really terrible ... 2. Once my parents quarreled, my mother said angrily, "Get out of here." Father said angrily, "I'll get out!" " "

3. A friend of mine has just watched The Legend of the Condor Heroes, and he is very interested in "beating the dog to win the battle" and often plays jokes on others. One day, as usual, he. Kicked a man and shouted "kick the dog's leg!" " Everyone laughed wildly, and he felt embarrassed, so he kicked again and shouted, "Dog kicks!" " "When I was in college, it was commonplace to hog pigs in my class, and I would hog them every night. People who start to lose use their noses to arch cards, drill tables and drink cold water. It's been playing for a long time, and it's not fresh. So someone suggested that if someone lost again, they would shout "I am a pig" in the corridor. After a long time, they changed their methods and asked two people to shout together. The first person shouted "I am a pig" and the second person shouted "I am a pig". But I didn't expect the man who proposed to marry me to lose twice in a row, so he shouted at the corridor: "I am a pig, I am really a pig." The others laughed their heads off. A friend of mine told me it was even more ridiculous! The loser wants to call the girls in the class and sincerely says, "You know, there are three things I've always wanted to say to you, but it's hard to say, but I'm afraid I won't have a chance if I don't say it again. " .。 Me. . . I am a pig! "Our place is worse. The winner designates a person (usually an unwitting tiger, building manager or girl), and then the loser grabs him or her by the collar and says, "You are a pig!" " Also, the loser will run to the telephone pole with some disease advertisement and shout, "I'm cured!" " "Later, everyone called the girl and said sincerely," You know, I lied to you. In fact, I am a pig. " Once, the class teacher of a certain gentleman called to congratulate him on winning the "three good students" and just said, "XXX, do you know?" The girl said impatiently, "I know, you are a pig, and you are really a complete idiot!" " "

The doctor asked the patient how the fracture happened. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two! 6. The Chinese teacher with a strong local accent read an ancient poem named "Wochun" by Lu You to the students and asked them to dictate.

The Chinese teacher read aloud as follows. A student dictated the following.

Wo Chun, I'm stupid.

Mume smells flowers, I have no culture.

I hate the bottom, I have a low IQ,

If you hear me lying like water, ask me who I am.

Eduardo Chun Lv. A big donkey.

The coast is green, I am a donkey,

The coast is green, I am a donkey,

The coast is like a dark green. I am a stupid donkey.