Junior high school class meeting happy event joke

1. When I first entered school, the whole class introduced themselves on the platform: "My name is You Yongzhi, I come from Beijing, and I love playing chess!" Then I went down. The next one is a girl. The girl shyly stepped onto the platform and introduced herself with trepidation: "My name is Shakuyaku ... I like swimming ..."

Mr. Huang loves revolution. In memory of the Red Army, he named his son Jun. One day, he sent his son to class. When he saw that the No.8 bus stopped, he shouted to his son, "Huang Jun, run! The No.8 bus is coming!"!

3. Head nurse: "My perfume is gone! Help me find it! Everyone: "Do you still use perfume? What brand is it? Master: "Liushen, I only use that." Everyone: "awesome, I have never heard of it. What is it like?" The head nurse said, "Which one of you took the toilet water of Liushen?

I received a short message from a swindler today, asking me to remit the money to an account of China Agricultural Bank. Half an hour later, I replied conveniently: "I saved 5000 yuan, please check it." Later, I received a reply: "I went to the bank three times and haven't hit your money, you liar!" "

When I was in college, my roommate was a branch representative and taught us to be young female teachers. In other words, one day my buddy was walking on the road with a cigarette in his mouth and suddenly saw the teacher and went forward to say hello. Who knows the teacher took two steps back and said, "I'm pregnant!" (Female teachers are afraid of cigarettes) "

My buddy didn't understand the meaning, and suddenly he petrified and the smoke fell out. He said trembling, "It's not mine!" "

6. Xiao Wang works at the personnel gate on the 10 floor. A month ago, he was transferred to the administrative department on the ninth floor ... Today, Xiao Wang called the personnel department to find him: "Is Xiao Wang there?" The colleague who answered the phone said, "Xiao Wang is no longer in the personnel department." No, Wang: "Ah! ! ?" When did this happen? I don't know. I haven't had time to see him off. ""It doesn't matter, you can go down and look for him. "

7. Xiaoming was not good at math and was transferred to a missionary school by his parents. Six months later, I got straight A's in math. Mother asked, "Is the nun teaching well? Is it a good textbook? Is it a prayer? " "Neither," Xiao Ming said. "On the first day of school, I saw a person nailed to the plus sign, and I knew they were serious."

8. In the office, the tutor growled: "Nowadays, college students are so incompetent that copying porn on my computer should be cut! ! !

9. Tell you a beautiful love story: This story involves love triangle, rivers and lakes grievances, feelings for children, and religious beliefs, but it is very short, with only one sentence, "Bald donkey, dare to rob the teacher with a fork!"

10. When I was young, when I was away from home, I could tell whether I was a man or a woman. People in bad karma, what have they experienced over the years! ! ! )

1 1. If relatives and friends in Luoyang ask each other, the canoe has passed Chung Shan Man. (owe people money? Run fast enough! )

12. The mobile phone and the telephone got married and gave birth to a child named PHS, who was ugly and had poor signal. In order to find out, mobile phones and telephones took PHS for DNA testing, and the result was a big surprise: darling! It turns out that his father is a walkie-talkie!

13. An old man lost his car. When he bought a new car downstairs, he locked three locks and put a piece of paper: "Let you steal!" " The next day, the car was not lost, and two locks and a piece of paper were added: "Let you ride."

14. Which flower is the weakest, jasmine, sunflower or rose? Answer: Jasmine (a delicate [beautiful] jasmine.

15 What line do orangutans hate most? Answer: parallel lines. Parallel lines do not intersect (banana)

16. What are cloth and paper afraid of? A: cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand. (Not afraid of 10 thousand, just afraid of one thousand)

17. Once upon a time, there were two snowmen. A snowman said, I am cold, and another snowman said, I am cold, too. The other said, let's hug, so they hugged each other. Then they froze to death.

18. Which Chinese character is the coolest? G-string (cool).

19. A deer ran faster and faster on the road and turned into a highway.

One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit.

He announced: "children, we can wash the fruit together after picking it, and we can eat it together after washing."

All the children went to pick fruit.

As soon as the assembly time came, all the children got together.

Teacher: "Xiaohua, what do you have?"

Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I picked them."

Teacher: "What about you, Xiaomei?"

Xiaomei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."

Teacher: "The children are great! What about Amin? "

A-Ming: "I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped on shit."

One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

"Oh, sorry, not that much." The boss said.

"Well ..." The little white rabbit left in frustration.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"Well ..." The little white rabbit left in frustration again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out his money and said, "Great, I want two!" " "