Homophonic typo joke story

In the usual study, work and life, everyone has dealt with composition. Composition is a style composed of words, which expresses a theme through language organization after people's ideological consideration. I believe writing a composition is a headache for many people. The following is my carefully arranged humorous joke story, which is welcome for your reference and I hope it will help you.

Homophonic typo joke story 1 ● test scores

In the middle school class, the teacher of the course of socialist economic theory (hereinafter referred to as social economics) is angrily reading out the exam results: everyone failed in this exam. Obviously, you didn't spend your energy on social economics. In fact, social economics is a very simple course, and efforts will bear fruit. Look at the following results: Yang Wei failed in social economics.

● Learn English.

Xiaoming, who likes learning English, is looking for opportunities to speak English day and night.

On this day, he accidentally walked into a foreigner, and he said shyly, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." The foreigner replied.

"I'm sorry for three." Xiao Ming answered at once.

"What are you sorry for? "Asked the foreigner.

"Sorry five ..." Xiao Ming said.

● Eat standing up.

A foreign girl married to China. When eating breakfast, I was pointed out that I can't eat fried dough sticks: "Dip it."

She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!"

Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "

● Do it when you see a chicken.

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens very much. The tenant rented his land, but it was not enough to pay the rent. He must give him a chicken first.

A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag and paid the rent. Then he told the landlord about the land lease for the next year. He insisted that his hands were empty. He said, "There are no three kinds of fields." Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.

As soon as the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his tune and said, "If you don't give it to Zhang San, who will you give it to?"

Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so quickly!"

The landlord replied, "That sentence just now was' nonsense', and now this sentence is acting according to circumstances'. "

● There is a "machine".

A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After he arrives in Beijing, he wants to go there by plane. Afraid that the manager wouldn't agree to the reimbursement, he sent a telegram to the manager: "Take it when you have the chance, or don't take it." The manager received the telegram and thought it was an "opportunity" to clinch a deal. He immediately called back: "Seize the opportunity."

When the salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, the manager refused to reimburse the air ticket expenses on the grounds that he was not qualified and would not be reimbursed by plane. The salesman took out the manager's call back and the manager was dumbfounded.

● Related to place names.

On New Year's Eve, my brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One is cheerful and the other is more formal.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is from Myanmar, so he is shy." Then raise your glass to toast everyone, raise your head and drink it off, and then say, "I'm from Yangon."

● The headmaster is angry.

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel management. He said: "the person in charge of the director's business is not sensible; The consciousness of personnel management is not strong; Not an official! "

● The ears are here.

The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to hang up, he said to the master, "Go and buy me two bamboo poles."

Inquired that the "bamboo pole" in Shandong dialect was "pig liver", and quickly agreed, ran to the butcher's shop and said, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pig liver. You are a clever man.

● You should know it in your heart! "

The shopkeeper is a clever man. He immediately cut off two pieces of pig liver and gave a pair of pig ears.

Out of the butcher's shop, the master thought, "My master told me to buy pig liver, and this pig ear is mine …" So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Back to the county government, I reported to the magistrate: "Report back to Grandpa, I bought pig liver!" "

The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and quickly replied, "Ear … Ear … here … in my … pocket!" "

Homophonic typo joke story 2 Li Dazhang is afraid of his wife

Li Dazhuang, a famous scholar in Hebei Province, is very afraid of his wife. If he disobeys his wife's orders, she punishes him for sitting still, making his hair into the shape of a needle and thread plaque, putting a lamp bowl in it, and then lighting the lamp. Li Dazhuang's body did not dare to move or catch his breath, just like a dead wooden head or a clay doll. Friends who saw him punished joked with him and said, you are a lampstand at home.

One day, his wife suddenly fell ill and had to use crows as medicine. At that time, before the snow melted, it was difficult to catch crows with nets. Li Dazhuang didn't get a crow, and his wife was furious and wanted to hit him with a stick. Da Zhuang was afraid, so he stepped on the sand to lure crows with food, and only caught one.

A friend joked about him and said: saints regard phoenix as auspicious. You caught a crow and escaped your wife's beating. This crow seems to be Dark Phoenix.

feng shui

A man was dying, so his son nailed four big copper rings on the side of the coffin. When his son asked him why, he said, in the future, you have to listen to Mr. Feng Shui and move me around, so it will be much easier to move words.

The dog denies it.

Two people sit together. One of them didn't say anything, so he pretended nothing and covered his nose with his sleeve.

There happened to be a dog nearby, and the man said that the dog farted. Just then, the dog yawned, and the man said to the man, look, it still refuses to recognize it!

magnificent

There is a plum blossom painting with no inscription. Someone saw it and praised it very well. Someone asked him: Do you know who painted it? He said, Zhang Chang.

Send plaque

A man boasted that he would win the bid and said, I dreamed that a drum band was playing at night and sent a plaque to my house. One of his friends said, I also dream of sending a plaque to your home. The man asked: which four words? The friend replied: What a shame.

Spread the news with a smile.

When a new official takes office, a village head asks to give the new official 100 dogs; I bought ninety-nine, and one is missing. I couldn't buy it, so I sawed off the horn of a sheep and handed it to the dog.

Sheep are ruminants, chewing food constantly in their mouths. Seeing the sheep's mouth moving, the new official asked: Why does the dog's mouth keep moving? The captain replied that the dog was chewing maggots.

Laugh at a fool

Once upon a time, there was a thief who often had money to buy things. A fool envied him very much and once asked him: How could you steal? The thief replied: I am good at stealing for only one reason: whenever I steal other people's property, I will put a branch made of crows and magpies in my hand so that others can't see me. Fools believe what thieves say.

One day, he really went to the crow's nest, holding a branch in his hand, and then went to a family to steal property, and was caught and beaten. When being beaten, the fool also said: I was beaten down by you, and you couldn't see me.

New car

A boss bought a new car, but he was very uneasy about the driver he hired. He is worried that the driver will replace the parts of the new car with the old one to make a profit. He can't drive himself, so he has to ask the driver every move.

Once he went out by car, the car slowed down and got up soon.

"What's the matter?" The boss asked the driver.

"Nothing, sir, I just changed gears."

The boss turned to his friend next to him and whispered, "Look, he didn't even let me change gears. I must give him up. "

Homophonic typo joke story 3 regional culture

A class teacher took maternity leave, and the school arranged Mr. Li geographically to take his place. One day, the monitor found Mr. Li and complained anxiously: "The blackboard newspaper in our class has not been published this month, and the school will evaluate it next week." Please set a theme and ask everyone to provide the manuscript. "

Mr. Li thought for a moment and said, "Go back to class immediately and tell the students that this month's blackboard newspaper will take' regional culture' as the theme, and please actively contribute particularly funny homophonic jokes."

The monitor returned to the classroom and announced it widely on the blackboard: please contribute actively to the theme of this month's blackboard newspaper-hell.

Fish is on sale in the market.

In a busy market, a fish seller shouted "fresh fish". At this time, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted "bubble gum (bubble water)". Hearing this, the fish seller said to the sugar seller, "Hey, why did you say my fish was soaked in water?" The more they quarreled, the more fierce they became. Just then, a bean sprout seller shouted, "Bean sprouts (fighting)"

A security officer came up and asked, "Who else is quarreling with them?" It happened that an avocado seller shouted "avocado (come with me)." After hearing this, the security guard said, "Well, take the four of you with you."

The steel door is broken.

The door of the bathroom at home is a particularly funny homophonic joke made of plastic steel. One day, the door broke down and got stuck there, so my dad called the master who sold the door.

My dad: "Master, my steel door (anus) is broken."

Master: "Er ~ ~ Well, why don't I call you 120?"

Homophonic typo joke story 4 What happened to that beautiful woman?

Chatting with my classmates in the corridor, a beautiful female chemistry teacher passed by,

I pointed to the teacher and said to my friend, "That beautiful woman ..."

The chemistry teacher heard it. He turned around, smiled and asked, "What happened to that beautiful woman?"

I paused and answered, "Na, Mg, Al, Si, P, S, Cl, Ar, K and Ca"

Can you give me a spoon?

There used to be a monk who passed by our village looking for water and went to Aunt Wang's house.

Monk: "patroness, I'm here to beg for water."

Aunt Wang kindly took the monk to the yard: "Master, wait for me to fetch water."

The monk nodded kindly: "The benefactor is really kind. Can you give me a scoop? "

Then there was a lame monk in our town.

Gisbon

A woman went to the supermarket to buy food.

Her man said to buy a box of jasper to go home.

When the woman came home, she handed the man a box.

The man opened it: a pair of chicken wings.

The man said: I depend, I said how to change the box!

Is it cool?

A colleague came to work today and saw that his hair was short.

Me: How to cut your hair? Is it cool?

He sincerely said to me: Not 2 yuan, but 28 yuan!

Zhu Shanghai

There is a classmate in the class named Zhu Shanghai, and Tepi doesn't like studying.

Once in class, he played by himself, which influenced others.

The teacher criticized him viciously:

"You are so unlearned and want to live in Shanghai? I can't open the door when I live in the toilet. "

To find you (roommate)!

"Teacher, you wanted to see me?"

"I heard that you often have an accident recently. Did you skip class yesterday? "

"well. I did go to cut class. "

"Is it fast to use in the dormitory?"

"I am useful."

"Is there a hair dryer in the dormitory?"

"well. I am useful. "

"Oh, the teacher is wrong about you, go and call you (roommate)!"

Since I am kneeling like this, I won't buy it.

Go shopping for clothes with my girlfriend, who likes a coat.

It costs 6888 yuan to open the label.

My girlfriend is also very sensible, knowing that it is not easy for me to make money.

He turned to me and said, "Since I am kneeling like this, I won't buy it."

Sister paper, where is your brother?

Go to my buddy's house to play, and his sister opens the door.

I asked elegantly, Sister Paper, where is your brother?

Before I could say more, she subconsciously put her hand on her chest. ......

Then the door slammed and she shouted angrily, Brother!

I am a lost child.

The child got lost in the forest and met a big stupid bear.

The child said, I am a lost child. Can you take me to see my mother?

The big stupid bear nodded and took the child to the elk's house. ......

It's not good to die.

Liu Bei: "Zhao Yun. We three brothers used to be best friends. You are a good man today, count you in. "

Zhao Yun: "You'd better not."

Zhang Fei: "How can you look down on our brothers?"

Zhao Yun: "No, Brother Fei, I just don't think it's nice to call Zhao Si."

;