Why, in the end, we all live what we used to hate?

I once heard a joke: the saddest thing about people is that they have no money when they are alive. What is even sadder than this is that people still have money when they die.

I think it's all material torture. People are alive, but money is gone. In fact, they can still make money. People die, and the money is still there. You can't control it anyway! Just listen as a joke.

In fact, there are many jokes in life, such as slowly living into what I once hated most. ...

With growth, people are constantly changing. I don't think originality and originality are absolutely good and right. There are countless possibilities for the story development of different life experiences.

The so-called "I used to hate myself" happened in the past, and judging from the cognition at that time, there are many limitations.

Just like I used to think highly of myself, I hate those who are busy pursuing wealth from the bottom of my heart. Later, I discovered how great it is to make money on my own. Creating wealth makes people happy. In the past, "money was treated like dirt" because of lack of life experience, and I was used to the "bookworm" style of talking on paper and escaping from reality.

After studying psychology, from the perspective of psychoanalytic psychology, "what I once hated" may be exactly what I really look like.

Psychologist Zeng Qifeng believes that "you hate a person because he has what you have;" You often criticize a person in front of others, but subconsciously you want to get close to him. "

In psychoanalytic terms, it can be explained by "projection" and "reverse formation"

We often "project" what we have that is not accepted by ourselves. Just as many people hate people who love to show off and show off, they always feel that such people are too narcissistic. In fact, the "narcissism" they hate is exactly what they have, but they can't accept it.

"Reverse formation" is also very common. People often turn unacceptable desires and impulses in the subconscious into opposite behaviors in the consciousness. For example, Alan Chambers, the chairman of Exodus, the largest anti-gay group in the United States, has been promoting the idea that homosexuality can be treated for many years, and promoting its treatment methods through 260 churches, which has seriously hurt countless gay, bisexual and transgender people. Finally, in June of 20 13, he declared that he could no longer "play", made his homosexual identity public, admitted that "all homosexual treatments are deceptive, and I have never seen anyone succeed", and announced the dissolution of Exodus group.

Through the "projection" and "reverse formation" of the mirror, we can see:

When you list the traits you hate, you will find that these traits are actually more or less in yourself, but at the level of consciousness, it is difficult for you to admit and face them, because most of these traits are not allowed by morality or reality.

Described in Jungian psychological terms, this part is called "shadow". Many people unconsciously become what they once hated, precisely because "shadow" often comes from subconscious instinct, and the power of instinct is so great that we can't help it.

However, when we live what we once hated, our first reaction is to deny it! Xenophobia! Run!

We spend a lot of psychological resources and instinct to fight and try to get rid of the "shadow". This is the root of many people's inner conflicts and struggles.

In order to hide the inner shadow, we usually "mold" and "package" our beautiful external image, which Jung psychology calls "personality mask".

The more perfect your personality mask is, the deeper your shadow may be.

We often see in many film and television dramas about criminal investigation that the person who has the least motive and suspicion is most likely a vicious criminal. Usually such people will show a righteous look in the play. Every time the mystery is solved, the plot will give us an epiphany that is "unexpected and reasonable". We can't get tired of this kind of "routine" because it shows the truest human nature.

In reality, when we really live out what we hate, it can be understood that we have begun to face up to our own shadow and try to make it a part of ourselves. This is not a bad thing. From a certain point of view, this is the only way to integrate personality and become your true self.

When you realize the rationality behind the "annoying eyes", you can better bring the repressed "shadows" to the sun and truly turn them into positive internal resources.

When the "shadow" is transformed in your awareness, reflection and acceptance, you can live more truly, freely and comfortably.

Like and hate, beauty and ugliness are just two sides of the same coin. The world is never black and white. In the free space from dark gray to light gray, as long as you don't violate the "bottom line" of morality and law, I encourage you to be the person who was once hated and lived a high life.

In the sun, you see your own shadow, and in the shadow, you are integrated with the shadow. This is the real life, this is the real you.

Congratulations, you have finally become what you used to hate the most!