Are there any super funny jokes? Pray for the great gods.

When a recruit practiced lurking in a big tree, it unfortunately led to tragedy. The thing is this: while he was lurking in the tree, two squirrels climbed in along his trouser legs. Only one person said, "Boss, here are two walnuts. Let's eat one by one! " ! ! "A lady took two noisy children to the bank to withdraw money. The lady didn't want her child's rude behavior to be exposed to so many people, so after entering the bank, she suddenly shouted to her child, "Face the wall and don't talk." Suddenly, all the people in the bank were facing the wall and didn't dare to make any noise. When the millionaire drove past a village in a luxurious extended Lincoln, he saw two beggars pulling grass by the roadside and stopped immediately. Why do you eat grass? ""We really don't have money ... "A beggar replied, really, get in the car and go to my house. ""I have a wife and two children at home ... "A beggar muttered and called them! "The rich man pointed to another beggar." And you, call your family. ""My family has a large population. Besides my wife, there are five children. " Another beggar said it doesn't matter, call them all and go! "In this way, two beggars and their families got on the bus. Fortunately, it was an extended bus. On the way to exercise, a beggar's wife said gratefully, "boss, it's very kind of you to invite even poor people like us to our home." "The millionaire replied," Nothing, I just came back from abroad, and my house has been neglected. The lawn in the yard may be more than one meter high, so you can eat enough! An old man walked slowly along the street and saw a little boy reaching for the doorbell, but the doorbell was too high to reach. The kind old man stopped and said to the child, "I'll ring the doorbell for you." So he rang the doorbell several times, and probably the whole house heard the bell. Then, the child said to the old man, "Now let's run away, quick!" " A young lawyer appeared in his first case. His client's 24 pigs were run over by a train and killed. In order to emphasize the huge loss, he said excitedly, "Gentlemen, think about it, 24 pigs! "24 heads! Twice as many as our jury. A man left home for work on Friday afternoon. It was payday, so he didn't go home. He spent all his salary partying with men all weekend. When he finally got home on Sunday night, his angry wife was waiting for him and scolded him for nearly two hours. Finally, the wife stopped nagging and asked him, "What would you think if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "I will feel good. "Monday passed and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday passed, and he still hasn't seen his wife. On Thursday ... the swelling disappeared a little, and he finally managed to see his wife from the corner of his left eye ... The young couple quarreled and threw a pillow from upstairs, just as a beggar passed by happily. Soon another quilt flew down, and the beggar was ecstatic. So he wiped his tears and shouted to the upstairs: big brother, be kind and throw that woman down! 2. Brother, stop touching it! You touched the top and the bottom, and your hair fell out. Such tender skin, you have touched all the water! How do you want me to sell it later? These peaches are all fresh, don't buy them! The female reporter asked the farmer about the origin of mad cow disease. The farmer says I have to milk ten times a day, but cows can only mate once a year. The reporter is puzzled; The host said loudly: Rub your chest every day and have sex once a year. Can you not be crazy? 4. Teachers in rural areas can read and let a peasant woman recognize the word quilt. The peasant woman can't remember it. The teacher prompts: What is it when you sleep? The peasant woman says it's her husband. The teacher is in distress situation: What should I do if my husband is not here? Peasant woman: It's the village head. A row of prostitutes are waiting for guests in the street. The 80-year-old lady was curious and asked, What are you waiting for? * Women have a bad temper: wait for lollipops! The old woman joined the queue and waited for the sugar to be caught. The policeman asked the old woman, Can you do without teeth? The old woman smiled and said, I can lick it. 6. The scholar just got married and watched his wife write a poem naked. He said: "There are two small peaks on the plain, and there is a small pit at the foot of the mountain. The spring water is rising day by day, and the grass is lush all year round. Dad heard him say in the next room, "Son, this is really a land of feng shui." Dad died and was buried here. ".7. When the father and son were taking a bath, the son saw that his father's * * * was bigger than his own. Father said: yours is a small tricycle and mine is a big Mercedes. Mom said after listening: still running, the road will stall. Father said: it was on the old road, but it was amazing on the new road. 8. Q: Who is the most miserable man in the world? A: He is a cook in the artillery company. He wore a green hat and took responsibility. He can only look at others. 9. The old farmer bought sex drugs, fearing that they were not strong enough, and fed them to the roosters at home first. After taking the medicine, the chicken killed all the hens in the village and flew to the tallest tree in the village. The old farmer asked the rooster what he wanted. The rooster said, don't fucking bother me, I'm waiting to play with the eagle.