Boys tease girls with mineral water.

Once I cut a little boy's hair. A naughty child kept wriggling, refused to sit honestly for half a minute, and after a while shouted at his mother. Just as his mother went out, I don't like such a child at ordinary times, so I gave him a hard knock on the head and warned him to be honest. As a result, he was quiet for a while and began to cran his neck to find his mother. I am really angry. I held his shoulder in one hand and stopped him from moving, while slowly holding hair clipper in the other hand to give him a haircut. After a while, the boy whispered, "Brother, I peed ..." At the same time, water dripped on my shoes and pants inexplicably.

Since then, I have also started to compete with my female colleagues to cut the little girl's hair.

2. hair clipper, a child who specializes in cutting children's hair, had a mother who was very interested in it and asked for one several times. We explained that it was not safe to cut children's hair at home. The mother insisted on buying it to shave the newborn puppy, so she couldn't sell it to her. A few days later, the mother came back with her son in a hat and said, "shave his head." I admit that I am unfriendly. At the moment I took off my hat, the realistic version of painting an apple like an ass still made me laugh. The mother was very calm, and the child was unhappy: "Brother, don't laugh at me, you didn't see my puppy ..."

3: There was once a little boy and a little girl who cut their hair hand in hand, but there were no adults. In this case, we usually dare not cut it casually, but the two little guys took out their mobile phones and dialed the number to let their parents call us separately. Not long after the haircut, the little girl looked up and asked me, "Brother, how much is a haircut?" After I told her the price, she was a little worried and hesitant and asked the little boy, "How much money did you bring?" Little boy: "a lot, I have several dollars!" " "The little girl still looked uneasy and took my hand:" Brother, can you cut me cheaper? "We have to save money to elope."

Elopement! My colleagues and I were stunned, and the little boy jumped down from the chair: "I thought we agreed not to tell anyone!" " "The little girl twisted her fingers and didn't speak. The boys pulled the girls down in handfuls: "Ignore it, run quickly, and someone will catch up with a large team soon!" " "My colleagues and I were still holding scissors and combs in our hands, and we were all shocked to see the little boy run away with the little girl with a bib. The little girl's voice came from a distance: "This hairstyle is not beautiful when people visit the church."

In the evening, the two children were picked up by adults and continued to cut their hair. I teased the little boy while working: "Where did you run away?"

The little boy gave me a white look: "I will ride her away one day!" " "

She was 17 years old in the summer vacation the year before last. She saw my IPOD and said, "Brother-in-law, your IPOD is not bad!" So when she went back, her sister brought her an IPOD.

Last summer vacation, she 18 years old. She looked at my IBM and said, "Brother-in-law, your IBM is not bad!" " So when she went back, her sister brought her an IBM notebook.

This summer vacation, she 19 years old and became a beautiful girl. When she saw me, she smiled shyly and said, "Brother-in-law, you are actually quite good. . . . "

. . . . . . . . I'm waiting for her sister to talk. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Tonight, just now.

Me: I will have a blood transfusion tomorrow. (I have aplastic anemia)

Dad: ok, I'll accompany you?

Me: Oh, no need.

Dad: Then ask your uncle Li to prescribe two boxes of * Forefront Rejuvenation Tablets * for me. Li Shu is my attending doctor. It has been 20 years since I was five years old, and my relationship with my father is very good.

Me: Well, this doesn't suit me, does it?

Dad: Er, yes, Lao Li is not an outsider. He knows it's for me and won't think it's for you.

6. Dad's jiaozi is very famous (in the south, there are not many people who can make handmade jiaozi and do it well).

I packed a lot this day and counted it, thinking that there should be one more plate. So my parents decided to send the dishes to my uncle's house (without chopsticks).

Leave this task to me.

I accepted it gladly.

"Uncle, this is for you."

"Oh .. when you eat? Enough to eat? "

"That's enough. My father cooks too much. If he can't eat, he will pour it to the pig. "

7. I was in the second grade.

There are three classes in the afternoon.

After the second class, I want to pee, but I am very happy to see my classmates jumping rubber bands. Later, I thought, there is only one class left anyway, so bear with it.

I had the third class with a beating heart and a rubber band. I was on pins and needles until class was over.

The Chinese teacher said, "Let's postpone class for half an hour today and comment on the midterm paper."

My face is blue.

I don't have the heart to listen and think about how to tell the teacher to go to WC. I am timid and afraid of being scolded by the teacher.

Finally, I got up the courage and raised my hand. A girl raised her hand. "Teacher, I want to go to the toilet."

"Go ahead."

"Teacher, I also want to go to the toilet!" Another boy also raised his hand.

"Go up, go up, you naughty boys. When you see other students going to the bathroom, you should also go up. Listen carefully! "

The boy made a face and smiled on the table. It seems that he is a fake.

But after hurting me, I never had the courage to raise my hand again.

When the teacher talked about the last question, I finally couldn't stand "old ... teacher, I have to go to the toilet". I guess it was white then.

"Go, go, go!"

... I struggled to stand up and then stood there crying.

"Why don't you go? Why are you crying? "

"I have already peed."

Later, there was a legend in our class, "You don't know? Bug peeing is so cool! From this side of the classroom to the door of the classroom ... "They described it vividly.

Go to school in the morning.

For breakfast, I went to the store and asked for a bowl of dry powder (thick one, similar to crossing the bridge rice noodles, slippery, I like it very much).

The boss said that there was more weight left in my last bowl and gave it to me.

Oh, that's cool. I like it very much. I ate flowers, and I can't hold on.

Spend money on school.

See the shoelaces loose. Bend down and tie them up.

At the moment of bending over, two dry powders slipped from the nostrils to the ground.

Fortunately, there is no one around.

9. Summer of the third grade.

Mother pulled a piece of cotton cloth for me and made me a pair of briefs.

I feel beautiful in it (= =).

I'm going to school at noon and my mother is writing at her desk. I asked, "Mom, shall I wear this to school this afternoon?"

"Very good." She didn't look up.

Walking up and down the stairs in front of the classroom in the afternoon, three students actually said that the pants I am wearing today are very nice.

Proud.

Finally, a man with a unique vision, a boy in the same class, said, "Oh ... Bug wore a big flower briefs to school today, which is so ugly ..."

Seriously, I was proud from beginning to end that day. ...

10. It was just developed.

When I was young, I felt that chest bulge was a very depressing and embarrassing thing.

Why? Why are you one step ahead of others?

So I secretly bought two red scarves, tied a knot, and then firmly crossed my chest.

So I can hold my head high again without blushing.

After several days, I finally gave up because I couldn't breathe well every day.

And to be honest, be careful to grow into a "concave" shape in the future.

If we hadn't done that ... the cup would be bigger now.

My friend accompanied me to wash the car the other day. There are two garages in the car wash, both of which are empty, so I'll switch to the nearest one. At this time, a Land Rover was forcibly inserted. If it wasn't estimated that the brakes were timely, the window rolled down. A woman: "I want to die! Kill you! ~ ~ ~ "and then continue to drive in, my friend is trying to compare with her. In line with the principle that good men don't beat women, I said forget it and don't wash the car casually. Walk silently to the side of the library. After my car was washed for a while, the woman stopped the Land Rover and swaggered on stilts. In front of us, there was another barrage: "Why didn't you wash your broken car, just scrapped it, blablablabla". I can't help it this time. I was about to start cursing when my friend stopped me and motioned for me to see the Land Rover being baptized by the faucet. Three seconds later, I suddenly realized, smiling without a word! Women are even more happy when they see that we don't fight back, and a pair of mistresses become full members. ...

Soon the car wash master signaled that my car had been washed and dried and was ready to drive away. Backed out of the library, silently drove to her side and rolled down the window: "Miss, you just scolded so smoothly that we couldn't even get a word in." I want to remind you that your skylight seems to have been forgotten! " Then walk away.

Through the rearview mirror, I saw this woman frantically rushing to the "waterwheel" and making the sound of killing pigs. Wow, haha, the stilts are broken and twisted!

A final exam in college, my classmates and I came to the examination room early. During the chat, we found that we didn't bring our student ID card, and it took more than 20 minutes to go back and forth from the classroom to the dormitory. It's scorching outside, so I'll go back and get it. It happened that the invigilator came with the paper, a dirty millet and a beautiful MM teacher. I explained the situation to Miss MM and showed her the admission ticket, ID card and library card. Let me sit down for the exam.

I am so excited. It's very kind of Miss MM to be so considerate. After the exam began, I started listening, and dirty Xiaomi came down to check the admission ticket. When I was discovered, it was a tragedy. He told me to go back and get it. I just talked to the little teacher, but I'm not satisfied here. Because it was actually too dirty, Miss MM didn't dare to say anything.

I have no choice but to go back, but I feel very wronged. Might as well let me go back and get it early. Anyway, I didn't want to do listening, so I staggered back to get my student ID card and bought a green mood to eat on the road.

When I returned to the classroom and showed my student ID card to dirty Xiaomi, my listening was almost over. Miss MM has nothing to do, so she has to wear headphones to listen. When she saw me coming, she gave me the earphone. I didn't want to listen, so I sat behind the topic.

After a while, the little teacher strolled over and picked up my student ID card and looked at it. I was angry and felt very sorry for her. I saw her put down my student ID card and left, and there was a hint of pressing the table, which puzzled me. After she left, I opened it and found a small note that said I'm sorry. Here is a gorgeous listening answer * @%.

By the way, this is the best English exam I have ever taken.

A big brother bought a Phaeton of W 12 6.0, which triggered the following short story:

One day, Big Brother entered the parking lot and was stopping automatically. The administrator shouted to him, "Hey, be careful when driving Passat, don't hit the new BMW 320 next to you, you can't afford it." Big Brother roared, "I have enough cars for him to buy three."

[Zanbai]

One day, eldest brother entered the gas station, and when I was not careful, my sister's No.93 gun was aimed at the gas station. My eldest brother was sweating like a pig and roared, "I want to add 97. Who told you to add 93 privately?" Sister kindly replied: "eldest brother, Passat plus 93 is absolutely no problem." How much Passat do I add every day? 93 save money, not Mercedes-Benz BMW. "

One day, my eldest brother went to a nightclub to pick up girls. After seeing a younger sister, they met and went out to play until midnight. In the second half, my sister saw the extraordinary temperament of my eldest brother and walked to the parking place with him. Seeing my eldest brother's Phaeton, my sister turned away and said, "I don't have the courage to invite me to Santana for supper." I knew I left with the one who just drove the Camry. " "

One day, Big Brother feted a senior official and drove to his house to pick him up. Eldest brother respectfully opened the car door, and the official approached and said, "I'd better let the driver drive A6 out."

One day, Big Brother went to a place to meet friends. There are many black cars at the gate of this community. While waiting for friends in the car, big brother heard the black drivers saying, "Such a good car also comes out to work." The other said, "It may belong to a company, but Passat needs 8 gasoline for 100 kilometers." Eldest brother rolled down the window and roared, "I added 17 gasoline for 100 kilometers."

One day, an important friend of a friend of Big Brother got married and wanted to borrow a heavyweight car. Brother's kind-hearted people lent it generously, although they loved cars very much. Later, their friends returned the car. Eldest brother proudly asked, "What's the matter, making faces in front of friends?" The friend sighed, "Don't mention it. My friend insists that this is old Passat, which is too unfashionable. Finally, he rented a modern red sports car as a wedding car, and your car was arranged.

One day, when Big Brother stopped to go out, he heard a conversation between two young people behind him. One of them said, "Look, wow, Phaeton!" Eldest brother is at ease, and finally someone knows the goods. Just when he was happy, he heard another young man say, "Fuck, there is really an SB to buy."

Wu Man is my friend who grew up wearing open-backed pants. He called me the other day: "Is Professor A your teacher? I may need psychological counseling! "

Professor A is a top psychologist and a very experienced consultant. He promised to meet Wu Man.

They walked into the consulting room. 15 minutes later, Professor A came out and said to me, "Take care of the little things!"

I'm puzzled. My main business is not psychological counseling. There is a principle in psychological counseling that counselors can't be familiar with counselors.

Professor A saw my worry: "His situation is quite special, and he needs to know his past friends to agree!" ! I have a post-it note for you. I'll read it after work! "

Wu Man sat awkwardly in an armchair. I turned off the soothing music and handed him a thick cigar.

Me: "Tell me!"

Wu Man: "I'm getting married! But my fiancee is CN! "

Me: "I know! Is it related to CN? "

Man Dance: "You know my attitude towards girls, right?"

I can't help feeling that Wu Man is a legend. He is not tall, but handsome and full of masculinity. There are countless girls chasing him. He has been having an affair, but most people think he is a good person in charge, mainly because of this:

When I was a freshman, Wu Man met a senior and reported for duty as usual. When she wanted to go in, Wu Man was shocked: "You are CN."

Senior said shyly, "Yes!"

A few seconds later, Wu Man put on her underwear and said to her petrochemical senior, "I can't guarantee that I will marry you in the future. I am responsible for you! " "

Everyone's comments on this matter are quite different, but they all admit that Wu Man is indeed responsible in some aspects, no matter what psychological reasons.

After that, Wu Man's reputation has greatly improved, which is excellent in itself, and this affair continues. The above events have happened several times, and many powerful celebrities have sent him emails, expressing their willingness to have in-depth exchanges with such a responsible man!

Take all the dances. ...

Me: "You mean these things? Don't tell me you don't want to marry her because she is CN! "

I'm a little excited. If it's true, I'm afraid it's a serious psychological obstacle that can't be corrected in a short time!

Wu Man: "I don't want to, but I dare not ..."

I have some doubts: "Is there anything in it?"

Manwu: "Remember when I was taken to the hospital by an ambulance in high school?"

Me: "Remember! That time you suddenly fainted at home, your girlfriend called me, or I called an ambulance. Isn't it hypoglycemia? "

Wu Man: "Actually, there was no one at home that day. My girlfriend and I had no choice but to do it ..."

I smiled: "Don't tell me that you are too excited to induce hypoglycemia! Are you not normal in the future? "

Man Dance: "Am I normal? I have never done it with CN, and I have lived with many people, but I have to go back to the dormitory for a few days every month! "

Me: "You mean ..."

Wu Man: I feel dizzy! "

I opened the note left by Professor A, which read:

1 About psychological barriers: It's too depressing. Let him tell his friends about it until he really realizes the hypocrisy of the past.

2 About behavioral disorders: Learn to scrape fish scales, and you are responsible for monitoring and guiding.

This is the most embarrassing thing I have ever seen in my life. Send it to the magazine and print me funny comments!

I told my wife that when I was 6 years old, I played a game of taking off my pants and playing bugs with a girl two years younger in kindergarten. The wife asked: Did you give the girl three sweets at that time? I said, how do you know, my wife Damn it, you have two stones in your bag. . . .

When I was in college, I went to play billiards near Z University Town. After the game, I decided to go back to school on a whim. As a result, I got lost. Four big boys got lost near the school and went to a new development zone. These buildings are new, but no one lives there. It was scary in the middle of the night, and the bedding was all arranged.

1. I called China Mobile and China Unicom and asked them to help me locate, but the service girl refused. Call 1 10 and say you are lost. Let the car pick you up. The answer is that we don't know where you are. At noon, I found two people on the night shift riding bicycles. It was already midnight 12. The four of us saw the savior and rushed up to ask for directions. As a result, tragedy happened. One of the cyclists asked the other, What do you think these boys do? The other party said, I don't know. After riding, we ran away. We chased after each other, shouting that we were good people. As a result, they rode faster. Finally, half an hour later, we waited for a taxi. I got on the bus in one breath and said z was big. The driver said we were all stunned! He said, I'm lost anyway. I'll go wherever you say!

Brazil vs ivory coast.

Kaka elbowed a man in black in the chest, and the man instantly twisted and fell to the ground.

The referee sent Kaka off.

This group of people suddenly became excited.

MD, hit your chest and cover your fucking face. Shit, that's great.

At this time, a strongman told the story of a black man: Ah, Kaka is good or bad, even touching his chest, whoops ... ashamed to meet people.

I don't know why I had a strong desire last night, so I sent a text message to BF to flirt and asked if I wanted to go to KF the next day.

After sending it, I suddenly remembered that we broke up a week ago, and TNND immediately shut down and fell asleep. ...

Awkward. Ah ah ah! I dare not turn it on now. I don't know how he will react. ...

A buddy, weighing more than 200 Jin, once went to Hong Kong with me. He was hungry at noon. He wants to go back to Shenzhen to eat again, but he can't help it. So he found an independent Japanese restaurant at a price of 188 Hong Kong dollars. After sitting down, he asked: Do you eat casually when you pay? . Answer: Yes. . So I started eating. Not only did I feel that there were more and more plates next to this buddy, but the waiter frowned and ate for an hour every time he passed by. I'm full. The buddy asked, I won't give them food, will I? I said: no! But you're not full? The buddy said: Half full! Then continue to eat. . I ate for another 40 minutes and left. After going out, my buddy stressed again: I think I ate too much. . I said: nothing, I can't go bankrupt. . The buddy said: Yes. Then come again next time. . A week later, I went shopping with him in Hong Kong. When I went to this store at noon, I saw several big characters: closed down and transferred. . Dude, tears are coming out. . "I ate them and went bankrupt. . I am sorry for them. " . . awkward

That day, when she was having dinner with them, she heard the conversation of three girls at the next table:

A girl: "Who has a tissue? Give me one. "

Another woman (also called A): "Who uses facial tissues now? Do you know about low-carbon life? "

Both women asked, "What's that for?"

A: "Hum ~ Use a handkerchief ~ Look, I just bought it yesterday ~"

Gorgeously take out a pink one from the bag, wave it away and wipe your mouth gracefully.

Everyone froze. After a long time, a girl said, "Little ... Little A, what did you take ..."

A strange "huh?" Let out a cry and spread out the pink in his hand. ...

Yes, there is a little pink lace in it. . . .

To say that this student's psychological quality is very good. I saw her eggs (yes, please understand this twisted calmness) folded and put in the bag. The egg smiled, and the explanation was: "I was in a hurry in the morning." Then the egg took a bite of the dish.

When the students here gradually lifted the petrochemical state, A suddenly changed his face, put down his chopsticks and asked:

"I just took the underwear? ! "

Everyone looked at the black line: "Well ..."

A: "! ! Kao! What shall I wear today? ! "

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The only time I failed in college, I mistakenly handed a few hundred-word love letter to a girl I had admired for a long time to a Marxist theory teacher. We are all male prostitutes.

The only time the university was worshipped by girls was when I personally gave Marx's paper as a love letter to a girl I had admired for a long time, and always praised my high ideological consciousness.

Then we made up.

The process is that the teacher asked me to read the love letter to the whole class in public. I quickly sent a text message to let the girls come and said that there was a surprise. She came, thinking that I had made a confession in public, and was moved by her expression. . Finally, I called her name, and the students all cooperated and applauded me loudly.

The teacher turned green. . So, I failed him.

Yesterday, I received a customer from Taiwan Province Province. It seems that after 60, I called three young ladies.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I didn't know until the next day that I had been playing mahjong all night.

A young man comes from a friend's company. He is very good, works hard and never complains. It is often said that it is not easy for people to live, and the life in front of them is given by God, so we should cherish it. The friend lamented that the child was too calm.

Later, I learned that Yi was from Karamay, Xinjiang. The bus to their school broke down in the Karamay fire and didn't arrive. Later, I was admitted to Yunnan University, and Ma Jiajue lived in the dormitory across the hall ... With a sigh, the boys were calm for a reason.

Just now, I saw someone say that tea and urine are the same color, which reminded me of my freshman year.

There is a TV in our university canteen. When I went with my best friend, the seats were basically occupied. We have a pair of sisters.

My best friend winked at me and said, "I'm thirsty." Go and get something to drink. " I understand.

I ran out and bought a bottle of green tea and a bottle of mineral water. I poured out the mineral water, and half a bottle of green tea was poured into the mineral water bottle, revealing a little white dog.

Come back and hand it to your girlfriend: "Here, it's still hot."

People around you have cast surprised eyes.

The best friend took it, took a sip, looked at the bottle and said, "Are you angry? A little salty. "

Me: "Really? Let me try. " Take a sip. "Well, it's a little salty."

The two sisters sitting there covered their mouths and ran away. With us as the radius, there is no one within 5 meters around Fiona Fang. ....

We easily occupied that position until our sophomore year. ....

A few days ago, I made a blind date and asked mm to have dinner together. In this small town, we usually go to cafes like La Fonseca and Leo for dates and meals. After that, we checked out and picked up the menu. Seeing a crucian carp in 28 yuan, I suddenly felt very emotional. From the beginning, 8 yuan started dating, and now 28 yuan is still dating, depressed!

When I went downstairs for breakfast this morning, I saw an armored car parked in front of the bank, and four people who were betting money stood there with guns in their hands. At this time, a beggar went straight to a pawnshop owner and extended his hand to him. The onlookers were frightened and saw the pawnbroker put his hand into his pocket. I thought, it's over. It's time to draw my gun. However, I saw the cashier generously give 5 yuan money to the beggar. At that time, the people waiting in line to withdraw money were whispering that the cashier was kind. The beggar took the money and prepared to go to the bank with a straight face. The cashier immediately raised his gun and said to the beggar, don't go in and leave here. . . So this is the real distinction between public and private!

1, I don't know if anyone has said that there was a topic in China when En was in high school: "A Japanese woman visited a woman's house in China, and when she left, she said,' You are so polite, just like Japanese, not like China'. The question asked is how to answer. " A student's answer is "you are Japanese, your mother is Japanese, your father is Japanese, and your whole family is Japanese." . Applause thundered when the teacher criticized in class. . .

2. On the campus forum, someone asked, "Why do cockroaches appear more frequently after the school uniformly uses cockroach incense to kill cockroaches? I haven't seen them before. "

A strong prostitute replied, "Aren't you in a hurry without your family?"

Once, I went to my classmate's house to play.

At the gate of his community, there is a cultural wall with several holes, about the size of a volleyball.

There is a sign on the side to remind you not to stick your head into the hole in the wall.

I looked at him strangely and asked him, "Will someone stick their head in?"

"There used to be leaders to check. Looking at this wall, I asked if there would be a child's head stuck in the hole. "

"Then what?"

"Those bumpkins in the neighborhood Committee, write them down quickly, and then add this hint."

"Oh." I said.

"However, since this reminder, several pupils' heads have been stuck."

"……"

My friend has a non-mainstream MM in the college entrance examination, which is very eye-catching. At least one third of this MM's ass leaks when she sits down. It is said that it is so white ... He sat in front of his friend's left, so this brother was cursed and couldn't help looking into his ass ditch when writing his paper. Look hard!

Sadly, he was warned by the invigilator, and then an invigilator uncle came to him and followed his eyes. Two seconds later, with his eyes fixed, he resolutely walked back to the podium and put on his glasses, and then came back to stand behind this senior and concentrate on invigilating the whole exam of this senior …

I went to the kindergarten to pick up my little nephew the day before yesterday. Yes, I was just about to leave. My little nephew, Miss mm, told me not to go yet and have a chat. As people say, I was naturally embarrassed to leave, and then she asked me how old I was, what I was doing ... and a lot of boring questions. After asking for 10 minutes, my little nephew clamored to leave, so I said hello to her and turned to leave. She quickly asked, do you have a girlfriend? I shook my head and she smiled. None of the above is the point. Yesterday, I went to pick up my little nephew again. I saw him eating with a lollipop when I went out. (Because snacks are not allowed in kindergarten) I asked him, who gave it to you? He said it was from my aunt. I wonder, where did he get his aunt? I asked again, which aunt are you? "Teacher, the teacher asked me to call her aunt, and she gave me a candy."

It is said that I got together with my friends a few days ago and started drinking while eating. After dinner, go to KTV to sing and continue drinking.

Yes, a friend died of drinking and was unconscious.

As friends, a group of us sent him home.

If it ends here, I will definitely say that I am not embarrassed, but I am not so bored, and I will be embarrassed later.

When I saw my friend the next day, my face looked as if I had been hit by violence.

I asked why.

My friend is embarrassed to tell the truth.

When I woke up this morning, I didn't pay attention to the environment. I just watched a woman sleeping next to me, thinking that she was drunk and went somewhere to fool around. So HLL took out his wallet, took out 400 yuan's money and handed it over.

Pass it on. . . .

In the past. .

Let's go . .

Today, I was wandering on the road, passing a bus stop, and saw a couple of 16 or 17 years old. When I got closer, I saw that the girl was actually my cousin, but she didn't look me in the eye. At this moment, they are joking there. My cousin punched the man several times. I smiled and suddenly said, "Oh, Ip Man!" Cousin stopped powder boxing "Ye your mother ... brother ..." Looking at my cousin who turned and stood there, I was scared by her BH. The little boy was silly "brother ..."

I stared at him. "Who is your brother? Don't yell! " The little boy paused and said weakly, "Oh, I'm sorry, uncle!" " Shit! What eyes! I am only 24 years old.

When I was a child, I watched Li's sculpture with my parents. In a passage, Guo Jing cried to his mother in front of his father's coffin and said, "Why is my father a're"? I was so stupid, I said, why isn't my father a little Muka?

After so many years, I still can't forget the frightened eyes of my parents at that time-

People should stay when they are tired.

I was tired and dizzy because I went shopping for two days in a row on weekends.

As a result, I forgot to hand in my homework, so I called my teacher and asked me to look for her in the office building at 5 13.

It's tiring to climb the fifth floor after going down the fourth floor. Then I saw 5 1 1 and 5 12 turn in the next room. I feel that the office layout is a bit strange, and then the teacher of the experiment is also there. A man, I knocked on the door twice and asked seriously, is Teacher * * there?

The experimental teacher looked at me very tangled and said, * * Why is teacher (female) here?

I said calmly that she asked me to call her at 5 13.

The teacher just gave me a white look at the front door.

Come out and see that the house number is not 5 13.

It says bathroom ...

By the way, I knocked at the door seriously at that time. ...

Tell me about the night shift yesterday morning. There was nothing wrong with the night shift, so I went to sleep again. When I get up in the morning, something happens to every normal young person-Chen Bo. I didn't care at that time, and I was going home from work in a daze.

Waiting in line to cross the security door was a disaster. As usual, security small MM took the scanner for a full-body examination. But at that time, I was still in the morning ... I felt that the small MM scanner brushed my DD twice ... and then it became more obvious ... Then the security girl insisted that I take out the contents of my trouser pocket for her to check ... for good reason-I suspected that I had taken the company's drilling fixture and other things out of the factory ... I wanted to cry!

Looking at more than n little girls waiting in line to find jobs behind them. I had no choice but to stand aside and wait silently for 5 minutes. Pass the security check again in five minutes. Small MM a surprised, shouted, I didn't see you take anything out of your pocket. Why is that thing missing? ? How strange!

Then I looked at the security guard GG who witnessed the whole process and almost laughed ... I was speechless, really gone, just soft. Xiao MM, some things really can't be shown to you in public! Otherwise, you will become an exhibitionist.

Crazy appeal to the company to replace all security personnel with people with sexual experience. Stop using friends!

In college, a roommate's father came to visit the school, and his roommate complained to him that the food in the canteen was not delicious.

His father was furious, reprimanded him for his coquetry, and dragged him to cry about the bitter days of eating bark and chewing grass roots when he was a child. He talked all morning, making all the students in our dormitory talk like cows.

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At noon, my roommate and his father go to the school cafeteria for dinner. Out of the canteen, his father gave his roommate 200 yuan and said kindly, son, dad is wrong about you. Let's go out to eat later. Don't embarrass yourself.

There is an activity on Douban, and I uploaded my photos. I got a reply the next day. I am nervous, even if it is "too thick", "too dark" or "not straight". As a result, I got a reply that made me even more indignant. I was so angry that I immediately cancelled my Douban account.

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The evaluation is "man?"