Beg for a joke!

1 The fox was walking in the street and met the old wolf head-on. The old wolf reached out and gave him a big mouth: "Let you not wear a hat."

The fox came home depressed and put on a hat.

The next day, I met the old wolf and got a big mouth: "Let you wear a hat."

If so, he is always beaten several times. The fox thought that it was not a problem to be beaten often. No, I have to complain to the tiger.

Just arrived at the door of the tiger's house, I heard the tiger talking in the house: "You can't always be so unreasonable when you hit the fox. If the fox comes to me to complain in the future, I won't be able to keep you. " At least we can get by on the surface. I'll teach you a trick. Next time you see a fox, tell him: Bring me some clothes. He brought you soap, so you beat him up and said I wanted washing powder, but who told you to get the soap? He brought washing powder, you can call and say I want soap, but who told you to bring washing powder? Why don't you tell him to find me a woman? He finds you a fat one, and you beat him up and say I want to be thin; I'll find you a thin one, and you can beat me up and say I want to be fat. If it's not over, you can hit him, and my face will make sense. "

Hearing this, the fox said, well, let's stop complaining and go home.

The next day, the fox met the old wolf in the street again. The old wolf shouted, "Go and find me some clothes."

The fox took his time: "Do you want washing powder or soap?"

Hearing this, the old wolf, huh? Very good at it. He said, "Go and find me a woman."

The fox is still in no hurry: "Do you want to be fat or thin?"

The wolf was stupid at that time, and there was no reason to hit it. But the wolf only hesitated for a while and beat the fox again, saying, "Don't wear a hat!" " "

A couple came to a wishing pool. The husband bent down, made a wish and returned a coin to the well. My wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent down, she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was startled, then smiled and said to himself, what a fucking spirit!

Two snakes met.

One of the snakes asked, "Brother, are we poisonous?"

"Why do you say that?" Asked another snake.

The snake said, "I bit my tongue."

five

The female teacher drew an apple on the blackboard and then asked, "What's this, little friend?" The children said in unison, "Donkey!" The female teacher ran out of the classroom crying and complained to the headmaster, "The children laugh at people." The headmaster came into the classroom and said with a serious expression, "Why did you make the teacher cry?" Ah! And drew an ass on the blackboard! "

In 620XX, an old man was dying and said to his grandson with trembling lips, "When children ... wait ... for the national football team ... to qualify, you must ... write ... in writing ... and burn it for me."

The child said, "Don't worry, Grandpa, I will try my best to live to that day." Grandpa closed his eyes with satisfaction after listening to his grandson.

In 2 1XX, a critically ill old man knelt in front of his grave and couldn't help crying: "grandson, I have been waiting for the national football team for so many years. I am really ashamed of my ancestors!" Say that finish, anger toward, the whole body quiver two quiver will not move. Those eyes are still wide open and die unsatisfied! !

Grandson died and went to heaven. One day, he met God, and God said, I can grant you a wish.

He said, "Can you sink the island of Japan?"

God said: this is too difficult, change it.

Sun Tzu added: "Then I want the national football team to qualify.

God wiped the sweat from his head and said, "What's your last wish? Can I see the globe? "

The little camel asked his father, "What's the use of our hump?"

Dad said, "We can use humps to store food in the desert!" " "

The little camel then asked, "What's the use of our meat pad?"

Dad said, "We are in the desert. If we had a meat pad, we wouldn't sink back into the sand! " "

The little camel asked his father again, "What's the use of our eyelashes?"

Dad said, "This will keep out the wind and sand!" "

The little camel finally asked, "Then why are we in the zoo?"

Dad: "@ # $%&; . "

8 "Batman" came to the gate of heaven reluctantly, and the angels felt sorry for his dissatisfaction. An angel supervisor came up to Batman and said, "God knows you have done a lot of good things for mankind, so I will give you a chance to be born again and have three wishes. Say what you want to say now. " Batman jumped up with joy and said, "Great, I can be a great man again. Eighteen years later, I am another hero, hahahahahaha. .....................................................................................................................................

My first wish is that I don't want to wear this black dress every day after regeneration. I want to wear a white dress. The angel said, "This will do." "My second wish is to keep the shape of the wings on my clothes." "That will do." "My third wish is to suck a lot of blood like a real bat in the future, because I have been Batman for so long and have never sucked a mouthful of blood. I want to see what it feels like. " "That's it. You can go down now."

Later, Batman realized all his wishes and came down from the production line of the headquarters of the American cleaning company and became a bag of daily clothes with wings.

9 MM looking for Tsinghua, and got lost. Fortunately, I met a gentle professor with some thick books in his arms.

"Excuse me, how can I get to Tsinghua University?"

The professor pondered for a while and said earnestly, "Study, you can only go to Tsinghua if you continue to study hard."

The teacher 10 said: I want class flowers for two people. So I took a class flower, took a class and chose two most beautiful girls. The teacher said, "Go to the Academic Affairs Office to move flowers!" " "

12 it's spring ploughing time, and the school organizes high school students to go to the countryside to help farmers send fertilizer to the fields. The bully king among his classmates, because of his strong body, was assigned to pull carts and transport fertilizer. When the rest of the students were loading or unloading cars after dinner, the teacher asked, "What did you do today, Miss Wang?" Wang replied, "Pull pig manure." At this moment, a nearby voice whispered, "I knew he didn't shit."

14 Xiaoyu's infirmary moved, and all the students went to help. The room is full of instruments and specimens! When it was my turn to take it, there was only one human specimen left. I took this skeleton, put it next to the driver's seat and drove to his new home! At the red light at the intersection, I felt the old man in the car next to me staring at me. I felt sick, so I explained, "I'll take him to the hospital." "Oh, really?" He looked at me coldly. "That's too late."

It's all excerpts. Choose for yourself. It's all funny.