Funny sentences about dogs?

I heard that the world is very big, and you want to go out and have a look. However, do you know the little world of your dog? Their world is rich. I have compiled en

I heard that the world is very big, and you want to go out and have a look. However, do you know the little world of your dog? Their world is rich. I have compiled enough funny sentences to help you get closer to the dog.

1. Dad: Why did you bite your best friend? Son: Because he bit me first! Dad: Can't you be generous and forgive him? Son: Revenge is not a gentleman! Dad: But he is a dog! Son: I just want to argue with animals!

2. guests go to a small shop to eat. When the food was served, I felt someone touch it. After careful examination, I found nothing. During the whole meal, I felt a pair of eyes peeping at myself. Finally, I found a little yellow dog eyeing up in a corner. The guest called the boss and asked why the dog kept looking at him. Boss: Sorry, I'm not sure about this either. But there is one possibility! The guest asked quickly. Boss: The one who was taken away after eating half the meal!

The dog accompanied the hostess to the hospital and witnessed the whole process of pain when the hostess gave birth to a child. After returning home, the dog sighed at the pig and said, "Hey, people are not as good as chickens!" " "The pig asked," how do you say this? "The pig said," You see, laying eggs is as simple as shit. The incubation time is short, 2 1 day, and it is not bitter. People are pregnant with children 10 months, and the time is long. It's really a crime to get a knife in the stomach when giving birth. "The pig said," People are not as good as chickens, and we are not as good as chickens. Let's be chickens together in the next life! " "

4. When the chicken saw that the puppy had to find a tree every time he peed, and then raised his hind legs, he asked inexplicably, "Are you shy?" The dog said, "We are all qualified, we don't defecate anywhere, we also pay attention to low carbon and environmental protection, and water the trees by the way. Should we say that we are friends of mankind? " The chicken asked again, "Then why do you sometimes scatter it on the telephone pole?" The puppy said shyly, "I can't find a tree. Why doesn't a live dog suffocate the urine?"

The pet dog is listless these days. The kitten asked with concern, "What's the matter? How come I haven't seen the hostess hug you these days? " The dog sighed and said, "I got into trouble and hurt my master, but I really didn't mean to!" " ""What's the matter? "The cat asked curiously." When the host is not at home, the hostess always likes to take off her pants and put ham between her legs, and then let me eat slowly. I saw a ham sausage between the host's legs that day, so I took a bite! What happened ... "The cat asked eagerly." What happened? " "That's not ham sausage! "

6. After lunch, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I met some puppies as a result. The puppies are lively, fighting and chasing, and they are very happy. At this time, a comrade-in-arms was walking, and when he saw this lively scene, he was deeply touched: "This is a puppy meeting!" " As a result, a woman said, "OK, I'll wait for the leader to speak!" " The comrades-in-arms laughed: "What you said is really level!"

7. Teacher: Fan Xiao, make a sentence with "cute"! Xiao: OK, mom loves dogs and sleeps with them every day! Teacher: Is that dog cute? Xiao: of course, mom loves to drool when she sleeps, and the dog helps her lick it clean! Teacher: .....

8. I went to my best friend's house, and her puppy immediately came to kiss my face! I'm busy pushing it away! Sister said: it only kisses you because it likes you! I said: I don't mind being kissed by a dog. Even if it has eaten shit before, I'm afraid it has kissed you before! Sister: ....

9. A dog was bitten by a snake. The dog is very angry and wants to catch snakes for revenge all day. One day, the dog saw an abandoned condom thrown in the grass and thought it was snakeskin. The dog came forward and said maliciously, "Take off your clothes here, your home must be not far away!" " You can escape the monk, but not the temple! "

10. Yang Jian met a dog on the road and adopted it. After adopting this dog, Yang Jian named it Xiaotiangou. It means filial piety to heaven. But when the Jade Emperor heard that Yang Jian had adopted a dog and named it, he killed the dog as well as Yang Jian. When the official asked the reason, the Jade Emperor said angrily, Hum, laugh at the dog, dare to laugh at the sky, the rhythm of rebellion ~

1 1. In class, the kindergarten teacher took out a photo of a man and a woman playing happily with a pet dog. The teacher's original intention is to let the children look at the pictures and talk, and understand that dogs are good friends of human beings and we should love animals. Teacher: "Xiao Ming, what do you see from this painting?" Xiao Ming: "I see dogs, men and women."

12. Two dogs are discussing something. Bitch: You guard the back door. Male dog; Why? Bitch: Because today is the weekend, there are many people going through the back door. Male dog: You mean there is no back door? Bitch: Yes! Male dog: You are so stupid. Master has no money to earn. Can we live a good life?

13. Wang Gan keeps a dog in her parents' yard, likes it very much, and has built a kennel specially! Wu Dalang came to visit, and the dog was quite enthusiastic at first sight, but as soon as he got close to the kennel, the dog showed lost face! Wu Dalang asked, Mom, what's wrong with this dog? Why did you kill me if you knew me so well? Wang Gan Niang looked at his back and said, he can't do it for others, but you. He is really afraid that you will rob his house!

14. The dog sleeps in the shade in the afternoon, and a fly buzzes around. The dog was so upset that he wanted to shoot it. The fly flew high and said defiantly, "We all eat shit, so why kill each other!" " "The dog said angrily," no wonder you haven't evolved for so many years. I eat even better than people now! """Then you have no wings. What can you do with me? ""I am a dog with wings! Do you think you are an angel with wings? You are not even a bird, you are licking shit! " The dog said disdainfully.

15. One of my colleagues is a pet lover, especially fond of keeping dogs. Today, a female colleague asked him: Why doesn't my dog listen to me? Listen to you talk like this? Colleague: Of course, as long as it is a dog, just like a dog can't change and eat shit ... Female colleague: Oh! You're disgusting. ...

16. The dog was tired of walking with its owner, so he lay down to rest. The host said, "You didn't feel tired after walking for so long. You got tired first." The dog began to talk. "I walk on two legs and drive on four wheels. Of course, I consume more physical strength than you. I am tired and normal. " The host said, "Don't be fooled. Then you said that the man with one foot was a unicycle. Is he more labor-saving? "

17. The dog asked his mother: Who is my father? Mom: I can't remember exactly. The puppy began to cry. Mom asked: What's the matter with you? Do you miss your father? The dog said: No wonder the children call me * * *, which turns out to be true.

18. The owner found a hen dead, so he cursed: Who is it? The dog hid in the corner and shed tears: it is obvious that you humans did it, why do you want to wronged me?

19. A man walked into a pet shop. I want a purebred dog. How's this? Very beautiful. Sounds good. How loyal? Very loyal. I have sold it for four times, but it always comes back by itself.

20. A group of animals are chatting. Donkey: Humans are stupid, but they say they are stupid ... Pigs agree: Humans are fat, but they say they are stupid pigs ... Dogs say: You are still attached, so I am different. You have to say * * * when you know you are a child. Isn't this a plant?

2 1. The tiger tried to hit the wolf, but it seriously hurt the wild dog. The tiger is very guilty: I'm sorry, I admit my mistake! Wild dog: Never mind, it's all my fault! Tiger: What do you mean? Wild dog: If I didn't have a dog's tail, you wouldn't treat me like a dog's tail wolf!

22. The host family gave birth to twins and held a feast at home to celebrate. The watchdog shook his head contemptuously and was silent. A fly saw it and asked, "Why are you unhappy with such a rich banquet?" The dog snorted and said, "What is there to show off in an ostentatious manner by having twins? I gave birth at least once! " The fly smiled: "So I keep a lower profile. I can give birth to hundreds of thousands at a time. When should I celebrate? " It seems that people are really hypocritical! "

23. My wife has a dog, and my husband is very angry. Husband: You have to lose the dog! Wife: Or what? Husband: Then I will never go home again! Wife: OK, dear. Husband: Have you changed your mind? Wife: I decided to live with dogs!

Interesting sentences about animals

1. The mouse and the duck meet in a corner, and the duck says, "Run, the mouse crosses the road, and everyone shouts together." The mouse said, "It doesn't matter. Everyone respects me and won't be beaten. I am Mickey Mouse. " The duck sighed. "Your luck has changed now, but I'm still going to be stabbed." The mouse said, "you can only blame your bad life." You are not Donald Duck. "

2. The bee said: My home is in the tree, which has no influence on you. Hedgehogs don't buy it. Stretched my muscles and said, I am a nail house. Who am I afraid of?

3. Mosquitoes and mobile phones bet on martial arts. The mobile phone shook itself and said to the mosquito, "Look, this is my qigong vibration." Mosquitoes secretly injected plasmodium into the mobile phone owner, and the mobile phone owner started a pendulum. Mosquito put on a qigong look and said to the mobile phone, "Look, my qigong made your master shake."

When the magpie gave birth, the whole family was very happy. The antelope came and knew the good news and said, I run very fast. I will tell everyone the good news. Magpie: OK, thanks. Antelopes run around the whole forest, shouting: happy to be a father, happy to be a father.

The old mosquito said to the little mosquito, "Your generation is so lucky. Now that women are so exposed, you can feast your eyes at any time! " The little mosquito retorted helplessly, "all you see is what they look like." In fact, there are a lot of greasy things on their faces, which often block our throats, and many brothers are choked to death! " !

6. antelope: ostrich, run. Ostrich: Why? Antelope: Don't ask, run, it's too late. The ostrich got a fright and ran away with the antelope. After running dozens of miles, the ostrich was exhausted and said, antelope, I'm exhausted. Stop running, I can't run. Antelope: You run too slowly. The lion suddenly appeared, the antelope said "thank you" to the ostrich and ran away.

7. The ant said: I can drag an object dozens of times heavier than myself. Elephants are not to be outdone: I can carry several tons of things. For a long time, the ant said, come on, break your wrists!

8. As soon as the female mosquito entered the room, she said to the male mosquito, "Husband, there is a store promoting sales today, buying things and giving gifts." The male mosquito asked, "What gift? Look at you. " Mother mosquito said, "Concentrate brand toilet water."

9. Penguins are walking on the road with their bellies up. Chen Jiao, his wife, said, Look at your virtue. Aren't you proud to have a beer belly? Penguins clap their bellies and say, You're out! The gambler said: a small belly is good for love!

10. The snake said to the horse: Brother Ma, how can you covet the gift of mankind? It is not good to have a horseshoe and a saddle. The horse said, what am I? Pets, cats and dogs are greedy and even make underwear.

1 1. The bitter drama in Taiwan Province Province made the mouse cry. Only the water snake did not cry. The mice were very angry and accused the water snake of being cold-blooded. The water snake said, "I don't cry, the bitter water is in my stomach." A mouse said, "You are so cold-blooded, you are afraid to drool!" " "Water snake smiled and said," you are so smart. I want you to taste the bitter water in my stomach. "The mouse is really smart, and calls out to the police:" Everybody run, the water snake will eat us for lunch! " "

12. When the chicken first saw the duck, it thought that it would show off its capital after staying in the sea for a long time. No, I want to sell my eggs as jade. When the duck saw the chicken for the first time, he thought, as soon as it crowed, the sun would scare away. Ask his wife to take care of my children, maybe even get some light and train them into geniuses.

13. Tiger: Comrades, there is an earthquake here. Many relatives came to save us, but we should try our best to save ourselves and reduce their workload. Gecko: I can break my tail and eat it for a few days. It will grow back anyway. Camel; I still have a lot of fat on my hump, which can last for a few days. Snail: I walk with my house on my back every day, not afraid. Snake: I can hibernate without eating or drinking. Floating crying: My life span is only one day. How can I wait for help?

14. Wolf: Monkey, it's time to test your sales ability. Go sell bananas to that bitch. Monkey: Boss, dogs don't eat bananas either. Wolf: You idiot, you can use it without eating.

15. Rabbit: My castle needs to be expanded, so you all have to move out. Without saying a word, the snail picked up the house and left.

16. Two ants were walking on the road when they suddenly saw a big pear. Let's see who is better. An ant said: "Hey, big pear" Italy; Another ant said, "Oh, big pear." Australia, moved to Spain. Hold home, Bulgaria; Eating pears, Kenya; Pears in Lebanon are not tender.

Selected classic funny sentences

1. If the name can decide to change my destiny, I want to change my name to Qian Duoduo …

2. Young girls are precious, but the price of * * * is higher. If you have a rich woman, you can throw them both away!

3. It is painful to pursue the ideological realm beyond the material level.

My profundity is not faked, but my grandeur is faked.

I want everything, but I am shameless. Eat everything, but lose nothing.

6. Prices should be in line with international standards and wages should be in line with China's national conditions.

7. I want to get fat by punching my face, but I don't even have the ability to punch my face …

8. Thank you, thank you uncle, thank you family, thank you ancestors for 18 generations.

9. A good minister is on the right path; A wise man can be a fool, a mediocre man can divide it, and a mediocre man can divide it and be blind.

10. Men's "energy" is used to struggle, not to shoot! !

1 1. You told me to get out, and I got out. You asked me to come back, I'm sorry, go away!

12. Women like two kinds of flowers best in their lives: one is to spend money, and the other is to spend as much as possible!

13. People's sadness is not inferior to dogs, but they think they are much better than dogs!

14. When the wallet swells, find more ladies ... and give the money indirectly to the state for construction!

15. If something becomes a habit, it will happen every day; Endless!

16. Never trust anything that is hard and soft for a while!

17. There is a kind of hatred; Mutually assured destruction, with the call of love; Let's go to the grave!