Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Xiao Zhang likes to mention the sapphire blue BMW X328i, and then the blue sky and white clouds will go together.

Xiao Zhang likes to mention the sapphire blue BMW X328i, and then the blue sky and white clouds will go together.

I finally got my new car. I have been inspecting posts in car home for half a year and got a lot of useful information. I will write down my mental journey here, keep my memories for myself and share my experiences with netizens. Ok, let's sum up my car selection process. ? As a migrant worker in Beijing, Xiao Zhang is doing an ordinary job, living an ordinary life, earning an ordinary income and never learning to drive a car. It can be said that he has no interest. I haven't studied the military, politics and cars that boys like. He belongs to the typical type of ordinary people who have accomplished nothing. Before, my lover's work was not far from me, so I drove to and from work for a while because I could pick up my lover. Later, her company moved, and we went to work in both directions. I prefer taking the subway when I go to work by myself. The subway station is right in front of my house and the company. Time is guaranteed, so I don't have to worry about it. I can also listen to music and read books. I haven't driven much for several years. I moved last year. My new home is far from the subway station, so I can't help driving to and from work. ? I have been driving a 10 Toyota RAV4, and my father-in-law spent 290,000 yuan to buy a sub-top. Really a hero father-in-law. [chuckle ]2.5L engine, four-speed gearbox, to be honest, I always feel good when driving, with enough power, Japanese cars also save fuel and sensitive throttle. As a boy who doesn't know much about cars, it is very comfortable to drive. ? After that, the first time I had the idea of changing cars was in the middle of last year, when the country rose from five to six. A best friend called me and said that Maserati handled the car of National Five, which was very cheap. I still remember those three sentences: "down payment: 380,000 yuan 1.8 million yuan, and Martha will drive home", saying that he ordered a black and red interior, and only one red interior was left. After listening to it, I thought it might be possible. Later, I also realized that my best friend, as a nightclub, was the boss of "a bottle of spades for a grandson at each table" as soon as she entered the venue. I am a floating spring otaku, and I don't need to fail.

I continued to drive Toyota until the end of last year. My wife came back and said, "Our colleague said that a down payment of more than 100,000 yuan can be exchanged for X3. Let's go and have a look. " My wife is what she says, so I went to see it this weekend. ? Because I drive a RAV4, I have always had feelings for SUVs. Look at our fourth grade. Actually, it's not much worse than the big brother behind me. [Laughter]

Although the economic conditions at home are not good, I like to rent some cars that I can't afford when I go out, which can be regarded as "pulling my ass with a knife-opening my eyes." SUBURBEN, the originator of a 5.7L SUV in the United States, can't forget the "advanced feeling" of stepping on the accelerator after ten years? [strong]

Later, I went to the United States and rented herdsman, only to understand how uncomfortable the real off-road vehicle was. Hard seat, loud noise and high fuel consumption. No one can surpass it on the highway. When I came back, my riders told me what torque was, and I didn't understand it, but did herders really take pictures? [strong]

Later, I drove Discovery 4 in Iceland. I thought it was awesome at that time. When I went to the seaside, I felt I could do anything. Other cars were trapped in the snow. After coming back, I heard that the new generation found that 5 can be obtained as long as 50 or 60, so I went to see it specially. As a result, I learned the popular "Centennial Land Rover Discovered and 5 Ruined". Do you know? [Laughter]

Later, I drove a BMW 120 in Ireland. Although it is 1 series, I comfort myself that it is "imported 1 series". Running water feels like a maglev train on a rural road in Ireland. Really conquered me. I didn't know much at the time. Now I think it may be what you call "operability". [Laughter]

My wife has always liked BMW, so let's aim at X3. I found a 4S shop near my home. Once in, I don't know anything. I can't tell 25, 28 and 30 apart. I am not very enthusiastic when I see this layman. We also got a general understanding. ? After I came out, I thought, I've seen everything. I want to see all the relevant information before making a decision. Xiao Zhang is a Capricorn with type A blood, an obsessive-compulsive cancer in obsessive-compulsive disorder. His nature belongs to the kind that the principles of everything should be clarified. I went to the hospital, and the doctor said that I should take cephalosporin for this inflammation. I won't eat until I go home and find all the cephalosporins on the medical website, so I didn't pay attention to the car before. Now I want to concentrate, so I have to find out all the cephalosporins before taking them. When I come back, I will go home and do my homework. After all, it is my company's website. I still have to support it. What power, torque, wheelbase and horsepower make me confused. I also saw a bunch of comparisons of the same paragraph. Let Xiao Zhang explain: First of all, it must be BBA. Audi is so much cheaper. Let's take a look at Q5L first and have a test drive. To be honest, I don't like it. The plastic is too strong and the sound insulation is not good. The advantage is that it is cheap, and it finally passed. ? Then GLC300L. Starlight China Network is super awesome, and it is Mercedes-Benz. This offer is still very attractive to Xiao Zhang. It is said on the Internet that GLC costs more than 400,000 yuan to buy a bidding car, with poor power, poor chassis, poor technology and poor quality, but I don't care much. I don't have any big requirements for motivation. I just drive to and from work, but it won't be worse than my old Toyota. So I went to the store to have a look. That interior is very advanced, more advanced than all the cars I have seen, but I found that the 300L is not a leather seat, which I still mind. I put up with all the other differences, but I didn't even get a leather seat. This is too stingy, so I didn't choose it in the end. ? By the way, I've seen so many cars. Mercedes-Benz and BMW have stepped on all brands, but they don't step on each other and still respect each other [chuckle]? Later, when I passed by Volvo, I said I would have a look when I came. I saw XC90 when I went in. Seriously, this is the most competitive car I have here. Finally, X3 won by a narrow margin. I went in and asked how much the car was. Sales said that our T6 four-wheel drive Zhiyi version sells for 690,000 yuan. I said sorry to bother you, and then the sales said that the discount is now 1.9 million yuan! God, this car has always been a 654.38+0 million car in my young mind. Now it's actually less than 600 thousand. It's not a beggar version, it's a T6 four-wheel drive Zhiyi version. It's still seven o'clock. Turbocharged, awesome. Finally, I checked a lot of information. Because seven cars are inspected every year, the brand niche has given up. Well, China people are chasing and killing. The more they discount, the less they want to buy it. [insidious]? Then I went to see the Touareg. Touareg sales heard XC90, which probably means "the engine is not in the middle. Can the car drive? " We are a horizontal mid-engine that comes from the same production line in Slovakia as Bentley Tim Yue. If you change the shell, it will be Bentley. As long as 500 thousand, whoever buys it is proud. Later, we lost to the phrase "500,000 to buy a Volkswagen logo". Alas, we are still vain without money! ? Cadillac XT6 was born, and the more you watch it, the more you like it. The 5-meter-long American muscle car reminds me of the Chevrolet SUBURBAN I drove that year. It has high configuration, good sound insulation and BOSE stereo. Six seats don't need two-year annual inspection, and I like everything. The only problem is that Cadillac has just been listed. It is said that it will lose a lot if you buy it just after it is listed, and you have to give it up in the end. [Chuckles]? Later, I listened to my friend's advice to see bullying. As soon as I got on the bus, I found that it didn't match my temperament. My suspension spring was not overbearing enough, so I gave up. ? Then I went to Lincoln to see the pilot. It's really luxurious, too small, and it's not as good as XC90 in my heart. ? I also test-drive the 5 series. Online said that SUV is a compromise of middle-aged men's life. The chassis, handling and advanced feeling of a car are much stronger than those of an SUV. I said, can we try? I tried 530 in the shop and tried my wife's colleague's 5 Series GT, but I still didn't like the feeling of sitting on the ground. Maybe I am fat. The SUV sits high and has a view from top to bottom. I still choose the familiar flavor [cute].

Finally, X3 is locked. People in China like to find acquaintances. They found a colleague in the vehicle business in the company, helped recommend a 4S shop, and talked for a long time. In the end, they didn't buy it from others, and there was nothing they could do. It's too far from my home, so it's very troublesome to maintain it in the future. Finally, they sold the car to a 4S shop near their home, and even lied that they bought another car. Embarrassed [shy]? Recently, the epidemic has not been so serious, and spring is blooming. I think it should be easy to bargain when everyone's sales are not ideal through the epidemic, so I went to a 4S shop near my home to discuss the price. I don't quite understand. It seems that the forum won't let me write the business and price, so I'll hide here. In short, I am a loan plus replacement, belonging to the most popular customer of 4S shop, naked car+purchase tax+insurance+rape package. ? Instead of replacing it with my father-in-law's Toyota, I replaced it with the little LaVida that my father-in-law bought for us when we got married (you are not mistaken, it is all my father-in-law's, and the soft rice king Xiao Zhang is beside me? ), only gave more than thirty thousand [failure]? During the epidemic, the store was empty.

As for 25, 28 and 30, 25, I certainly won't consider it. As soon as I heard it, I didn't even enter without a key. Our old Toyota ten years ago had this function, as well as leather seats, 25i passed directly. ? Originally, I wanted to buy a 30i, which cost tens of thousands more, but it has many functions such as 360-ring shadow, lifting display (I think it's awesome), but when I was driving, I found that as an old driver, I looked in the mirror as soon as I backed up, but I didn't look at the ring shadow at all, and there was an electric lumbar support. I haven't felt the difference for a long time. The most important thing is that there is no deluxe edition for the 30i, and finally we locked the 28i. ? It is said that the small ones buy white ones, the big ones buy black ones and the small ones buy silver-gray ones, but my wife likes black, so it is emerald green, and my wife who can't tolerate dirt doesn't care. Because I like luxury, I don't have to choose carbon black. It seems that exercise is much better than luxury, but there is no way. It's too unstable to start a sport at my age, and luxury conforms to the temperament of my middle-aged and elderly shock absorber. As for the steering wheel of sports thong that everyone loves. ? As soon as the sales were checked, the warehouse was loaded with 28i sapphire blue, and there happened to be a current car that went offline in February, just him! ? After that, it is the preparation materials, the procedures of Laolavida, and the loan information. The most important thing is that the daughter-in-law unit can have extra discounts on the list of BMW's major customers and prepare a lot of information. ? As a result, many people posted that "the new car was killed by someone", and my new car was killed by a 4S shop. The salesman called me and said that I went to the warehouse to change your car today and found a small pit on the A-pillar on the right side of the car you ordered. OMG, change the new car into an old one before driving. I said definitely not. Then I went to the store to have a look. It's a small hole the size of a fingernail. It is said that it was made during logistics. I said, change it. I checked and said that this was the only car we had during the epidemic, and then we had to wait for production to resume. I said, let's wait. Sales say April is the second quarter. I said that 30i had a car, but I got the answer that 30i was all white, which I definitely couldn't accept. Finally, I said that logistics is insured. If you accept this car, you can pay 15000 yuan. If you don't accept it, you can wait for the car behind you or cancel the contract. I called my old friend who has been engaged in property insurance for 20 years and asked him. He said it was good. Just check whether the A-pillar is broken. You should just let the hail make a small hole, and then Lei Zhenzi will come down to tell you that he is sorry and compensate you 15000. Does that sound much more comfortable? I think so too. Let's not throw it around. Just spend some money to repair it in the 4S shop, and drive a new car quickly [applause]

You can pick up the car in two days after completing the formalities, and let my dad drive the old LaVida to accompany you. My dad was a little sad to see LaVida being driven away. I said nothing, you can drive a Toyota soon, how nice [chuckle]? The cars in the 4S shop are luxurious sapphire. It looks really atmospheric. Many people will say "My X 1 looks like X3" or "My X3 looks like X5". I always feel that I don't understand. What did you buy and what did you open? Why make it look like something else? It sounds like "Oh, I married Zhou Jiebao, an imitator in Jay Chou, who looks like Jay Chou". Don't you know who you sleep with every day?

The engine compartment looks solid, novel and beautiful!

But the next day, when I added glass water, I found cat paw prints. I was wondering if I should get a net cover.

Is it so difficult to give a box of oil for hundreds of thousands of things? The meter shows that this oil can travel 10 km. Feed you at the gas station before going out, and finally choose 95 out of 92 [smile].

The car drove home, and it was almost a year since I moved, but I couldn't find a parking space in the basement. We can't find a developer or an intermediary. This parking space in our community is really hot, so we can only park on the side of the road first, and the peach blossoms are in bloom. I hope it will get better and better in the future ~

I like this ass. BMW Brilliance doesn't dig it. I just can't afford X5' s domestic X3[ chuckle].

I think this interior is very luxurious, but I still like the unique bay wood interior of 30i, which looks good ~

Everyone says that the ambient light at night is not as good as Mercedes-Benz, but it is already beautiful for a person who has been driving an old Toyota ~

I think this carpet looks great ~

I still think the luxury version of the floret wheel hub looks better, which may be a matter of opinion. What pities me is Bridgestone's tires. I saw a lot of abuse on the internet, and I think it should be less evil. After all, they are all regular big brands. Drive carefully.

I don't pick up girls when I am old, so the only "steering wheel with watch" is dedicated to the car owners. My wife said, "Don't buy these broken watches, have an X5. Doesn't she smell good? " I can only kneel on the washboard and think silently, "What do you know, an ignorant woman?" ? [grievance]

I drove 100 km these two days. Why not simply talk about your feelings? Advantages:? First, the steering wheel is light and invincible, pointing to where to play; ? Second, the feeling of crossing a ditch is that the whole car is very strong, and I don't quite understand it. This may be what everyone said "the chassis is solid"; ? Third, the sound insulation is excellent. There is a joke in RAV4 that I will scold someone who doesn't give me a rest while driving, but I dare not drive RAV4 because I am afraid that he will hear the sound insulation of X3 and Harman, and listening to music is really a pleasure; ? Tucao:? First, the fuel consumption display is 14, which is not satisfactory. There may be traffic jams these two days. Try again. ? Second, the feeling of procrastination is serious. At first, I didn't understand what everyone said about "slow dragging". Now I fully understand that giving oil below 30KM is like someone pulling your pants. It is said that BMW's power recovery system is actually not very cool, and the power above 30 km is endless, which is very enjoyable; ? Third, the rearview mirror is so strange. It is not only small in size, but also deformed, which makes me always judge the position of the rear car. Maybe you are used to seeing Toyota's large flat mirror, so get used to it. ? Fourth, when parking, there are still more than two meters from the car behind, so I won't go. I have to refuel to keep reversing. Is this design afraid that I won't hit the car behind me? ? I won't bother you. I heard that there is no X3 Che Hui You in Beijing. It's really disorganized and undisciplined [snickering]. Finally, I want everyone to have a kind heart as soon as possible. Bon voyage, no worries [strong].