Who tells jokes on a first-come-first-served basis?

1) A patient came to see a psychiatrist. Patient: I always thought I was a bird. Doctor: Oh, that's serious. When did it start? Patient: Because I am a bird ... (2) A doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient: What would you do if I cut off one of your ears? The patient replied, then I can't hear you. The doctor listened: mm-hmm, it's normal. The doctor asked again, what will happen to you if I cut off your other ear again? The patient replied, then I won't watch it. The doctor is getting nervous. How could he not see it? The patient replied: because the glasses will fall off. (3) Two mental patients escaped from the hospital. They ran and climbed a tree. One of them jumped from the tree and rolled and rolled. Then he looked up and said to the man above, hey, why don't you come down? The person above answered him: No-OK-Ah-I'm not familiar with it yet ... (4) There is an old lady in a mental hospital who squats at the gate of the mental hospital wearing black clothes and holding a black umbrella every day. The doctor thought: to cure her, we must start from understanding her. So the doctor also wore black clothes, took a black umbrella and squatted there with her. They were silent for a month, and the old lady finally said to the doctor, are you a mushroom, too? (5) When a mental hospital heard that the leader was coming to the hospital to inspect the situation, the dean called the patient to a meeting. At the meeting, the dean said: "This afternoon, there are very important leaders coming to visit, and all the people will go to the door to meet them. When welcoming, all patients should stand on both sides of the hospital gate and stand neatly. When I cough, everyone applauds together, the warmer the better; When I stamp my foot, I must stop completely. I can't make mistakes. If everyone is ready, we can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person screws up, no one will eat steamed buns, remember? " The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember!" This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the patient who welcomed him was already standing at the door. At this time, as the dean coughed, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. Infected by the warm atmosphere, the visiting leaders smiled and applauded with everyone and entered the hospital. Seeing that the leader had entered the hospital, the dean stamped his foot and the applause stopped completely, very neatly. Only this leader is still smiling and clapping, and the dean is very satisfied. Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger jumped out of the welcome crowd, strode to the leader, gave him a big slap in the face and shouted angrily, "You don't want to eat steamed bread?" Beijingers, French and Americans are walking in the desert together. They are dying of thirst. Suddenly, three people found a magic lamp and pulled out a magic lamp. He said, "I can grant each of you three wishes." The Americans said first, "I want a box of dollars", "There are two more", "Well, another box of dollars", "The last one" and "Well, the last one is to send me back to America". Whew, the Americans disappeared and the French were anxious. I want a beautiful woman, well, I want another beautiful woman, another one, give me a bottle of Erguotou, make two more wishes, another bottle of Erguotou and another one. Beijingers saw that it was boring for a person to drink two bottles of wine, so they said, "bring them back and drink with me." Hoo, the Americans and the French are back. So the three of them walked on, but fortunately they found the magic lamp and pulled out a magic lamp. "Ha ha, I am the younger brother of the magic lamp just now, and the magic is not that high. I can only satisfy two wishes of each of you. " The French and Americans thought about it this time, but it was useless to say anything. If they let him get it back, they will die. Let him speak first, so they pushed Beijing to the front. Beijingers say, "First." Beijing touched his head with wine and thought for a while, but didn't speak for a long time. The French and Americans were anxious and urged him to say, "Speak quickly." So the Beijinger suddenly said, "Well, I have nothing else to do. Go home." Whew, the ghost committed suicide and went back to a man to see God. God asked, "My child, why did you kill yourself?" The man said, "I pursued a woman, and she said I didn't have a tall and handsome figure and appearance, so she turned me down." God nodded thoughtfully and said, "This is true. Visual effects are very important in love. Well, I'll give you a beautiful shell that is unparalleled in the world. Now go back and pursue your happiness. " At some point, God said a spell, and with a whoosh, the man left. A week later, the man committed suicide for the second time and came back to see God again. God asked, "My child, why did you kill yourself again?" The man said painfully, "When I went back, the woman said that although I was handsome, I didn't know her at all. I was rejected again. " God nodded understandingly: "Of course, if you don't know someone, how do you know how to give her happiness?" Well, I'll give you superhuman insight and intuition, and you can go back and pursue your happiness. "God said, and read a spell, only heard a whoosh, and the man left again. A week later, the man came back, which was the third suicide. God was surprised and asked, "My child, why did you commit suicide again?"? "The man said in great pain: After I went back, although I was handsome and knew her well, she said that she had given her body to another man. God looked at the unfortunate man sympathetically and finally said, "Well, since you like that woman so much, I'll let the man die, so that the woman is yours." Go back! Then God said a spell. Just in the middle of the spell, he heard "Crash!" With a cry, god fell to the ground and died hard. The man said happily, "Now I can finally go back to pursue that beautiful nun!" " "A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, eat cucumber and pull watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit. The blind man stuttered when riding a bike, stuttering to see the road, and suddenly saw a deep ditch, stuttering and exclaiming: ditch! ! ! The blind man sang back, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!" " "So they fell into the ditch. A swimming coach is shopping in the shopping center. A beautiful lady greeted him. He looked intently and found that it was one of his students. He then said loudly, "You really didn't recognize you when you put on your clothes! "A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know, just arrived! It is said that on a dark night, on the longest and scariest road, a taxi driver drove there and a woman waved to get on the bus by the roadside. It was quiet all the way until the woman spoke. She said to the driver, "apples are delicious for you ..." The driver felt great and took a bite. The woman asked, "Is it delicious?" The driver said, "delicious! The woman replied, "I remember I liked apples before I died." ... "Wow ...&; * $ # @ ... When the driver heard this, he was scared into an ambulance, and his face turned white ... Only the woman slowly tilted her head to the front and said to the driver, "But I don't like eating after giving birth! ..... "Teacher: Honestly, do you smoke? Boy a: no teacher: no? Well, French fries, please. Boy A naturally stretched out two fingers and took it ... Teacher: No smoking? ! Call your parents ... [Scene 2] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy b: no teacher: no? Well, French fries, please. B took the French fries carefully with her palm, because she heard that Teacher A: Aren't you going to dip in some ketchup? B accidentally dipped too much, and immediately played it with your fingers ... Teacher: The posture of playing ash is very skilled. Call your parents ... [Scene 3] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy c: no teacher: no, ok, French fries. Because of the first two examples, C carefully finished the French fries with sweat. Teacher: Aren't you going to take a root home for your classmates? C picked up the French fries and put them in his ear ... Teacher: No? Call your parents ... [Scene 4] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy d: no. Teacher: Good. Have a French fries. Eating French fries in fear. Teacher: Aren't you going to take a root home for your classmates? D carefully put the chips in his upper pocket again. The teacher suddenly shouted: The headmaster is coming! D quickly took the chips out of his pocket, threw them on the ground, and stepped on them with his feet ... Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ... [Scene 5] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy E: No, Teacher: Fine. Have a French fries. E just took French fries, and the teacher said, won't you invite me to eat? E quickly handed me the French fries with both hands, and then took out the lighter ... Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ... [Scene 6] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy f: no. Teacher: Good. Have a French fries. I ate it in fear. Teacher: Suddenly shouted: The headmaster is coming! F sweaty palms, but still calmly bowed his head and said, hello, headmaster! Teacher: The headmaster will smell your mouth. F takes out the French fries: No, they are still there. The fire hasn't been lit yet ... [Scene 7] Teacher: Do you smoke or not? Boy G: I swear to God, I will never smoke again. Teacher: You really don't smoke? Ok, let's have a French fries. G naturally took the French fries and ate them clean. Teacher: That's a good boy. What brand of French fries do you usually like? (proudly): Greater China ... [Scene 8] Teacher: Have a French fries. Boy n: Thank you, no need. Teacher: ... The website of Joke Daquan:/ym.htm.