Can anyone provide me with a TOM-style joke in English, a very simple one?

1)TOM'S EXCUSE

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go

Slow".

Tom's excuse

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I pass the corner, there is a road sign that says: "School----Slow down."

2) Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches. When Tommy came back, mother asked him, "Did you buy a good box of matches?"

"Yes, Mum." Tommy replied, "I have tried them all." ”

A box of matches

Mom asked Tommy to buy a box of useful matches from the store across the street. When Tommy came back, his mother asked him, "Did you buy good matches?"

"Yes, Mom." Tommy replied, "I tried them all."< /p>

3)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.

Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing !

Driving

Father: Oops, I just made an illegal right turn.

Susie: It’s okay, Dad, the policeman following you also turned around like this.

4)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

Two birds

Teacher: There are two birds here, one is a sparrow. Can anyone point out which is a swallow and which is a sparrow?

Student: I can’t point out, but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell me.

Student: Next to a swallow is a sparrow, and next to a sparrow is a swallow.

5)Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?

Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.

Teacher : Think carefully, and tell me why.

Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.

Half is still five tenths

Teacher: Would you rather have half a tangerine or five-tenths of an tangerine?

Gerald: I would rather have half.

Teacher: Think carefully and give your reasons.

Gerald: Because if you cut the citrus into five-tenths, too much juice will be lost.

Heat and Cold

A class of Physics at school. The teacher: "Now, who can tell me anything about heat?" A small boy held up his hand: "Heat makes things larger, Sir, and cold make things smaller." "All right! "Give an example." "In summer days are longer because it is hot, in winter they are shorter because it is cold."

Hot and Cold

A physics class is being held in school.

The teacher asked: "Who can talk about the understanding of heat now?" A little boy raised his hand and answered: "Teacher "Heat can make things expand, and cold can make things shrink." The teacher said: "Very good, give me an example." "In summer, the days become longer because the weather is too hot; in winter the days shorten because the weather is too cold."

The Doctor Knows Better

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor,

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

The doctor knows better

A man was knocked down by a taxi on the street and sent to hospital After entering the hospital, his wife stood in front of his bed and said to the doctor: "I think he is seriously injured." The doctor said: "I'm afraid he is dead."

Hearing the doctor's words , the man turned his head and said: "I'm not dead, I'm still alive." The wife said: "Jing Jing, the doctor knows better than you."

The Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann? ”

“A lot of little holes tied together with strings.” replied the little girl.

fishing net

“Can you tell me what the fishing net is made of? Yes, Ann? "The teacher asked.

"Tie many small holes together with ropes to make a fishing net. "The little girl replied.

4.

The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

“George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said

that two and four were six too..."

New Teacher

On September 1st, George came home from school.

"George, do you like your new teacher?" Mom asked.

"Mom, I don't like it, because she said 3 plus 3 makes 6, but then she said 2 plus 4 also makes 6."

5,

A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates

were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then

hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

A physics exam

During a physics exam, while the students were still thinking hard, Nick quickly answered the first question. A question.

The question is: Why do we always see lightning first and then hear thunder when it thunders?

Nick’s answer is: Because the eyes are in front and the ears are in the back