Kanji jokes short

Short jokes about Chinese characters

Most of the jokes reveal the perverse phenomena in life and are ironic and entertaining. The following is a short list of jokes about Chinese characters that I have compiled for you. It is for reference only. I hope it can help you.

Short jokes in Chinese characters 1

1. New interpretation of the word "hui"

Son: "Dad, how do you write the word 'hui' in simplified Chinese characters?"

Father: "There is a cloud under the character human." "

Son: "Why? "

Father: "When you are in a meeting, you just say what others say. This is called 'following what others say'. "

2. Only eat one ton

The young man decided to hold a wedding in his hometown in the countryside. The man's father sent a telegram to his in-laws in the city

Asking: " How many people can come? Be prepared. "

The in-laws called back and said: "Not many people are going, just prepare a ton of rice." "He wrote "ton" instead of "ton".

Soon he received a telegram from the countryside: "The wedding date has been postponed for one month because it is difficult to get a ton of rice. "

3. The True Story of Oppi-Dan

Director Jia said excitedly: "Today I will watch the movie "The True Story of Oppi-Dan" by the union. "

A young man smiled: "Director Jia, you read it wrong. That is "The True Story of Ah Q". ""What? I read it wrong! ? I've been playing cards for decades, why don't I know the preserved man? Go away? ”

4. The old man lost his teeth

The two brothers took their grandfather to the hospital for medical treatment. The elder brother saw that the “ling” for age on the registration form was mistakenly printed as “ling”, so he was right The doctor said: "The word 'ling' is missing the word 'teeth'. "

"It's a 'teeth', the doctor said, because we are a geriatric clinic! "

5. Dr. Qu Yuan

In the history class, the teacher asked the same student: "Who is Qu Yuan? "

"It's a doctor. "The student replied.

"Nonsense! "

"Why are you talking nonsense? The book says he is a doctor! "

6. Calligraphy Art

A pair of fashionably dressed young men and women walked into a newspaper sales department hand in hand. The young man pointed at a book of "Popular Flowers" and said to the salesperson : "Buy a copy of "Public Flowers Bloom". "The salesperson smiled at him and handed it to him. The young woman next to him took off the toad mirror, took it over and looked at the title of the magazine and asked, "Why does the word "open" have an extra vertical line on it? The young man replied: "Is this the art of calligraphy?" ""oh. "The young woman nodded.

7. Paotang

In a lively market, a fish seller shouted: "Fresh fish! "At this time, a bubble gum seller shouted: "Pabble gum! (Soaked in the soup)" After hearing this, the fish seller said to the candy seller: "Hey, why did you say that my fish was soaked in the soup? "The more they quarreled, the more fierce they became. At this moment, a bean sprout seller shouted again: "Bean sprouts! (Fight)" A security guard came over and asked: "Who else is quarreling with them? "It happened that a fruit seller shouted: "Youguo! (There is me)." After hearing this, the security guard said: "Okay, let's take the four of you away together. 8. Other words

A salesperson in a store wrote on the blackboard "Now sold separately" four words.

A customer next to him said: "Comrade, you wrote a different word for 'zero' in retail."

The salesperson glared at the customer and said: "Come on, the word 'zero' is There is also a stand-up knife next to him!"

9. Each other

Mr. Zhou took the business card handed over by Mr. Chen, looked at it and said: "Mr. Dong, I have admired you for a long time, I have admired you for a long time. "Mr. Chen took Mr. Zhou's business card and said, "Are you Mr. Ji?" Mr. Zhou was unhappy: "My surname is Zhou. Why did I offend you?" Mr. Chen said. My surname is Chen. If you want to cut off my ears, why don’t you want me to skin you?”

10. Bet

In the stands, two strangers started arguing. . "Team A will definitely win. I made a mistake, I spelled my last name backward!" Team A will definitely lose.

Otherwise, write my last name horizontally! "What's your surname?" "My surname is Tian, ??what about you?" "The surname is Wang"

11. Bickering

Yao and Li met at a tea pavilion and had a harmonious conversation. Li asked Yao, "What's your surname?" "

Yao said: "My surname is Yao. "

Li said: "But the word for ominous omen is next to the word for a man who steals and a woman is rampant? "

Yao listened to his words and turned to ask him, and answered that his surname was Li.

Yao responded and said: "But the word "wood" on the coffin has the word "zi" on the bottom. ? "

12. Mandarin

People in the south often speak Mandarin reluctantly. As the saying goes, it is the so-called blue and green Mandarin.

During the Republic of China, there was a certain person who was very envious of doing so. As an official, I put on official airs, act official, and speak official language all day long. One day at breakfast, I said to my family: "Go to my porridge box and get my green head." "The family didn't understand and stared down. A was furious and shouted: "You bastard! Something that doesn’t work! Don’t you know that porridge is called porridge in Mandarin, and bamboo has the same pronunciation as porridge, so isn’t a bamboo box a porridge box? In the official dialect, "tou" is called "tou", and "tou" has the same pronunciation with "bean". There is a pack of mung beans in my box, isn't it a "green head"? ”

13. Sir

A: Do you know, did humans come first, men or women?

B: Men came first.

A: Based on what?

B: I don’t know this. Isn’t it an ironclad proof that our man calls him sir?

14. Fix the problem after the situation has been solved.

< p> A certain teacher's interpretation of the book had quite new insights. One day he said, "It's not too late to mend the prison after a dead sheep." Two sentences said: "To die means to die, and the name of sheep is to make up for it. He got up and said, even if the sheep dies, it is not too late to offer sacrifices to Tailao. This means that people do not need to kill live sheep for sacrifice. "

15. There is a huge disparity between the numbers

There was a man who was uneducated and incompetent, but he always loved to show off in front of the children.

One day, his son came back from school When I was doing my Chinese homework at home, I didn't know what it meant when I wrote "a huge disparity between the numbers", so I asked my dad. When his dad saw it, he scolded him in a lecturing tone: "What's wrong? I'm already in middle school. This word Still don’t understand? That describes the misery of the poor in the old society. Many widows could no longer survive and had to hang themselves from the rafters. This is called "outnumbered". From now on, you need to use more brains in your studies. "

16. Use an old scale for composition

Chinese teacher: "Where is the idiom "half a catty and five taels"? ”

Student: “During the math test, I answered that half a catty equals eight taels and got zero points.” "

Chinese teacher: "Remember, you cannot use an old scale when composing. " Short jokes in Chinese characters 2

1. During the Mid-Autumn Festival, admiring the moon is a must-have program for people, and Chinese characters also come to hold the moon.

Danzi says: Once I lean on the moon , I immediately had the courage to play with Chang'e.

Ba Zi said: I wish I could get close to the moon, and soon I would not be dry, but plump.

Ancient Zi said. : When I stand on the moon, my old-fashioned demeanor immediately changes, and I may start to act haphazardly.

Zhizi said: If I stand on the moon, it will definitely be extremely romantic.

The word "empty" says: I am close to the moon, and I am full of enthusiasm, and I will no longer be empty.

The word "empty" says: When I land on the moon, my hips will escape the gravity of the earth and no longer sag. p>

2. The Chinese character "Dan" says: I want to escape Japan, resist Japan to the end, and persist until victory wholeheartedly.

The character "Zhao" says: I want to escape Japan and become a leader. The anti-Japanese doctor carrying a red cross medicine box.

The word "Xu" says: I want to escape the Japanese.

The word "Zhi" says: I want to escape Japan. To escape from the Japanese, he stabbed the right-wingers in the chest with a dagger.

The word "Xing" said: I want to escape from the Japanese. I am born with a Chinese character and die with an anti-Japanese spirit...

3 , Mr. Li said to his son: "Chinese characters are characters that have both sound, shape and meaning, such as the character 'ye'. Its traditional Chinese character is 'ye', which means the father who is a little hard of hearing, then he is the grandfather." "

The son said: "I understand, 'Dad' is a fierce father. "

Mr. Li said: "If you don't want to call me dad, then call me dad.

The son said: "You can only call me Dad if you have multiple fathers. I am only one father, so I can only call you Dad." "

4. The soldier said to Qiu: Brother, you have stepped on a landmine. Why are both your legs gone?

The king said to the emperor: What are the benefits of being an emperor? Look at it. , hair turned white;

Mouth said to him: My dear, I have been pregnant for so long without saying a word;

Guo said to Naked: Brother, please put on your clothes It’s better not to wear any clothes!

Bi Duibei said: Why should the couple divorce? p> The minister said to Ju: The area is the same, but I have three rooms and two living rooms. Short jokes in Chinese characters 3

Eating dumplings

One day I went to a restaurant to eat dumplings with a foreign friend.

The beautiful service lady came to ask, and my friend always asked, "How much does it cost to sleep"?

The lady was very embarrassed, and she was very embarrassed. Angry, I quickly explained that he was asking how much the dumplings were.

When the dumplings were served, I asked him if he wanted some mustard.

He asked the lady if there was any "program". Ah?

The lady said cheerfully, "Yes, what kind of program do you want?" "

"It's the yellow one! "

Eating standing

A foreign girl married to China. During breakfast, she was told that she couldn't eat fried dough sticks: "You eat it with dip." "

She stood up immediately and was told again, "You eat it with dipping!" "

She was confused and said aggrievedly: "Let me eat standing up. I have already stood up. Where should I stand? "

Make something after seeing a chicken

Once upon a time, there was a landowner who loved to eat chicken. The tenants rented his land and had to pay the rent alone. They had to give him a chicken first.

There was a tenant named Zhang San who went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented the land for the second year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag and paid the rent. When he told the landowner about the land he had been assigned the following year, the landowner saw that his hands were empty, so he raised his eyes to the sky and said, "This land is not allowed to be divided into three types." "Zhang San understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.

When the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his mind and said: "If you don't give it to Zhang San, give it to someone else."

< p> Zhang San said: "Your words become so fast! "

The landlord replied: "That sentence just now was "nonsense (chicken) talk", but now this sentence was made based on the opportunity (chicken)."

The coach said : "The first class kills chickens, the second class steals eggs, I'll make porridge for you." (The first class shoots, the second class drops bombs, I'll show you.)

A foreigner came to China Come and give yourself a Chinese name, Wei Mao. He is looking for a job in China. He came to a company, and a person asked him: "What is your surname?" He replied: "My surname is Wei." "Wei what?" "Why? Do I have to say why even my surname is Wei?"

< p>The bus I was driving arrived at the station that day, and the passengers got off the bus. The moment I was about to close the car door, a lady shouted outside the car door; "I'm going to die in your car!"

I was so nervous that I immediately closed the car door and stepped on the accelerator, thinking; "In the city There are so many weird things happening to me. "

Unexpectedly, the lady actually called a taxi and chased my bus, and finally stopped it.

The car door opened, and the lady yelled again; "Why don't you stop? I'm going to die in your car!"

I asked her in fear; "Miss, what is it that you can't think of?" "

He walked to a seat angrily, then picked up a bunch of keys and said to me, "I want [the keys] to be in your car!" ;