What are the cold jokes?

One day, a rabbit unfortunately fell into a box and came out as a duck. Do you know why? Because there is a transformer in the box.

In the evening self-study, the teacher said: Don't think that I don't know that you play mobile phones ~ no one will stare at their crotch and laugh.

In the evening, my daughter called her mother anxiously: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, there must be another woman! " Mother comforted softly: "silly child, be good, don't think the worst, something may have happened!" " "

Puppet made a girlfriend, full of joy. A few days later, my girlfriend suddenly said, puppet, I don't want to ML with you anymore. It hurts to be poked by sawdust every time! The sad puppet went to the carpenter to find a way. The carpenter said to him, this is very simple. You just need to sand it with sandpaper. A few days later, the speaker asked: Have you made up with your girlfriend? The puppet replied, "Who needs a girlfriend with sandpaper?"

I bought a notebook to show my grandmother. Grandma asked: What is this? I: This thing is very good. It has everything you want to know. Grandma: Is it so delicious? Let me ask you a few questions. Me: OK. Then open Baidu. Grandma: How much hair do I have? Me:-! I can't find it. Grandma: Where did your dead grandfather go? Me: Can I ask one more question, Grandma: How long can I live? Me: …! Grandma: I can't find anything ! !

Boyfriend and girlfriend showdown. W: Give me a reason to break up. M: We are not suitable. W: What's the matter? M: The gender is inappropriate.

Today, I spent 150 yuan on a very abstract hairstyle. After returning to the dormitory, I was strongly criticized by several roommates! At this time, a classmate who was silent for a long time concluded: "This hairstyle is very cost-effective! I only spent 150 yuan and cut my hair for 250 yuan. "

Children at risk are being taught how to deal with it on TV. I want to test my two-year-old son, so I pretend to faint and see what he can do! The son shouted, "Mom, Mom, what's wrong with you?" I opened my eyes with my hand and said, "Mom, are you really dead?" I waited for a long time, but I didn't hear anything from him. Through my narrowed eyes, I saw my son counting the money in his wallet.

When my colleague left just now, I took a screenshot of his computer desktop and set it to print as a desktop. Then move all the files on the desktop to a folder on disk, so that the desktop looks the same as usual. When he came back, he clicked the mouse wildly, but there was no response! It's still turning off, turning on, turning off, turning on, turning off, turning on. ...

Lao Zhang went for an injection, and many people were waiting in the hospital.

Lao Zhang waited for a long time and was a little anxious. He went to the door of the injection room and listened: "Today is the last day of your internship. Let's make an evaluation! "

Hearing this, Lao Zhang got a fright. I wonder what an intern nurse has. Let me hide!

He went out for a walk and found no one in the hospital when he came back. He approached the injection room and heard "these children make the patient so miserable!" "

Lao Zhang was happy and went in and said, "Give me an injection!"

After seeing him, an old nurse smiled and shouted to the room, "The nurse who just failed, come out to make up the exam."

My best friend and her boyfriend are first love. They are extremely pure, but occasionally a little evil, very cute ~ ~

Two people get together at Christmas. Boyfriend asked his best friend: wife is like a notebook, girlfriend is like a desktop. Do you know the difference?

The girlfriends have been puzzling for a long time, and consulting the sisters is fruitless.

Her boyfriend announced the answer: the notebook can be used in bed. ...

My best friend blushes, but my sister is black.

When I went to work in the morning, on the bus, I found several people around me looking at me strangely. I ignored their eyes, fingers and whispers with a very fixed thinking. At this time, my only thought is to show them a sensational "Above the Moon" with a small room. Finally, an old lady pointed to my brother and said, little friend, are you wearing your clothes backwards? I looked down, yes, I put on the T-shirt inside, and then I realized that their strange eyes were just to look at 2B. I want to be a seven-foot man, and I can't stand the eyes of these amateurs. So I made an earth-shattering decision now. I took off my clothes and turned them back to wear them in front of the public. Just after undressing, I found that everyone's eyes changed again. How can I describe it to you? For example, they just looked at 2B implicitly, but now this look is absolutely naked and not implicit. Gee, I took a contemptuous look at this group of laity, and then looked down at my clothes. This bow, I finally understand why the eyes of this group of laity are so vivid. It turned out that the bra my daughter-in-law drew for me last night was still fresh in my mind ... so my head suddenly became empty, and there was only one voice left in my ear: horseshoe, horseshoe, Europe, Europe. ...