Urgently looking for jokes (explosion, be healthy, there will be a bounty within 30 minutes!)

My mother said my IQ is only 76. I don't know how high my IQ is. All I know is that I am a very lethal person, and many people have been hurt by me. Some of them have lost hope in life, and some have even committed suicide. So I have always suspected that I have potential superpowers, and for some reason, this superpower is especially effective for my teacher.

I still remember the first teacher who died because of me. I was in the first grade of elementary school at that time, and the teacher took Ala to the wild for a nature practice class. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willow branches branching, the teacher couldn't help but think of a question, so he asked: "Students, do you know how to identify the direction of the wind?" "I know!" A little girl in the class answered while picking up the wind from the ground. A leaf was thrown into the air. "Pick up a piece of something and throw it in the air. Watch it float in that direction. Then you will know." "Well, very good." The teacher praised, "Then which other students are willing to do it again?" Let me show you what kind of wind is blowing now? The wind is blowing up and down!”

............. I can’t remember what the teacher’s expression looked like at that time. I only remember that he struggled desperately for a few times and then died. Later, doctors at the hospital said that he died due to a sudden strong stimulation that caused his blood to go backwards and become a demon. In this way, I killed a people's teacher.

One day during the exam, the biology teacher brought a bird covered with cloth. Then he exposed the bird's legs and asked the students to guess what kind of bird it was. I really didn’t know, so I handed in a blank paper. The teacher was very angry when he saw it, and asked: "Why did you hand in the blank paper? What is your name?" When I heard this, I rolled up my trouser legs angrily, exposing my legs and said, "Now it's your turn to guess who I am. "Really?" The biology teacher immediately fell down~~~~~

The first-grade teacher taught Ala about poultry animals.

Teacher: "There is an animal with two legs. Every day When the sun comes out in the morning, it will wake you up, and it will wake you up until you wake up. What kind of animal is it?"

I replied: "Mom!" The teacher almost died from laughter!

My dad asked me how school was?

"My dear son," the father asked, "Is your female teacher satisfied with you?"

"Ah, yes, Dad, very satisfied."

"How do you know? Did she tell you herself?"

"Of course, Dad. She said to me the day before yesterday: 'If all the students are like you, I will leave the school right away!' "Explanation, I have learned it all." My dad's brain immediately changed!@#$#@!$$#@@

One day in math, the teacher asked 1 1=? , I said I don’t know. The teacher asked me to go back and ask. I asked my mother. She was cooking and told me to get out. I asked my dad. He watched the game again and shouted, "It's cool." I asked my sister, she was singing, singing BABY. I asked my brother, who was on the phone and said, "I'll wait for you outside."

The next day, the teacher asked 1 1=? I said, "Get out of here." The teacher slapped me in the face, and I screamed. The teacher called me a loser, and I called me despicable. As the old saying goes; get lost. I said; I'll wait for you outside. Ala's math teacher had high blood pressure on the spot and fainted...

Later, the school changed a teacher and asked Ala to compose a sentence. I completed the homework calmly and the teacher was very impressed with me. The sentence I wrote was:

Sadness----The big ditch in front of Ala’s house is very sad.

If----canned food is not as nutritious as fruit juice.

Naive--it's really hot today, a good day for swimming.

Ten points----My sister only got ten points in her math test, which is really embarrassing.

Calm down----When I do things, I always start with the easy ones.

Ginseng----The teacher said that everyone must try their best when participating in the team relay tomorrow.

Quilt----Xiaoyu's sanitary napkin was stolen.

Lunchbox----Xiao Ming regards defecation as the first thing he does when he gets up every morning.

The teacher touched my head and said sternly: I came home from school and there was no one around, so I was going to complete the homework assigned by the substitute teacher. I went to the toilet and started to paint the walls with feces. , I painted the entire bathroom ten times before I stopped when I was satisfied with my work. My family came back and scolded me. The next day, my mother went to the principal to sue the substitute teacher for misleading her children. Later, the substitute teacher was fired. Hey... I mentally said to myself: "I am very proactive in my appearance. Being ugly is not my original intention. God, please don't lose your temper. I will live bravely and bring out the beauty of the world. !! ! ! ! ”

I was chewing gum while putting my feet on the aisle.

At this time, the teacher said to me: "Please spit out what is in your mouth, and then put your feet in"

My brain: "@$#$# $#”

It was an intellectual competition. Alabban and another class still had no winner after the final competition. So the host announced the final decision: each class drew lots to send one representative. The two representatives then guess the coin. The person who guessed correctly asks a question to the person who guessed incorrectly. If the person who guessed incorrectly answers correctly, the person who guessed incorrectly wins. On the contrary, the class of the one who guesses correctly wins. The sky is moving, the earth is moving, I can't even hide from my errand. I was actually chosen as the representative and successfully guessed the wrong coin and entered the question and answer phase. The teacher and classmates suddenly became nervous, and everyone looked at me with eager eyes. Especially the head teacher, Mr. Li, looked heavy and said nothing. I also felt some pressure, but not because of this, but because of my opponent - Wang Xiaofo. Wang Xiaofo was the most powerful "famous teacher killer" in Ala School at that time, and he also had several murder cases under his hands. It is said that the previous principal met his end in its hands. But I still have some confidence, because after all, I am also a person who once shocked me. The questions began.

Wang Xiaofo put his hands in his trouser pockets and said slowly: "My mother boiled a few eggs and put them in my pocket today. Do you know how many there are?" "Coax!" There was an uproar around him. I don't know why everyone is making noise, but I know that this question arouses great interest in me. egg! I barely heard what question he asked. I only heard the word "egg" clearly. You must know that after several years of hard life in the countryside, there was almost nothing to eat. Two eggs would be a really delicious meal. I seemed to see the shiny

egg white and tender yellow yolk... "If I get the answer right, will you give me a piece to eat?" I have long forgotten about any quiz competitions or class honors. All I'm interested in are eggs, eggs! "If you get the answer right, I'll give you both eggs." "Coax!" There was another uproar. I saw a look of astonishment on the face of the other classmate, while my classmates cheered and hugged each other to celebrate the victory. Teacher Li also cast a delighted look at me. I don’t know what they were happy about, but everyone was looking towards me. I smiled, and I smiled at them sheepishly, and then replied: "Are they five?"

The smiles of the students froze in an instant, and gradually disappeared like an ebbing tide. No trace. But the other classmate suddenly started shouting and laughing. Things in this world are changing so fast. In the blink of an eye, everyone is crying and laughing, and everyone is crying and laughing. I don’t know what to do. I haven't had time to think carefully about what happened. The venue suddenly became chaotic. I saw one person lying on his back, blood spurting out from his mouth like a pillar, and then he slowly fell down.

"Teacher Li!"

"Teacher Li!"

It's the head teacher of Ala class! I also hurried over. The teacher's face was pale, his eyes were closed, and he was unconscious. "It was him who killed Teacher Li!"

"It was him!"

"It was him!"

Whoosh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Swish, swish, swish! ! !

A bunch of angry eyes shot at me like sharp arrows.

My eyes went blank, and a voice echoed in my ears: "Duolong! Close the door! Release the dogs! All idlers should retreat!"

Later it was said that Teacher Li was not dead. , it was just a serious illness. After he recovered and was discharged from the hospital, he saw through the world of mortals, became a monk in Mount Wutai, and stopped teaching.

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