Thai green jokes

1. I am a person of status. What is a man of status? People with ID cards are people with identity!

Although I am not a celebrity friend, I have never been to countries around us, such as Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, Singapore and Russia.

3, you are so ugly, you still come out for a walk and stay at home! Just watching you hit a tree!

Oh, dear, I really want my small bag. 320.。 . . After discount 15

I think you look young. This cosmetic is very effective. Who can tell when you look at a 60-year-old man?

Who among sixty people hasn't opened a flower?

Yes, the cactus blooms once every sixty years.

I went to the night market that day. When I saw a dress, I asked, how much is this dress?

80

Do you sell at 35?

Sell!

I said no, let's go!

7. Others say that I am poor-looking, but my mother is very rare. My mother said that when I was a child, she took me to the park to play. Many old people surrounded my mother and asked,' Sister, where did you buy this monkey? Now I have grown up.

8. Brother, I just looked at you and felt like the sea!

Sister, don't you care about me? Don't you love me?

Brother, don't get me wrong. I have been seasick since I was a child, and I feel sick when I look at the sea.

9. If you become famous, you should develop slowly. Look at this dress I'm wearing. Hey, you said that my red color is not good with big green. Don't look down on people. I bought all my clothes from a specialty store.

10, four or five big men chased me and I ran to a grave. They saw me lying motionless on a grave and asked me what was going on. I said, I'm home. Are you still chasing me? Scared them away! After he ran away, I saw an old man digging a tombstone with that hammer, so I asked, "What are you digging, uncle?" Listen to the uncle said: I don't know who wrote the name wrong, I'll come up and change it!

1 1, just a friend ~ it's okay ... I just like shopping. Well, I'm just browsing ... hey, I won't look back ... I'm just walking ... and dancing after that ~ ~ That's naughty ~ ~.

12,-I've had enough with you in my life. I must find a prince riding a white horse in my next life.

It is not necessarily a prince who rides a white horse. Tang Priest sometimes rides a white horse.

-Tang Priest is better than you! !

Yes, you can't eat meat if you can.

Actually, Valentine's Day is very short. One hand lets go, a lover tears ~ ~ One hand can't let go, and a bunch of lovers cry ~ ~ What is the most painful thing in life, do you know? I won't spend Valentine's Day with you! ; Do you know what is the most painful thing in life? All lovers are looking for you on Valentine's Day, howling. What is the most painful thing? "The gift is ready, the lover has it, but the wife has found it ... howling ~ ~ ~?

Valentine's day, in fact, can also be very short, one hand is pulled and one hand is loosened, and the lover is not hung up ~ ~

If you can't let go, your lover will become a wife, hang up ~ ~

Do you know what is the most painful thing about Valentine's Day? Valentine's day is not spent with lovers!

Do you know what is the most painful thing about Valentine's Day? All lovers are looking for you on Valentine's Day!

Do you know what is the most painful thing? On Valentine's Day, your lover is with someone else. ...

Valentine's day is actually very short ~ ~ ~

When the hand is pulled loose, the lover is gone. Howl ~ ~

If you can't let go, you will become a wife. Howl ~ ~

Do you know what is the most painful thing about Valentine's Day?

It means "spend time with your lover and don't even let your hand pull."

Do you know what is the most painful thing about Valentine's Day?

It means "the hand is finished, and the lover and others have passed."

Do you know what is the most painful thing about Valentine's Day?

Walking in the street, holding the hand of the little lover, I met my wife holding the hand of others.

In fact, the working day is very short. As soon as the computer was turned on and off, the day passed. Howl ~?

The computer is on and off, and another day has passed, howling ~?

As soon as the computer is turned off, it can't be opened, and the contract expires again, huh?

Do you know what is the most painful thing on the day of work? It means "off duty, the work is not finished yet!" "

Do you know what is the most painful thing on the day of work? I haven't finished my work yet. I'm finished.

"The most painful thing is that there is no work to do at work, and I will go to work soon."

Do you know what is the most painful thing on the day of work? I didn't go to work at work, I didn't go to work after work, and I called to tell you to live when I got home from work.

Today, I played CS in the Internet cafe. Not far away, there are two non-mainstream players playing hard. 5. Press the keyboard with a bang! I am very distressed!

So, I also started to press the keyboard! I pressed hard! Press hard! Press faster than them! Louder than them!

They couldn't help looking over, and I glanced at them contemptuously on purpose! They changed their faces and gave me a hard look! I'll stare back at you right away!

They went on playing with a livid face, but the noise exceeded mine!

Would I want to? So, I beat the keyboard with my palm! Clap hard! Clap hard!

Those two guys stopped hitting hard at first sight and started hitting the keyboard! Louder than me again!

How can I stop? Knock on the keyboard with your fist at once! Hit hard! Hit hard!

The two men looked at each other and began to hit the keyboard! The noise has surpassed me again! I won't give up! Tear off the keyboard! Just throw it on the ground! I stepped on it hard Step hard!

Everyone in the internet cafe gave me the warmest applause! Those two non-mainstream idiots are at a loss!

However, under my provocative eyes, they are also angry! They also ripped off the keyboard! Throw it on the ground and step on it! Then they looked at me defiantly!

At this time, the network management of the Internet cafe surrounded them! A webmaster looked at the keyboard trampled by them and slapped it in the face! Then the network management swarmed! Beat up two non-mainstream!

Finally, two non-mainstream people were lying on the ground, and one of them pointed at me weakly and asked, "Why didn't you ... hit him?"

A webmaster kicked him in the past: "People play CS and bring their own keyboards!"

Pig Bajie was making out with Chang 'e on the moon when suddenly a dark shadow passed by and Pig Bajie hurriedly carried a rake.

After chasing him out, he came back after a while and said, damn it, Yang Liwei. ......

One day, on the bus, a lady left her seat to buy a ticket. When I came back, I found that my seat was occupied by another woman. I was very unwilling and said loudly: I can't lay eggs, but it's very fast. When the woman sitting in the seat heard this, she quickly stood up and said with a smile: I'm sorry for delaying your laying!

A man kept a parrot. The parrot was so strong that all the other birds in it were killed by it.

Later, the master brought back an eagle and put it together. When the owner came to see it, the parrot's hair hung outside the cage.

The host said, "Not this time."

But on closer inspection, the eagle died, and the parrot said naked, "This grandson is really amazing. If you don't take off your arm, you can't beat Yating. "

A driver is driving a truck full of hens, teasing his parrot while driving. When a beautiful woman hitchhiked, the driver put the parrot and the hen together in the cargo box and invited the beautiful woman to sit in the cab. After driving for a while, the driver tentatively asked the beauty, "May I kiss you?" The beauty shook her head shyly and said, "No". After waiting for a while, the driver reluctantly asked, "Can you hug me?" The beauty still shook her head and said, "No."The driver said angrily, "If you can't, go down." After driving for a while, the driver felt that his behavior was very ungentlemanly, so he went back and invited the beautiful woman to get on the bus. But after a while, the driver asked, "May I kiss you?" Beauty still shook her head. "Can I have a hug?" Beauty still shook her head. "If you can't, go down." This was repeated three times, and finally I got to the chicken farm. The driver opened the suitcase and found that there were few hens in Miu Miu. Only the parrot mentioned a hen and asked, "Can a beautiful woman kiss me?" The hen shook her head desperately, and the parrot asked, "Can you hug me?" The hen still shook her head. The parrot said, "If you can't, go down." The hen was thrown out of the car. ......

The little white rabbit met a wolf while walking in the forest. He came up and put two big ear stickers on the little white rabbit and said, "I told you not to wear a hat." The little white rabbit left very grievance.

The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came up and gave the white rabbit two big mouths and said, "I told you to wear a hat."

Tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger.

After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I see. I will handle this matter, so trust the organization." On the same day, the tiger found his partner wolf. "It is wrong for you to do so. This is very difficult for me. " Then he wiped the dust off the table: "Do you think this will work?" You can say, Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat! She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one. So you can hit her. Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come and find me a woman. She found plump ones, and you said you liked slim ones. She found a slim one, and you said you liked the plump one. You can beat her. It is both reasonable and powerful. "The wolf nodded and clapped his hands, and the reverence for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above instructions were heard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I hate this in my heart.

The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It's the big bad wolf coming. The wolf said, "Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat." Tutu said, "So, do you want to be fat or thin?" The wolf listened, his heart sank and he was happy again. He said, fortunately, there is a plan B. He added, "Tutu, Mary, find me a woman." Tutu asked, "So, do you like plump or slim?" The wolf was silent for 2 seconds and raised his hand to give Tutu two big ear stickers. "Shit, I told you not to wear a hat."

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "

The prisoner was shot. The first shot didn't go off because of the poor quality of the bullet, and then the second shot was fired. . . The third shot. . . At this time, the prisoner cried and hugged the bailiff's thigh and said, eldest brother, you strangled me! It's fucking horrible. .....

A pupil confessed to his long-cherished teacher. The teacher said it was wrong, but he wouldn't listen. Finally, the teacher couldn't stand it anymore and said, I don't want children. The pupil said: I will be careful! "。

A mental hospital heard that the leader would come to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the dean called a meeting of the patients in the hospital at the meeting.

The dean said: "This afternoon, there are very important leaders coming to visit, and all the people will meet them at the door. Zaihuan

When greeting, all the patients stood on both sides of the hospital gate, standing neatly. As soon as I cough, everyone plays drums together.

Palm, the warmer the better; When I stamp my foot, I must stop completely. I can't make mistakes. If everyone is ready,

We can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person screws up, everyone has no buns to eat. Remember.

have you finished? "The patients in the audience shouted together:" Remember! "

This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the popular patient was already standing at the door.

At that time, with the cough of the hospital dean, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. Visiting leaders

Infected by the warm atmosphere and with a smile on his face, he applauded and walked into the hospital with everyone. See the leader has entered the doctor.

When the hospital director stamped his foot, all the applause stopped and it was neat. Only this leader is still playing drums with a smile.

The dean felt very satisfied when he walked forward. Suddenly, a disease as strong as Schwarzenegger emerged from the welcome crowd.

People, strode to the front of the leadership, picking up Yuan gave him a big slap in the face and shouted angrily-"Your ya don't want to eat steamed stuffed bun? ! ! ! "