Funny and humorous sentences

Funny and humorous sentences

Funny and humorous sentences, whether in daily life or in daily work, we often encounter various things because of And feel depressed. When we feel troubled and unhappy, we just read some humorous and funny sentences. I will share some funny and humorous sentences below. I hope you will like them. Funny and humorous sentences 1

1. Pretending is a symbol of vitality, and vanity is a sign of youth!

2. When I was a child, I compared my academic performance. When I grew up, I compared my salary and income. Now I even compare the number of steps when walking! Let me go, I just want to be a trash that lives in peace with the world, but when I actually became trash, I realized that I even had to sort the trash!

3. If I meet you, I will spend all my luck! Please stay away from me, I still want to save my luck to play mahjong!

4. If one day, I cannot get married, please bury me in If You Are the One!

5. Playing with people who can play is called playing. Playing with people who can’t play feels like working overtime!

6. I can stay up late with you, and I will also advise you to go to bed early, but the best situation is for us to sleep together!

7. If poverty limits your imagination, why can you still come up with so many ways to save money?

8. One person is happy, two people live, and three people live and die!

9. I was walking on the road on a rainy day, and a Mercedes-Benz passed by me, splashing mud all over me. Looking at the Mercedes-Benz going away, I secretly swore in my heart that when I got there, If you have enough money, you must buy a raincoat of your own!

10. When money stands up and speaks, all truth is silent!

11. In this ruthless age, if you want others to never forget you, the best way is to refuse to pay back the money you owe!

12. Those who say money is a sin are just trying to make money! They say beautiful women are a disaster and want them all! It’s said that it’s cold at high places, so we’re all climbing! They say that smoking and drinking are harmful to the body, but they don’t quit! They say heaven is the most beautiful, why don’t you go there?

Thirteen. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock!

14. The teacher asked: There is a kind of horse in the world, which is composed of black and white. What kind of horse is it? Xiao Ming: QR code! Teacher: Get out!

15. It is said that marriage is the tomb of love, but without marriage, love will die without a burial place!

16. If you want to buy a house in Beijing with a monthly salary of 10,000 yuan, you might as well set a small goal first, for example, live five hundred years first.

Seventeen. The reason why you live an unhappy life is that you can neither stand the current situation nor have the ability to change it. You can be as lazy as a pig, but you cannot be as lazy as a pig and feel at ease!

18. Please don’t call me a homebody, please call me a closed home; please don’t call me a homebody, please call me Madame Curie.

19. God is fair. If he gives you an ugly appearance, he will definitely give you a low IQ to prevent you from appearing uncoordinated!

20. People say I have a bad temper. It’s a joke. I’m good-looking and have a good temper, so that’s fine!

21. When you get married in the future, and the person you marry is not me, I will move in next door to your house and be a quiet Laowang! Funny and humorous sentences 2

1. Life is not just about the present, there are also invitations from your ex.

2. Everyone is like this: I don’t know where my love comes from, and it goes deeper and deeper; but I am different. I am like: I don’t know where my money is going, and I am completely penniless.

3. I once jumped over a deer, but now I may have been killed.

4. At the age when girls are like flowers, you have grown into a succulent.

5. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I couldn’t even drink the northwest wind.

6. The purpose of installing mirrors in school stairs is to tell us: ugly people should study more.

7. I bought a pot of mimosa today. I am not shy about moving it when I go back. I will ask the boss when I go back. The boss said: "Maybe you bought this pot shamelessly."

8. Men all like voluptuous girls. Those who like bones are dogs.

9. People who have always been dissatisfied with their hairstyle have one thing in common: they refuse to admit that it is a problem with their face.

10. I never envy those who drive luxury cars, because my car is more expensive than theirs, and that was the shopping cart my wife gave me!

11. Do you think this is the low point of your life? In fact, you still have a lot of room for decline.

12. Asking someone to pay back money is like having a secret love. You will always feel embarrassed to say it. When you work up the courage to say it, it becomes like a confession, and maybe you don't even have to be friends.

13. I also want to look down on myself, but my weight doesn’t allow it.

14. The Internet is a very practical invention: in the past, you needed to read a lot of books to find enough information to do your homework; now you only need to simply go online and forget about doing your homework. All clean.

15. People change. For example, I used to only want to get rich, but now it’s different. Now I just want to get rid of poverty!

16. Before Yu Gong died, he called his son to his bedside. Foolish Old Man: Move mountains! Son: Shiny? Foolish Old Man.

Seventeen. My roommate suddenly picked up the water on my table and poured it on my face. Then he was stunned for a few seconds and said, "Did I just not open my mouth?"

18. My ex-boyfriend was getting married. He called me and asked me if I would go. I replied decisively with three words: I will go next time.

Nineteen. When you feel lonely and bored, turn on the computer and play a ghost movie. After a while, you will feel that there are people in the toilet and kitchen and rooms. There are people too.

Twenty. In order to become a rich second generation, I lie in bed every day and wait for my father to become rich.

Twenty-one, I see sleeping pills of different flavors walking around on the podium every day.

22. Lu Xun said that as long as you spend money regularly, your worries will be reduced by 80%. But where the money comes from, Lu Xun did not say, and we dare not ask.

23. My father asked me what I want to pursue in life. I answered money and beautiful women, and my father slapped me in the face fiercely. I answered career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively. Chinese characters are broad and profound.

24. When you have a phone bill, it is called a mobile phone. When there is no phone bill, your mobile phone is nothing more than an MP3 player, no matter how good it is.