The two people’s classic funny dialogue lines

1. At that time, the sky was still blue, the water was green, chickens and ducks were free of bird flu, and pork was safe to eat.

At that time, you had to wear clothes when taking photos, and you had to pay off debts. Your mother-in-law did not marry your daughter for the sake of your house, and the father of the child... was also clear

2. Yifei: I Now I really want to push my size 37 shoes onto your size 42 face! Plant people can talk better than you. Believe it or not, I will plant you in a flower pot right now! !

3. Yifei: Zhanbo and I used to be conjoined twins. Before we were two years old, our brains were still the same.

Xiaoxian: Yes, and then the doctor cut the knife quickly , gave all the brains to Zhanbo

4. Yifei: Did your mother throw away the person when she gave birth to you and raise the placenta?

5. Zi Qiao: That was when I was in high school. One day I dreamed that I was taking an exam. Then I suddenly woke up. Something even more terrifying happened. It turned out that I was actually taking an exam. !

6. Wanyu: Have you passed the GRE?

Passerby: I... don’t have an aunt

Wanyu: What about TOEFL?

Passer-by: Whose blessing is this?

7. Zhanbo: Sister, if someone hurts you deeply, how long will it take you to forgive him?

Yifei: Forgive him? Forgiving him is a matter for God, and my task is to send him to see God!

8. Meijia: My aunt came to see me in advance. My waist is very sore and my stomach feels uncomfortable.

Guangu: Meijia, your aunt is so kind to you. No, she will sleep in my room today, and I will sleep on the sofa

Wanyu: Guangu, the aunt you are talking about is not the same thing as what she is talking about

Guangu: Oh, Meijia Are there many aunts? Your grandma is really good at giving birth. I only have one, but I have three aunts!

9. Wanyu: Ugly, but very ugly, just very ugly!

10. Yifei: It doesn’t matter, failure is success

Zhanbo: I have had many mothers, but none of them are pregnant

11 , Yifei: It’s okay to write poetry, but it’s nonsense, smelly and long. As a result, when the girl saw it, the female hormones that were finally stimulated instantly... turned into cholesterol

12. Guan Gu: It’s so touching... Xiao Longnu is so beautiful... But Yang Guo doesn’t know how to cherish her. He only has his aunt in his heart!

Zhan Bo: That’s right, Xiao Longnu... is his aunt

Guan Gu (surprised): Ah! It's so sinful. Doesn't his uncle have any objection to Yang Guo doing this?

Zhanbo: Well... To be precise, there is no such person as uncle

Guangu: Oh my God! Then Yang Guo... became his own uncle! ! Xiao Longnu... became her own niece-in-law! !

13. Zeng Xiaoxian: Hello everyone, I am your new Xiaoxian, friend Zeng...

14. Meijia: Look at your big face, every time I stand next to you There is no signal on my mobile phone, and I can’t even see the sun when I walk on the road!

Zi Qiao: Was your head squeezed by the door? You dinosaur that regresses three times a day!

15. Yifei: If you use your standards, Wanyu is basically on the same level as the Monkey King

Zhanbo: What about me?

Yifei: You and that... What is the name of the old man who locked Monkey Sun in the alchemy furnace?

Zhanbo: Taishang Laojun! !

Yifei: Yes, yes, you are basically on the same level as the soot in Taishang Laojun’s alchemy furnace!

16. Zi Qiao: Don’t compare yourself to me, I’m too lazy to compare with you!

17. Zi Qiao: Ten thousand and one million are the same, because I don’t have either!

18. Xiaobo: I have been divorced for three years, and my son is already half a year old

19. Zi Qiao: I also want to find someone who can print my face on currency. place

Meijia: It’s not difficult, can’t you just find a place to print money?

20. Zhanbo: Sister, have you ever raised a dog?

Yifei: No, but

...I raised you. I have raised many animals before, including birds, rabbits, fish, squirrels, and money trees. Within three days... they were all dead. Zhanbo, you are so lucky!

21. Wanyu: Dog biscuits are rich in conditioner and anti-dandruff formula. After eating them, your hair will be gone and your dandruff will be better!

22. Guan Gu (singing): Giant dragon, you are two years short, forever and ever...

Guan Gu (singing): I am not a locust , I am not a centipede, I only want my mean brother, perfect love...

23. The one who rides the white horse may not be a prince, it may also be a Tang monk...

The one who can burn incense may not be It's a monk, or it could be a panda...

The one with tattoos is not necessarily a bad guy, it could be Yue Fei~

The one who can fly is not necessarily a big bird, it could also be Li Ning< /p>

24. Passer-by: I’ll make a long story short, it’s a long story

Passer-by: I fell in love with my colleague Azhi

Passer-by: But I Didn't tell him

Passerby: I told my other colleague Ahao

Passerby: Ahao promised me not to tell others

Passerby: But my colleague A De told me

Passerby: Ah Hao secretly told another colleague, A Lin

Passerby: A Lin was very familiar with A Zhi’s former girlfriend, A Lan

Passerby: I'm afraid A Lin will tell Alan

Passerby: Then Alan will go back and tell Azhi

Passerby: This will make me very embarrassed

Passerby : Fortunately, Alan is in love with Ade now

Passerby: So I went to find Ade to help me solve this problem

Passerby: Ade told me that Alan and him had broken up.

Passerby: He is now on good terms with A-Lin and asked me to find A-Lin

Passer-by: But A-Lin told me that Ah Hao actually didn’t say anything to him

p>

Passerby: Who should I believe now that I’m fainted?

Zeng Xiaoxian: Aou

Passerby: I’m talking about Azhi, not Aou, Aou Ou is my colleague from another department

Passerby: Aou is Alin’s younger brother

Passerby: But I can’t tell him that the person I like is your brother’s girlfriend Ex-boyfriend

Passerby: This relationship will be even more chaotic

Zeng Xiaoxian: Ah sneeze

Passerby: Ah T?

Passerby: How do you know there is a colleague named Ah T in our company?

Passerby: He has a grudge against A-Lin, maybe because of his secret crush on Alan

Passer-by: But Ah T and Ah Hao have a good relationship

25. Gu: Honey, what shall we eat today?

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guangu: Let’s have hot pot, then?

Xiaoxue: No, you will get acne on your face if you eat hot pot.

Guangu: How about eating Sichuan food?

Xiaoxue: I just ate Sichuan food yesterday. Are you going to eat it again today?

Guangu: Then let’s eat seafood?

Xiaoxue: The seafood is not good, it will cause diarrhea.

Guangu: So what do you want to eat?

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guangu: e!~~~Then let’s not eat for now, let’s do something else.

Xiaoxue: All right.

Sekiya: Let’s watch a movie then? I haven’t watched a movie in a long time.

Xiaoxue: What’s so good about the movie? It’s just a waste of time.

Sekiya: What about bowling? Movement movement.

Xiaoxue: What kind of exercise is there on a hot day? Aren’t you tired?

Guangu: o!~~~~Then let’s have a few more cups of coffee.

Xiaoxue: ei~~~Drinking coffee affects sleep.

Guangu: So what do you want?

Xiaoxue: All right.

Sekiya: Then let’s just go home.

Xiaoxue: (laughs, then takes the bag) Look at you.

Guangu: Let’s take the bus and I’ll see you off.

Xiaoxue: The bus is dirty and crowded, so let’s forget it.

Guangu: How about taking a taxi?

Xiaoxue: It’s not cost-effective to take such a short distance.

Guangu: Well, let’s take a walk.

Xiaoxue: Why don’t you go for a walk on an empty stomach?

Sekiya: So what do you want?

Xiaoxue: It’s up to you.

Guangu: Let’s eat first.

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guangu: What to eat?

Xiaoxue: All right.

Guangu: ~?! #?#

26. Bus driver (to Zhan Bo): You pervert, you either swipe your card, put in coins, or get out, no matter what!

Bus driver (to bodyguard): Hey, come back! Either swipe your card, put in coins, or get out, whatever you want! (The bodyguard gets off the bus) You can’t even sit on the bus, and you’re pretending to be The Matrix, huh!

27. Xiaoxian: Xiaoxian has such a roommate. He and a girl live in two suites in the same apartment. Unfortunately, one always walks to the left, and the other always...sits Elevator

28. Meijia: Why don’t you learn from Wu Sangui? To be a man, you must know how to endure humiliation and bear the burden

Zi Qiao: Then it depends on who is right, she is Chen Yuanyuan~~~

Meijia: What’s so big about that? My surname is Chen too

Ziqiao: Chen Yuanyuan, you (aiming at the chest), Chen Bianbian~~

29. Zhan Bo: People use eight words to describe her: as quiet as a virgin, as active as a mad rabbit

30. Zi Qiao: Your eyes are clear and moving, your hands are gentle and delicate, and your heart is Crystal clear;

Meijia: Your arms are powerful, your chest is broad and majestic, your skin is invulnerable...

31. Zhanbo: First Five "Rape Chicken Popsicles"!

Wanyu (to the waiter): Then we want five portions of "Rape Chicken Popsicles"

Yifei: Two prodigies, they are "Violent Chicken Popsicles"

Zhanbo: Oh, really, the name has been changed?

32. Sekiya: Isn’t “The Promise” a romance film?

Zi Qiao: Ha! You won’t understand the movie once you see it! ..."The Promise" is a horror movie!

33. Lisa: It’s you! Zeng Xiaoxian!

Zeng Xiaoxian: Do you know me?

Lisa: My classmate’s cousin’s neighbor is related to your brother-in-law’s cousin!

Lisa: (pointing to Zeng Xiaoxian’s face) It’s not a software problem, you should change the monitor!

34. Yifei: Tell everyone what you are unhappy about to make everyone happy

35. Passers-by: Eating sesame seed cakes and eating beer caps, eating wontons and eating mothballs. I swatted a fly on a nail and went to Qingsong Temple to burn incense. My phone fell into the merit box and I couldn’t get it out.

36. Sister Shan: Let me introduce you to a professional breast enhancement agency. Many Korean stars are Made there. The golden clothes are washed, the river is beautiful, and the car is too boring. They are all there

37. Sister Shan: There are only two kinds of people in my eyes, one is red, and the other is red. You will never be popular, where are you in the pile?

Zi Qiao: I...

Sister Shan: You are nothing, because you have never been in my eyes.

38. Sister Shan: There is not enough money, the actors have not been decided, and the script is not yet available

39. Zi Qiao: Huh? Why does this cup have no mouth?

Meijia: You held it upside down

Ziqiao (turning the cup over): Not only does it have no mouth, it doesn’t even have a bottom

40. Yifei: You Shameless, you are despicable, you are unreliable!

Zi Qiao: Then you are not shameless, not despicable, and very reliable?

Yifei: How shameless, despicable and unreliable I am! ?

Zi Qiao: You are not shameless, despicable, and reliable! ?

Yifei: No matter how shameless, despicable, or unreliable I am, I will never be more shameless, despicable, or unreliable than you! !

41. Zi Qiao: Why do I feel that if you go to this place, "thousands of birds will fly away, and thousands of people will disappear"

42. Zi Qiao: I allow you Come into my world, but you are never allowed to walk around in my world!

43. Yifei: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so what's in the eyes of Xishi?"

Xiaoxian: "Eye pee.

”

44. Guan Gu: I used to think that you Chinese people are very humble, but now I realize that you are not like this. Every day on the road, I see you writing everywhere that China is very good, the Chinese people are very good, and Chinese agriculture is very good. Yes, China’s industry and commerce are very good, and Guangdong’s development is very good. I know you are very good in many aspects now, but there is no need to write about them everywhere!

The Rules of Love Apartment Landlords

1. A pair of QQ can't beat a 745 because QQ only costs 30,000 to 40,000 yuan, and a BMW 745 is very expensive

2. A bomb can't beat a 119 because the fire brigade can put out fires...

3. The king can’t call 911 many times because the FBI in the United States is very powerful.

4. A straight flush cannot beat 4-color cards. Because a riot of colors is better than a single star.

5. Congratulations on getting 12581. China Mobile will give you one free draw

6. Congratulations to girls if they get 3 or 8. They stopped playing cards once due to holiday shopping

10. Get 5.1 10.1 Stop playing cards because of national statutory holidays

1. You must go online for me tonight, otherwise, I will write your name on the monument

2. Since ancient times, no one has ever died, either early or late.

3. You are more Donnie Yen than Jet Li!

4. How can you say that he is crazy? ? The premise is that you must have a brain.

5. The three cobblers are as bad as Zhuge Liang.

6. I am Brother Zeng, I told you, believe me. Believe me...

7. Opportunities came to me like raindrops, but I avoided them one by one.

8. I am a good man and I am Zeng Xiaoxian~

9. A strong life requires no explanation!

10. Question: What are the four most common sentences spoken by Monk Sha in Journey to the West?

Answer: 1. Senior brother, the master was captured by the monster

2. Senior brother, the second senior brother was captured by the monster

3. Senior brother, the master and the second senior brother were captured. Captured by a monster

4. The second brother, the master was captured by a monster

Funny lines from Love Apartment 2 (2)

11. Life. It's like a drama, it's normal to fall in love with one person and get married and have children with another person.

12. If the left eye jumps, the peach blossom will bloom. If the right eye jumps, the chrysanthemum will bloom.

13. .I will definitely be chopped into potato chips.

14. Let’s face it, life is often much richer than those idol dramas.

15. Help me. Cut the carrots into cubes!

16. You have an ID card according to your identity.

17. How can they have time to create humans if you talk to them until midnight every day? What?

18. Bet with me, not based on what you want, but based on what I have...

19. Spit is for counting money, not for reasoning. .

20. What is the difference between this and reincarnation directly? !

Funny lines from Love Apartment 2 (3)

21. You can escape the monk, but you cannot escape the abbot.

22. Don’t be obsessed with me, he is not just a legend.

23. What she wants to do is not to cook, but to be a wife.

24. I can go to the hall, I can go to the kitchen, I can kill the wooden horse, I can climb the wall, I can drive a car, I can afford a bungalow, I can fight with the mistress, I can defeat the gangster...

25. The difference between him and pigs is that pigs cannot turn into humans, but he turns into pigs every now and then.

26. I am not a celebrity, I am just a celebrity!

27. What is your zodiac sign? I am made of meat.

28. Play a thrilling game of Ludo, known as the king of party games.

29. If you don’t make decisions for the people when you are an official, it is better to go home and sell sweet potatoes!

30. There are caterpillars in the vegetables and wires in the vermicelli.

Love Apartment 2 Hilarious Lines (4)

31. Zeng Xiaoxian, you are a man, what should excite you is your devilish figure rather than your devilish stepmother!

32. Xiaoxian: No, "The Devil's Stepmother" only has 24 episodes.

Sekiya: But you have also watched 40 episodes of "Where is My Mother", 80 episodes of "Don't Cry After Divorce", and 160 episodes of "Being a Wife and a Mother-in-law" . Congratulations, you have experienced a woman's... life!

33. If we agree, I have the final say. If there is a disagreement, she has the final say.

34. Question: A turtle got out of its shell, took it apart and rebuilt it, then got in and lived in it, and got some health care products.

Answer: Calcium within calcium

Another question: The turtle got out of his shell, took apart his shell and covered it with a new one, then got in and lived in it, and got some health care products.

Another answer: New cover in the middle cover

Ask again: The turtle once again got out of its shell, dismantled it and built a new one, then got in and lived, and got a health care Taste.

Answer again: Juneng Calcium

35. Freeze within three feet and cannot be frozen without a microwave oven!

36. Life is about being born and living, and the rest is just clouds. Paying a second mortgage means you have a house loan and a car loan.

37. Close the door and let Xiaoxian go.

38. Hu Yifei: Are you really relatives?

Tang Youyou: Really, I am the thirteenth sister of TMD.

Zi Qiao: She is really my mother’s thirteenth sister, although I don’t want to admit it.

Tang Youyou: But I will always be your aunt, be good~

Xiao Xian: Your mother is really evil.

Yifei: What a fucking evil thing!

Guangu: Who is TMD?

39. I prefer pigs to people. Pigs are always pigs, and sometimes people are not people.

40. A computer without a network is like a bird without wings or a Wukong without a golden cudgel.

Love Apartment 2’s hilarious lines (5)

41. Pure man? Isn’t there only one pure man in China?

42. When you fall down and only have one bar of health left, call Brother Xin Zeng three times and you will be resurrected on the spot.

43. If a tiger doesn’t send a cat, do you think I’m critically ill?

44. Listen to other people’s stories and shed your own tears.

45. People will play many roles in their lives. If you are unhappy, you can throw away the script. But remember, there is a script that really belongs to you, so don’t lose it.

46. Yifei: Hey! Are there any newbies from our family at the Spring Festival Gala?

Yu Mo: Is your newbie?

Yifei: Bai Yansong.

47. Xiaoxian: Just be careful, I’ll rest assured. You're greedy, I'm worried. You are thoughtful and I am happy. I'm disgusted by your efforts. You are disappointed and I am sad. A blessing fills my heart, your moon is in my heart, and the New Year blessings are sincere.

48. Yifei: After all, he is a man, and he sounds like a little Shenyang.

49. Yifei: Nowadays, those who act are singing, those who can’t sing are writing books, those who can’t write books are acting, and those who can’t act are singing again. The entertainment industry is a circle!

50. Xian: All the bachelors and masters are destroyed. The male doctor can only protect himself. To defeat the female doctor, humph, the only way is to rely on the saints.

Funny lines from Love Apartment 2 (6)

51. Linfeng: Hello! How many is this?

Yu Mo: Eight! Just missing a hint.

52. Youyou: How do you say that - a real man can stretch or shrink.

53.Yuyou: Do you know what the greatest pain in life is? It's a secret sitting next to you, but you don't know.

Yuyou: Do you know what is the greatest pain in life? It's that you already know the secret, but you can't tell it.

54. Yu Mo: You should install a flush toilet in your head to flush away all the disgusting things.

Yifei: Then his brain will be completely washed away.

55. Xiaoxian: Haven’t you always put the connotation of a man first?

Yifei: That’s for those of you who don’t seem to have much success.

56. Xiaoxian: Question! Tell me, when Liu Guan and Zhang Taoyuan became sworn brothers, who did they pay tribute to?

Yifei: Is the emperor rich in earth? Emperors Yan and Huang?

Yuyou: The offering... is of course peaches!

Guan Gu: It should be Mr. Guan.

57. Dean: Why do I feel that everyone today looks familiar?

Yifei: This... is probably because all caring people have kind faces!

58. Yu Mo: There is no such thing as UPUP breast enlargement exercises, I made them all up. If you really need it, silicone pad is the way to go.

59. Xiaoxian: Chewing gum... Internet rumors say that if you eat 5 pieces together, you can create a feeling of fullness through the chewing action, and the most important thing is that you will not gain weight. It is most suitable for people who are lovelorn. !

60. Xiaoxian: Yumo, let me remind you: if the key is broken inside, you may give up the right to use the house and the car at the same time.

Love Apartment 2 Hilarious Lines (7)

61. Zi Qiao: I’m afraid of you. Let me tell you, my major in college is - lore studies.

62.Yuyou: Correct! ABCDEFG, there are a total of 26 English letters. How many letters will be left after ET leaves?

Yifei: 24.

Yuyou: I’ll give you another chance.

Yifei: Wait, I understand, 21. Because ET is an alien, he drove away a UFO!

63. Yoyo: The answer is correct. There is something magical about Guan Gu that is longer than all the boys here. What is it?

Yifei: Give me some tips!

Yuyou: It’s long anyway, definitely longer than Teacher Zeng and Zi Qiao, and Zhang Wei’s is the shortest.

Yifei: I...I don’t know what to say!

Yuyou: Sister Yifei, it’s a name, a name.

64. Zhang Wei: A quasi-lawyer is also a lawyer, isn’t a rotten egg an egg?

65. Zi Qiao: There is no conflict between "helping others" and "being happy".

66. Yoyo:

Rule 1 of Tang syndrome performance: Don’t give up the right to speak to your opponent. You have to get more lines for yourself, the scenes are stolen.

Tang Syndrome Acting Rule 2: Never let the audience guess the development of the plot.

Tang’s Acting Rule 3: Create a rich background for the story, preferably involving the grievances between two generations.

Tang’s Acting Rule 40: The audience always expects more entangled character relationships and more intense plots.

67. Yu Mo: Then may I ask, what do you do?

Zi Qiao: I am... I am a "human builder".

68. Zi Qiao: As the saying goes, money can make the mill push the devil.

69. Sekiya: I know you know that others don’t know that you know, but I’ve seen your performance before, so you should know that I know that you know.

70. Zhang Wei: My advantage is: I am very handsome; but my disadvantage is: I am not obviously handsome.