Humorous jokes about chasing girls?

Because humor is a bridge for you to socialize and communicate. I collected some for you. Let's have a look.

Careful selection

1 you little goblin

Because humor is a bridge for you to socialize and communicate. I collected some for you. Let's have a look.

Careful selection

1 you little goblin, you poisoned me with your love poison and refused to give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!

I'll tell you a secret. Please look at the back first, then at the left and then at the right. Ok, please don't look around with your mobile phone!

3 new three obedience and four virtues: the wife should follow when she goes out, obey her orders and blindly follow her mistakes; The wife has to wait for makeup, remember her birthday, be willing to spend money, and endure beatings.

I am not perfect, but I am real. In other words, I am not beautiful, but I am cool; I am not rich, but I am happy; I am not successful, but I am confident; I am not sentimental, but I know how to cherish.

It's been a long time since I received your message, and I feel very distressed. I thought I cut my pulse with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, jumped off a building with a parachute and hung it on noodles, but they all died. Invite me to dinner, support me to death.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Jonina. She fell in love with a girl named Shade. They look at the stars together. When the meteor crossed the sky, they named it Jonina Shading Star.

I can't eat in the morning because I miss you, I can't eat at noon because I miss you more, I can't eat at night because I miss you crazily, and I can't sleep at night because I'm hungry.

There is a big wooden sign hanging behind a truck, which reads: "This truck collided with other vehicles, and as a result, it was only slightly injured once. Please be careful! "

This is your first swimming lesson. An hour later, you said to the coach, "I think, is that enough for today?" "Why?" "I really can't drink any more."

10 emergency reminder: there may be tornado weather recently, so be sure to take two dumbbells when you go out to avoid being swept to the west by strong wind. Those who are underweight must double.

1 1 Pigs can't talk, but only hum with their noses. Just like some girls, they always say: Hum!

12 I heard that your mobile phone has no SMS function, so I sent this SMS test. If you receive it and confirm that it has SMS function and it is not my SMS, please reply to me: I have it, it is yours!

13 roared past a jet fighter in the sky, and the bird was surprised to see it. Bird: Mom, why does that bird fly so fast? Mother Bird: Try setting a fire on * * *!

14 It's really tiring to marry a wife. I wash my feet, rub my legs, hit my back, and then go to bed with me, as if I hated the old society and my hands were full of bitter tears!

15 if you miss your feelings, you will think: there is no salt in cooking; Apples should not be too sweet; Smoke less; Forgot to bring money when shopping. I will miss you when I have time, and I will miss you when I have no time. If I really can't spare the time, I will-do nothing but miss you!

Classic

1 A buddy chased a girl and prepared to send her home after the date. The girl said humorously, "It doesn't matter, it's okay, I'm safe." The buddy wanted to see her off, but casually said, "It's too dark for gangsters to see your face clearly." The girl said, "I'll just hold my phone in front of my face" and left. He deserves to be single all his life.

An ugly girl has a crush on a boy. One day, the boy said to the woman, I can't sleep without looking at your picture every night. The ugly girl was overjoyed. The boy went on to say, because I was scared to death at first sight.

Robber: Tell me the password to the safe! Don't say kill you! Salesgirl: I won't tell you if you kill me! You ruined me, and I won't tell! The robber looked her up and down and said, you must be beautiful!

A classmate, instead of buying toilet paper, always takes mine. I saw it once: Why do you always take mine? ! He replied: What a stingy man! Isn't it just a little toilet paper I'll give it back to you when I'm finished!

Xiao Ming sent his girlfriend home and asked at the door, can I kiss you? My girlfriend, who has only known me for a week, replied: shameless! Xiao Ming said: shameless? Then I'll kiss!

6 "The power went out suddenly when I was watching a movie yesterday. People waited in the dark for more than ten minutes. " "Is there no panic in the cinema?" "I panicked-then the phone came in."

A beautiful woman seduced the bartender in a bar, and the beautiful woman put her finger on the bartender's lips to let him suck. Finished, beauty: Please tell your manager that the toilet paper in the ladies' room is used up.

Two people take a double-decker bus and one goes upstairs. After a while, he hurried down: never sit on it, there is no driver there!

A teenager came to buy condoms. The boss was surprised. He said, I want to give a gift to my girlfriend. The boss said: Do you want to wrap it up? He said, no, it was originally used to wrap gifts.

10 The young man is wearing a mini skirt and stroking his girlfriend's thigh: Dear, I love you! Girlfriend is infatuated with being caressed: Come again, higher! The young man raised his voice: Dear, I love you!

A couple are watching the dance in the ballroom. The husband said with emotion: this world is really strange. Every ugly fool has a beautiful wife. The wife smiled and said, honey, you really know how to kiss up.

12 the death penalty officer walked into the cell and announced the order to the prisoner with a raincoat. The prisoner said in surprise: You have to go to the execution ground in such a heavy rain! Officer: What do you have to complain about? I have to come back in the rain!

13 Lao Wang sat in the restaurant for a long time and saw other guests eating with relish. But he still didn't have a waiter to greet him, so he got up and asked the boss, Excuse me, am I sitting in the audience?

works of excellence

1 M: "May I ask the way?" Woman: "Where to?" Man: "To your heart."

Man: Look at the label of that woman's shirt. Woman: "What are you doing?" Man: "I don't know if you are made in heaven."

Man: "Miss, can you lend me five dollars?" Woman: "What are you going to do?" Man: "I'm going to call my mother and tell her that I saw a peerless beauty today."

4 man: "It's raining really hard today." Woman: "Yes!" Man: "That's God drooling over you."

Man: "Trust me, I will make you the second happiest person in the world." Woman: "Why not be the first?" Man: "I am the happiest person with you."

It is said that a man has to climb three mountains to find a wife. For your sake, can you let me climb two less so that I can catch up with you earlier and wait for your answer? If you agree, please reply: I agree, if not, please reply. I just agree. If you don't reply, I'll take it as your unconditional agreement.

M: May I ask you a question? Which side do you like to sleep on? Woman: Yes, why? M: Then I'll sleep on the left side from today and keep the right side for you. Woman: You. ...........

I heard that your mobile phone doesn't have short message function, so I sent this short message to try. If you receive it and confirm that it has SMS function and it is not my SMS, please reply to me: I have it, it is yours!

When I first met you, I said to myself: You are the goal of my life. I want to pursue you and hug you. I want to announce: I love you ... RMB.

10 Life becomes uncomfortable without you. I hate that hateful third party for taking you away. Do you have a new relationship with him? I want you to give it back.-wallet.

1 1 shy, I have been afraid to say anything to you. Today, I finally got up the courage: When will you invite me to dinner?

12 I met you by chance, followed you twice, dated you three times, missed you seven times and eight times, and 90% should like you. I'm sure I love you. It takes a hundred years to meet true love, and a thousand years to fulfill you. Are you willing to do anything?