What kind of topic can give the most jokes?

1. The tortoise is hurt, so let the snail buy medicine. Two hours later, the snail didn't come back. The tortoise scolded, "I won't fucking come back, I'm going to die!" " At this time, a voice came from outside the door: "Shit, I won't go again!" " If your ears itch, it means I miss you. If your eyes itch, it means I want to see you. If your mouth itches, it means I want to kiss you. Don't be afraid if you are itchy all over. It's time for a bath! ! ! Hahaha! ! ! 3. One day, the underworld boss asked you: 1 plus 1 what is it? You wondered, hesitated for a long time and said: equal to 2. The boss took out his gun and killed you with a bang. The boss blew a cigarette at the gun and said, you know too much. A bitch jumped on you, bit off a piece of meat from your foot and swallowed it quickly. You put out your foot and were about to kick it. The dog said with tears, "Go ahead, I have your flesh and blood in my belly anyway!" " 5. A puppy climbed onto the dining table and rubbed against a roast chicken. The shopkeeper was furious and said, I'll do whatever you dare to do to that roast chicken. The dog licked the chicken's ass. The master fainted. The puppy said happily, look who's good! 6. The cat is forced by life to sit in the hair salon run by the fox. One day, the mouse came to the hair salon to call the roll to keep the cat overnight. The cat swore that the mouse was furious: I chased him to death at the beginning, and now he is still a prude! 7. In the senior one exam, the teacher handed out papers, and the girl at the back took one more, shouting "Teacher, I have it, I have it". As a result, the boy sitting next to me said, "It's mine, it's mine", and the whole class laughed wildly. 8. We have known each other for so long that we both know your place in my heart. Life is like a dream, and the years pass. You know, in the vast sea of people, others are just an onion to me, but you are different, you are two! 9. Stop learning; It's too difficult! Make tofu! Tofu is the safest; The hard thing to do is dried tofu! Thin is tofu brain! Thin is tofu skin! No, soybean milk! If it can't be sold, it can also be used as stinky tofu! 10. I love you. What is the sum of "one business world" and "ten"? ! ! ! The result is (520+1314) *10 =18340, that is, ". Fan you to death! " Xixi hahaha ... 1 1. Congratulations! Has been admitted to the shameless class of toad department of United nations frog university! Please take bus No.514 with a mental illness certificate and get off at Benlu Benjie. Please stand at the school gate and giggle when you sign up! 12. If someone bullies you, tell your sister that I have made his limbs move, and his seven joints are connected. His face is colored, his nose is straight, his head is shaking, and his front teeth are turned over ... 13. I want to remind you that the university is going to have an exam! Meters Bang Wei Bang Wei: There are no ordinary courses! Xtep: Failure! Death Nike: hang up and hang up! Summer horse: what to test, what to hang! Melatonin: I won't fail this holiday, but I will fail in professional courses. Huiren Shenbao: He will fail me! Li Ning: Failure, anything is possible! Want Want: You hang up, I hang up, everyone hangs up! Hang up! Hao Di: If everyone dies, they really die! White plus black: hanging subjects during the day, not sleepy; Hang a subject at night and sleep soundly. Calcium in calcium: Now, the gold content is very high. Hanging a subject is better than the last five subjects, which is convenient! Look at me, I failed five subjects in one breath. It's effortless, the waist is not sore, the legs are not painful, and the strength is big enough to jump off a building! 14. It is said that it is very clever to make a wish when there is a meteor in the sky. I made a wish on a meteor that day, hoping you would be smarter. Shit! Guess what? The meteor flew back the same way! 15. During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, you were the commander in chief, wearing a pot cover, carrying a sack, carrying a plastic bag around your waist, holding a pot cover in your hand and carrying two Chinese cabbages on your feet ... Shouting, "Stop! Shit! Rotten! ! ! "