"happy event" joke

Greet sb.

Every morning when I run, the old man fishing by the river is afraid that I will run too fast to scare away his fish, so he says hello from a distance: What are you doing so early? I was afraid he couldn't hear me, so I went up to him and said loudly, go and make soy sauce!

The reporter interviewed Zhang.

The reporter interviewed Zhang: "It is said that your donkey can fly into the ground. How do you raise it? "

Zhang: "My donkey is easy to raise. I don't eat or drink! "

The reporter sighed: "God Donkey, God Donkey, can you borrow seeds for the country?"

Zhang: "Sorry, this guy stole the" Sunflower Collection "of the Lao family, and now there are no seeds!"

Reporter: "What a pity!"

A black car drove into Kaifeng.

One dark night, Daming was working the night shift alone at the toll station of the expressway, and suddenly there was a gust of evil wind!

With the low engine roar, I saw a black car slowly stop at the toll gate. Daming looked up and looked intently! There is no one in the driver's seat! !

Panicked Daming quickly lifted the railing and let go! The black car passed slowly. ......

What happened afterwards? Later ..... the car slowly drove into the "Kaifeng House".

I'm still young.

A big mouse was chased by a Xiaohua Mall. The rat had nowhere to run and took a bunch of flowers to resist. Xiaohua Mall saw it and said shyly, "Shit, I'm still young."

Hold back internal injuries

I invited a buddy to dinner today. He may have eaten too much. On the bus, he couldn't help burping three times in a row: "Uh-huh ~ uh-huh ~" A little friend sitting next to me sat on his mother's lap, and he said, "Qu Tian Ge ~" ... The whole bus was laughing crazy ... I was alone in the corner to hold back my internal injuries. ......

I can't see any light.

The three ladies talked about sunbathing together.

W: I work in a darkroom in a photo studio and seldom see the sun.

Woman B: I've been wrapped up by others, let alone seen the sunshine!

C: I am fine! In the office, you just operate in a black box, and you can't see any light!

The private room is my own.

The snail flew into a rage when he finished his meal and checked out: "You are too dark. I just ate a small bowl of noodles here and charged my room rate. Please make it clear that the private room is my own, not yours. "

Xiaolaopo pancakes

One day, I went to the famous Da Qiao Road food store in Tianjin to buy food. I want to buy an old lady cake almost every time! As a result, I saw a slightly smaller cake that looked basically the same, but I was not sure, so I asked my assistant aunt, "Is this the cake of the little old woman?"

As a result, the audience is neither humble nor supercilious!

I'm afraid it needs to be renovated.

One day, several decoration workers were bored at the gate of the community. They saw a mm leading a dog around and asked loudly, "Beauty, why are you leading your brother around?"

Mm has a smile on her face: "I'm afraid it's going to be renovated."

Why didn't Longfei come to school?

The teacher asked: Why didn't Dragonfly come to school today?

The fly stood up and answered: yesterday, the street was being swept away and taken away.

The teacher asked again, why didn't you get caught?

The fly replied with a bitter face: the city manager said I was ugly and noisy, which seriously affected the city appearance. Get off the road.

A bet between a pig slayer and a tea seller

The pig killer said, "A hammer won't break eggs."

The tea seller said, "The hammer is broken!"

The pig killer said, "The hammer won't break!"

Not convinced, the tea seller brought an egg and smashed it with a hammer. The egg was broken. Said, "This is broken."

The pig killer said, "the egg is broken, I said the hammer can't break it!" " "

Of course, the national certificate plus credits.

College students can get three credits for getting a marriage certificate. I don't know why.

A senior said: "Of course, it is a national certificate plus credits!"

Who bit you?

Primary school went to the teacher's house to make up lessons. A circle of children, I recruited mosquitoes and got stung by a giant bag.

The teacher took the wind oil essence and asked me, "Who bit you?"

I said, "Mosquito."

..... After answering the question three times, the teacher suddenly said, "Hey! I mean, "Who did the mosquito bite? "

Yuanwailang

On one occasion, Yuan Wailang, a member of Shi Zhongli, and his colleagues went to see the lions raised in Nanyuan.

The person in charge said: the county official needs to feed it five pounds of meat every day.

These foreign ministers said: we people are not treated as well as this lion!

Shi Zhongli said: Of course! Our officials are all foreigners (wolves), dare to compare with the lions in the park?

jackass

A car carrying the body walked in front, and a "250" ran behind the car, shouting "Master, wait for me."

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