The lines of Degang Guo's cross talk "On Festivals"

Guo: Thousands of people came to listen to cross talk and praised us.

Yes

Guo: I have nothing to report. In fact, many viewers like you very much.

Y: Everyone likes to listen to cross talk.

Guo: I like to see teachers.

Y: well, patronize.

Guo: You have cooperated with me for 10 years.

Yes

Guo: It helps me a lot.

Y: I dare not say.

Guo: I owe all my achievements to myself.

Y: Well, don't touch me until you introduce me, okay?

Guo: I'm not finished yet.

Y: go ahead.

Guo: Monofilaments don't make a line, and solitary trees don't make a forest. Covered in iron and hit a few nails.

Y: this pair.

Guo: Can we be where we are today without the help of others?

Y: Well, I dare not say.

Guo: I want to take this opportunity to thank my wife.

Y: Is there me here or not?

Guo: Is there?

Y: Ah, you mean me.

Guo: If it weren't for you, I would have been famous.

Y: ah ah. I've been muddling along, haven't I

Guo: Just kidding. These years of cooperation have been very pleasant.

Y: very good.

Guo: The main reason is that your artistic level is high.

Y: You flatter me.

Guo: Its own quality is high.

Y: if not.

Guo: This is no ordinary person. In our backstage, everyone knows-loyal elders.

Y: You flatter me again.

Guo: Everyone likes you, too. For the dear audience, you must pay attention to your health.

Y: thank you.

Guo: Take care of yourself.

Y: the body?

Guo: Then what?

Y: take care of yourself.

Guo: Take care of yourself. Hey, what happened to my mouth? Body, right?

Yu: the body

Guo: Yes.

Y: what a mess?

Guo: Hello, Shen.

Y: This, this, you don't need to do pinyin.

K: OK. Sorry, I haven't learned much.

Y: Oh, and you?

Guo: I hope you are in good health.

Y: thank you

Guo: This is a particularly lovely person backstage.

Y: Everyone touches me.

Guo: Fashion.

Y: That's impossible.

Guo: Really, just look at this end. When you are over 80 years old, you are an old artist with a blank head, just like Pleasant Goat.

Y: Hey, look, you are better than this thing.

Guo: I'm so happy!

Yes

Guo: On the stage, you are wearing a costume. That day you went backstage and took a big gold chain, weighing 130 kg.

Y: Such a heavy gold chain.

Guo: I wear it during the day and lock the dog at night.

Y: Well, I chain our dog.

Guo: Don't you think so? That's not bad. Wear this dress. Fashion is here.

Y: that's right.

Guo: What is fashion? Others don't wear it, you wear it first. This is fashion.

Y: ah, in front.

Guo: The break dance that I danced that year.

Y: More than eight years.

Guo: Take that glove. It's a broken finger.

Y: It's right here. No, give me your finger.

Guo: The one without fingers. We don't understand.

Y: You are an amateur.

Guo: You buy a broken one. He just said, you don't understand. You look broken and have holes, so you are an amateur. It's called thunderbolt gloves.

Y: right.

Guo: I still have thunderbolt socks.

Yes Hmm? Open-toed socks

Guo: I still have thunderbolt underwear.

Y: Hey ... what is this ... is it?

Guo: We don't care whether we wear it or not, but it's really easy to take off.

Y: Give me a slap directly from above and wear a pocket to go out.

Guo: I have an identity.

Y: This is a dress with status. this

Guo: I admire you.

Y: that's it.

Guo: Oh, rich. At that time, their family was the same as the emperor's.

Y: Ah, it's a little kiss.

Guo: This was later changed.

Y: right.

Guo: Ah, now I know Mr. Yu and Mr. Yu He wrote. A horse on the left, a family on the right. Think back to the time. .

Y: Don't think about that year. You said the one who loves donkeys, one family per horse.

Guo: Are these two the same?

Y: what's the same

Guo: Then read it, donkey.

Y: What a donkey!

Guo: Ma Hu donkey Ma Hu donkey. Then you, why are you surnamed donkey again?

Who named you donkey?

Guo: I always said my surname was Yu. Why did you change your surname to donkey?

Y: You said donkey, horse. .

Guo: You choose one.

Y: What do you mean? Pick one. You must go in.

Guo: My surname is Yu, teacher Yu. Because it will be their home, the home of the Eight Banners nobles.

Yes

Guo: Who do we always talk about? Children of the eight banners. Get him.

Y: Our home is among them.

Guo: Hey, we are from the same family as the Emperor.

Yu: Imperial clan

Guo: Manchuria is playing black chess.

Y: It's black.

Guo: Tiehui Banner in Manzhouli.

Y: Why is it this color?

Guo: Manchu flag

Y: We, the first wife, are still alive. Why are we still in the room? This is the yellow flag.

Guo: Zhenghuangqi Zhenghuangqi. He belongs to the emperor and his great-grandfather has a name.

Y: make a phone call ..

Guo: Aisingiorro basket.

What do you mean? You have to call it a laundry list.

Guo: We don't know how this name came from.

Y: where is this name?

Guo: There were eight iron hat kings in the Qing Dynasty. They have been handed down from generation to generation, and they have their own homes.

Yu: One of them.

Guo: Eight iron hats and green hats.

Y: Look at this color in our house.

Guo: It's nothing to say that a generation is like this. Generations have been like this. When he was born, he gave birth to twins. Rank, that's great There must be a family gene. You have had this before, so you have this.

Yes

Guo: You have another child, both of them. Hey, their neighbors have this twin gene.

Y: really. No, I haven't heard of it. Neighbors have genes. We have twins in our family.

Guo: Your neighbor's family has genes, and so does yours.

Y: You made it very clear.

Guo: Everyone wondered why twins were born in this hutong.

Y: oh.

Guo: He gave birth to two children, a pair. In those days, medical conditions were not good, and then, one died.

Y: right.

Guo: It's ruined. That's a real pity. There's only one left

Y: just me.

Guo: There is only one left. It was you who died. You are your brother. Think about it, think about it.

Y: I can't figure it out Why did I take this so carelessly?

Guo: We don't understand. Because of you, medically, they call it ... spawning.

Y: ah.

Guo: That's it.

Y: wait a minute, no. How can it be called oviparous?

Guo: Twins? Lay eggs. Oviposition brother

Y: twin brothers. It's called.

Guo: I remember it was laid by eggs.

Y: ah, the egg is born. That was hatched from an egg. We call them twins.

Guo: Twins, twin brothers. And then destroyed one and left one.

Y: just me.

Guo: This is an orphan.

How can you be an orphan?

Guo: What a lonely one ... ..

Y: I haven't heard of it.

Guo: I don't think so.

Y: This orphan is not called an orphan.

Guo: But you are relying on this battle.

Y: I'm the only one who hurts.

Guo: It hurts him. Ouch. You said this. ...

Y: What are you going to say?

Guo: The weaning time is very late.

Y: That hurts. I weaned late.

Guo: It's nothing, everyone. There is a 3-year-old baby at home who is still nursing.

Y: Some of them have been eating for four or five years.

Guo: I'm not talking about you.

Y: nothing. It is normal.

Guo: The teacher weaned too late.

Y: right.

Guo: It's just a family pet, ha. He nursed until yesterday.

Y: Did you eat until yesterday? If I don't perform today, I will still eat, won't I?

Guo: Just milk powder, the one you drank, the one you bought, donkey milk.

Y: donkey milk.

Guo: What?

Y: milk.

Guo: Milk, drink milk, and have a drink now. Strong body

Y: If you are in good health, it will be over.

Guo: The family has money. He has whatever he wants. How rich his father is, he does business with foreigners.

Y: Multinational companies.

Guo: By big plane. Ha, hey

Y: The plane was thrown away? Can you sit down?

Guo: I am haha.

Y: What does it matter? You can sit down for a while.

Guo: That's it. Just fly there anyway.

Y: The plane is so big.

Guo: Yo, his father flew, goo, goo, goo.

Y: What's the matter with you?

Guo: no, no, no, no.

Y: Is it from a machine gun?

Guo: I don't know. I don't understand this.

Y: You don't need to learn this onomatopoeia.

Guo: Didn't the crosstalk performers say onomatopoeia?

Y: hey, you ...

Guo: Sometimes by boat.

Y: going abroad.

Guo: Go out to sea with foreigners. Three decks,

Y: big ship.

Guo: His father is standing at the bow of the boat. Let's row.

Y: I crossed it out. Such a big boat is not tired.

Guo: Neither do we. Anyway, that's how we describe it.

Y: there is no need to describe it.

Guo: It's dangerous to go by boat.

Y: What's the danger?

Guo: I met pirates on the high seas.

Y: yo.

Guo: Everyone has seen pirates in movies and TV series, with beards and long hair.

Yes, yes.

Guo: There is something wrong with one eye, that is, an eye patch. charge

Y: He just wants money.

Guo: Everyone is afraid, except your father. Go ahead, how much is it?

Y: He is calm.

Guo: Three million. Then $3 million.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: His father is very happy.

Y: oh.

Guo: I will give you 4 million yuan, and you will give me an invoice of100000.

Yu: I see.

Guo: You write me an invoice of100000.

Y: Hey, what do you think? Yes, he is still considering reimbursement.

Guo: Guess what, the pirates are crying. This eye is crying.

Oh, dear.

Guo: Well, you still made a lot of money.

Y: The pirates are at their wit's end.

Guo: After returning to China, my father resigned.

Y: Is that enough? that

Guo: Counting money with the house every day.

Y: oh, I earned it.

Guo: The only hobby of this fight is spending money. I think every day, alas, how can I spend money?

Yes

Guo: It's so fun.

Y: oh.

Guo: Eat breakfast with your eyes open in the morning and spend as much money as you can.

Y: How much will that cost?

Guo: Let's have breakfast. How much can you eat? You can eat 10 yuan 8 yuan soon.

Yes

Guo: How much can you eat by burning a fried dough stick?

Y: that's true.

Guo: That's right. But his father won't eat it. Get up in the morning to eat fried dough sticks with sesame seeds, no identity.

Y: What shall we eat?

Guo: A large pot of that and a large pot of stew.

Y: that is, pig intestines.

Guo: Hey, local snacks in Beijing, pig intestines. Just this cauldron, his father, which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which which.

Y: My dad robbed me. What about this food protection?

Guo: It's not true, it's just. . .

Y: Then why did you make that noise?

Guo: I am just happy. Alas, seeing the pig's large intestine is like seeing my relatives.

Y: What about your own talent?

Guo: That's how it is described.

Y: what description?

Guo: This is breakfast. This pot of intestines won't cost two or three hundred dollars.

Y: It won't cost much.

Guo: It's morning, noon, and the big basin is coming again.

Y: what?

Guo: Intestines.

Y: Still that pot?

Guo: It's still the same pot, but the processing method of intestines is different.

Y: Oh, it's different.

Guo: I chopped them all in the morning, piece by piece.

Y: it's broken

Guo: This is the one at noon.

Yu: whole root

Guo: The dish is in this basin. When it is finished, throw it out and hold it.

Y: Then this needs craftsmanship.

Guo: Let's eat when your father sees no one. Find this end, pick it up and put it in your mouth (suck it with your mouth)

Y: Is this the intestine or the feces in it?

Guo: It's dirty.

Y: Nonsense, why is it so disgusting?

Guo: It's even worse at night.

Y: What was it again?

Guo: large intestine sashimi

Y: It's raw.

Guo: Oh, I feel sick.

Y: Oh, he stabbed me here ... how angry my father is every day. It's all intestines

K: There is mustard. Dip in mustard.

Y: What does that matter?

Guo: If the ingredients are small, eat them with waist flowers.

Y: Hey, how are you?

Guo: Your father never stops by for dinner, never.

Y: Yes, they are all smoked.

Guo: It is such a state, especially when the elderly are happiest on holidays.

Y: What's wrong with festivals?

Guo: Holidays can cost money.

Y: how do you spend money on holidays?

Guo: There is a reason to spend money in peacetime and on holidays.

Y: What's the reason?

Guo: His father is here. Look at the monthly card.

Y: Wait a minute, my father will show up.

Guo: The monthly card is hung low.

Y: Low is low. Squat down and have a look. What's shaking your neck?

Guo: Look, beginning of spring is here today. His father was very happy,

Y: why?

Guo: beginning of spring can have a holiday.

Y: What festival is it?

Guo: Youxi

Y: Ah, what about the Japanese?

Guo: China people.

Y: Chinese is yo-yo.

Guo: There is a play.

Y: how is that possible?

Guo: Hey, you can spend money today. Have a chance.

Y: Oh, there is such an opportunity.

Guo: Hey, Youyou,

Y: There is a play.

Guo: Arriga Davao cursed to death.

Y: no This is Japanese.

Guo: I can hear it.

Y: How fresh is it?

Guo: After beginning of spring, Beijingers bake pancakes in spring. What small fish and shrimp? Cut some elbow sauce and meat.

Y: that's it.

Guo: His father didn't.

Y: what about us?

Guo: Pancakes make people laugh.

Y: don't eat this.

Guo: Bake pancakes.

Y: how old is it?

Guo: Hey, 120 Jin of noodles.

Y: 120 A Jin cake.

Guo: Hey, the dough is too thick, you know. I can't eat at night.

Y: My family all live in cakes.

Guo: It is not enough for four people to slaughter seven cows.

Y: you can eat it.

Guo: Snails.

Y: Snails, does this person eat snails?

Guo: That's annoying.

Y: Just eat this seasoning.

Guo: Just to spend money.

Y: How much did it cost?

Guo: In the blink of an eye. Dragon Boat Festival in May, your father is happy and excellent.

Y: here we go again.

Guo: You can spend money again.

Y: Oh, this is another play.

Guo: Bao jiaozi.

Y: it should be like this.

Guo: Their zongzi is big.

Y: oh.

K: Half a ton each.

Y: Half a ton of zongzi?

Guo: other people make zongzi, a small zongzi, four dates and five dates. There are two jujube trees in a zongzi in your house.

Y: put all the jujube trees in it?

Guo: Chop it and eat it.

Y: ouch.

Guo: Eat zongzi and drink realgar wine.

Y: I need another sip.

Guo: It should be a festival. After drinking, his father sat here awkwardly, alas.

Y: Why sigh?

Guo: I am depressed.

Y: Why are you depressed?

Guo: I feel depressed and uncomfortable.

Y: why?

Guo: I don't feel well. I have to talk to Yu Qian.

Y: come with me.

Guo: Alas, son.

Y: Can you rush over? You have nothing to do and take advantage of you.

Guo: Alas, (turning back) son.

Y: it's me again You have to tell me, don't you?

Guo: To tell you the truth, I have to rush to you.

Y: I can't run away from me.

Guo: Today is the Dragon Boat Festival in May, and I feel very sad. I miss your mother.

Y: My mother?

Guo: Your mother is not from Beijing.

Y: where?

Guo: I live in Emei Mountain, Sichuan.

Y: Emei Mountain?

Guo: You also have an aunt named Xiaoqing. That year, the two of them traveled to the West Lake. I went to Hangzhou on business. They borrowed an umbrella from me when it rained in the West Lake.

Y: Borrow an umbrella to swim in the lake.

Guo: Actually, this is a wonderful marriage. Then our neighbor Haisir screwed up.

Y: Where is Uncle Huanhai?

Guo: There's a mix-up.

Y: OK, what are you talking about? This is the legend of the white snake.

Guo: About your family.

Y: It's not our family's business.

Guo: Isn't it?

Y: You said string.

Guo: Well, I didn't say anything either. Mid-Autumn Festival in August.

Y: Today is August Festival.

Guo: Today is August 15th. Everyone in the world is happy to eat moon cakes on holidays.

Y: right.

Guo: There are two festivals in your family.

Y: Why are there two festivals?

Guo: Today is the Mid-Autumn Festival and your father's birthday.

Y: My father and a prostitute-Amanome?

Guo: What a coincidence. The whole family and everyone came to celebrate the old man's birthday, and the old man was very happy. Today, August 15, is my birthday. I am very happy.

Y: I'm stroking my ear. This is still ...

Guo: But ... But. ..

Y: The rabbit with a broken ear is still a rabbit. What's going on here? Why are you still stroking your ears?

Guo: This ... itches.

Y: It can't itch so high.

Guo: I didn't have this, stirrup. I went up.

Y: it must be this voice.

Guo: No, no, no, no big ears, no.

Y: still.

Guo: The old man punched his arm and took out a carrot. Stop!

Y: Children's songs are coming out. They like carrots and vegetables.

Guo: Oh, no, no, the carrots are there.

Y: There are no carrots at all.

Guo: Well ...

Y: Stop jumping. Why is it so broken?

Guo: You let others live and don't let them live.

Y: You can't live without learning from rabbits, can you?

Guo: Look, all right. everyone

Y: You know, you don't have to put on such a big shelf.

Guo: All right, forget it. Today's Mid-Autumn Festival, eat moon cakes, say, what stuffing to eat.

Y: how to return the stuffing?

Guo: This sentence means that the money is coming.

Y: why?

Guo: Customize it.

Y: oh, now.

Guo: Find a big pastry company and make a new mold for your family by yourself.

Yu: I see.

Guo: It is difficult to mix the stuffing and dough separately according to the process.

Y: this is.

Guo: Ah, a symbol of status. Just tell me what stuffing to eat, you-use fish stuffing, ok.

Y: hairy fish stuffing.

Guo: What about you, waist? Okay, okay, okay. You are cumin, and you are mustard. Ok, I'll make noodles.

Y: Isn't that white cake? Well, it's also made of flour.

Guo: If you have the identity to place an order, a moon cake 1000 yuan.

Yu: I see.

Guo: Especially that box, it is more valuable.

Y: Box.

Guo: Our mooncake boxes are made of plastic and iron.

Y: that's it.

Guo: What about their home? It is made of wood.

Yu: I see.

Guo: Redwood.

Y: Go up a storey still higher.

Guo: Small rosewood.

Y: be more specific.

Guo: Rectangular, alas, one holds a moon cake. I don't know who ordered what, but I can handle it. What should I do?

Y: how to distinguish?

Guo: Who ordered what stuffing? Hang a picture of you on that box.

Y: photos?

Guo: On August 15th, the whole family sat down and hugged a box of hooves.

Y: How frustrating it is.

Guo: Today is a holiday.

Y: Hey, all right, all right. Don't cry. On August 15, everyone in our family ate moon cakes with urns.

Guo: Only in this way can we have identity.

Y: that's not how it works.

Guo: Later, the whole family could not live in Beijing.

Y: which country?

Guo: Fangshan

Y: Fangshan asked the immigrants.

Guo: Go to fangshan county. It's a big place.

Y: that's right.

Guo: I bought a large piece of land and built a house.

Yes

Guo: The house is too exquisite. The fog is bright from a distance and looks like a whole brick at a close distance.

Y: My family is uncomfortable. The whole brick is so big.

Guo: I can't swim. A big one.

Y: say yes.

Guo: There are four locust trees in front of the door. A post used to mount and dismount a horse. There is a bright gate on the north side of the road, and there is a lazy stool under the door lamp. Guan Hui Housing Management owns a communication office. The four green screens of the second door are sprinkled with gold stars, and four graffiti reads: foot health care.

Y: Who said that? Has anyone written about foot care?

Guo: Write what?

Y: Write Zhongzheng in Zhai Zhuang.

Guo: Zhai Zhuang is upright and has a serious and neat back.

Y: hey.

Guo: When you enter the second door, Haimen yard is full of bricks. The scenery in summer is three-inch and six-inch high ceilings.

Y: three inches six? What about all the toads in our house?

Guo: How high?

Y: Three feet six inches.

Guo: The ceiling is three feet six feet, and the four inserts say: the thief shines high.

Y: Hi, lucky stars are shining.

Guo: Shrimp skin and whiskers are hung in summer, and the gate is closed in winter. Looking inside, it is unique to draw an open-air machine.

Y: it's inside

Guo: There is a fan-shaped mattress hanging on it.

Y: it's all wet, isn't it

Guo: What?

Y: This famous calligraphy and painting.

Guo: The beauty is the landscape of Lu Yanchang, the fan of Liu Shi 'an, the right one, the bamboo of Banqiao and the pen of Song Dynasty. Mid-year title imperial book

Y: it says

Guo: One world, one dream.

Y: What a mess. This is, can this be written by Qianlong?

Guo: All my family members go to work during the day and come back as soon as it gets dark, with neon lights flashing and bright lights.

Y: hey.

Guo: There are quite a few friends who drop by, and none of them talk and laugh with the literati. There are also many sisters in their family.

Y: right.

Guo: They are all beautiful, and the passing guests have good handwriting. A plaque with four big characters is hung in the middle.

Y: a happy family.

Guo: Heaven and Earth.

Hey, fuck you.