Chinese and English jokes?

Jokes are common humor in daily life. Different from ordinary daily conversation, jokes deliberately violate the cooperative principle, derive the conversational implicature from it, and use the conflict between conversational implicatures to realize its expected function. I carefully collected English jokes about medium and long stories for everyone to enjoy and learn!

About a long English joke: This dog is a genius.

A butcher is in his shop. He is very busy. He notices a dog in the shop. He drove him away. But later, he noticed that the dog was back. So he went to the dog and noticed that it had a piece of paper in its mouth. He picked up a note that said, "Can I have it?

Please give me 12 sausage and a leg of lamb. This dog has money in his mouth, too. "

The butcher looks inside. Look, there is a 10 pound note inside. So he took the money, put the sausage and mutton in a bag and put it in the dog's mouth. The butcher was impressed by this, because it was almost closing time, and he decided to close the door and follow the dog. So he left.

The dog was walking in the street when he came to a grade crossing. The dog put down the bag, jumped up and pressed the button. Then, with a bag in his mouth, he waited patiently for the light to come on. They did. He crossed the road and the butcher followed him all the way.

Then the dog ran to a bus stop and began to look at the timetable. The butcher is in trouble at this stage. The dog checks the time and then sits in one of the seats provided.

There is a bus along the street. The dog walked around in front, looked at the number, and then returned to his seat. Another bus. The dog looked at the number again and found it was the car, so he climbed up. The butcher, now with his mouth open, followed him on the bus.

The bus went through the town and came to the suburbs. The dog was watching the scenery. Finally, he stood up and walked to the front of the bus. He stood on two hind feet and pressed the button to stop the car. Then he got out of the car with food in his mouth.

Well, the dog and the butcher are walking on the road, and then the dog turns into a house. He walked up the path and put the groceries on the steps. Then he walked back along the path, ran a big circle, and then jumped-wow! -Against the door. He walked back along the path, ran to the door, and-bang! -Fight again. There was no answer in the house, so the dog went back along the path, jumped on a narrow wall and walked along the perimeter of the garden. He went to the window, hit his head several times, then came back, jumped out of the car and waited at the door.

The butcher watched a big man open the door and began to attack the dog. Kick him, hit him and scold him.

The butcher ran up and stopped the guy. "What the hell are you doing? This dog is a genius. He can be on TV, for God's sake! " The man replied ... "What a genius! This is the second time this week that he forgot his key!"

About a long English joke: desert outpost

A captain of the foreign legion was transferred to the desert outpost. During his welcome trip, he noticed a very old camel tied to the back of the soldiers' barracks. He asked the sergeant who led the way, "What are camels for?" .

The police officer replied, "Sir, it's far from anywhere. Men have natural sexual desire, so when they have sexual desire, well, we have camels."

The captain said, "If it's good for morality, then I think I have no problem."

After staying in the fortress for about six months, the captain couldn't stand it any longer, so he said to his sergeant, "bring the camel in!" ! ! "

The sergeant shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captain's residence. The captain got a footstool. Started having intense sexual intercourse with camels. When he stepped with satisfaction,

He got down from the stool, buttoned his pants and asked the sergeant, "Is that what soldiers do?"

The police officer replied, "Sir, they usually just use it to get into town."

Your dog is dead.

A man rushed into the vet's office with his dog and went completely crazy. The vet examined the dog's motionless and limp body and told the man sadly that the dog was dead.

The man was sad to lose his best friend. He asked the doctor if he could try to revive the dog for the last time.

The doctor went into his other room and came back with a cat in a cage. He put the cage on the inspection table and opened the sliding door.

The cat got up, stretched, walked out of the cage and slowly sniffed the body around the dog from beginning to end. After that, he looked up and called the vet, walked back to the cage and went back to sleep.

The vet looked at the man and said with his best patient attitude, "I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do."

After resigning, the man signed his name and said, "Thank you for your efforts. How much do I owe you? "

"Three hundred and fifty dollars," the doctor replied.

“Thr。 . . thr。 . . 300-550 dollars tell me my dog is dead! " The man was arrested.

"Oh, it only cost 50 dollars to visit the office. Another $300 is the cost of CAT scanning. "