Yun Guichuan tells jokes in Chongqing

1, wife is a melon, lover is a flower, tired to eat melons, leisure to enjoy flowers, wages to plant melons, bonus flowers, eat melons, don't want to spend, don't want to spend melons, melons have flowers, melons used to be flowers, since there are melons, why spend them again, carve melons with your heart, melons can also carve flowers! !

2. Husband is left-handed! The wife is right-handed, and the left hand always feels nothing when it touches the right hand!

When one day! The left hand is bleeding, and the right hand must help stop the bleeding!

When one day, the left hand itches, the right hand must be scratched!

When one day, the left hand is tired of moving things, the right hand will definitely help you carry the burden!

Therefore, you don't have to dislike your right hand, and you can't dislike your left hand, because the left hand slaps the right hand to drum up a wonderful life!

3, the wife said: the marriage certificate should be adjusted, like the driver's license *** 12 points.

Deduct 2 points for not accompanying children, 3 points for not accompanying wife when playing mobile phone, and 6 points for fighting with wife. Once an affair is found, the marriage certificate will be revoked directly and personal property will be confiscated. You can't remarry for life, and you are not allowed to take make-up exams. Leave home clean if you are angry with your daughter-in-law.

4, the wife is noodle soup, although warm but too mediocre; The second wife is KFC, and she is tired of eating too many foreign flavors; Xiaomi is instant-boiled mutton, which tastes like that. Miss, it is mala Tang, as long as you can order almost all the dishes.

My wife is salted fish, so it's good to eat if you want. Xiaosan is a turtle, nutritious but expensive; Xiaomi is a puffer fish, delicious but poisonous; Miss is saury, delicious and cheap, you can buy it in the market.

5. My wife cut me a thousand times, and I treated my wife like my first love. My wife has abused me thousands of times, and I swear to be with you forever. My wife scolded me for not blocking my heart, and I treated myself as a footman. My wife will always be God, and I will never abandon her in my life. What my wife said is true, so the answer must be appropriate. Wife should cooperate when bragging, or her legs will be discounted when she goes home.

6. In the restaurant, a bachelor said to me, "I am so envious. When can I have a chance to eat a couple package? "

I comforted him and said, "Don't lose heart. As long as I have money, people like me can buy a couple package. "

7. "Come"

"Now, what's the queen's order?"

"I suspect that someone in the palace has used witchcraft on me!"

"This. . . How to say it? "

"I have always paid manually recently, and I can't stop at all. I suspect that someone is hurting my palace."

"。 . 。"