Why can't Chen and Lingling be happy together?

I wrote an article the day before yesterday, imagining the fate of Chen who abandoned his wife and children. Some critics angered me, "flies don't bite seamless eggs. If there is something wrong with the original marriage, it must be changed. This is really a housewife's dream. "

Today, from the perspective of personality and the most often overlooked in our marriage, analyze:

"Why are Chen and Lingling unhappy!" The truth 1: Lingling's marriage problem

Lingling's ex-husband didn't appear in my first half of life, but one thing is certain: Lingling, like Chen, cheated in marriage.

As can be seen from the first four episodes, Lingling rented a house with her children and separated from her husband. Many people want to know how a woman with such a high emotional intelligence can't handle her marriage well. One thing can be speculated: Lingling's husband is an unscrupulous shopkeeper.

Lingling is soft outside and hard inside. She is meticulous in her work. She has repeatedly stressed Jiaqing's emphasis on "safety" when taking care of children. She is a good mother and an independent professional woman.

Lingling's strength at work and her education in Jiaqing just exposed her insecurity. She urgently needs to find a shoulder to lean on, or at least a "long-term meal ticket" to help her bear the financial problems. Lingling was a very economical woman before she joined the company, but after she joined the company, she tried her best to go to high-end places for skin care. There is not a woman who does not envy Luo Zijun's pampering in marriage. Even high-risk occupations can't stop some women from coveting it.

Lingling is also envious. She knows Chen very well and knows men better than Luo Zijun. Men don't like being persecuted. When you use "emotions" to make him feel guilty, anything is possible. Men and women are different, especially Chen, a man with good character, who can resist strong persecution but can't resist "guilt".

Married women are independent in the workplace, which only implies a possibility that husbands are unreliable. The more you emphasize the strength of the workplace and financial independence, it is precisely the inability to resist insecurity.

After Lingling moved out of Chen, her parents put pressure on her to change to a big house. From her point of view, she wants to find a father for Jiaqing, at least to bear the burden of life and give Jiaqing a good life. One more thing, Chen mentioned to Luo Zijun that "Lingling's house has also been taken back", which means "Lingling cheated in her marriage and went out clean."

Lingling once brazenly said a word: "Flies don't bite seamless eggs." Who told you there was something wrong with your marriage? I can't blame you. I vividly portrayed the mistress robbing someone else's husband, and she also robbed it with confidence.

After Lingling and Sheng Jun get married, there is a possibility: if she has the initiative in economy, she will be afraid that Sheng Jun will help Zijun to make peace. "You promised to give her 500,000 yuan, how can we live?" She's more worried. What will she do with Jiaqing?

One of the biggest problems of family reorganization between husband and wife: two hearts between husband and wife can't be single-minded

Lingling's starting point must be for Jiaqing, not for this family. She will also prevent Chen from contacting his ex-wife, let alone Pinger. Men marry their former partners because of feelings, women are single-minded to you, and children will not have two hearts. But the lover won't, and the mistress won't. She will think more about her children, followed by men.

But some men are stupid and think they are in love, but they don't know that they are just a long-term meal ticket to help others raise their children. I dare not speculate how much emotional support is needed to raise a child who is not related by blood. There is a possibility that it doesn't matter if you love me or my dog when you are young and strong, but you will regret it when you need the spiritual comfort of blood relationship in your later years.

"Truth 2: The marriage between Luo Zijun and Chen is hopeless?"

The marriage between Luo Zijun and Chen does have problems. Even in the first four episodes, He Han said it was a miracle that such a marriage did not divorce.

There is something wrong with marriage, but that's no reason why you can cheat without scruple. If there are problems with the marriage of the older generation, they are all patched up; Modern people, if they break down, change their wives faster than changing their faces. This also illustrates one point: the lack of contemporary male responsibility.

I don't think the marriage between Luo Zijun and Chen is hopeless. Tang Jing once said: "When two people are together, the fast-moving one will always get rid of the stagnant one." But in marriage, as a husband, Chen, why not give Luo Zijun a hand? Whose problem is it, or Chen's?

After ten years of marriage, Chen began to get tired of loving his devoted wife. Only ask her to take care of the family before marriage. After marriage, after a long time, she felt boring and claimed that she had no love. Man, think about it. What do you need? A good woman takes care of the house behind her back, gets bored, cheats, marries another woman, and that's all. As can be seen from the current plot, Chen Heling took on two families economically after her marriage. He would rather work overtime than go home, and when he got home, it was a mess. What's the point?

Chen was selfish from beginning to end and never thought about Luo Zijun and Pinger. Even after the divorce, Chen said to He Han, "She can't, she can't." He was distrustful, critical and disgusted with Zijun, but he never thought about how to help and guide her to change.

The couple have been together for ten years, and when they find problems, they only find excuses to cheat but don't want to communicate and change. Without the marriage of husband and wife, I suddenly found a couple with two hearts. I have to say, Chen, those who think they are smart are really stupid.

Chen claimed that he was in love with Lingling, which was just an illusion. Lingling gave him spiritual comfort to some extent, but his feelings for Lingling were more guilty. Zhen Chen has no feelings for Luo Zijun? Not necessarily!

In the latest notice, Chen is jealous of He Han's care for his son. He reminded He Han to straighten his position and "be an outsider". It's funny that even he is an outsider, and he hasn't put himself in the right position after the divorce.

In fact, the marriage between Chen and Luo Zijun can be adjusted. After ten years of marriage, how can there be no problem? The mistake is that Chen never communicates, is half-hearted and not honest with his wife. Chen Ye abandoned his wife and children and committed suicide for himself. When Luo Zijun fought back, he realized that he was wrong. He would regret giving up Luo Zijun so easily, and then be swayed by considerations of gain and loss and be completely stupid.

"Truth 3: Love has no bottom line? Don't hurt innocent people in the name of love. "

Grandma Qiong Yao's concept of love: love is more important than anything else. As long as two people love each other, they can be unscrupulous. Whether he has a family or not, whether he has children or not, as long as I love him, I will be with him no matter what. This is a very blind, naive and irresponsible view of love.

Love should first be the friendship between two independent individuals. If the other person has a family and children, it is a sign that adults have no responsibility and sense of responsibility because of their own desires. Your so-called being together is at the expense of hurting children and others. Without feelings, you can't go on. You can get a divorce and find another lover. But what are more people? It is not honest to enjoy the so-called sweetness of love and prevent divorced people from being together. This is not love, this is holding a group to keep warm, and this is greed.

Lingling's so-called face is magnanimous and proud: flies don't bite seamless eggs. It is reasonable to cheat a person's marriage and steal his husband. That kind of eating is to declare who told you not to keep good things, don't blame me for thinking too much.

Chen's infidelity is a matter of course, and he has no guilt. "I fell in love with someone else." Falling in love with others is the reason why you abandon your wife and children and cheat on your marriage. Like an irresponsible child who made a mistake, that's all. That face is really annoying.

Love has a price, especially when adults have a family, they have to pay for each other's behavior. Liang Qichao delivered an alternative wedding speech at the wedding of Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman:

"Don't take selfishness as the criterion, don't take absurdity and pleasure as the purpose of life pursuit, don't treat marriage as a child's play, think that you can get married if you are happy, divorce if you are unhappy, make parents feel ashamed, make friends look down on themselves, and make society look like a joke! Anyway, I hope this is the last time you two get married in your life! This is my congratulations to you! -I'm finished! "

Now many adults don't agree with this irresponsible behavior. They get married when they are happy, divorce when they are unhappy, and treat marriage as a child's play. Cheating is a common occurrence, hurting people and children who love themselves.

Truth 4: Men and women have different concepts of home.

Here I want to emphasize the position of women in the family. Whether housewives or professional women, women always spend more time at home than men. Especially when a family has children, women should deal with the relationship between children, work and family.

Men should be clear and pay attention to the core position and contribution of their wives in the family. Because of your wife, your home is still home. Although today's society is no longer "the man is outside and the woman is inside", men still spend most of their time outside. It is not difficult to explain why men and women have different concepts of "home", and women will care more about and protect it, while men don't.

If the hostess of a home changes, this home will naturally be someone else's home. It is easy to understand why many divorced women insist on taking their children. How good can you expect other women to be to your children when other women are in charge of your family and most men are outside? Lingling, for example, takes it for granted that she will not really treat Pinger. She is looking for a father for her children. How could she care about Pinger? She will even covet Sheng Jun's money. Is it spent in Pinger or Jiaqing? People are selfish, not to mention Lingling with a heart.

I have two children, a bowl of water is hard to level, not to mention children who are not related to me by blood.

But men don't count on it. They spend most of their time outside and pay little attention to their families. Chen devotes himself to making money to support his family. Will he really be happy? Not necessarily! Jiaqing and Lingling are more like a family, but he is like an outsider, a person who goes out early and returns late to earn money to support other people's children, but he has no feelings.

"Truth 5: How much harm does the husband and wife do to the children in the middle of family reorganization?"

When the hostess of a family changes, it is not difficult to understand what Pinger said with tears: "Why is grandpa there and dad there, but how can the family become someone else?" Because my mother is gone, that family is no longer in the charge of his mother, but Lingling. Even if my biological father is here and my grandparents are there, it's not my home.

Pinger returned to her original home, just like an outsider. Even if relatives are around her, everything depends on Lingling's face. Lingling is kind on the surface, but Pinger is still embarrassed. In the latest story, Pinger went back to her home on weekends and finally slept on the ground.

After the divorce, we all heard a very common saying: "Parents' faults should not be imposed on their children, and children should not resent them. "

This is a very ladylike remark. Put yourself in others' shoes. If you are a child, your father doesn't seem to care much about you except giving money to other women. How much affection will you have for your father in a few decades? In your impression, your father only gave money at best and didn't grow up with you. We always like kidnapping people who are related by blood. We have never paid for our children, and we can look forward to waiting for your old age. How much spiritual reward the children can have!

Your old home was someone else's, and your father was with other children. Besides providing a sperm by blood relationship, is it worthy of the word "father"? As a father, without responsibility, how can he ask his children to forgive and understand?

I can especially understand Luo Zijun's mother's scolding, saying, "Now I know how to treat my son well. I tell you, Pinger will still have to settle accounts with you when he grows up." .

A few days ago, I finished writing the ending of Chen and Lingling, and some readers left me a message, which made me feel a lot. This is the end of Chen's future, and they will regret that their children's feelings for themselves have changed. Adults make irresponsible mistakes, don't consider children, and raise other people's children, which will only make them sad in their later years.

Above, advise men to be more responsible at home and not to treat themselves as free meal tickets; And warn people who are unfaithful to their marriage.

? A thoughtful housewife. Wechat official account: Liming ID: yibao 8690