Han Fuju's jokes.

Han Fuju, Chairman of Shandong Province, occupied Shandong around 20 years of the Republic of China. In less than ten years, countless people died at his hands.

Whether he committed a crime depends on whether he was happy when he asked about the case. That one said: Asking questions is a matter for the judicial department.

Han Fuju is the chairman of the province. Why are you still asking questions about this case? Hey, don't look at him. He has no education. He doesn't know half a liter, or a soldier.

Grasp politics, finance, culture and justice! Ask yourself a case every day, ask a case and catch up with him. How much is the charge?

Can also be released on the spot; If you are not happy to catch up with him, it will be bad luck. What does he think of you, even if you are in an alley?

He can be sentenced to eight words for urinating: urinating anywhere should be shot! Hey, it's dead!

He asked a special case. He didn't ask about three, five, ten and eight cases until he collected 180 cases. It's called.

Boom! Although there is a loud noise, there are still differences: some are released and some are killed. As for which one to kill, he didn't speak and decided to make up his mind.

Remember, what is the secret? Brush your beard. If he brushes his beard on the left, let the prisoner stand on the left and ask about the case.

Some people are all released; If he brushes the beard of his right hand and makes the prisoner stand on his right hand, when the case is over, all these people will die.

! Look, what is this idea?

So it's hard to say who's in trouble. Not only the prisoner, but also the people who work for him. On one occasion, his employees

Job in Changsha sent a small orderly to send a letter to Han Fuju, just when Han Fuju asked about the case. The little orderly shouted, "Report!

Chairman Han, your letter. "

(Shandong accent) "I see, stand there and wait!" (at the same time stroking the beard on the right)

Wait until you ask the case and find the little orderly who delivered the letter. It's gone. Han Fuju wondered, "Hey, just sent me a letter."

What about that guy? "

"If you go back to Chairman Han, you will have been killed."

"Shoot, why shoot?"

"Back to you, when you were talking to him just now, we saw you stroking your right beard."

Wow! Han Fuju listened to the music: "Ha ha, that's interesting. This boy deserves to die! Actually, I didn't stroke my beard just now, so

Am I tickling? "

Where will he give a speech? He went by car on the day when cheeloo university, the highest institution in Shandong, gave a speech.

When the bus arrives at the school gate, Han Fuju gets angry at first sight. Why? Here's the thing. Han Fuju came here to give a speech. This place must be

Be vigilant. You must set up a sentry at the door. The soldier on guard is on duty at six o'clock in the morning. It's half past twelve, and Han Fuju hasn't come yet.

! The man on guard was sleepy and hungry and fell asleep against the wall. Just in time, Han Fuju's car arrived.

Han Fuju was angry at that time, so he got off the bus and gave the doorman a mouth. "Tell you to stand guard and come here to sleep, damn it.

Damn,' jade is rough and rough, abrasive'! "

When the soldier heard Han Fuju's words, he immediately knelt down: "Yes! I will always remember this sentence of President Han! "

"you can't just remember' jade is not cut, abrasive'. Do you know how to say it? "

"He ... doesn't sleep here. You won't be angry unless you meet him! "

Han Fuju listened to the music: "Well, you are really good, aren't you?"! If you sleep here, I'll see you.

Don't be angry; Good boy, don't give up, get up! Get a company commander Dangdang! "

Han Fuju joke one

Han Fuju became the chairman of Shandong Province and was based in Jinan. It is strange that he has never seen an electric light before. The light didn't go out all night, and the guards outside thought President Han was in the office.

The next morning, several guards came to his room with toothpaste, soap and a washbasin of water. I saw Han Fuju sitting there sweating with bare arms, blowing electric lights. Still swearing: grandma is a bear, what lamp! I played all night, but I couldn't put it out ... I made the guards happy, but I didn't dare to laugh. Put down the toiletries and ran out quickly.

After a while, the guards went in to pour face wash water. They heard Han Fuju say, Today's breakfast is really fragrant and sweet. That side is not delicious and bitter. I drank all the soup, but it was tasteless. ...

Han Fuju's jokes (2)

One day, Han Fuju received a telegram from Chiang Kai-shek asking him to meet him in Nanjing as soon as possible.

He was not very happy when he read the telegram. He said to the adjutants, I am so busy with my official duties for one sentence! The adjutant said: not a word, but a greeting. The chairman wants to see you. Han Fuju said, an old gentleman, what's there to see? I'm not going. The adjutant said that there must be something important to talk to you, and you should leave quickly. Chairman, it will be bad if you don't go! Han Fuju said, trouble, then I'll go. What do you mean by "walking fast"? The adjutant said, I want you to go.

Han Fuju said, OK, I'll send a telegram. That guy is quick.

Han Fuju's jokes (3)

When Han Fuju arrived in Nanjing, he saw a lot of "drive to the left" written on the roadside, and he kept muttering in his heart.

I met Chiang Kai-shek that day, and they chatted for a long time, which was very speculative. Chiang Kai-shek said that President Han has worked hard for the country and the people, so let's stay in Nanjing for a few more days! Han Fuju said, thank you! There is nothing interesting in Nanjing, so I have to give an opinion to Nanjing. Chiang Kai-shek said that President Han's comments were welcome. Han Fuju said, I saw "driving on the left" on the road, so who should drive on the right? This is wrong, isn't it?

Hearing this, Chiang Kai-shek laughed and almost laughed off his false teeth. ...

Han Fuju's jokes (4)

On one occasion, Han Fuju saw the instructor training new recruits.

The recruits couldn't get to the point, and the instructor turned up his nose and called them stupid like donkeys. Han Fuju angrily scolded the instructor and said, You are as stupid as a pig! Who knows what 1, 2, 1 Han Fuju asked the recruits to wear sandals on one foot and leather shoes on the other. Yell at the instructor: You fucking shout at me now, shoes and sandals. ......

Those recruits really hit the nail on the head.

Han Fuju's jokes (5)

Han Fuju went to a school to give a speech. The headmaster called all the students to the auditorium and asked President Han to give a lecture. burst into thunderous applause ...

Ladies and gentlemen, in your seats, how is the weather today? Today is a good day for a speech. Is everyone here? Raise your hand if you don't come! The headmaster said that everyone was here. Everyone is very prosperous today. I really have a cold.

You all grew up reading big books and drinking ink. People in seven or eight fucking countries know English. Brother, I am a man who climbed out of a gun and grew up eating bullets. I stand out among you. ...

This, this, this marshal ... advocates this, this, this new life, which is certainly good, and we should advocate it. That's it. This pedestrian walks on the right, while others live on the left. Why not go home? ...

Our new life will involve sports and activities (the headmaster said it was sports). Just now, a group of people grabbed a ball (the headmaster said it was a basketball game) where we entered the door. This is wrong ... if we don't have money, we can't get it. Buy a few more balls, and each person will serve one, so you don't have to argue. This is decent. No matter which basket, the whole basket is leaking, one is lost and the other is gone. If you have no money, you will always mend your basket. ...

Once again, the whole auditorium was in turmoil. ...

Han Fuju's jokes (6)

Han Fuju once tried a chicken thief and a cow thief.

Han Fuju was convicted of stealing cattle and chickens.

The chicken thief refused to accept, and Han Fuju stared with small eyes: "Damn it, the cow didn't resist, and you still dare to steal when the chicken crowed. Are you not guilty?"

Han Fuju's jokes (7)

Han Fuju can't read, but she is smart.

Whenever the armory wants to issue equipment or pay wages, there must be a note stamped by Han Fuju himself. The adjutant knows that Han Fuju can't read, and many documents come in and out of the armory every day. He thinks that if there is an opportunity, he can take this opportunity to get a ticket for himself. So, the adjutant himself quietly wrote a document, forged a big seal like Han Fuju's seal, put it on the document to destroy the fake seal, and then took this document to the armory to get a batch of equipment and put the secretly sold money into his own pocket.

Soon after, Han Fuju came to the armory to inspect. He picked up all the papers and looked at them one by one. Suddenly, he held up a document: "This is not right, there is a problem, someone dares to forge my seal!" "

When the adjutant saw it, he was so scared that he almost didn't fly away. He forged what Han Fuju was holding. He said implicitly: "Chairman Han, is this obviously your seal? Is it too long for you to remember? "

"No," Han Fuju shook his head. "This is fake, I know."

"But Chairman Han, how can you be sure that this is a fake?" The adjutant didn't understand: "The seal on this one is no different from other seals."

"There is no difference," said Han Fuju. "But my seal is marked. I know. There is no mark on this, it must be fake. "

The adjutant thought, my seal is the same as yours. Why didn't I see the mark you said? I asked Han Fuju this question again. Han Fuju held up the document and pointed to the seal on it and said, "You can see clearly that my seal has a needle, so every seal I cover has a small hole in the paper. If there is no small hole in the seal on this paper, I know it is fake."

Is this happening? The adjutant was blindsided at once.