I want a funny joke? As long as there are more than ten, it will never be adopted!

1. There was a cruel son who always disobeyed his father's orders and deliberately opposed him. As the saying goes, "knowing a son is like a father." When his father died, he deliberately left a will saying, "I must be buried in the water." I really hope that his unworthy son will be buried in the ground against his will. After his father died, the rebellious son secretly repented: "I always disobeyed my father's orders." Now that my father is dead, I dare not go against my father's wishes this time. " So he dug a puddle and buried his father in it.

2. The climate is abnormal and the plague is prevalent, affecting horses, cattle, sheep, chickens, dogs and pigs. At this time, foreigners are more cautious in their daily life and diet than usual. When they found swine fever, they informed the butcher that all pigs to be slaughtered must be tested by foreign doctors, and all pigs infected with swine fever were not allowed to be slaughtered. As a result, the pigs that were not sick were slaughtered first. Before they died, they all confided to each other: "I didn't expect how long the plague beast could live!" " A pig sighed and said, "This is the common sense of the world. Haven't you seen the official human plague? Ordinary people look forward to his death every day, but he just won't die! "

3. A Guo-zi-jian diploma married a concubine, nicknamed Sister Jing, and his wife was jealous. When the husband wants a concubine, he tells her, "Go to Beijing." One day, she was going to Beijing, and her wife said, "Let's settle the bill here." After finishing his work, his wife said, "Why don't you go to Beijing today!" " "I don't have any in my stomach," Sheng said. What are you doing in Beijing? "

Someone asked the philosopher Aristotle, "What's the difference between you and a mediocre person?" "They live to eat, and I eat to live." The philosopher replied.

5. The teacher asked, "If iron is placed outside and exposed to air frequently, it will rust.". What about gold? " The student replied, "It will be stolen."

6. Once, the captain of the navy women's team asked who would like to join the choir. "What about you?" She asked a blonde stunner. "I can't sing." "Never mind," she said. "Your task is to make the sailors look forward."

7. Say nice things to your boss; Say bad words to subordinates; Lie to your wife; Tell lies with your lover; Tell jokes with acquaintances; Talking nonsense with strangers.

8. The students of China Law School are arguing an important issue; Can I smoke while studying code? They have their own opinions and are at loggerheads. Finally, they went to the rabbi. "Rabbi", a student first asked, "Can you smoke while studying the code?" The rabbi said angrily, "No." Another student approached the rabbi and said, "He asked the wrong question. Yes, rabbi. Can people learn code while smoking? " "Of course." Rabbis ruled happily.

9. Melon vendor: "Come and eat watermelon, no charge if it is not sweet!" "Hungry passerby:" Wow! Great, boss. Have a nice day. "

10. Xiaoming walked up to the PE teacher and said, "Miss Wang, I will never play football again from today." Teacher Wang feels very strange: "Playing football is a beneficial sports activity. Why don't you attend? " Xiao Ming said: "It is irresponsible to listen to the radio today and say' Playing football'. "