Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Is it easy to find articles? I want to find an article called "Look 18 Eggs Waiting for You" and publish it in children's literature magazine. Can you find it?
Is it easy to find articles? I want to find an article called "Look 18 Eggs Waiting for You" and publish it in children's literature magazine. Can you find it?
So on my way home, I bought a hen, all white, with rich feathers and light bones, without the idiocy peculiar to other hens.
I gave her delicious food until she laid eggs. After waiting for three years, she didn't lay an egg. That I haven't eaten an egg in these three years. Although there are earth eggs on the market, who can guarantee that they are not fake?
I'm not interested even if it's not fake. I only eat her eggs.
I stubbornly waited for Er-gei to lay eggs. The second is the snow-white hen who refuses to lay eggs. "Er gei" is the Chinese homonym for "egg". I told her clearly with my name: "I raised you to eat your eggs."
But I don't know if my second aunt is playing dumb or really doesn't understand. She just doesn't lay eggs. I urged her again and again, "When on earth will you lay your eggs?" The second one cocked his head and smiled and replied, "I will never lay eggs." With that, she left without looking back and went to the yard to catch a small beige grasshopper.
I'm not angry with her at all, never. For three years, only she accompanied me to live in a bungalow in this suburb. We eat together, walk together and tell each other our worries.
Second, on a good night, she must sleep on the sofa; If she is in a bad mood, she will sleep in bed. Even if I refused fiercely and pushed her down again and again, she jumped back into bed again and again, squatted at my feet with the cheek, put her head into her wings and fell asleep soon, so I carried her back to the sofa. As soon as she woke up in the morning, I exclaimed, "Second, why did you sleep on the sofa again?" You abandoned me in the middle of the night, and I was hurt. "Second, I blushed and bowed my head. I don't know why this happened.
But my malnutrition seems to be getting worse. I look pale in front of the mirror and often feel dizzy. I told Er I needed her eggs to supplement my nutrition. But she refused because she was not interested in laying eggs.
I said, "Second, you are a selfish hen. But selfish and lovely. "
The second said, "You are also a selfish person. However, selfishness is not as lovely as me. By the way, you are still so stubborn and stubborn. "
Two selfish animals lived together for three years, relying on each other and having deep feelings.
One day, after a walk, Ergui said, "I'm going to fall in love."
I'm a little jealous, but I still say, bless you, which is a good thing.
Another day, uh, told me that she was going to lay eggs.
As soon as she spat out the word lay eggs, my saliva fell vertically. I said, "Okay, lay eggs, okay, okay, lay eggs." Because there is too much saliva in my mouth, everything I say is almost blurred. Second, cocked his head and looked at me coldly. I held her head and kissed her cheek, still vaguely saying, "Second, you finally found your conscience. Thank you." I decided to fry the first egg you laid into a poached egg. "And cocked his head and looked at me coldly. I continued: "Thank you, gentlemen. Thank you. From now on, I can eat earth eggs every day. ".The grace of a drop of water, when spring comes. "
And cocked his head and looked at me coldly. When I mumbled out all the excited words I wanted to say, her tone was hard, like an ice ridge: "I want to lay eggs because I want to be a mother." You are not allowed to take an egg I laid and eat one. "
Two words made me angry half to death: "joke!" First of all, I didn't raise you to hatch a nest of chickens, which made people unhappy; Second, I only raise you to eat your eggs; Third, I am your master, and you must listen to me. "
Second, I responded word for word: "first, I laid eggs because I want to be a mother;" Second, I won't lay eggs to satisfy your appetite; Third, we are equal. "
I was so angry that I couldn't speak. If I had known this, I should have kept a stupid hen, only laying eggs and obeying the master's hen. A hen with a sharp tongue and a clever head like Erzai is really not suitable for domestic use. Later, I suddenly said, "You either don't lay eggs or lay eggs for me. There is no other choice! " After throwing out this sentence angrily, I felt dizzy and lay in bed.
I fell asleep somehow. When I woke up, it was the next morning. I found two curled up at my feet. She told me that she was in a bad mood.
I kicked her out of bed and she screamed in panic. After recovering from the panic, she said, "I decided to run away from home today and never come back." Unless you promise me the freedom to be a mother. "
"This is a threat!" I cried.
"This is not a threat, this is that you have cornered me." She also cried loudly.
I really regret spoiling her so much, spoiling her, not listening to me, and talking back is worse than me. I said, "You can leave if you want, you heartless guy."
"Yes, master." Second, calling me master for the first time hurts me.
Two people go out, into the yard, and out of the gate, snow-white figure gradually blurred. I rushed out: "You two, come back, I promise!" " "
Erzai flew back and proudly said, "Haha, I knew this would happen." Her words made me a little uncomfortable. This is really a calculating hen. She knew I couldn't bear to part with her, and she took advantage of my feelings.
I sat on the threshold with a sad face. The second one said, "I'll give you a little swan dance." So she jumped up, with a short neck and short legs. It looked funny. It was a pure little hen dancing, and I laughed hysterically. And also laughed. So we made up. At night, I was lying in bed, and she was lying on the sofa telling me about her bright future: "I want to lay 10 eggs, no, no, too few, 20 eggs, no, no, too many, just 18, yes, just 18." I want to be the mother of 18 chickens. I take them for a walk in the yard to catch insects. Oh, great, so happy. "
She was intoxicated with happiness and soon fell asleep.
The next day, she laid an egg in the grass nest in the yard, a small, round and pink shell. My mouth watered at the sight of it. Although I also restrained myself, my desire to eat it is like a river that absolutely burst its banks, and I can't stop it.
I fried it into a golden poached egg. Because I ate in a hurry, I went into my stomach without tasting anything. I was wiping an oil star on my lips when Er Gui came back from bathing in the bunker outside the yard. Clever, she knew what happened in the first second.
"Bad guy, you ate it." She laughed and shouted at me, "I restrained myself, but I didn't succeed."
"You are a shameless person, a mean person who doesn't keep his word."
Originally, I was still a little guilty, but Er Gui called me a "bad guy, shameless, villain" in just two sentences, and I felt guilty.
It's gone.
I said, "I'll eat. What do you want? "
Second, ignoring my rogue face, she found the fragments of the eggshell and buried it in the soil. There were tears in her eyes when she did all this. Her tears broke my heart. I know, I hurt her.
At night, Dale sleeps on the sofa. She sleeps on the sofa, not because she is in a good mood, but because she hates me.
I feel lonely when I think of the days when we were intimate and bickering.
The next morning, Er Zi made another request to run away from home.
I took out an agreement:
written agreement
Party A: Second Brother
Party B: Sanyi
After consultation, both parties agree to the following terms:
1, hide in time after laying eggs. If sanyi is found, it will be eaten by sanyi; If you can't find it, you can hatch into a chicken. 18 After the eggs are finished, Sanyi Club will provide two places to raise chicks, so don't disturb them.
2, no one is allowed to cheat, otherwise, out of the house.
Party A:
Party B:
date month year
Two have to step on footprints, three are easy, that is, I pressed the handprint, and the agreement came into effect.
Because of this agreement, I stayed in hope. She believes that she can hide the eggs well.
I actually thought about the contents of the agreement all night: where can I hide my eggs in such a bungalow and yard? Wherever she is hiding, I can find her. Therefore, I don't have to worry about running away from home and leaving me alone, and I don't have to worry about having no earth eggs to enjoy.
Sure enough, finding eggs is too easy.
The first day, I found one in the hole in the wall of the yard. I made it into sweet and sour scrambled eggs with tomatoes.
The next day, I found one in the bookcase in my room, and I made it into a fresh and tasty steamed egg.
On the third day, I found one under the sofa. I made it into a delicious chopped green onion egg.
The fourth day, I found one under the rose tree in my yard. She and I branded a golden and attractive omelet.
……。
I never eat eggs in front of the second waiter. Second, going to the bunker to take a bath every afternoon seems to be her unchangeable physiological habit. I eat eggs when she takes a bath. When she came back, I read a book and watched her at the same time. As soon as she came back, I went straight to my hiding place. In a short time, she will rush to me quickly, blushing and reflecting the feathers around her. She said, "Did you find it? Have you eaten? " I nodded and she left silently with tears in her eyes. The pace is slow, as if there is no strength at all.
Looking at her back, I often feel distressed, which is a kind of sobbing pain. Especially when I saw her packing up the eggshells and burying them in the soil bit by bit, my heart ached to tears.
However, I can't help eating eggs. I want to eat two eggs.
We hardly talk to each other. She sleeps on the sofa every day. Sleeping on the sofa doesn't mean she's in a good mood.
One day, I suddenly couldn't find my eggs.
I didn't find it the next day.
I couldn't find it on the third day.
For 10 days, I didn't see a small round pink egg. I almost turned my room and yard upside down, but I couldn't find it.
By the way, it must be explained. I have to go to work in the company every morning, and it is during this time that Er Zi lays good eggs and hides them.
I'm going to ambush her at work and spy on her. But I finally rejected this disgraceful idea. Facing a hen, why should I use human intrigue to calculate each other?
Second, I am happier and more depressed every day, because I can't find eggs, and I feel dizzy more and more.
Er gei doesn't seem to care at all. His eyes were cold and he flashed a smug smile: "Haha, I can't find it."
I fell into a deep loneliness. How did the feeling of interdependence between us disappear? Why does it hurt not only, but also?
After 18 days, Ergui said happily, "I tell you, there are finally 18 eggs. According to the agreement, you have to provide me with a place to hatch chickens. "
I said gloomily, "Of course!"
Now I just want to know where the 18 eggs are hidden. Two take me to bed. My bed has a backrest with a mezzanine in it. I never use it. Second, signal me to open the backrest interlayer. 18 eggs are neatly coded.
"Anyway, the most dangerous place is the safest place." The second one cocked his head at me and said his eyes were full of banter and pride.
I lost my IQ to a hen. I feel humiliated, not the taste.
I put 18 eggs in a basket and walked into the yard. The two of them followed happily. She kept asking, "Are you going to put my nest in the yard?" "Can you add some cotton wool?" "Can you add some rose petals?"
"Can you add some ..."
"No, it's nothing. I want to boil them all into tea eggs. " I said with a straight face.
The two men jumped with fear at my words.
"Are you a liar? Is there a more shameless liar in the world than you? "
I originally just wanted to play a joke on her and vent my inner dissatisfaction, but her words angered me instantly. I made up my mind to boil them into tea eggs. Whether she ran away from home or not.
I just want to boil them into tea eggs.
I took the coal stove to the yard and made a fire. Hold an aluminum pot, pour water into it and sprinkle with tea. When I was about to put the egg in, I, uh, jumped in.
"Cook me, you liar." She stood in the pot by her neck, and the water in the pot filled her chest.
"If you threaten me again, I won't buy it."
"Whatever."
I tried it with my hand in the water, and it was warm.
"Are you really going to stay out of it?"
"You have to boil my 18 child into a tea egg, and I won't come out."
The water in the pot began to heat up a little under the passionate kiss of the flame.
I shouted, "Jump out, you'll burn yourself."
"My heart has been burned by you." She looked at me and said.
"Please come out, the water will be hot soon. Very painful. "
"I am already in pain, and my heart is already in pain." Two people said.
A wisp of hot air floated on the water.
Two people frown.
"Two, please come out."
Second, I didn't move.
The water at the bottom of the pot began to bubble.
I took them out in handfuls and sent her to the hospital with tears. She was burned, but luckily it wasn't too serious. After coming back from the hospital, I gave her medicine every day and took care of her very carefully. But she never talks to me. Until one day, I sincerely said, "I have something to discuss with you."
She squinted at me: "Don't discuss anything with me." The injury on her leg hasn't healed yet, and she refuses to grow new skin.
"Well, I hope you can help me hatch 18 chickens, and you can lead them to walk in the yard and catch bugs. I think our family is really lonely. Is that okay? " Her eyes suddenly lit up. She looked at me and said, "Really?"
"yes." I looked at her positively. "But you must never call me a liar again."
The second wound healed at once, and the new skin grew very strong, leaving no small scars. I am busy making him a comfortable and beautiful nest with newly picked cotton and dried rose petals.
She slept in my bed the night she didn't officially hatch chickens. Just because she sleeps in bed doesn't mean she's in a bad mood. I still like to carry her to the sofa when she is asleep. When I woke up in the morning, I exaggeratedly scolded her: "Ah, why did you abandon me in the middle of the night?"? I am very hurt! " "She bowed her head, blushed, smiled shyly, and didn't understand what was going on.
On the day when Er Gui officially announced the start of hatching chickens, a burst of dizziness made me fall on the bed. I called the doctor and the doctor said, "You are seriously malnourished. It needs repairing. Have some eggs, remember, they are earth eggs. "
The second brother left home the day after the doctor came. A note was posted on the courtyard door: "I officially ran away from home. Please eat 18 eggs. If you miss me, you must eat eggs. one
Take one every day for the best effect. This is the most authentic earth egg. Two stay. "
I jumped on the door and began to cry. I remembered our quarrel, our intimate days, our mutual hurt, and the funny way she danced Little Swan. ...
I am waiting for her to come back.
Second, I will keep 18 eggs until you come back.
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