Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Interesting talk about making friends.

Interesting talk about making friends.

First, my mother gave birth to me. Do the math yourself and see who I am.

Second, I'm not good-looking, but I'm not as freewheeling as you are.

Third, those manufacturers of condoms don't always care about being ultra-thin. There is a market for extra-thick condoms. It doesn't matter if the price is expensive. After all, dignity is more valuable to a man!

Fourth, study history well. If you can't do it that day, cross it.

I shook my head hard and my wig was thrown out.

Six, hypocritical boys, see ugly women say sorry, see beautiful women say we have met.

Seven, the highest state of a woman is a demon, but you have become a demon.

Eight, if the sky is affectionate, die young, great, and die under the flower.

9. "Can I touch your school badge?" "I didn't expect you to make your chest attack so fresh and refined."

10. What kind of sleeping position is the most swaying and what kind of hairstyle is the most enjoyable.

I will play with anyone who dares to disturb my homework again.

I can't tell whether I am too strong or heartless.

Thirteen, I am the ideal of pork, and the life of cabbage is always vinegar. I want to be braised once.

Fourteen, don't miss some crooked melons and cracked dates. How do you know what is best?

15. I hate it when others say "southeast, northwest" when giving directions. Can't you say "around"?

The story of Meng Mu's three moves actually shows that she has a good son. If I were you, it would be useless to move it a hundred times!

17. We'll see. If you dare to steal food outside, I dare to steal drinks outside.

We run after time every day, but we can't measure the distance from Monday to Friday.

Twenty, if the children in this country have lost their innocence, then the future of this country must lack imagination.

Time is not the time to get up, but how long you can sleep.

It is said that women are made of water, but recently the water pollution is so serious.

Your advantage is that it's useless when it's critical.

You can lie to me once, but please don't doubt my IQ and lie to me again and again.

Twenty-five, there will always be a few days in this year when there is no money in the pocket and nothing at home.

26. Viruses fall in love with my computer, so I can only help them.

Twenty-seven, you cured a blind man that day. When he saw you, he begged you to make him blind again.

Twenty-eight, it's not that I don't want to be a lady, it's the world that makes me a bitch!

Twenty-nine, the most powerful thing for me is that I can be a gangster and a writer without smoking or drinking.

30. I think the brightest smile in my life is probably dedicated to my mobile phone and computer screen.

Thirty-one, one lives, two lives, and three lives.

Don't lift yourself so high, or you will fall and die.

How to send friends to military training? Talk about funny short sentences about sending friends to military training.

1. Handsome guy before military training, Bao Qingtian after military training.

2. Military training, seeking heavy rain, seeking strong wind and lightning! ! !

3. Let the sun of military training come more fiercely and make military training hotter.

4. After the military training, the hardest thing is to comb your hair and take a bath!

5. Don't kneel in the sun, windy, cloudy, rainy and low temperature during military training.

6. Military training means spending money to find abuse.

7. During military training, you raise your head 45 degrees just to keep your nose from stopping. Bow your head 45 degrees just to wipe your nose, so no one can see it.

8. I finally know why military training should turn left and right, because it will be evenly sunburned.

9. Please be sure to return the heavy rain you missed in those years during military training.

10. After the military training, the hardest thing is to comb your hair and take a shower!

1 1. How many African compatriots have been trained by military training?

12. After military training, you are finished.

13. "boring white man" is "boring white man" in turn. Is it difficult for military training to be doomed to sunburn and cool mushrooms?

14. During the military training, I endured tears for several days and finally broke out when I went home.

15. Actually, the instructor is still very good, if he can keep his voice down.

16. I found that the more handsome the instructor, the better the girls stand.

17. I'd rather be in the rain for military training than accept a gift from Grandpa Sun.

18. During military training, I envy a short classmate because a tall classmate helps them keep out the sun.

19. You should eat enough, go to bed early, and don't stay up because you are ugly.

20. I kissed your face, full of cream, bb cream and sunscreen. I think I ate a lot of money in one gulp.

2 1. I came home from military training thin and dark, and only my parents were distressed.

22. The annual military training began. ...

23. Confucius said: Sleepless at noon, collapse at noon. Mencius said: Confucius is right!

As a typical loser, you are really successful.

25. Military training taught me what is the temptation to go home.

26. Let the sun of military training come more fiercely and make military training hotter.

27. During the military training, send Jam Hsiao incense sticks and ask him to give a concert in Jiaozhou!

Send funny sentences in a circle of friends

1. In the vast desert, an explorer struggled to drive his jeep to a camel rider and asked, Sir, how can I get to the shortest way? The man said, go straight along this sand road and then turn right on Tuesday.

Second, the first person who used QQ to be invisible in the world was a quiet girl in the Western Zhou Dynasty. There is a poem "Quiet Woman" as proof: a quiet woman is her girl, as long as I am in the corner of the city. Deliberately hiding for me to find, scratching my head. A very demure MM asked me to meet on QQ, but as soon as I got online, she became invisible and made me scratch my head.

At noon, Xiao Li and Xiao Wang met at the door of the toilet, and Li He went out. Li: Have you eaten? Wang: Yes. Li: How does it taste? Wang: Not bad. Li: When? Wang: I just ate it! Li. Oh! Xiao Wang: What about you? Li: I'm going in to get comfortable. Xiao Wang: Oh, my God! Fuck you.

A: Although mountains and rivers are high, people can pull them up. How is that possible? A: Haven't you heard that Li Bashan is furious? What about the river? Can we pull it out? Haven't you ever played tug of war?

5. In the Internet cafe, a man in his thirties and forties sat beside him, seemingly chatting about QQ. Another woman asked him to turn on the video, but this guy actually pointed the camera at me and then hurried to the bathroom. Out of humanitarianism, I dug my nose into the camera for a minute, and then the woman silently turned off the video. After the man came back, he sent dozens of rolling windows, but the woman ignored him.

The cat warmed the frozen mouse. The mouse said with tears in her eyes, benefactor, it's very kind of you. I will repay you. The cat said coldly, I just think you are too cruel!

7. When I was waiting in line for dinner in the canteen, I accidentally stepped on MM's back, and she scolded me. I bowed my head and sighed in a low voice: MM is so fierce now! Who knows MM listened, her face flushed and her chest stood up: am I really a chest?

Eight, the biggest failure in life is the Tang Priest. People around you, whether friends or enemies, want to send you to the West.

Nine, the old lady from the countryside to the city, to stay in a hotel. The next morning, she found the waiter, pointed to the toilet and said, look how convenient this small washing machine is. You can wash clothes with one click, and the water output is quite large! Huh? Why is a sock missing?

Ten, a few days ago, a friend asked me for a computer, asking for a quad-core CpU, 8G memory, 1T hard disk and a discrete graphics card. Everything is very advanced. I asked him: It's super cool to play 3D games with such advanced configuration. What game are you playing? He said: I don't play 3D games, I play landlords. I wonder: why does the landlord want such a high configuration? He replied affirmatively: The machine is fast and can play good cards.

The elephant whispered to the deer: I heard that my teeth and your velvet are very valuable. The deer asked: Really? The elephant said, it is true. I want to ask the orangutan to pull my tooth. It must cost a lot of money! The deer scoffed and said, What face do you have after pulling out your teeth? The elephant replied without thinking: as long as it can sell money, what kind of face is that!

Twelve, some girls convey to men the feeling that I will never live as well as you, and I will die. So they never had a boyfriend.

Thirteen, hold a party, our program is the chorus "We are all a family". Before taking the stage, my brother encouraged everyone to say that you should be as calm as me and don't be nervous. As a result, more than a dozen people took to the stage with neat steps. Brother personally announced the curtain call: to present a chorus for everyone. The name of this song is "We are all human beings".

Fourteen, the county magistrate was promoted, and the Ministry celebrated. There was no shortage of wine and songs, and finally I was tired. Time to go home. The director and the driver hugged him home and the door slammed. The tall lady looked unhappy and was about to be reprimanded. Chang opened his eyes slightly, glanced at them and repeatedly said, Wrong, wrong box, that young lady is not that old.

15. Today, my mother called me and said that she was making a facial mask and had an SB dog at home. The background dog woke up, opened his eyes and yawned. When he saw his mother's face covered with a white mask, he suddenly jumped up, ran back screaming and ran into the door. How scared he was when he peed on the dog all the way! How horrible is the white face mask?

Sixteen, young people eat the overlord meal in the restaurant, want to leave without paying after eating, and are caught by the waiter. The waiter threatened: within five minutes, if you don't pay, I will call the police. The young man said indifferently, do you think the police will compensate me when they come?

Seventeen, the old man fell on the road, and a young man like a student came forward to help. The old man said in horror, Tong, which university are you from?

A famous pianist went abroad to perform by train. When resting in the box, she moved the bed by hand to practice fingering. When she arrived at the station, the train was two hours late. She blamed the conductor. The conductor replied apologetically that we stopped on the road for two hours because someone flicked the alarm from time to time, but we couldn't find out who it was.

19. In the morning, my roommate called his girlfriend and said he would show her tattoos at night. His girlfriend said: Even if you tattoo a 3D body, you can't change your 2B temperament! ! !

Have you eaten? No. Are you a sophomore? B: Hungry. A: Is it stupid? B: Very hungry! A: At first glance, he is a very stupid person!

I just saw a big golden retriever outside, and everyone likes it. I went up to touch it, and the dog added me, and it added it to my mouth once. The dog's owner saw it. The owner of the dog is a sister with positive blood type. She will be here soon. I just want to borrow my dog for a ride. As a result, the sister paper said, why are you licking my dog? I was confused in an instant! What a mess!

Twenty-two, I said to my brother: Brother, I just got hooked up. My brother looks confused and disappointed. He thought for a long time and solemnly said to me, how could he be beaten by a dog?

Twenty-three Last night, I sent a short message to my girlfriend's mobile phone: I am pregnant. As a result, I replied: Is it your boyfriend's or XXX's? Don't tell your boyfriend yet. I didn't sleep last night, and my numb hands are still shaking. . .

Last time, my primary school classmates mailed me a box of betel nuts. A buddy asked me what it was, and I said it was a Hunan specialty. Hearing this, he insisted on having a taste. Well, I gave it to him. Half an hour later, he actually ran to my dormitory and knelt in front of me. He really knelt down, his face flushed and his forehead was covered with sweat. He only said one sentence: What did you give me? Give me the antidote.

Twenty-five, iphone 4S snuggled in the arms of iphone 5 with tears: Small 5, people blame me, blame me for not being perfect, blame me for not having enough battery life, Siri has defects, and built-in iOS 5 has loopholes. I'm sorry I'm a fool. Don't be silly. Don't care too much about what outsiders say. Those people, I will make them lose a kidney this year.

Twenty-six, after dinner. Mom: When exactly are you getting married? Elder sister: When I find the right man. Mom: What exactly do you want? Elder sister: When you go to the hall, you get the kitchen. When you save eight figures, you get a house and a car. If I don't have much time outside, I'm the biggest at home, and it's good to have a little muscle. Brother is frightened: Sister, you can't miss my man! ! !

Twenty-seven, there is a man who is very fat, and he has been fatter recently, but he feels good about himself. Once he met an old classmate and said excitedly, I have a high rate of returning my head recently! Old classmates can't believe it. He stared and said, really? Oh, I see, you can't read it all at once!

Twenty-eight, the store was decorated, and my husband stuck a few one-dollar coins with cement at the door, and then every day he saw someone squatting at the door to tie his shoelaces, squatting for a long time.

At a certain age in your life, you will always come once a month. Usually come on time, of course, a few days early or a few days late is common. When it comes, it is often accompanied by physiological reactions, such as nervousness, irritability, insomnia, depression and even loss of appetite. Of course, the most amazing thing is that several people who live in a dormitory will come on the same day. Yes, it's the damn monthly exam.

After graduating from senior three, he was admitted to a domestic university, and she chose to go abroad. Have to face parting. At the airport, the two embraced affectionately and reluctantly. He watched silently as the plane carried her higher and farther. Suddenly, he found that the direction of the plane was from west to east, and the direction of the geomagnetic field magnetic induction line was from south to north. He asked: Is the potential energy on the left side of the plane high or on the right side?

When a person applies for a job, he must fill in the application form whether he has been arrested before. Of course, he filled in: no! The next question is: Why? This is for the person who filled in the last question, but he wrote it anyway: because he has never been caught!

A little girl called the radio station and ordered a song for her mother. Moderator: Why do you want to order songs for your mother? Little girl: Mom works hard every day and can't have a good rest on Sundays. She needs to find me various exercise books. The host was very moved and said that she was very sensible and a good boy of her mother, so she asked her what song she wanted. Little girl: Why do women have to embarrass women?

Thirty-three, a millionaire was told that he was terminally ill, with only half a year left. He found a killer when he was sad and asked him to kill him when he was happiest. A few days later, the millionaire was told that he was misdiagnosed, laughed happily and was killed by the killer.

Funny about staying up late, about making friends.

It is not good to stay up late, but I have become a habit. The reason should start from my childhood a long time ago.

Fool, don't always stay up late and go to bed early!

People who like you don't accompany you when you stay up late, but advise you to go to bed early and stay up less.

Losing and staying up late has become a habit, and there is no sustenance for tossing and turning at night.

Do you know why I like sleeping? Because when I fell asleep, the whole world was mine, and so were you, but when I woke up, everything was gone.

6. I don't want to sleep, but I really can't sleep.

7. Missing, spreading wantonly in this season.

8. Don't stay up late. Staying up late is not good for mobile phones.

9. Don't stay up late. Everyone you like is asleep.

10. I bought too much recently, but it's not good. It's not good to watch x after staying up late. My dark circles are so big. ...

1 1. I insist on eating breakfast whether I stay up late or stay up all night.

12. You taste your green tea and I'll drink my spirits.

13. I know whether staying up late hurts me or staying up late. Even though I know you don't love me, I still love you.

14. I like to take out my mobile phone and look at the space at night, and then say good night to the people I care about on the message board to let them know that I will still be here tomorrow.

15. I like to hear you say you love me and call me every night to say good night. Because that's enough.

16. I plan to stay up late to finish my homework on the first day of school [the problem is that I have to recite so much on the first day! ]

17. True love is not a momentary affection, but an impulse to persist in knowing that there is no result. I know it's not easy to meet you, but it's a pity to miss it.

18. People who are loved are children who don't grow up, and people who lack love are always precocious!

19. Life is like this photo, tired, tired! Why don't you let go ... can you fucking let go?

20. Eat on time, go to bed early and get up early, and don't stay up because you are ugly.

I am addicted to staying up late, and no one comes to listen to me. Every time I go to midnight, I don't have the courage to meet the dawn.

22. I am Ao Bai's younger brother who stayed up late.

23. I really can't let go. It's really hard. Obviously, I paid my heart and only got his apology. Does it help if I apologize?

24. Every night, how many people, like me, stay up late waiting for someone's reply.

25. Some things make me weak, such as the addiction to staying up late, and you in the distance.

26. People who are addicted to staying up late like me need to practice sitting still.

27. When you see others clearly, you also see yourself clearly.

28. I'm tired, my heart is tired, I'm really tired, so tired that I find it difficult to breathe, but who will understand? No one will understand, but only the computer, turn on the favorite music, over and over again ... let the soft melody soothe the tired and injured heart.

29. When I turned around, the wind blew black hair, and when I turned around, it was all snow.

30. You can only walk into your own time at night. The time during the day is for life, and the time in the middle of the night is for yourself. Dear health, I have been staying up all my life, and I'm sorry to tell you.

3 1. If you don't belong to yourself, why bother to care?

Raise your hand if you don't sleep in the middle of the night.

Don't stay up late, it's not good for your health. Everyone knows this, but for people who are really used to staying up late, it is difficult to fall asleep before a certain time.

34. The hardest thing in this world is not the night, nor the process of waiting for love, but the process of waiting for love to disappear.

35. You are much weaker than when you were a child. At that time, you had many dreams and made a lot of efforts. You want to get into a good school, you want to have a group of friends, and you even have a crush on someone. You will stay up reading and listening to your friends. But now, you are more knowledgeable, wiser and stronger than before, but you have never worked as hard as before, because you firmly believe in yourself and the future.

36. You have your roses and I have my clover. It's not very fragrant, but I'm lucky.

37. In the dead of night, the elves who stayed up all night poked their heads out to observe the world.

38. There is a strong wind in this city at night, which blows away magnanimity. You always miss home when you are tired and miss him when you are lonely.

39. I stay up late, I feel distressed, I cry, I am tired, I miss you, only I know.

40. Do you remember how blocked your door was two years ago, and which teenager stayed up late with a love letter to read to you?

The funny story of staying up late is about sending friends circle, the third 4 1. Did you tell others not to stay up late, but you stayed up late?

42. I missed the reincarnation for that time, but I didn't wait for you after all.

43. The night gave me black eyes, but it made me fall in love with the pain it caused me.

44. How many people want to stay up late and hope for tomorrow at night.

45. If hurting Russia is a relief for you, Russia is willing to bear this torture.

46. Read the following syllables to realize the function of sound insulation symbols.

47. Time is a rogue who always likes to ruin expectations.

48. If I see the ending from the beginning, I still choose to make you happy!

49. Call you after staying up late.

50. I stayed up late chatting with him, and my face was covered with pimples, but he pushed me away and called me ugly.

5 1. Thank you for going through a difficult journey. May all your wishes come true.

52. I only hope that long-term companionship is not boring!

53. If there are so many ifs, how can there be so many right and wrong?

54. I just wanted to hear your good night, but it happened to dawn.

55. I have foreign time difference in China.

I gradually got into the habit of staying up late, but unfortunately no one came to tell me that staying up late is not good for my health.

I prefer the tranquility of the night to waking up in the morning.

58. Later, I became addicted to staying up late, but I got used to it and nobody cared.

I can't wait for your good night, so I can't sleep.

60. I'm not waiting for her, I just haven't met anyone who can replace her!