If you’re not kidding, don’t be too harsh.

Author丨Lu JJ

　[1]

In the age of popular interest, everything must be interesting.

The same goes for speaking.

When a person speaks, he should not be boring, talk the same thing, or act according to common sense.

It’s best if you can shake off one or two baggage and make people laugh, which is naturally great.

But one problem is that many people do not get the essence of the joke and just mess around.

What kind of people are they?

They are extremely vulgar and pride themselves on being humorous.

Spoken and heartless.

They see themselves as talk show hosts in the spotlight.

Just by talking casually, you can make a group of viewers enjoy themselves.

In the eyes of others, they are an embarrassment in capital letters.

Can’t speak but still prefer to talk, can’t even joke but still insist on joking.

The opposite of humor and joking is never boring, but embarrassment, rudeness and offense.

One day at noon, several colleagues and I went to a restaurant for dinner.

After ordering, a few people sat there.

A male colleague named Zhang wanted to stir up a topic, so he told an incident that happened to him on the subway.

I wanted to make everyone laugh, but the baggage was so distorted that it was really not funny.

When he saw that everyone was silent, he pointed the gun at a female colleague.

“Hey, I saw your post on Moments yesterday, and I feel like I’ve gained weight again, hahaha.”

The female colleague whispered: “I’ve been eating well lately. ”

“It turned out that your face was not so big, but now you look like a piece of cake.”

“I obviously have a oval face, okay?” the female colleague wanted to argue.

"Ah hahaha, you are obviously a big-faced person."

After hearing what he said, the female colleague was too lazy to argue and started playing with her mobile phone with her head down.

Later, when we talked about my hometown, a male colleague named Zhang asked an intern in our department.

“Where are you from?”

“My hometown is from XX.”

“I’m from there. I heard it’s very poor there. The mountains and rivers are poor. You are a troublesome person, but I think you are pretty good when I get in touch with him.”

When I heard this sentence, countless barrages flew by, and I thought he was out of his mind.

I really admire the speaking ability of a male colleague named Zhang who “makes a splash as soon as he opens his mouth.”

His original intention just now was to suppress it first and then increase it, but he seriously suppressed it in the wrong place.

"Oh God, please shut him up."

This is a true portrayal of my heart at that time.

Fortunately, the food is here, otherwise I feel like there will be a fight here if I keep talking.

You see, the best thing for people who can’t joke is to mess up the wonderful atmosphere and make other people’s moods freeze.

They can never tell what is a joke and what is a mouthful.

Being humorous does not mean being rude.

Humor does not mean vulgarity.

They are immersed in self-righteous jokes, but they cannot see clearly their own lack of education.

[2]

Women chase men’s veil, and men chase women’s mountains.

There are some mountains that are difficult to climb, and many men try their best to attract women’s attention.

I wanted to use my words to incite a hint of intimacy, but unexpectedly it backfired and incited a stench all over the world.

Male: "Although you are average-looking, I like you."

Female: "..."

Male: "You are so short. Can I call you Short Winter Melon from now on? Hahaha."

Female: "..."

Male: "If you eat so much, you won't be afraid of becoming Pig."

Female: "..."

Male: "Looking at your dress, it looks very academic, hahaha.

"

Female: "..."

Male: "You look so dark, I'm afraid I won't be able to see you after dark, hahaha. ”

Female: “…”

The above words are not comfortable, why?

Because they all talk with guns Targeting others.

Especially targeting others’ weaknesses.

The key is to make friends with each other in no time. Don't let people get angry after making a joke.

"Oh, I just made a joke, don't take it seriously. ”

“Don’t be so petty, I’ll just talk casually. "

"You are really, really angry at me. You can't even take a joke. ”

The original intention of a joke is to make people laugh, not to make people feel uncomfortable.

Anyone who is good at making jokes knows that the joke should be directed at themselves, because self-deprecating is always a The safest and most effective.

It doesn’t matter if you say you are ugly, short, fat, earthy, or black. It doesn’t matter if you make yourself so black that no one knows you. At least it can liven up the atmosphere and please others.

But what you say to others is bad.

What seems like a joke to others is malice.

　[3]

Liang Shiqiu’s humor is well known to everyone.

He spent more than thirty years translating “The Complete Works of Shakespeare” into Chinese. Academic circles know that he spent a lifetime devoted to the study of Shakespeare, which can be said to be worthy of recognition. At a "celebration party", Liang Shiqiu said modestly: "Three conditions must be met to translate "The Complete Works of Shakespeare". First, he must be uneducated. If he is knowledgeable, he will do research and verification work;

Secondly, he must not be a genius. If he has a genius, he will do research, write novels, poems and dramas and other creative work;

Third, he must live for a long time, otherwise he will not be able to complete the translation.

Luckily, I have all three conditions, so I completed the translation of this masterpiece. "

Liang Shiqiu is like this. He often entertains others by deprecating himself. His modesty and low-key are self-evident.

There is also Huang Bo.

No. 46 At the 2016 Golden Horse Awards, he and Zhang Jiahui received the Best Actor Award. As soon as Huang Bo took the stage, he adjusted the atmosphere and laughed at himself: "I remember when I was just admitted to the Beijing Film Academy, some classmates said, Huang Bo was also admitted to the Film Academy? What are the current admissions standards? It's too loose!"

As soon as he finished speaking, the whole audience burst into laughter.

At the Golden Melody Awards a while ago, Xiao S, as the award guest, kept calling Wu Qingfeng "Sister Feng", Qingfeng It’s natural to leave the table with a black face. You can call me whatever you want at the Kangxi Awards, but the Golden Melody Awards are where people from the industry gather. Where should I put my face?

In big occasions, there are many people. You have to be careful when making jokes about others.

Although Xiao S has a high emotional intelligence. But there are still times when things are not fully considered.

Cai Kangyong’s words afterwards hit the nail on the head: “For some people, what is an acceptable joke may very well become an unacceptable bullying for others in different situations. , and bring harm. ”

Joking is an art of scale.

Your jokes should be particular about who you make them to, how you make them, and how much you make them.

The same joke , it also depends on whether it can be played on different occasions.

If the joke is good, it is the scene of the wedding banquet.

If the joke is not good, it is the scene of the car accident.

If you don't know how to open it, please don't force it.

[4]

Before speaking, please think about the "identity position" between each person. , all have an invisible ruler.

It’s best to use a ruler to measure who you are and what you can say about the other person’s strengths.

Avoid the opponent's restricted area.

If it is your girlfriend, you can joke: "You are as stupid as a paramecium."

If the other party is your female colleague, you cannot say that. .

Don’t tell the opposite sex the dirty jokes you usually tell with your roommates.

First, some people of the opposite sex will be disgusted;

Second, don’t pretend that you are trendy, open and wonderful;

Third, what if the joke is true? It's very yellow, it will make you look very low.

The kind that is so low that it falls into the dust.

There is another characteristic of bad jokes: they are looking for something to say when they have nothing to say.

I once heard a female colleague complain in the office that a man was chasing her recently.

His enthusiasm was all used up when he had nothing to say.

For example, during lunch, the man said on WeChat: "What did you eat for lunch?"

The woman was busy, so she replied: "I didn't eat anything."

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The man said: "How can you not eat anything for lunch? It hurts your stomach!"

The woman was afraid that he would ask further questions, so she just talked about what she had eaten.

The man replied: "Is it just food? Why don't you eat vegetables?"

"You eat vegetables."

"What did you eat? Tell me about the dish.”

“...”

The female colleague didn’t reply to him after that.

After hearing this, I realized that the greatest embarrassment in the world is not silence, but finding something to say when you have nothing to say.

It feels like decorating a house that doesn’t even exist.

Forcibly build up some pitiful goodwill.

Finally, I hope the world will be better, with more real jokes and less unconscious yawns.

Happy social interaction starts with me.

Everyone is responsible for despising talk.