Please give some political jokes.

George Washington (1732— 1799) was the first president of the United States. He has a young secretary. One morning, he got up early.

In the morning, the secretary came late. He felt guilty when he found Washington waiting. He said there was something wrong with his watch.

Washington calmly replied, "I'm afraid you have to change your watch, or I'll change my secretary."

Letter of introduction 1797 In the summer of 1997, French revolutionary Constantine Werner visited American President George Washington. Warne, in order to get

I was allowed to travel around the United States and asked the president for a letter of introduction. Washington thought: don't open it, let vornie touch a nail; Go ahead,

Embarrassed me again. So he wrote on a piece of paper: "Kang Vaughan doesn't need a letter of introduction from Joe Washington."

Thomas Jefferson (1743— 1826) was the third president of the United States. Ambassador to France from 65438 to 0785. one

One day, he visited the apartment of the French Foreign Minister.

"You replaced Mr. Franklin?" Asked the foreign minister.

"Even if you replace him, no one can replace him." Jefferson replied.

Andrew jackson (1767— 1845), the 7th president of the United States, fought Benton. Benton was shot.

Jackson lost his left arm, and the bullet stayed in it for nearly 20 years. 1832 when the doctor took out the bullet, benton had become.

A fanatical supporter of Jackson. Jackson suggested returning the bullet to Benton, but Benton refused to accept it. Like 20 years in prison

Period, has been the transfer of property rights, the ownership of the bullet is Jackson. Jackson said that since the last duel,

Only 19, the property right relationship has not changed. Benton replied, "In view of your special care for bullets-always carry them."

Carrying-I can give up this year. "

John Calvin Coolidge (1872- 1933), the 103 president of the United States, is famous for his few words and is often admired.

Alice Roosevelt Longworth once said Coolidge "looks like he was fished out of salt water".

".

Coolidge said: "I think the American people want a serious donkey to be president." I just complied with public opinion. "

Because President Coolidge is taciturn, many people always take it as an honor to talk to him more.

At a banquet, a lady sitting next to Coolidge tried her best to get Coolidge to talk to her more. She said:

Mr Coolidge, I made a bet with others: I will be able to squeeze more than three words out of your mouth. "You lost?

Yes! "Coolidge said.

Once, a well-known lady sat side by side with the president. She said a lot, but the president remained the same.

Without saying a word, she had to say to the president, "Mr. President, you are too taciturn. Today, I must try to get you to speak more.

In short, at least more than two words. President Coolidge mumbled, "In vain."

"I have been standing, too." Coolidge was burying his head in his office when a woman who worshipped Coolidge burst in and made a statement to him the day before.

Congratulations: "There were so many people in the hall that day that I couldn't find a seat at all. I have been standing and listening to you. "

Speech. "

The lady said this in a slightly aggrieved tone, apparently hoping to get a few words of comfort. Unexpectedly, Coolidge was cold.

"You are not the only one affected," he said in the desert. "I have been standing that day."

I don't want to be president anymore. When Coolidge's presidency was coming to an end, he made a famous remark: "I don't want to do this business anymore."

The reporters felt that he had something to say and kept pestering him to explain why he didn't want to be president anymore.

There is no way out. Coolidge took a reporter aside and said to him, "Because the president has no chance of promotion."

Just answer one question. When abraham lincoln (1809-1865), the 6th president of the United States, was studying, there was an exam and the teacher asked.

He: "Do you want to answer a difficult question or two simple questions?"

"Answer a difficult question." Lincoln said confidently.

"Then you answer: How did the egg come from?"

"Chicken-born."

"Where did the chicken come from?"

"Teacher, this is the second question."

Taking clothes to town When Lincoln was a lawyer in Springfield, one day he walked to town. A car came from behind him.

At this time, he stopped the driver and asked, "Can you do me a favor and help me take this coat to the city?"

"Why not?" The driver replied, "But how can I get your coat back?"

"Oh, it's easy. I'm going to wrap it in a coat. "

Time and again, when Lincoln was a lawyer, he appeared as a defense lawyer for the defendant.

The plaintiff's lawyer repeatedly stated a simple argument in court for more than two hours, which made the audience impatient.

Yes

It was finally Lincoln's turn to take the stage to defend the defendant. He stepped onto the platform, first took off his coat and put it on the table, then picked it up again.

The glass drank two sips of water; Then put on your coat, then drink water and take off your coat. This has been repeated five or six times,

The audience in the court was convulsed with laughter.

Lincoln said nothing and began his defense speech with laughter.

Give others a chance A woman came to President Lincoln and said confidently, "Mr. President, you must give my son a colonel."

This position. I don't ask for your gift, but we should have the right. Because my grandfather took part in Leixin.

In the battle of Tonton, my uncle was the only one who didn't run away in bratton, and my father took part in the battle of Na olins.

My husband died in Manto, so ... "

"Madam, your family has served the country for three generations, and your contribution to the country has been enough. I have deep respect for you. Now you can.

Can't give others a chance to serve their country? "Lincoln took the words.

The ugly face Lincoln is the funniest of all American presidents. Sometimes I laugh at myself. People know what Lincoln looks like.

Ugly, and he knows it.

Once, he argued with Stephen Douglas, who said he was two-faced. Lincoln replied, "Now, let's listen."

Please comment. If I had another face, do you think I would wear this ugly face? "

Back in the Civil War, Lincoln issued an order to the front, asking commanders to submit a report to the White House for information.

There is no leakage. General McLelland is an impatient man. It's really unbearable to receive this order from President Lincoln, Ma.

Send a telegram to the White House, saying:

"President Lincoln, Washington, DC, Jun Jian: Six cows have been caught, please ask for treatment. McLelland. "

Lincoln received a telegram from General McLelland and immediately called him back:

"General McLelland's Medal: I learned it by telegram. Chen caught six cows for milking. Lincoln. "

While Lincoln was shining his shoes, a foreign diplomat came up to him.

"Why, Mr. President, you should shine your shoes?"

"yes." Lincoln replied, "Then whose shoes do you clean?"

After being hit once, an oncoming officer ran into Lincoln in the corridor of the War Department building. When he

When I saw that it was the president who was hit, I immediately apologized.

"Ten thousand apologies!" The officer said respectfully.

"One is enough." Lincoln replied. Then he added: "I wish the whole army could act so quickly."

Some people criticized President Lincoln's attitude towards his political opponents: "Why are you trying to make them friends? You should want to do it.

The law attacks them and destroys them. "

"I'm not in the elimination of political opponents? When I let them be my friends, political enemies don't exist. " President Lincoln

The system said gently.

Assessing the enemy's strength In a discussion about troops, Lincoln was asked how many allies there were on the battlefield.

"1.2 million." Lincoln replied.

This figure far exceeds the actual strength of the Confederate army. Looking at faces full of surprise and doubt, Lincoln replied

He said: "Just right-65,438+200,000. You know, our general always tells me after every defeat in battle.

Being outnumbered, the enemy is at least three times stronger than our army, so I have to trust them. At present, our army has

400,000 people, so the Yugoslav army is 6.5438+0.2 million, there is no doubt about it. "

Wise choice 1888 On the 23rd presidential election day in the United States, candidate Benjamin Harrison (1833- 190 1) was very calm.

We are waiting for the final result. His main interest seems to be in Indiana.

It was already 1 1 p.m. when the Indiana election results were announced, and Harrison had already gone to bed before that.

Yes The next morning, the friend who called him to congratulate him at night asked him why he went to bed so early. Harrison explained:

"Staying up late doesn't change the result. If I am elected, I know the road ahead of me will be very difficult. So anyway, rest.

Goodness is a wise choice. "

Theodore roosevelt (1858- 19 19), the 26th president of the United States, was robbed of many things. His friend

Write to comfort him, he wrote back to his friend and said:

"Thank you for your letter to comfort me. I am safe now. Thank god, because: first, the thief stole my things,

Won't hurt my life. Second, the thief only stole some of my things, not all of them. Third, the luckiest thing is:

He is a thief, not me. "

President theodore roosevelt loves face very much. No matter what occasion, he will be the center of attention.

"My father doesn't like to attend weddings and funerals," his son once said, "because at weddings and funerals, he is

You can't be a bride or a dead man. "

"I am that large group of people." The 27th President of the United States, william howard taft (1857- 1930), was once trapped in a train in a village.

Standing for a long time, I was at a loss, because I couldn't catch the train by a very coincidental chance, he heard, if many people want to sleep.

Cars and express trains will also stop at small stations.

Soon, the train dispatcher received a telegram saying that there were a large number of people waiting to get on the bus in Hicksville. When the express train was in Cox.

After Will stopped, Taft got on the bus alone and explained to the puzzled conductor, "You can drive now, so I'll come."

It's that large group of people. "

Taft, the winner of the former presidential election, ended in a fiasco when he ran for president with Wilson and Roosevelt. When someone asked him what he thought of it.

On reflection, he replied, "I'm sure that no candidate has ever been elected as a former president by so many people."

Taft, who is full, is the heaviest of all American presidents, and his gestures are very powerful.

One day, he visited former President theodore roosevelt, went to the seaside villa where Roosevelt lived, and decided.

Take a bath in the sea. It happened that one of Roosevelt's children had had enough fun on the beach and ran home to find Roosevelt.

"Dad, let's go swimming." The child said.

"No, son, not now." Roosevelt picked up the child and said, "Mr. President is using the ocean."

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