The origin of cold joke notes

Opening the back door to deliver notes has a long history and tradition in China. The "stripes" two fingers wide worked, but they were not small. As long as there is such a "note", it is like taking the VIP passage with a green light all the way to the plane. "Open the road on every mountain and bridge the bridge when encountering water."

During the Tongzhi period, there was an honest and stubborn man near the Shuangfeng boundary in Hengyang. He has been thrifty and thrifty all his life, and his life is fairly moist. I didn't expect to have a quarrel with someone when I was sweeping the grave in Qingming one year. The other party used his wealth and power to abruptly move a grave to his ancestral grave. The lawsuit went from Hengyang County to Hengzhou Prefecture, and the other party always prevailed. The old man couldn't swallow this breath and was forced to hang himself.

One day, the farmer's relatives and friends reminded him: "You are blind. Isn't your adopted son the governor of Nanjing Liangjiang? He is alone, under ten thousand people, and no one in the world knows his name. " The man held out two fingers, put his mouth close to his ear and said, "Just ask him to write a two-finger note to the Hengzhou government to ensure that you win the lawsuit."

"Oh, why didn't I think of that?" The old man patted his chest and said. After being inspired, he immediately made up the travel expenses, took an umbrella and went straight to Nanjing.

The governor's office of Liangjiang is not easy to enter. "What is it for?" Haven't crossed the threshold, the village chief He Wen's door rang loudly.

"I'm looking for my adopted son." The old man dared to answer.

"Who is your adopted son?"

"Kuan Yi."

All the officers didn't know Zeng Guofan's birth name was take off your coat. Seeing the old man's rustic appearance, I won't let him in.

Suddenly, news came from the governor's office that the governor was going out. The courtiers quickly pulled the old man away from the blocked door. But he didn't listen, just stood by the door to see if his adopted son came out.

After a while, a sedan chair came out. The old man saw at a glance that Zeng Guofan was in danger in his sedan chair. "Kuanyi" shouted with a local accent, and Zeng Guofan heard it clearly. He quickly stopped the sedan chair bearer, got off the sedan chair and asked in surprise, "Isn't this michel platini?"? How did your old man come? " He turned to welcome michel platini into his house.

Suddenly, the inspector's backyard was filled with joy. Zeng Guofan and his wife asked questions while entertaining wine and rice. The old man got to the point and explained his purpose. Zeng Guofan interrupted him and said, "Let's not talk about it for the time being. Your old man finally came. Let's play for a few days. " He called an official from his hometown and said, "The official's son is at home, so he can't play football with michel platini these days. Ask him to play with you, such as Xuanwu Lake, Qinhuai River, Confucius Temple, and scenic spots and lively places in Nanjing. "

The old man can't bear to visit. After only three days of playing, he couldn't hold back. That night, he told his adopted daughter his request and begged her to persuade Zeng Guofan to give Hengzhou a two-fingered "note". Mrs Ouyang said, "What's the hurry? If your adopted son wants you to play for a few days, you can play for a few days! " "The lungs are going to explode. If you can't win the lawsuit, you will be bullied in vain. How can I have the heart to play for a long time! " Don't worry, unless he is older than your adopted son. "After hearing this sentence, the old man finally felt a sense of security.

Played for another three days. After Zeng Guofan's busy day, Mrs Ouyang told him that michel platini had made a special trip to Jinling. "Just write him a note and go to Hengzhou." Zeng Guofan sighed and said, "How can this work? Didn't I write to Emperor Cheng many times not to interfere with the official duties of local officials? Now I have intervened thousands of miles away. Am I not hitting my mouth? " Michel platini is a conscientious person. You can't watch honest people being bullied. You have to uphold justice! "After repeated requests from Madame Ouyang, Zeng Guofan was tempted. He walked around the room for several steps and said, "well, let me think." "

The next day, just as Zeng Guofan was promoted, officials from Nanjing came to congratulate him. He gave a banquet at the headquarters, and the old man was honored. When making a toast, Zeng Guofan introduces you first, and the chief is michel platini from Hunan. Hearing this, the civil and military officials stood up together to pay tribute. Make the old man feel embarrassed. Then, Zeng Guofan also praised michel platini, saying that he was hardworking and honest all his life. This time, the old man came to Nanjing, did not want to stay long, and insisted on returning to China in a hurry. As he spoke, he took a small box wrapped in HongLing from the servant, opened it, took out a folding fan and said, "I want to give michel platini a small gift. If you can afford it, please leave your name on the fan as a permanent souvenir. " Everyone put down their chopsticks and saw that the folding fan had paid the money neatly. The first paragraph is "Treat the son of heaven like a father", and the next paragraph is "Dedicate Zeng Guofan." One by one, in response to Zeng's love, they signed their names on fans, and some even wrote poems. In less than half an hour, both sides of the folding fan were full. Zeng Guofan happily put away the folding fan, still wrapped in HongLing, and presented his hands to Platini. The old people here also know etiquette, so they got up and bowed to all the civil and military officials to thank them.

After the banquet, the old man returned to the living room, muttering something. When Mrs Ouyang heard this, she saw that he was holding a HongLing bag in his hand, nagging, "It's wide and wide. A piece of paper with two fingers, always reluctant to write, but it took so much effort. No matter how many words are written on this plaything, I can't appreciate it. " Mrs Ouyang took the red envelope from him and opened it. She was surprised: "michel platini, congratulations, congratulations!" The old man looked gloomy and said impatiently, "Where does the joy come from?" "What a treasure!" "What is a folding fan? Write me a note with two fingers. This is the sword on the side. " "Oh, michel platini," said Mrs Ouyang to the old man in detail, "this is more valuable than the note you want. When you take it back, no matter what lawsuits or other things you do, no matter how big an official he is, it will help to see this fan. Don't lose it, just take it with you and get lucky! "

These words warmed the heart of the old man. "ah! -"He seemed to think of something and smiled knowingly.

As soon as I got home, the magistrate of Hengzhou rose to the hall, the yamen was open, and the old man swaggered in with a folding fan in his hand. At that time, the defendant went to court with a folding fan in his hand, which was contempt of court and should be punished. "Put down the fan!" The leader ordered. The old man pretended not to hear, and an official came forward and grabbed the fan from him and threw it on the ground. "This can't be lost. It was sent by my adopted son. " Magistrate great anger, gavel a clap, "unbridled! Bring it up! " The magistrate took the fan and looked at it. "Well ..." After turning it over, he turned his attention to the old man and looked at it carefully. Then he gave an order: "Quit!"

It is said that after the old man retired from Hengzhou yamen, the magistrate picked him up in a sedan chair, not only respectfully returned the folding fan to him, but also warmly entertained him. It is conceivable whether he lost or won the powder mountain lawsuit. In the story, Zeng Guofan actually understood the truth, so he wrote to warn his younger brother at home many times not to interfere with the official duties of local officials. But this time, he was ungrateful and inconvenient to come forward directly, so he cleverly came up with this brilliant method. It's just that cleverness turns to cleverness, but it can't change the essence of fans, that is, "cops."

I hope that such "policemen" will become less and less in China in the new era, and their functions will become less and less until they are worthless.