A joke with connotation

Complete works of meaningful jokes. There will always be things in life that make you unhappy. We may feel sad about it, but after reading a few jokes, we will become happy. The following is a complete collection of meaningful jokes that I sorted out and shared.

A meaningful joke 1 1. Love violence novel: the topic "Don't pester me to give birth responsibly every day and then get married to turn you into a woman like your mother" Text: "Pa."

2. The theme song of the CCTV version of The Big Bang Theory: At that time, the universe was chaotic; Eighteen thousand years later, Pangu gave it a knife, wow; Goddess fills the sky, Jingwei fills the sea; Houyi shooting day, the Goddess Chang'e flying to the moon; Shennong Fuxi, Yan Huang, Yao Shunyu; Invented the compass powder, as well as papermaking and printing; Yin and Yang five lines of gossip, and axe and sickle; They are all Pangu's, alas!

When I was working at Dell, I heard a female employee raise her hand and ask, "What are the three secrets of your success?" Later, she was promoted faster, and everyone hated it, which had something to do with her problems. They envy and hate, but they can't be so shameless. Now that I have read the MBA, I can finally ask this question naturally. This money is really worth it! (pigeon eggs 99)

Today, I went out to play with my nine-year-old nephew by bus. There was a beautiful woman sitting next to me on the bus. Suddenly my nose itched a little, so I buttoned my nose there. Nephew said. Uncle, don't buckle it. Even with a nosebleed, that beautiful woman won't talk to you. . .

Voltaire was so addicted to coffee that he drank an amazing amount of coffee in his life. A kind-hearted person once warned him: "Don't drink this drink any more, it's a kind of, you're slowly killing yourself!" " ""You're right, I think it must be chronic. " The old philosopher said, "Otherwise, why haven't I died after drinking for 65 years?" "

6. Q: What is the reason for 69% fighting in Northeast China? what are you reading? What's the matter with you? Summary: Just because I saw you again in the crowd.

7. Divorced from my wife, it's good to be busy at work during the day, but I can't restrain my inner excitement at night, and I secretly laugh alone in the quilt.

Schrodinger's cat, Pavlov's dog, Skinner's pigeon, Thorndike's cat, Kohler's orangutan, tolman's mouse, Bridant's donkey, Tong Dizhou's crucian carp, Zhi Nuo's turtle, Kandur's sea rabbit, Morgan's fruit fly, Wilson's ant, Lorenz's butterfly, edward cope and Osner Marsh's plesiosaur, nagel's bat, Zhuang Zhou's butterfly ... . (Da Hefei Hou Xiaohan)

9. I went to the supermarket with my husband, only to remember that I forgot to buy fruit after shopping. Because I like fruit very much. Then I said, "honey, aren't we going to buy fruit?" "hmm." "That I eat at night? ! ""Have a big banana ~ ""Huh? Do you have bananas at home? " "..." Then everyone near the cashier was snickering. What are you laughing at? There are really bananas when I go home!

10. I have a friend who looks ordinary. When I first met him, I gave the impression that he was very ugly. After getting along with him, I found that he is good at talking, dressing and treating people. Slowly, you will find that he is ugly, and no matter how many advantages he has, it will be useless.

Connotation joke 2 1. To ordinary diaosi: You have been in college for four years, so don't think about anything. Just one task, get a 19-year-old girlfriend. This is your only chance in this life. Out of school is a social vulnerable group, and it's over. I'm 30 years old, renting a house in the group, so I can be a good pick-up man and live a middle-aged and elderly life. (vegetable market economist)

The reporter heard that G.E.M. imitated goldfish very well, so he asked her to perform. G.E.M. said, "Good! But you have to lend me one hundred dollars first! The reporter took out a hundred dollars and handed it to her and said, "Well, remember to give it back to me after the performance!" " G.E.M. asked doubtfully, "What else? (Rule 54)

Every time I was scolded, I lay in bed at night and remembered how to answer back.

4. Four modern customs: I dreamed of music since I was a child, quit my job to open a cafe, change the world, start a business, and leave everything behind to travel.

5. After talking with my girlfriend for eight years, one day she opened my qq space and found a verification question: My wife is _ _? After entering the name, she made a mistake and began to cry. The password was set six years ago, and I forgot. I cried and lost all the girls in my life, but I was still wrong. Just when I thought I couldn't wash it off when I jumped into the Yellow River, I suddenly realized where I was wrong and silently put her name in the Martian translation ... (Ashima milk tea)

6. How to lower your mate selection criteria? God replied: look in the mirror, take the passbook and look at the ruler!

7. Forgetting this word is a death above and a heart below. Who do you want to forget? I'll never forget it until I die.

8. It is said that on a dating website, a man introduced himself and wrote, "I'm a clown, and I'm not good-looking ..." So this man occupied the top spot in popularity for a long time, with tens of millions of hits.

9. People who really play rock and roll are generally afraid to say that they play rock and roll when they go out (for fear that they can't borrow money). Only those student dogs who haven't been weaned have been talking about rock and roll, and they look like dead mothers everywhere, for fear that people won't know that he is engaged in rock and roll. I'm tired of pretending that my feet are bubbling. When I graduated, I remembered my youth and cried out to my mother, so I became a small white-collar worker in various pheasant companies. (Voodoo Boy)

10. Milk tea is 2 1 year old this year. Dong Qiang's 40-year-old son is 8. Dong Qiang is still in its prime. Ten years later, his physical fitness has plummeted. His son 18 years old is at the peak of his life. Milk tea 3 1 year. The charm of mature women is as good as that of wolves. Isn't this Thunderstorm? . .

Jokes about colds (selected articles)

1. Portrait of northeast women: white mink leather pants in winter and beautiful waist in summer; The hips are upturned, the waist is thin and the chest is not small, which can be said to be spoiled; You can dump people on the wine table and cook in the kitchen; Dior Fendi Versace, don't you dare say my leg is broken. Portrait of men in Northeast China: small broken-step pointed leather shoes, big gold chain feet pants; Left Qinglong right white tiger, Mickey mouse in the middle; If you want to lift your hips, you should gird your waist, and if you have something to do, you should clip a bag; Hermes Armani, who the fuck is worried about me?

2. Wife: Honey, did you get off work so early today? Husband: The CEO asked me to play table tennis with him. When I accidentally won several of them, he said to me, "Go home. You needn't come tomorrow. You should work for a professional table tennis team. So I went home. "

3. If you are a beautiful woman from a poor family in Shanghai, you only need to talk about money and a house. Your mother-in-law has been poor all her life, pointing to this daughter to turn over. If you are rich and beautiful, you must talk about ideals. The higher the better, never talk about money. Not poor or rich, mainly talking about money and houses, making up some stories and engaging in some low-key romance, such as a trip to seven countries in Western Europe, you pay for it. (vegetable market economist)

I went to a western restaurant with my husband today. The waiter's attitude is not very good when serving. After dinner, my husband and I came out to pay the bill together. After the waiter received the money, he said to my husband, "Hello, take care!" " "My husband didn't know where his temper came from and replied," I won't walk slowly! "Then he took my hand and ran away!

The surgical teacher said that the difference between aseptic and clean is that you put a pile of excrement in a pressure cooker to steam a point, which is sterile, but do you think it is unclean? The teacher is so witty!

6. Xiao Chen was often bullied by the underworld. He couldn't stand it anymore, so he swore at them: Wait, I'll settle accounts with you! Then he left. A month later, Xiao Chen finally got his wish and became the meeting record of this group.

7. Now parents are very worried about two things: what their sons downloaded from the Internet and what their daughters uploaded to the Internet. ......

8. The correct way to pick up girls: chasing costs money; The wrong way to pick up girls: chasing after them and not willing to spend money. (This dream is really fucking bad)

9. I am a traffic policeman. Yesterday, I saw a little girl who couldn't park her car in the parking space on the side of the road, so I stepped forward to command, and finally I scraped another car. I was very angry and asked her, "I told you to turn left three times and turn right two times." Why do you have to play around three times? " Take out your driver's license! "Cried the little girl injustice. After reading her driver's license, I found that the little girl was born in September. . . (Jack Bobby)

10. "What do you want to discount most in the mall?" "Girlfriend's leg" (and then it's gone below)

A meaningful joke 3 1. I went to my girlfriend's, and she stayed at home with me in the afternoon. Saying goodbye is better than getting married, so … I call it hard work. Afterwards, I asked her how she was, and she said, "Of course, among the heroes of Water Margin 108, I was at least the third." I was grateful at that time, so I ordered what she wanted online.

2. "I am your primary school classmate. Do you remember me? " Which one? I don't remember. ""The one who won the first prize in the city composition contest in the third grade ""I don't remember much. " "I won the first prize in the Olympic Mathematics Competition in the fifth grade." "I still don't remember." "I lifted my teacher's skirt in the sixth grade." "oh! It's you! "

A parrot hangs in front of the pet shop. A fat woman passed by and looked at it. The parrot said, "You are really awkward." The woman ignored her. The next day, the woman passed by on purpose, and the parrot said, "You are really awkward." The woman was very angry and went to the shopkeeper, who promised that it wouldn't happen again. On the third day, the woman passed by again. The parrot looked at the woman and said, "You know what I want to say!" " "

The boss wants to hire a bodyguard recently. The secretary said, "I have a friend who just retired from the army. He's nice, but he's a little stiff. " The boss said disdainfully, "I have been in the army for so many years." Tell him to come with me at night! " "The next day, as soon as the secretary went to work, she heard the boss get angry in the office:" Who the fuck said he was stingy? " ! Who the fuck said he was nervous? ! !

5. "Grandpa, you have been married for 60 years, and you still call your wife dear. What is the secret of loving each other for so many years? " "No way, I forgot my wife's name 20 years ago and didn't dare to ask her. I can only call it that. "

6. I saw a dress in Taobao today, and there were two comments, one of which was favorable. The content of the evaluation is: different from the picture, with color difference, it doesn't look good to wear. The content of praise is: bought for classmates. I am satisfied that he is ugly.

I overheard a conversation between a man and a woman. Man: Wife, I just saw a good-looking woman with long legs. At first glance, she looks like a stewardess. Woman: Really? I'll give you another chance. You can say it again. Man: Oh, by the way, wife, I just met an old lady, wearing enchanting clothes and having long legs. When she saw it, she came out to live. W: Well, be careful what you say next time. ...

8. When I was in junior high school, I once wanted to go to the primary school campus to play, but the doorman wouldn't let me in. My girlfriend and I are going to go in through the railing, and we are all afraid of getting stuck. At that time, I tried it first, which was very good and passed smoothly. My best friend's head is similar to mine, and everyone thinks it's definitely okay. The result! As a result, she sank in, but not the head, but the chest. Hahaha! I couldn't stand laughing at that time! Many years later, now I know I laughed too early.

9. Yesterday, a roll call was made at the meeting. A colleague didn't come. The supervisor asked what was going on. Some people say that my father-in-law is ill, so go and stay with him. The supervisor asked him if he was not married. Colleagues replied that because they are not married, they are closer than their biological fathers!

10, girlfriend: "If I go out in a bikini, how will everyone react?" Boyfriend: "That person will think that I am with you because of your money."