Qq Personality Classic Funny Talk about Daquan

First, my neighbor's aunt's son is 29 years old, and he has talked with his girlfriend for a year or two and has not got married. In a chat, I asked my aunt, "Your son is 29 years old. When will he get married? I'm still waiting to eat candy." Aunt replied, "I'm in a hurry, too, just waiting for her girlfriend to divorce!" "

2. In ancient times, there was a child named Sima Guang. While he was playing with his children in the garden, a child accidentally fell into a jar full of water. The children panicked and cried and ran to find the adults. Sima Guang didn't panic. He lifted a stone and threw it at the jar. The jar was broken, water flowed out, and the children were saved. Everyone praised Sima Guang: You are so smart! The next day, they went to the river to play. Sima Guang accidentally fell into the river. The children didn't panic. They calmly lifted stones from the ground and threw them into the river. Sima Guang, at the age of nine.

My roommate of three or four years only ate an orange and gave it to five of us. It was a real orange. Snacks are always taken to bed by yourself, and then get out of bed after eating. Everyone in the dormitory charged two yuan for electricity. My roommate said that we used her electricity, so we shouldn't ask her to pay and give her money! More importantly ... I once saw five audis in her camera! Five cars! There is a camera at home!

4. I am a 26-year-old female. I just watched TV with my family and saw a TV series. The plot: the woman's parents didn't agree to the marriage between the woman and the man, so they stole the household registration book and went to register with the man. I read it with relish, and my father said to me: Look at all the people stealing the household registration book. Our household registration book has been in the drawer for so many years, and no one has moved it. It's the Spring Festival, it's really hard to prevent!

5. When criticizing others, don't forget that you also have many shortcomings

6. Two female employees are chatting at lunch. A: The new chairman is really handsome and well dressed. B: Yes, you can get dressed quickly.

Seven, my happiness is in hell, and all love is forbidden to go to prison.

Eight, I can tell many stories, from suitable for all ages to unsuitable for children.

according to research, the first owner of Taobao in China was the poet Wang Wei. The basis lies in a condolence poem he wrote to the buyer: I miss my relatives more every festive season!

1. I feel that I am neglecting my studies and indulging in male sexuality every day.

XI. How much is love worth? Can it be guaranteed?

XII. Male: "The society now emphasizes equality between men and women, and they are equal, regardless of each other." Woman: "Is that why you went into the ladies' room?"

XIII. Since my mother learned that I have a boyfriend, my household registration book has moved from the cupboard to the safe.

14. Be a female hooligan who fights everywhere. After all, no one treats you as a little girl.

fifteen or two hundred passengers have been waiting for twenty-four hours, and finally they can board the plane. When passing the airport security check, a passenger shouted, What's the need? If anyone had a weapon, he would have shot.

XVI. The U.S. Intelligence Agency reported that from August to September every year, a person in China has most of his troops assembled and then mysteriously disappeared! Later, the United States invested tens of billions in scientific research! Draw a conclusion-start military training.

XVII. It's my friend's birthday tomorrow. I sent her a short message when I got up the next day: Sofa

XVII. A man went through all the hardships to find seven dragon balls. After Shenlong appeared, he said that he wanted to realize his three wishes. The man blurted out that he wanted a train ticket to go home. Shenlong thought for a while and said, "Come on my back, or I'll carry you home!"

XIX. May you eat too much without getting fat and have a pleasant face.

twenty, people who like you will tell you that I took a shower, and then they will say that I finished washing. People who don't like you will die in the bathroom after I take a shower.

twenty-one, the person I like and the person who likes me remember to add clothes, and those who don't like me don't wear clothes.

twenty-two, young man, you think you are sad, but in fact you didn't sleep well. You think you are irritable, but in fact you are not full. You think you miss, but in fact you are too idle.

at night, I came into the room and saw my husband reading something on the computer. I asked him what he was doing, and he calmly said that he was watching island movies. I'm still at home, so blatant! Without saying anything, I went up and got a fat beating. Take the computer and have a look: Dragon Ball.

twenty-four, old woman: you want to hire a heroine, and I'll apply. Director: But you are late. Old woman: I came as soon as I saw the advertisement. Why am I late? Director: You are 2 years late.

twenty-five, just tell me in six words. I'll buy your snacks.

twenty-six, China students are the best at staying up all night, doing homework, standing the college entrance examination, standing the typhoon and sucking the smog. The flowers of the motherland are really strong.

Twenty-seven, the food is too kind to refuse people who feel lonely in the middle of the night like me.

XXVIII. I bought a pack of cigarettes at the grocery store in the morning, and then I went to the grocery store to buy a bottle of wine in the afternoon. By the way, I handed the cigarette to my boss and lit it. The boss took a sip and said, This cigarette is a bit fake ...

XXVII. Li: "Just now, a man suddenly hugged me from behind and molested me." Qiang: "No wonder you are so angry." Li: "What's even more irritating is that the man actually said,' What a wet blanket, it's a man!'"

thirty, my sorrow is nothing more than lying down with my chest flat and my stomach still there. Qq Classic Funny Talk about Daquan Space Funny Talk about Daquan Sentences

1. Now dating, many women first ask if they have a room and a car. In view of this, I suggest that real estate developers and car dealers set up a special women's registration office, so that all women who need houses and cars can register, and then launch the activity of buying houses and cars as gifts to their wives, and the things are sold, and the houses and cars that women need are also available. Everyone is happy.

2. Inadvertently making friends, I don't even say anything when I usually drink to death. I just want to know which bastard gave me a red envelope full of condoms when I got married some time ago, seven or eight red envelopes of condoms! Open it in public. Where do you want me to put my face?

3. I used to be a schoolmaster, too, until one day I wanted to see the world of scum, and as a result, I couldn't find my way back.

4. Don't make me angry. I'm also violent!

5. Should I sleep in on weekends? I'm sorry I didn't sleep at the weekend, so I slept and delayed cleaning and going out to play

6. I am a special person, so I am a special ordinary person.

7. If you are important, he will naturally try to keep you.

8. In winter in Beijing, I ordered a breakfast at a roadside shop. After a hot drink, it seems that all the cells in my body are activated by the warm current. I can't help but praise you. I didn't expect that although your shop is small, the coffee is quite distinctive! This is milk, sir, said the waiter, patting the dust on his shoulder. . .

9. Before my husband and I got married, we often pretended that we didn't know each other, and then we met or chatted up. The funniest thing was that once he rode a motorcycle to meet me at the subway exit, I deliberately asked the master how much it would cost to go to a certain neighborhood. Said: no money, just give me a kiss, so I really kissed him and got in his car. The masters of the motorcycle next to me were dumbfounded and urged me not to be fooled by the little girl!

1. Turn your photo into black and white, take it out when you miss you, and then tell yourself that you are dead.

11. How are you going to spend April Fool's Day? I'm going to confess. Why? Because I was rejected, I can still answer with a smile and say Happy April Fool's Day!

12. Do you know what to lose weight for? Losing weight is to eat again.

13. When I was in junior high school, a classmate always felt that his bicycle was slow. When he came home, he loosened all the screws around the wheels with pliers, thinking that it would be quick. The next day, during the exercise, the wheels flew out of the car at high speed.

14. Chinese at least increases literary knowledge! English can communicate with foreigners! History keeps you from betraying! Geography keeps you from getting lost! Politics lets you know how to defend your rights! Mathematics is to ruin the whole life: go to the Yellow Crane Tower and calculate how far the boat in the Yangtze River is from you!

15. Because you are the kindest and humorous girl I have ever met.

16.-If you mess with me again, I'll write your name on my underpants and fart and kill you.

17. Give you a mirror that allows you to get what you want! It's a surprise to look in the mirror. White teeth, big eyes and slender waist fascinate people. You look at yourself so beautiful. Why do you ask me? Because this is a ha ha mirror!

18. When I saw some people tattooing a ring on their fingers when they got married and chopping their hands when they got divorced, I said to my wife, Why don't we get one? The wife said: that's too small to play. Let's tattoo our necks. Holy shit, what a great time!

19. Time goes by, and I can't take away the care I gave you; Flowers bloom and fall, expecting the brilliance of tomorrow; Pursue as much as you like, and let yourself enjoy the aftertaste of your dreams; May I dance with you successfully and make countless good luck!

2. Nongfu Spring is a bit sweet, and the spirit guy is a bit hanging.

21. Let me see how big your heart is

22. My brother's former emotional life was also quite messy.

23. If your ex-boyfriend and current boyfriend fall into the sea at the same time, would you like to stay with me?

24. I really can't forgive your vulgarity, and you are still so vulgar!

25. But when the ugliest side is revealed, someone feels distressed from the heart, which is true love. If it is just tolerance and helplessness, life will tell you a truth, and if you don't do it, you won't die. Because love is the most fragile relationship.

26. Someone jumped off the building on the roof of the company next door, and the fire came. Pull the cordon. Laying an air cushion, but also psychologically comforting all kinds of persuasion, this hot day, busy around. I remember 12 years ago, when there was a dispute in the shopping mall, dozens of people climbed upstairs and pretended to jump off the building to fight the fire, so they pulled the cordon and said, "All right, start dancing." 27. You are so funny. Didn't you say you wanted to chat with me? I sent you a few messages when your daughter-in-law came.

28. When I got to an alley, a beautiful woman greeted me, "Handsome boy, go in and have fun." What moved me was tears, after all, for more than 3 years, someone finally admitted that I was a handsome boy and a beautiful woman. If I hadn't brought money, I would have followed you in.

29. I tell you, I don't like people who can't afford to play with me. What about your capital?

3. Male, I have a project of hundreds of millions. If you are willing to do it, it's all yours. Will you do it? Female, doing qq personality funny talk

1. I forgot to take medicine today, which frightened my little friends.

2. It's not a crime for men to use guns, but women live by B.

3. Hand in hand, we shine together to the end of the world.

4. If you smell it, you won't feel the sun.

5. Time tells me that no one needs to wait except express delivery.

6. A group of dogs behind them have money, but they can't walk without money.

7. The world is not only fair, but some mothers are also flat.

8. It's the son who can't control it, but the daughter who can't.

9. You are so likable that I can't love you.

1. Count the sheep until the mouth cramps, and the nightmare will wake up naturally.

11. You are like a pug. Whoever has food will go with you.

12. You are the first among all birds, and I am the most respected among thousands of kings.

13. It is said that women are like water, so I learned to swim.

14. The most important position in my heart is still reserved for you.

15. It is still easy to mix in ancient times. If you cut it off, you can become a civil servant.

it's spring, please control your feelings.

17. Looking back suddenly, the head teacher had already stood at the door of the classroom.

18. You must walk well with her. I'll take the bus.

19. Since I got mental illness, the whole person has been much more energetic.

2. You are not a VIp, or even a V. You are just a P ..

21. There is no predestination between you and me, and it is all supported by my face value.

22. Happiness is to find a warm person and live a lifetime.

23. You seem to have a personality. You are not tall and your personality is still so bad.

24, quietly waiting for you for a long time, you didn't come, but I am used to waiting.

25. Love has changed unconsciously under the exposure of time.

26. It's not that we fat people are too fat, but that you thin people are malnourished.

27. Give me a boat full of women, and I can kill myself!

28. As a monster, my wish is to destroy an Altman.

29. If you mess with me again, I'll tear your intestines out and tie a bow!

3. Opportunities rained on me, but I dodged them one by one.

31. If I fall in love with your smile, how can I collect it and how can I have it?

32. What matters in life is not where you stand, but where you are heading.

33. When you speak ill of me, can you not embellish it and think it's cooking?

34. Evil new society, why don't you have arranged marriages?

35. A woman said to a man, Come to my house, and I'll give you something to eat.

36. The recent ghost weather makes me feel like opening a refrigerator every time I open the door.

37. When you see the person you like on the road, you immediately start the pretending mode.

38. A lady is an undeveloped Bikachu. A gentleman is a wolf in wool.

39. Is it itchy? Itching is right. When the wound is growing, the nerve endings are also growing.

4. Be grateful! Thank you for accompanying me all the way through the long years!

41. Some people are alive, but she is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died!

42, explanation is cover-up, cover-up is dishonesty, dishonesty is lack of cleaning up!

43. In fact, everyone is the first in grade when handing in blank papers. Why do you have to kill each other?

44. The most romantic thing I can think of is to eat with you, and then you pay.

45. The PE teacher in junior high school said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt to my class again will be punished for handstand.

46. The palace is locked together, with beaded curtains and jade in the heart. It's really lockable, isn't it?

47. Living in this era of grass and mud horses, we should hold the attitude of fuck everything.

48. The furthest distance in the world is not life and death, but that you use Unicom and I use mobile.

49. After I left, you called me and said that you missed me, just like the barking dog on the street.

5. The next time a man scolds you for having thick legs, you should answer him, only your legs are thin, and all three of your legs are thin.

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