What jokes did ancient people use to surf the Internet?

Humor is used to describe interesting people, or to refer to something ridiculous and meaningful. More humorous cells and more ability to perceive humor can make people's relationship better, even in ancient society where everyone abides by feudal etiquette. So today's ancient stories will sort out some ancient joke stories for everyone, and let us feel the humor of the ancients together.

First, it is good to fight and smoke.

There is a scholar who likes to fight and pull money (meaning to ask people for property by using various relationships). It is said that this gentleman has a close friend who works as a policeman somewhere. The patrolman estimated that he would definitely come to fight, so he secretly asked his subordinates to forge 200 taels of silver into a pair of handcuffs and a chain rope, and soak it in liquid medicine to make it look like iron.

A few days later, the scholar really came to patrol the press, and the patrol was furious and said, "Can my yamen be rich?" Put on the handcuffs and take him back to his place. "The scholar was very angry, but also helpless. It was not until near the border of his hometown that the escort officer made it clear: "These handcuffs and shackles are all made of silver. My master has deep feelings for you, so he sent it to you on purpose to hide your eyes and ears. "

The scholar was overjoyed, but said bitterly, "He is still mean to me. If you really have deep feelings, it is not bad to make a 200-pound silver shackle. "

Second, a group of slick officials.

There was an academician named Feng Fang in the Ming Dynasty, who was very literary. On one occasion, Ningbo county magistrate sent his men down to ask him for a prescription. He immediately wrote in the prescription: "The seeds of the big maple tree have been denuded (people), and more than half of the fruits of the ground flowers are used, and the skin of the ground bones can be used for three purposes, and the gentleman (history) can add one." The magistrate looked at the prescription and said with a smile, "Feng Hanlin is laughing at you!"

When the official asked the reason, the county magistrate explained that the word "one" was used to remove people, half of the fruit was "rigid", three bones were "slippery" and one was "official". These four drugs are connected into four words, that is, "a group of slippery officials" (that is, a group of slippery officials).

Third, the stingy master.

Legend has it that there was a stingy person who wanted to be more stingy and worshipped a teacher called "stingy master" When he asked for an audience, he brought two gifts: a fish cut out of paper; A bottle of fresh water is wine. But the teacher was not at home, and Jenny came out to meet him.

Knowing that the man was here to learn skills, Jenny asked the maid to pass an empty cup and said, "Please have tea." He folded his hands in a circle and said, "Please have some cake." This man saw it and admired it. Unexpectedly, the teacher came back later and listened to his wife's warm hospitality to the students, but he was so anxious that he stamped his feet and said, "You are too expensive!" " "He closed half a small circle with his hand and said," Half a cake is enough! " "

Fourth, the judgment of the crime of rodent damage.

During the Jiajing period, there was a suggestion, a Sichuanese, who was very eloquent. A very powerful eunuch wanted to make things difficult for him, so he caught a mouse and gave it to him, saying, "This thing bit a lot of my clothes. Please comment." After some consideration, it is suggested to condemn the mouse: "If the punishment of banishment is too light, but too heavy, it is necessary to sentence him to death (cutting his limbs first and then his throat) and strangulation, then it seems that it is the most appropriate to sentence him to corruption." Hearing this, the eunuch knew that the proposal was a faint irony to himself, but because it was initiated by himself, he could only suffer a loss and was very angry.